Rumors have been circulating that Top Gun will soon have a sequel made, however, Tom Cruise will NOT be reprising his role as Maverick.
A spokesperson for Paramount says there is "no way" Cruise would be getting the lead role again.
You can't have Top Gun without Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise is Top Gun! That would be like my girlfriend saying "Let's have sex again, but this time I'm going to use someone else's penis."
I saw Top Gun when I was six with my two older brothers, in a sold out theater with a bunch of military dudes in San Diego. When we left the theater my oldest brother goes "I got the need for speed! F*&k yeah, that movie was awesome!," and then my other brother goes "Dude, that movie was f*&kin' homo." Then they started punching each other and one of them picked me up and used me as a shield. But you know what? They were both right.
No other movie before or after Top Gun, has managed to please the most redneck, testosterone filled dudes, yet be so incredibly homoerotic at the same time. It's some unexplainable phenomenon like Stone Henge, or John Mayer's career. Thus, any attempt at remaking Top Gun will fall short in my opinion. And the only chance they'd have to recreate the perfect macho gay storm as they did in the first, is to have Tom Cruise be in it. So now that they're not, I think they should go in a completely different sequel direction. Maybe something like this:
A few years ago when a certain crappy and gay movie came out, somebody did a video called "Top Gun 2: The Brokeback Squadron". Maybe that's the movie Lil Tommy wanted to make.
(6 Comments)
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
July 22nd, 2008 at 09:19 pm
You know, you are absolutely correct.
I AM Top Gun.
And I am the only actor gay-but-straight enough to pull it off.
However, your little comic book stunt was not amusing.
Your comments have only slightly diminished the wrath headed your way, Taco Boys.
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:37 am
LoL this site is awesome
July 23rd, 2008 at 04:09 pm
Who gives a rats ass about Tom. I am glad he's not in it.
July 24th, 2008 at 05:53 pm
I bet they asked Tom Cruise if he would like to be involved, but he declined because planes don't have anything to do with scientology.
July 25th, 2008 at 01:56 am
A few years ago when a certain crappy and gay movie came out, somebody did a video called "Top Gun 2: The Brokeback Squadron". Maybe that's the movie Lil Tommy wanted to make.
July 29th, 2008 at 07:53 am
Planes do have a role in scientology... Xenu brought billions of people with some boeing-like spacecrafts
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