July 27th, 2008 | 06:32
Getting behind the wheel of a car when you're wasted is one of the stupidest things you can do. But some people still do it. So when the cops pull them over, we are given a reality show that's better than all the Real Worlds, Osbournes and Fear Factor's combined. In honor of Shia Leboeuf's recent entrance into the "idiots who drive while wasted" hall of shame, here are five Oscar-worthy performances.
Drunk Test - Watch more free videos
5. If you're going down on the pavement, make sure you don't use your hands, arms or shoulders to soften the blow. Your head is a great way to break that fall.
drunk driver at police station - Watch more free videos
4. Note to wasted idiots everywhere: If you drop your license, let the officer pick it up. But, if you do decide to pick it up, make sure your ass crack is showing and you make a nice sighing noise as your head goes through the wall.
This guy's nuts itch - Watch more free videos
3. Congress should add an amendment to the breathalyzer law that states that if your nuts do indeed itch, then you will be entitled to postpone your breathalyzer until both of your nuts can be sufficiently scratched, either by law enforcement or your own free will.
Lawn Mower DUI - Watch more free videos
2. Even if he didn't think that driving a lawn mower while intoxicated was against the law, he probably had a pretty good idea that pissing in a cop's face was at least a misdemeanor.
This Man Is Drunk and he has a lot to say - Watch more free videos
1. As you can see, if you're pulled over for something you clearly didn't do, just calmly scream into the camera and at the faces of the nearby police officers. They're bound to see their mistake and let you go on your way.
Funny DUI - Watch more free videos
BONUS DRUNK: This is from Reno 911, so while this technically isn't "real," it's still "really funny."
(34)
August fth, 2008 at 09:35 pm
Hey...FUCK dismuddafuckin SHIT!! FUCK BOTHA YALL!!!
August fth, 2008 at 12:07 pm
This is about the guy on the lawnmower. Funny as hell, "my wife is gonna' kick your ass!" Bet that scared the shit out of the cop! :-)
August fth, 2008 at 07:30 am
This was Boring - I'd rather go and have a Wank !!
August frd, 2008 at 11:51 am
At all you american motha fukers.
August fst, 2008 at 09:59 pm
LMAO THATS HILARIOUS
July fst, 2008 at 03:58 pm
crist you yanks go on about some shit lol
July fst, 2008 at 12:20 am
HAHAHHAHA the comments are better than the videos!!!
July fth, 2008 at 11:34 pm
Kankraka, you're a fucking idiot. A motor vehicle is any vehicle propeled by energy not provided by it's rider. Some states even provide for DWI charges on BICYCLES or foot scooters.
As far as the macing of the drunk, the other guy got it right, it's a crime to expose yourself in public and if he pissed on the cop, it's a felony to piss on the cop, regardless of any injury. So if the cop thought he was about to be pissed on (I did), then he can use reasonable force to subdue. I know this because I'm a district attorney and learned everything I know from ADA John Scott the motorboating MFer.
And as far as your "corporation" rant goes...you're a fucking knob gobblin jerkoff. Go put your tinfoil hat back on and reread your USSC cases again.
July fth, 2008 at 01:30 am
1. The cop did make the guy in the first video fall.
2. That is Johnny Knoxville in the third video asking the officer to scratch his nuts, for sure.
3. The guy in the video one is definitely Samuel L. Jackson.
4. None of these people did anything illegal. The cops accosted them without warrant.
5. Josh is a retard.
July fth, 2008 at 10:16 pm
you cant drink and drive in any state that enough legal ground for ya jackass?
July fth, 2008 at 05:36 pm
Seriously the whole thing is hilarious. I think everyone is reading way too much into it. The first 5 vids are real, the last one (if you can read) is fake. It's obvious that every single one of the first 5 are drunk. I don't care how the cops prove it, just keep those people off the road so they don't kill me and everyone else.
July fth, 2008 at 05:28 pm
The guy on video #1 sounds like Samuel L Jackson
July fth, 2008 at 01:15 pm
The video labeled #1:
Why no handcuffs? (you know...."for your safety and mine")
This was a bit unnerving and leaves one to question the officers intent and credibility.
July fth, 2008 at 08:07 am
He didnt pull on the tape, what the fuck are you on about
July fth, 2008 at 12:08 am
disregard that. I suck cocks
July fth, 2008 at 10:14 pm
Actually operating a lawm mower on a state highway is illegal, and urnating in public is considered indecent exporsure and is a felony.
Before you spout of Municipal City code, check state and or local Laws, which trump City codes.
Dipshit.
July fth, 2008 at 09:51 pm
dbsandjoshareloversandsuck, you're a fucking retard. You show me in the motor vehicle act where it states he must a) have a drivers license to travel, b) insurance to travel, or c) registration to travel. You have NO idea that he is having his basic rights revoked from the moment the cop stopped him. His mode of transportation is a means of private conveyance and is not subject to any statutes under the motor vehicle act of any state or province. Neither is having a piss in public against any law, it is a statute, so is littering. While both things are asshole things to do, they are not unlawful. The cop infringed on his human rights, and assaulted him. Anyone who argues this point with me better know the difference between a law and a statute and be reminded of the fact that only corporations can be charged with any statute and since this PEACE OFFICER had no proof of this mans corporation name, or even his free human being name, was acting extremely unlawfully and should be brought to justice.
July fth, 2008 at 09:39 pm
In regards to the first video, the officer clearly placed the tape directly down on the ground infront of him. There was no pulling. The guy did not fall on his face UNTIL he placed his end of the tape on the ground. When you're drunk, your coordination and balance are off (obviously) so he just lost his.
Anyone who cannot see that needs to watch the video repeatedly up-close until they do.
July fth, 2008 at 09:20 pm
That last vid is great!! he is the man!
"iam just drunk!" -"ahhhh!!" :)
July fth, 2008 at 09:09 pm
Kinda makes you wonder if #1 really wasn't driving. He was rather convincing, and the car wasn't on a road. Coulda just been hanging out in his car outside an apartment with a girl (?) as a private place. And wtf is the point of a sobriety test when he admitted a number of times that he was drunk?
July fth, 2008 at 08:46 pm
dude, i can't believe the guy in the last video didn't get arrested for throwing 1000+ "M-F" bombs... what state was this in? today, he would have been beat and jailed for resisting...
July fth, 2008 at 08:25 pm
Wow, I guess Cops really are human after all! Who would have thunk it. LOL
JT
www.FireMe.To./udi
July fth, 2008 at 07:12 pm
Josh...you're dumb, end of story. dbs you're dumb. mace and tasers aren't designed or issues with the purpose of only a defensive tactic. If someone is refusing to comply, mace and tazers are fully authorized to subdue someone who won't listen to the officers instructions.
"I kneow mai rayts, I knoew mai rayts" Funniest thing ever
July fth, 2008 at 06:54 pm
you dumbass thats not johnny knoxville that dude has long hair and he doesnt sound anything like johnny knoxvilles "retard voice"
July fth, 2008 at 06:42 pm
"IS IT ILLEGAL TO CUT GRASS?!?!? I KNOW MY RIGHTS!!!"
July fth, 2008 at 06:34 pm
You know, the one with the guy on the lawnmower... What was the purpose of macing the guy in the face? Sure the guy was plastered, and wasn't really listening - but mace (like tasers) are used for defense, not for coercion.
The guy on the lawnmower has a pretty decent case if he chooses to pursue bits against the cop - at no point was he threatening, combative, or abusive. Dullwitted and stupid is no reason to mace a guy directly in the face.
July fth, 2008 at 06:05 pm
Number 3 is a fake video. The guy who keeps asking to scratch his nuts is Johnny Knoxville. It's probably an excerpt from Jackass. If you don't believe me watch an episode with him... he's using his "retard" voice.
July fth, 2008 at 05:50 pm
Does anyone not realize that there are lines all over the ground in the first video? They are parking spots. So the cop obviously did that to get some humor out of it.
July fth, 2008 at 05:48 pm
In the last video, the lady cop asks the driver to recite the alphabet backward starting at Z. I would have a hard time doing that sober. Try it yourself.
July fth, 2008 at 05:35 pm
If you look closely, the commenter Josh is an idiot. The cop didn't pull the tape at all, he set it straight down on the ground.
July fth, 2008 at 05:12 pm
I hope both comments above me were jokes.
Verbal confessions are frequently overturned, getting proof on tape is what cops look for.
Oh yeah, the cop really pulled that tape hard, seeing as the guy could place it straight down on the ground.
Idiots.
July fth, 2008 at 05:07 pm
He couldn't let go of the tape, of course, cause that would be automatic admission of guilt, right? Or even extend his arms. Or catch his slow motion topple with his hands. Nothing like that.
July fth, 2008 at 04:57 pm
Yeah, some suspicious behaviour from the cops. It could be considered unneccessary harrassment. The "#1" guy admitted he was drunk a few times. What was the purpose of undergoing a test to determine what he's already admitted? It doesn't amount to any further evidence, it just looks like they're trying to humiliate him.
July fth, 2008 at 06:30 am
If you look closely, the guy in first video didn't fall because he was drunk. The cop pulled on the tape really hard, causing him to face-plant.
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