The Douchiest Phone Message In History

June 26th, 2008 | 06:14 pm


Douchebag Phone Message - Watch more free videos

In all my years of studying douchebaggery, never have i encountered anything like this. It's such pure and unadulterated douche that I wish I could bottle it and use just a drop of it at a time.

The back story on this is that a girl named Olga was out with her friends in the Marina district of San Francisco (known for being a popular hang out for douches), and she talked to this guy named Dmitri for all of two minutes. Then she gave him her card and said "give me a call." The above is the messages he left. Listen to the whole thing, it just keeps getting better and better. I won't even tell you my favorite parts because i don't want to ruin anything. Just listen.

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Comments

1342 Responses to "The Douchiest Phone Message In History"

  1. booyah Says:

    hey retard - it's timidity, not timidness

    sadly I'm Canadian and he sounds Canadian

    also sadly, some (not all) Greek men are like this - run away!!!

    oh, he also sounds like a narcissist - he should look *that* up (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder)

  2. Rob Says:

    He left a message saying that she might have been abused as a child. And then questions her sanity. Why wouldn't she call back.

  3. Jenn Says:

    If any guy left me voicemails like those I'd totally never talk to him again. What a fucking fag. Lmao.

  4. Al Says:

    Olga, beware!!

  5. fadedexile Says:

    What I love most about this is that a lot of you women flock to guys like this, practically lining up to be shit upon while decent looking, hard working and respectful guys like me are seen as weak and desperate because we treat you the way our mother taught us a lady should be treated. Could anyone out there go for that? anyone???
    prove me wrong...
    36 / M / Arizona in good shape and drug free.
    email: iwantaniceguyforonce@yahoo.com

  6. 5'11 206lbs BITCH Says:

    BODYBUILDING.COM IN THA MOTHA FUCKIN HOUSE BITCHES DONT EVEN KNOW

    BIG MANE WILL RUB HIS OILY TESTICLES ALL OVER YOUR FACE

  7. curezen Says:

    would somebody pimp slap this dumbass. he's an idiot.

  8. Max Says:

    this guy sounds like the pickup guy Mystery

  9. gunners Says:

    doucheious maximus

  10. Says:

    this guy sounds like he's got BPD

  11. KingKorpse Says:

    You know that feeling you get when you just need to reach out and stab someone. well yeah i got that feeling from this douchebag but he still no the biggest i know wonder douche dude ripped is on mother off lol his name is DAVE WEST watch out for this douche

  12. Mt Says:

    This is fake.

  13. Mt Says:

    or a commercial.

  14. skadoo Says:

    you gotta be fuckin kidding me....geezzzzzz

  15. LOLOL Says:

    It is fake in the sense that he wasn't being himself. It's not fake in that he has real intentions. Watch him try to say it was a all just "viral video" since hes being completely owned and needs to cover his ass. Anyone that thinks this guy has balls is just like him. Ego recognizes ego. Hes a con artist. A good natured person can see right through this crap.

  16. Erica Says:

    Can you say LOSER he is so stuck on his self its not funny if he has that many women approaching him then what the hell is he doing wasting this womans time...Yea he has a specific type but damn (PATHETIC)

  17. G.O.D. Says:

    .
    .
    .
    Oh sure like thats even remotely real.
    .
    .
    .

  18. GerardofNYC Says:

    Hey Dimitri, hope you see this message of mine. I'd like to tell you that you are one of the sickest people I've heard probably in my whole life. Who says in a phone message that they're intelligent, a catch, I make good money, I'm good in bed, girls come up to me 6 or 7 times a day? Wow, all those girls coming up to you and you're still single? Hmmm... Dimitri, you are what the laughing world calls a fracking (Battlestar Fans) 'A Joke'. People all laugh at you Dimitri, but you walk away with thoughts that you said a funny joke. Wow, dear god, please never let me get so far off the beaten path to ever think or act like Dimitri. With all my heart, I pray. Amen.

  19. Meow Says:

    ....................

    Who gives the girl a bloody deadline?

    I'd laugh if she turns out to be lesbian.

  20. louie bouy Says:

    All of Greece turns its head with embarassent and the Greek gods blush with shame for Dimitri the god of Stupidity.

  21. Ashamed2BGreek Says:

    I am actually disappointed to be greek right now....

  22. Deb Says:

    funny ass chit dude rip for the picking

  23. Tom Says:

    maybe your mother has cancer

    LOL

  24. Singe Says:

    douche can't take a hint

  25. lah dee dah Says:

    No, it's not fake. My coworker knows Olga.

