In all my years of studying douchebaggery, never have i encountered anything like this. It's such pure and unadulterated douche that I wish I could bottle it and use just a drop of it at a time.
The back story on this is that a girl named Olga was out with her friends in the Marina district of San Francisco (known for being a popular hang out for douches), and she talked to this guy named Dmitri for all of two minutes. Then she gave him her card and said "give me a call." The above is the messages he left. Listen to the whole thing, it just keeps getting better and better. I won't even tell you my favorite parts because i don't want to ruin anything. Just listen.
He really qualifies as more of an enema type. If I were her, I really believe I would have taken the reigns on this one just for one date for a few more laughs. Unbelievable....
Sad thing is that I've dated a guy like that. He is always flaunting his money, and his intelligence. And he thinks it's perfectly acceptable to tell someone that they would be a knock-out if they lost weight, and offer to buy them nice clothes so they can be seen with him. Or ask them to wear their hair in a certain way to make them more attractive. He always talks about his physique, and how much exercise he does to make himself more attractive. It's ridiculous. And for those of you who are laughing. you wouldn't laugh if it was you having to deal with them!
After much analysis of the audio file, with vocal enhancement and pressured speech and stress factors taken into account, I have concluded that this "Dmitri" (if that is his real name), is in fact, a bag of douche. In fact, it could be argued that he has reached an "enlightened" and "Zen Like" level of Douchebaggery that only some Tibetan monks could even aspire to. It is truely wondrous to hear
there is no such thing as a passive aggressive personality disorder. That just makes him sound like an idiot.
(reference the DSM-IV-TR if you want to double check)
It is now July 2nd and I want you to know that I am still amazing. In fact, I am told that I am truly amazing at least 10 times per day, and not always is it when I am looking at myself in the mirror. So here is the bottom line. I am sending you this last reply via the internet because I threw your number away (listen to second voicemail message). Now if you want to enjoy a lovely, romantic, and truly elegant time with me on the 4th, gazing as the fireworks shine upon my amazingness, then you need to contact me right away at bag@douche.com. Come on? Please? Seriously, my hand hurts from yanking too much, and even it is starting to reject me?! I love you, DMitri
Hey guys like Mr.X and LCK what's with the anti Greek bullshit? I agree this guy is a douche bag but you mean to tell me there are no douchebags from whatever race you come from? Give me a break...all of you who have a brain look up all of the UN sponsored surveys that consistantly show that Greeks are more sexually active and liberal than anybody else on this planet.......more so than any American or British uptight jerks....so do everyone a favour and think before you open your uneducated trailer-trash mouths!
To the above poster who said it was rude that the recipient of the message didn't call the guy back: don't you think she might have given him her number in good faith, thinking "He seems nice enough, we'll give this a shot" and then changed her mind upon receipt of that unbelievably creepy, pathetic message? Even if that guy didn't immediately set off my fuckwad radar when we met, that message would reason enough to fake my own death, Sam Israel style.
Oh ladies, everyone must know this... The more they advertise they are great in bed, the more they suck!! This man is so full of himself that he does not know how to satisfy someone else.
And this is a typical case of the spoiled man who thinks he is entitled to have the perfect everything. He will not deal with this issue that issue. People like this are the "worst catch" ever. They do not know what love is and they have difficulty accepting others for their flaws. They think they are entitled to everything and therefore will take love and relationships for granted. The only thing that makes a person a "real catch" is when he or she knows how to treasure and grow a relationship and will not take someone for granted. I'm guessing that he is dating many women at the same time and cannot ever commit. Because he is so full of himself and thinks that he is ENTITLED to perfection.
I heard the wole thing and I think I'm in love............ how could she let the best thing that ever happen to her go.................. He seemed to be very understanding.................. wait.....maye Olga spoke spanish and didn't understand him Demitri if you read this call me I'm elegant too 915-867-5309.
LOL! Douchebag? Maybe. But she'll never, ever forget him. How many guys has this girl met that she forgets two seconds later? He definitely made an impression. Some work on the technique and he might actually get laid.
OMG!!!!! this guy is completely messed up. he needs help real bad. it sounds like one of my ex-room mates rambling messages she would leave me trying to rob me of my sainty. they would be a match made in loony bin heaven.
I heard this on the radio in Atlanta, GA (USA). This guy is a complete deuche!! By the way, this whole thing went down in Toronto, Canada. And him referencing a 416 Area Code is proof to that. He's still a deuche though...
Is he effing serious?
He is WAY to into himself..maybe there is another one just like him he can date?
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHHA DOUCHEBAG!!
Whoa...this was pretty much the douchiest thing I ever heard in my entire life. He sounds like the type of guy that would beat a woman by how controlling he is. He's not a fucking catch by any means.
