Jennifer Garner is a Buttertoe

(Via TMZ)

You know how everybody hates a part of their body, like say that patch of loose skin shaped like a vagina that runs vertical beside your penis and gets all tingly when the UPS man comes into the office? Just speaking hypothetically, of course. My point is that everybody has something weird on their body, but fortunately it's not a freak of a toe with a mind of it's own like Jennifer Garner's. What the hell is up with that thing? It's like when your jock slips out of the hole in your boxers while you're walking down the street and...okay, it's nothing like that.

I'll be the first to admit that my toes are a disaster. First of all, the second toe is like a half inch longer than my big toe and my middle toe is smaller than my pinkie toe, so my footprint looks like a yeti's after a chainsaw accident. Second, my toenails are so jagged they once severed the leg of a dog I happened to walk by while barefoot (Ladies, the bidding for me starts at $500!). However, never has any of my toes run independent of the others and started climbing over my foot like that spider thing in the Alien movies.

Could be worse, though. The Toe Show could be transported to her mouth, like say, Jewel.