  26. Jodee Says:

    I'm still laughing, but this is sooo sad (shaking head). He does sound like a little Greek mammas boy. There's some of those around here too. He has psychological problems and I hope he gets help before he hurts someone. DOUCHE

  27. Nomad Says:

    Well, if he was a professed PUA, he had it down okay, but was a little long in the tooth. As much of a douchebag as other people may think he is, he's doing the right thing for the most part: he's not getting all hung up over this girl and he's being firm about the expectations he has of women he is involved with. He's right that if a girl gives him her card and says call me, and then never returns calls, that's an inconsiderate thing to do, perhaps even passive aggressive as he puts it.

  28. this is fucking GAYYYYYYYYY!!! Says:

    THIS DOUCHE BAG SHOULD DIEEEEEEEEE. WHAT A FUCKING GAY FAGOT. JESUS CHRIST. IF U WANT A GIRL U DONT TELL HER WHAT TO DO. DUMBASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

  29. Guyverunit1 Says:

    Very fagtastic. He should be a hoe if he is approached so much. Hahahahaha what a gaymo very desperate. I am working on a script in my parents basement called captain gay and the bootie bunch.

  30. charlie CD Says:

    He is in San Fran Hmm A few greeks never leave their friends behind

  31. Shane Says:

    I've met this guy - he's called "Dimitri the Lover" - he's been doing this type of thing for at least 5 years now. He's a kind of 'reality performance artist' - he's made the conscious decision to be the biggest, absolute throbbing veined, over-the-top, larger than life, complete and utter misogynistic, creepy, asshole to women that he could possibly be. He goes out of his way to be everything that women purport to hate, and find unattractive in a potential mate; and consequently gets more pussy than anyone I ever met. All the smarter women that realize or are made aware of what he's doing play along with him when around women they don't like - playing him up as a 'sex god', He goes out clubbing and never pays for anything, fucks women in bathrooms, gets blow jobs in cabs and so on - and does it all while being the biggest fucking prick to women too stupid to realize what he's doing. He never lies about what he is, and gives them all sorts of opportunities to walk away, but for some strange reason loads of women are drawn to his particular brand of 'bad boy' image, and seem to get off on being treated like total shit. And he's actually not very attractive, he's just got the biggest set of cajoles on the planet.

  32. Fake Says:

    This has to be fake, no one can be that much of a jackass.

  33. Emmanuel Says:

    Alas, men like that are a dime a dozen. Most are less obvious, but they're never hard to find.

  34. Cracking Up Says:

    I barely every post comments, but this guys douche-nozzlery is so astounding that I had to write something. I'll work on that after I'm done laughing...

    Do women actually date faggots like this?

  35. Spanky Says:

    I can relate. I have been turned down by hundreds of women. How was I to know that they were all passive aggressive lesions.

  36. spanky Says:

    I meant lesbians.

  37. Cholnia Says:

    i would like to see how he look like

  38. anoNYmous Says:

    there was nothin better than readin these comments!!!!!

    No wonder he is "completely single"

  39. bigZ Says:

    ... its not in san Fransisco its Toronto the area code is 416 thats Toronto's area code and this guy is really desperate and really full of himself what a dick lmao asshole

  40. Jewel Ferraro Says:

    HAHAHA! LOL, no wonder he's a jackass, he's Greek. Don't touch that shit with a ten-foot pole girl! They are uncultured savages who do not know how to treat women.

  41. Says:

    I dated Dimitri for a year and believe it or not.. Hes treated me with all respect, and was wonderful to me. Everyone seems to think he treats woman like crap hes completely opposite.. Total gentleman, very intelligent, and very giving and kind. Thats all I have to say... Obviously you dont know the truth.

  42. Says:

    And by the way, Im a very secure woman. I dont date men that treat me with disrespect or try to control me. Its funny reading the comments of people who dont even no him..

    Dimitris X

  43. Eli Says:

    Wats fuckin wrong with you ppl? Why are u cursing the guy? he is fine and said nothing wrong (technically).

  44. Chris Says:

    I wanna punch him in the face

  45. Deedee Says:

    Hey, anonymous at 8:34 and 8:39.... I mean, HI DIMITRI

    No, man, you totally suck. Like, you do. Just do yourself a favor and kill yourself. I know you don't think it's sad that you have to leave moronic self-deprecating messages to people and that you need to leave messages pretending to be women everywhere. But once you realize what you've done, you're gonna want to end your life.

    So do it, dude. Better sooner than later.

  46. Demitry Says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH i wish i had the skills to talk to ladies like that, I wouldnt still be a virgin :(

  47. lmaonade Says:

    That guy is the man, and no one should ever tell him otherwise.

  48. mike Says:

    I guess the very fact that the message was put online means this girl didn't by his retarded act. The guy should walk in front of a passive aggressive bus.

  49. James Says:

    That was kind of a let down. From the title, I thought this was going to be a whole lot worse.. like he was going to keep calling back 7 or 8 times. It simply sounds like a guy with a big ego, but it wasn't as bad as I was expecting.

  50. gangcontrol Says:

    haha douche

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