July 20th, 2008 | 05:18

Once when I was in college, my 37 year old cousin who's fiancee had just left him, talked me into letting him come with me to a party my 18 year old neighbors were throwing.  About 3 minutes in he jumped into a conversation a group of people were having and started quoting Dan Akroyd sketches from the first season of Saturday Night Live. As he grabbed my shoulder and told a group of 19 year old girls that he and I were "two wiiild and craazzzy guys!" I realized maybe he didn't fit in and bringing him was a mistake. Who ever brought Jessica Simpson to country music venues probably realized that too. Usmagazine.com reports:

Audiences booed and clapped as [Jessica Simpson], 28, opened for Sara Evans on Saturday at the Country Thunder USA festival in Randall, Wisconsin.

Simpson told the crowd. "I'm just like you. I'm doing what I love and dating a boy."

I like how she thinks doing what she loves and dating a boy make her just like them. I wonder if when she said that, everyone just looked at each other really confused, except for some weird looking guy in the back with a mustache and a pocket full of candy who was like "Holy shit, Jessica Simpson IS just like me."

I have a feeling she's going to do whatever she thinks it takes to fit in with country fans, seeing as how that's her last shot. Don't be surprised if we see this at her next concert:

EDITOR'S NOTE: Special Thanks to Kipp Tribble for filling in for guest editing for me all last week when I was on vacation.

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3 Responses to "Even Country Music Thinks Jessica Simpson Sucks"

  1. Eli Says:

    Jessica Simpson can suck me any time.

  2. Pratik Says:

    So, just wondering... who thought it was a good idea to let her sing in the first place? Oh wait, must be Papa Joe hard at work again. I guess he wants to upgrade from a silver to platinum toilet, so he does something like this.

    I'm sure there's some poor singer somewhere out there with real talent who got passed on so they could make space for Jessica on a record label.

  3. Butty Ice Says:

    How is her hand going through the stock?

    My butt is cold.

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