July 13th, 2008 | 12:19
Age: 33
Where you've seen her: Jesus, Angelina Jolie is just about everywhere. From her new crappy movie about assassins who can make bullets curve to breast feeding every orphan on the Serengeti, if you've been alive in the last five years, you've seen Angelina Jolie.
MILF status: Despite already having adopted 2/3rds of the world's children, Angelina just gave birth to two more. Twins named Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline. The photos of these two new babies are expected to fetch up to $20 million. Which makes total sense, because all babies look really really different.
Pointless quote: "I love to put on lotion. Sometimes I'll watch TV and go into a lotion trance for an hour. I try to find brands that don't taste bad in case anyone wants to taste me."
![](mailto:?subject=Angelina Jolie&body=<p><a href='http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/angelina_jolie_sexy_milf_sex_11.jpg'><img src="http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/angelina_jolie_sexy_milf_sex_11.jpg" alt="" title="angelina_jolie_sexy_milf_sex_11" width="500" height="374" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-2651" /></a></p>
<p><strong>Age:</strong> 33</p>
<p><strong>Where you've seen her:</strong> Jesus, <a href="http://www.chickipedia.com/angelina-jolie/" target="blank"><strong>Angelina Jolie</strong></a> is just about everywhere. From her new crappy movie about assassins who can make bullets curve to breast feeding every orphan on the Serengeti, if you've been alive in the last five years, you've seen Angelina Jolie.</p>
<p><strong>MILF status:</strong> Despite already having adopted 2/3rds of the world's children, Angelina just gave birth to two more. Twins named Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline. The photos of these two new babies are expected to fetch up to $20 million. Which makes total sense, because all babies look really really different.</p>
<p><strong>Pointless quote:</strong> "I love to put on lotion. Sometimes I'll watch TV and go into a lotion trance for an hour. I try to find brands that don't taste bad in case anyone wants to taste me."</p>
<p><a href='http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/angelina_jolie_sexy_milf_sex_31.jpg'><img src="http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/angelina_jolie_sexy_milf_sex_31-150x150.jpg" alt="" title="angelina_jolie_sexy_milf_sex_31" width="150" height="150" class="alignnone size-thumbnail wp-image-2652" /></a> <a href='http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/angelina_jolie_sexy_milf_sex_1.jpg'><img src="http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/angelina_jolie_sexy_milf_sex_1-150x150.jpg" alt="" title="angelina_jolie_sexy_milf_sex_1" width="150" height="150" class="alignnone size-thumbnail wp-image-2642" /></a> <a href='http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/angelina_jolie_sexy_milf_sex_2.jpg'><img src="http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/angelina_jolie_sexy_milf_sex_2-150x150.jpg" alt="" title="angelina_jolie_sexy_milf_sex_2" width="150" height="150" class="alignnone size-thumbnail wp-image-2643" /></a> <a href='http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/angelina_jolie_sexy_milf_sex_4.jpg'><img src="http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/angelina_jolie_sexy_milf_sex_4-150x150.jpg" alt="" title="angelina_jolie_sexy_milf_sex_4" width="150" height="150" class="alignnone size-thumbnail wp-image-2644" /></a> <a href='http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/angelina_jolie_sexy_milf_sex_5.jpg'><img src="http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/angelina_jolie_sexy_milf_sex_5-150x150.jpg" alt="" title="angelina_jolie_sexy_milf_sex_5" width="150" height="150" class="alignnone size-thumbnail wp-image-2645" /></a> <a href='http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/angelina_jolie_sexy_milf_sex_6.jpg'><img src="http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/angelina_jolie_sexy_milf_sex_6-150x150.jpg" alt="" title="angelina_jolie_sexy_milf_sex_6" width="150" height="150" class="alignnone size-thumbnail wp-image-2646" /></a> <a href='http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/angelina_jolie_sexy_milf_sex_7.jpg'><img src="http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/angelina_jolie_sexy_milf_sex_7-150x150.jpg" alt="" title="angelina_jolie_sexy_milf_sex_7" width="150" height="150" class="alignnone size-thumbnail wp-image-2647" /></a> <a href='http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/angelina_jolie_sexy_milf_sex_8.jpg'><img src="http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/angelina_jolie_sexy_milf_sex_8-150x150.jpg" alt="" title="angelina_jolie_sexy_milf_sex_8" width="150" height="150" class="alignnone size-thumbnail wp-image-2648" /></a> <a href='http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/angelina_jolie_sexy_milf_sex_9.jpg'><img src="http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/angelina_jolie_sexy_milf_sex_9-150x150.jpg" alt="" title="angelina_jolie_sexy_milf_sex_9" width="150" height="150" class="alignnone size-thumbnail wp-image-2649" /></a> <a href='http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/angelina_jolie_sexy_milf_sex_10.jpg'><img src="http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/angelina_jolie_sexy_milf_sex_10-150x150.jpg" alt="" title="angelina_jolie_sexy_milf_sex_10" width="150" height="150" class="alignnone size-thumbnail wp-image-2650" /></a></p>
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(5)
July fth, 2008 at 12:21 pm
SillyPutty, that's because you don't have a penis, or you only use it for peeing.
July fth, 2008 at 07:49 pm
"...breast feeding every orphan on the Serengeti."
My god, you've outdone yourself HolyTaco. If I had some old tee-shirts to give away I'd definitely mail you guys one for greatest comment of the year award. And while I'm sucking your asses about how funny your comment is, I'll forget to send you your tee-shirts like you forgot to send me mine.
July fth, 2008 at 04:00 pm
"I try to find brands that don’t taste bad in case anyone wants to taste me.” Uhm do I need to line up or take a number? Please direct me to the Angelina Jolie tasting booth?
July fth, 2008 at 02:17 pm
The last part of that quote isn't so pointless.
July fth, 2008 at 01:47 pm
I have never understood the infatuation with this woman.
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