He's greek, and he's from Cali, so he's probably very narcissistic. Its just in their blood, they get a hard-on by looking at their own asses on the mirror.
Unfortunately, in today's world of dating which includes phoniness, arrogance, vanity and intimidation, this man's statements are considered "normal". It seems like the woman is playing the "Queen Bee Syndrome". Only those exceptionally handsome, rich and intelligent guys (tall, dark and handsome by today's media standards) who are also funny and keep me amused will be able to achieve sexual relations with me. As for the rest, a phony "call me" (which will never be returned) to keep your fantasies alive and my ego pumped up. To those of you that are shocked at his statements, this is what our dating scene has degenerated to. And we wonder why the divorce rate is 50%.
This guy is none other than "Dimitri The Lover" from Toronto and the voicemails are part of a viral marketing campagin for a movie. There's a Facebook group dedicated to this guy named the "Dimitri The Stud Alliance" at
And news flash. . . sometimes girls give guys their business cards because they are trying to be nice, but don't want to give out their cell number. This still doesn't mean they want you to call them and leave messages like this.
This guy is definitely on the loose, I was approached by him at a Winners store, He first approached me saying that he really liked what I was wearing, I politely thanked him, he turned to walk away then turned back and asked me my name, then asked me if I was single, he is extremely aggressive. He introduced himself "My name is Dimitri, I'm greek" then proceeded to try and greet me with the Euro double kiss. At this point I was very uncomfortable and backed away, his reaction was shocking, he was completely insulted, and angry. At this point he proceeded to tell me " I could never date you, something must of happened to you in your childhood, some kind of trauma" because I wouldn't let some stranger kiss me......I told hime I'd be over it in 5 seconds and that I never said that I wanted to date him.
This guy was tall, slim build, longer hair slicked back kinda wavy, and had on a black leather jacket, he looked as though he'd just gotten off of working at a restaurant in his black and white outfit.
What a CRAZY loser!
"In 1991, the College of Physicians and Surgeons received complaints from female patients of Sears. According to Justice Hugh Locke in court documents, Sears made “verbal sexual overtures” toward his patients and “sexually assaulted them by attempting to kiss and embrace them.” The records also state that Sears would compulsively masturbate by going off to the washroom in between patients.[3] Sears pled guilty in 1992 to two counts of sexual assault and was stripped of his medical license the following year."
This was too funny...I can't believe there are men out there talking like that (if he's for real). In any case, real or not, sounds like a couple of greeks I know
here in Montreal...which DO talk that way!
(1342 Comments)
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
July 1st, 2008 at 11:30 am
i'm a therapist, for the record there's no such thing as passive-aggressive personality disorder.
he gave her a fucking 3'o clock deadline to calling her back! AAAAHahahhaahahaaa....
July 1st, 2008 at 11:58 am
At first I hated the guy. Then it grew into love. True love. I was sorry the show ended. I was ready for more.
July 1st, 2008 at 12:34 pm
He really qualifies as more of an enema type. If I were her, I really believe I would have taken the reigns on this one just for one date for a few more laughs. Unbelievable....
July 1st, 2008 at 01:32 pm
Photoshopped
July 1st, 2008 at 01:36 pm
My definition of a "catch" and his must be on total different ends of the spectrum!!! What a loser!!!!
July 1st, 2008 at 02:14 pm
Sad thing is that I've dated a guy like that. He is always flaunting his money, and his intelligence. And he thinks it's perfectly acceptable to tell someone that they would be a knock-out if they lost weight, and offer to buy them nice clothes so they can be seen with him. Or ask them to wear their hair in a certain way to make them more attractive. He always talks about his physique, and how much exercise he does to make himself more attractive. It's ridiculous. And for those of you who are laughing. you wouldn't laugh if it was you having to deal with them!
July 1st, 2008 at 02:28 pm
ass.
www.eatabigone.blogspot.com
July 1st, 2008 at 02:35 pm
After much analysis of the audio file, with vocal enhancement and pressured speech and stress factors taken into account, I have concluded that this "Dmitri" (if that is his real name), is in fact, a bag of douche. In fact, it could be argued that he has reached an "enlightened" and "Zen Like" level of Douchebaggery that only some Tibetan monks could even aspire to. It is truely wondrous to hear
July 1st, 2008 at 03:02 pm
there is no such thing as a passive aggressive personality disorder. That just makes him sound like an idiot.
