A-Rod Doubles Off Madonna's Wall

I'm guessing sex with Alex Rodriguez probably goes a little like this: He starts out with some strong foreplay, maybe some nipple pinching, and the girl gets really excited. Then when he starts humping, the girl is like "you know, I am definitely going to have an orgasm, this is awesome." Then right at the end, when it counts the most, he loses his boner and gives a really confused look, then pulls out. When she tries to ask him why, he says "You know, I think I was just pressing. It's a tough situation. You wish it could turn out better, but you just have to wait until next time." I may never know, but it seems I could ask Madonna. Usmagazine.com reports:

New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez was at Madonna's Central Park West apartment in New York City shortly after his wife gave birth to their second daughter, Usmagazine.com has learned.

A source tells Us Weekly that Madonna has been hosting late night visits from Rodriguez at her spacious home and he would sneak out "as late as midnight."

He went to Madonna's right after his kid was born? Okay, that looks bad, but maybe it's not what you think. Like, what if he was supposed to feed that new born baby to Madonna so that she could maintain her youthful appearance, then he had second thoughts and showed up to her house and she was like, in flames and writhing around like those weird oracle chicks in that movie 300 and she was like "WHERE IS THE CHILD SO I CAN FEED ON ITS SOUL?" Then Alex was like "No, I'm not giving it you! I changed my mind!" and she's like "You fool! Then our agreement is no longer and your incredibly, INCREDIBLY, shitty play in October playoff games shall continue!" and then she cackled loudly then disappeared into a puff of smoke.

Or maybe he's just cheating on his wife with Madonna. I mean, I think he's capable of cheating. Take a look at this baseball card I bought back in his Seattle Mariners days: