Gwyneth's Apple Dresses Up Her Moses

July 8th, 2008 | 10:17 pm

I never had any sisters, so I never experienced the whole "hey let's dress our little brother up in girls clothes and put make up on him." Instead I had two older brothers and experienced the "Hey, let's tie our little brother up to the orange tree in the backyard and throw water balloons filled with our urine, at him." According to people.com, Gwyneth Paltrow's baby Moses gets the cross dressing treatment, not the urine one.

At 4, Gwyneth Paltrow's daughter Apple loves to play dress-up – and she isn't shy about getting her 2-year-old brother Moses in on the act.

"She makes [Moses] cross-dress,"
See, that's not okay with me.  Kids need to learn discipline.  Is it okay in adult life to dress a man up as a woman?  No!  Not unless you pay that man 500 dollars an hour.  See, I think Gwyneth should punish little Apple by dressing her up in an embarrassing costume.  If I was Chris Martin, a)I'd be a total douche who plays shit music and b)next time you saw Gwyneth and Apple out, it'd look like this:

5 Responses to "Gwyneth's Apple Dresses Up Her Moses"

  1. </a></cite> Says: <br> <small class="commentmetadata"><a href="/2008/07/09/gwyneths-apple-dresses-up-her-moses/#comment-597984" title="">May 13th, 2009 at 11:11 am</a> </small> <p>Hi. God creates men, but they choose each other.<br /> I am from Tonga and too poorly know English, tell me right I wrote the following sentence: "Renault logan new hatchback variant, sandero, makes its first appearance on even avtovaz, the dominant but struggling russian carmaker that recently came.On monday, the board of directors approved the reduction as soon avtovaz nine vice presidents of the plant."</p> <p>Thank you so much for your future answers 8). Royce.</p> <div class="links"> <ul class="links"><li class="first last "><a href="/"><a href="/user/login?destination=node/2384%2523comment-form">Login</a> or <a href="/user/register?destination=node/2384%2523comment-form">register</a> to post comments</a></li></ul> </div> </li> </div></div> <!-- /comment-inner, /comment --> <a id="comment-14208"></a> <a id="comment-14208"></a> <div class="comment "><div class="comment-inner"> <li class="" id="comment-14208"> <cite> <a href="http://bojangles.com" rel="external nofollow">Pratik</a></cite> Says: <br> <small class="commentmetadata"><a href="/2008/07/09/gwyneths-apple-dresses-up-her-moses/#comment-14208" title="">July 9th, 2008 at 02:01 pm</a> </small> <p>For the last time... they are NOT fucking toys. And can you imagine the shit that little Apple is going to take in middle and high school? I don't care whose son you are; they'll be calling you a fruit in about a week.</p> <div class="links"> <ul class="links"><li class="first last "><a href="/"><a href="/user/login?destination=node/2384%2523comment-form">Login</a> or <a href="/user/register?destination=node/2384%2523comment-form">register</a> to post comments</a></li></ul> </div> </li> </div></div> <!-- /comment-inner, /comment --> <a id="comment-14207"></a> <a id="comment-14207"></a> <div class="comment "><div class="comment-inner"> <li class="alt" id="comment-14207"> <cite> j-leo</cite> Says: <br> <small class="commentmetadata"><a href="/2008/07/09/gwyneths-apple-dresses-up-her-moses/#comment-14207" title="">July 9th, 2008 at 01:23 pm</a> </small> <p>I hate this traitorous bitch. I wish she'd never set her size 14's in the States ever again. While your at it take that no-talent inbred freak your married to and drown yourslves.</p> <div class="links"> <ul class="links"><li class="first last "><a href="/"><a href="/user/login?destination=node/2384%2523comment-form">Login</a> or <a href="/user/register?destination=node/2384%2523comment-form">register</a> to post comments</a></li></ul> </div> </li> </div></div> <!-- /comment-inner, /comment --> <a id="comment-14206"></a> <a id="comment-14206"></a> <div class="comment "><div class="comment-inner"> <li class="" id="comment-14206"> <cite> <a href="http://kwanzoo.com/social-trivia" rel="external nofollow">L</a></cite> Says: <br> <small class="commentmetadata"><a href="/2008/07/09/gwyneths-apple-dresses-up-her-moses/#comment-14206" title="">July 9th, 2008 at 04:31 am</a> </small> <p>Little Apple is merely resorting to that staple of European humor, a man in a dress. Sure, the British Empire fell, but they still seem to be doing okay, culturally, over there. Moses could do worse.</p> <div class="links"> <ul class="links"><li class="first last "><a href="/"><a href="/user/login?destination=node/2384%2523comment-form">Login</a> or <a href="/user/register?destination=node/2384%2523comment-form">register</a> to post comments</a></li></ul> </div> </li> </div></div> <!-- /comment-inner, /comment --> <a id="comment-14205"></a> <a id="comment-14205"></a> <div class="comment "><div class="comment-inner"> <li class="alt" id="comment-14205"> <cite> <a href="http://www.muchosucko.com" rel="external nofollow">Ben</a></cite> Says: <br> <small class="commentmetadata"><a href="/2008/07/09/gwyneths-apple-dresses-up-her-moses/#comment-14205" title="">July 8th, 2008 at 11:39 pm</a> </small> <p>wow.. i love this web page whoever the writers are on this site, they need a pat on the back you guys deliver day in and day out. High five!</p> <div class="links"> <ul class="links"><li class="first last "><a href="/"><a href="/user/login?destination=node/2384%2523comment-form">Login</a> or <a href="/user/register?destination=node/2384%2523comment-form">register</a> to post comments</a></li></ul> </div> </li> </div></div> <!-- /comment-inner, /comment --> </ol> </div> </div> <!-- Right column --> <div id="column-right"> <div class="block"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> ord=Math.random()*10000000000000000; document.write('<script language="JavaScript" src="http://ad.doubleclick.net/adj/brk.ht/home;sz=300x250;ord=' + ord + '?" type="text/javascript"></scr' + 'ipt>'); </script><noscript><a href="http://ad.doubleclick.net/jump/brk.ht/home;sz=300x250;ord=123456789?" target="_blank"><img src="http://ad.doubleclick.net/ad/brk.ht/home;sz=300x250;ord=123456789?" width="300" height="250" border="0"></a></noscript></div><div class="block"> <div class="heading"><a href="/photos"><img src="http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/sites/default/themes/holytaco2/images/headings/photo-of-the-day.gif" style="width: 176px; 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