(reference the DSM-IV-TR if you want to double check)
July 1st, 2008 at 04:18 pm
Olga;
It is now July 2nd and I want you to know that I am still amazing. In fact, I am told that I am truly amazing at least 10 times per day, and not always is it when I am looking at myself in the mirror. So here is the bottom line. I am sending you this last reply via the internet because I threw your number away (listen to second voicemail message). Now if you want to enjoy a lovely, romantic, and truly elegant time with me on the 4th, gazing as the fireworks shine upon my amazingness, then you need to contact me right away at bag@douche.com. Come on? Please? Seriously, my hand hurts from yanking too much, and even it is starting to reject me?! I love you, DMitri
July 1st, 2008 at 04:20 pm
Hey guys like Mr.X and LCK what's with the anti Greek bullshit? I agree this guy is a douche bag but you mean to tell me there are no douchebags from whatever race you come from? Give me a break...all of you who have a brain look up all of the UN sponsored surveys that consistantly show that Greeks are more sexually active and liberal than anybody else on this planet.......more so than any American or British uptight jerks....so do everyone a favour and think before you open your uneducated trailer-trash mouths!
July 1st, 2008 at 04:23 pm
That guy needs to move to the Castro b/c he is definitely in major denial.. and then he needs to kill himself!
July 1st, 2008 at 04:31 pm
The background story says San Fran - Dmirtis # is 416 - Toronto Ontario Canada - This guy is a Danforth Ave Douchebag - The worst kind!
July 1st, 2008 at 05:48 pm
he gives greeks a bad name
July 1st, 2008 at 06:17 pm
omg, that was awesome on so many levels!!! WOW!!! fake or not..
July 1st, 2008 at 06:24 pm
Fake.
July 1st, 2008 at 06:25 pm
I think he's into bum sex with hairy dudes in thongs and this is all a front.
July 1st, 2008 at 06:33 pm
To the above poster who said it was rude that the recipient of the message didn't call the guy back: don't you think she might have given him her number in good faith, thinking "He seems nice enough, we'll give this a shot" and then changed her mind upon receipt of that unbelievably creepy, pathetic message? Even if that guy didn't immediately set off my fuckwad radar when we met, that message would reason enough to fake my own death, Sam Israel style.
July 1st, 2008 at 06:49 pm
That is hillarious, but I cannot imagine that any one person is such a dooosh.
Its got to be fake.
July 1st, 2008 at 07:02 pm
This has got to be a joke of some kind! On the other hand. . . who could make this up?
July 1st, 2008 at 07:51 pm
Oh ladies, everyone must know this... The more they advertise they are great in bed, the more they suck!! This man is so full of himself that he does not know how to satisfy someone else.
And this is a typical case of the spoiled man who thinks he is entitled to have the perfect everything. He will not deal with this issue that issue. People like this are the "worst catch" ever. They do not know what love is and they have difficulty accepting others for their flaws. They think they are entitled to everything and therefore will take love and relationships for granted. The only thing that makes a person a "real catch" is when he or she knows how to treasure and grow a relationship and will not take someone for granted. I'm guessing that he is dating many women at the same time and cannot ever commit. Because he is so full of himself and thinks that he is ENTITLED to perfection.
July 1st, 2008 at 08:00 pm
I am one of the few men in the city who has nothing wrong with him!!! LOL and ROTF!!!! hahahahahahahahahahahaha :D
July 1st, 2008 at 08:08 pm
Hm, seems like someone studied the Mystery Method and got stuck in the "negging" section. What a douchebag. Even if it is a fake, nicely done.
July 1st, 2008 at 08:36 pm
wow this guy is complete douchbag there is something seriously wrong with him someone just needs to beat his ass
July 1st, 2008 at 08:47 pm
The sad thing is, that all made perfect and logical sense to him. Seriously, who could resist this guy?
July 1st, 2008 at 08:50 pm
I heard the wole thing and I think I'm in love............ how could she let the best thing that ever happen to her go.................. He seemed to be very understanding.................. wait.....maye Olga spoke spanish and didn't understand him Demitri if you read this call me I'm elegant too 915-867-5309.
July 1st, 2008 at 08:53 pm
Sounds like the guy- If I ever get divoced, that would end up with my future ex-wife.
Wait, does mean I'm a douche also?
July 1st, 2008 at 09:53 pm
LOL! Douchebag? Maybe. But she'll never, ever forget him. How many guys has this girl met that she forgets two seconds later? He definitely made an impression. Some work on the technique and he might actually get laid.
July 1st, 2008 at 10:12 pm
OMG!!!!! this guy is completely messed up. he needs help real bad. it sounds like one of my ex-room mates rambling messages she would leave me trying to rob me of my sainty. they would be a match made in loony bin heaven.
July 1st, 2008 at 10:29 pm
I heard this on the radio in Atlanta, GA (USA). This guy is a complete deuche!! By the way, this whole thing went down in Toronto, Canada. And him referencing a 416 Area Code is proof to that. He's still a deuche though...
October 29th, 2008 at 06:56 pm
Is he effing serious?
He is WAY to into himself..maybe there is another one just like him he can date?
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHHA DOUCHEBAG!!
October 30th, 2008 at 07:00 am
Whoa...this was pretty much the douchiest thing I ever heard in my entire life. He sounds like the type of guy that would beat a woman by how controlling he is. He's not a fucking catch by any means.
October 30th, 2008 at 02:23 pm
He's greek, and he's from Cali, so he's probably very narcissistic. Its just in their blood, they get a hard-on by looking at their own asses on the mirror.
November 1st, 2008 at 05:18 am
Unfortunately, in today's world of dating which includes phoniness, arrogance, vanity and intimidation, this man's statements are considered "normal". It seems like the woman is playing the "Queen Bee Syndrome". Only those exceptionally handsome, rich and intelligent guys (tall, dark and handsome by today's media standards) who are also funny and keep me amused will be able to achieve sexual relations with me. As for the rest, a phony "call me" (which will never be returned) to keep your fantasies alive and my ego pumped up. To those of you that are shocked at his statements, this is what our dating scene has degenerated to. And we wonder why the divorce rate is 50%.
November 1st, 2008 at 08:39 am
This guy is none other than "Dimitri The Lover" from Toronto and the voicemails are part of a viral marketing campagin for a movie. There's a Facebook group dedicated to this guy named the "Dimitri The Stud Alliance" at
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=20768712892&ref=ts
There's a picture of him there too. He's actually pretty sexy looking.
November 2nd, 2008 at 10:31 am
What the heck....
Self cenetered lunatic is an understatment..
November 2nd, 2008 at 12:42 pm
lmao...and he's from toronto
...and how come his first message was so long??
and omg! dis guy gave her a time and date to call him lmfao
abused in childhood?mother has cancer??w=o=w...he cannot be serious..does he really expect her to call him after all that?
November 4th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
Wow. I thought this was a joke.
And news flash. . . sometimes girls give guys their business cards because they are trying to be nice, but don't want to give out their cell number. This still doesn't mean they want you to call them and leave messages like this.
January 18th, 2009 at 07:05 pm
what an IDIOT!!
January 18th, 2009 at 07:00 pm
wow this guy is def a douche and hes WAAAYYY too full of himself.. like who the hell says things like that
February 8th, 2009 at 04:20 pm
This guy is definitely on the loose, I was approached by him at a Winners store, He first approached me saying that he really liked what I was wearing, I politely thanked him, he turned to walk away then turned back and asked me my name, then asked me if I was single, he is extremely aggressive. He introduced himself "My name is Dimitri, I'm greek" then proceeded to try and greet me with the Euro double kiss. At this point I was very uncomfortable and backed away, his reaction was shocking, he was completely insulted, and angry. At this point he proceeded to tell me " I could never date you, something must of happened to you in your childhood, some kind of trauma" because I wouldn't let some stranger kiss me......I told hime I'd be over it in 5 seconds and that I never said that I wanted to date him.
This guy was tall, slim build, longer hair slicked back kinda wavy, and had on a black leather jacket, he looked as though he'd just gotten off of working at a restaurant in his black and white outfit.
What a CRAZY loser!
February 26th, 2009 at 10:37 am
propecia spread
April 7th, 2009 at 01:43 am
wow thats kinda scary.. stalkerish
March 3rd, 2009 at 06:54 pm
all i can say is wow... what a dumbass how does he even think this is acceptable to say to someone? people like this need to get help
March 5th, 2009 at 08:08 am
Demetri got caught out there, this was no prank... So don't make him into anything but, an idiot... IDIOT
LEARN WHEN TO S.T.F.U.
March 27th, 2009 at 11:03 am
Is he a bigger Douche than Mystery? Probably, if only because he's greek...
This guys a pretty big douche too:
http://www.digitalfuntown.com/videos/158
March 27th, 2009 at 09:36 am
"In 1991, the College of Physicians and Surgeons received complaints from female patients of Sears. According to Justice Hugh Locke in court documents, Sears made “verbal sexual overtures” toward his patients and “sexually assaulted them by attempting to kiss and embrace them.” The records also state that Sears would compulsively masturbate by going off to the washroom in between patients.[3] Sears pled guilty in 1992 to two counts of sexual assault and was stripped of his medical license the following year."
Dimitri the SELF lover, amirite?
March 27th, 2009 at 03:21 pm
I hope this woman's brother finds Dimitri and beats the shit out of just for thinking about hooking up with her.
True Douchery in it's purest form.
I am embarassed for every Y chromosone on the planet.
March 27th, 2009 at 11:00 am
Man I wish you didn't leave out his phone number...I would love to call him! haha. That's hilarious!
May 2nd, 2009 at 06:36 pm
This was too funny...I can't believe there are men out there talking like that (if he's for real). In any case, real or not, sounds like a couple of greeks I know
here in Montreal...which DO talk that way!
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