Throwing a party is a lot of work, so it's a real disappointment when somebody you invited ruins it. Here's 8 types of people to watch out for before you make your next invite list.
8. Person Who Insists On Cleaning Up Your Party While It's Still Going On
WHERE YOU CAN FIND THEM: Right in front of you, asking if your drink is finished. Or, methodically moving through the party with a white trash bag and a look on their face as if they’ve been hunting Osama Bin laden for the last 6 years and have narrowed down his whereabouts to somewhere in this party.
WHY THEY WILL RUIN YOUR PARTY: Drinking a beer, much like sex, is far less enjoyable when someone is asking you if you’re finished every five minutes. It’s great that they want to help you clean up, but if you’ve decided to have a party, you’ve already resigned yourself to the fact that when it’s over, your house is going to probably look like the bathroom that Cary Elwes and Danny Glover woke up in, in the first Saw movie. I wonder if these people also decide to wipe their ass in the middle of taking a shit, just to "cut down on the work that has to be done when it's all over!"
7. GUY WHO GETS WASTED IN THE FIRST HOUR
WHERE YOU WILL FIND HIM: Right by the fridge, bro, cause that’s where all the beer is!
HOW HE WILL RUIN YOUR PARTY: From the moment this guy shows up, everything he says has an exclamation point at the end of it. “This party rules, dude!” “I am ready to party TO-night!” “Let’s shotgun these, bro!” “Tits!” Then, one hour and 13 beers later this guy is incoherent, weaving on his feet and saying stuff like “Paartyyyygjlskdvm...” So, instead of kicking back and hanging out with your friends, you have to spend the rest of the night making sure he doesn’t puke on your couch, piss in your plants or crap on your coffee table.
6. Person Who Only Knows You
WHERE YOU CAN FIND THEM: About two feet to the right of you, standing silently, staring at either you or the person you’re talking to.
WHY THEY WILL RUIN YOUR PARTY: You invited them because during the four and a half minutes a day you talk to them at work, they seem pretty cool and/or really enjoy the impression you do of a fellow coworker. Except as soon as they get to your party, they tense up like Alex Rodriguez’s asshole during a game in October. You have two options at this point, 1) entertain them and include them in every conversation you have the entire night, like they’re your wife or husband even though you probably don’t know their last name, or 2) leave them on their own which leads to them standing in a corner by themselves, staring at you, causing your friends to ask you “I think that dude in the corner is planning on raping you.”
5. GIRL WHO STARTS CRYING
WHERE YOU WILL FIND HER: She’s usually holed up in the bathroom (taking up valuable toilet space) with three of her bestest girlfriends—all three of whom are overweight.
HOW SHE WILL RUIN YOUR PARTY: The worst part is that this girl isn’t crying because her parents just died or she lost a limb. She’s sobbing into a fistful of tissues because she always needs to be the center of attention. If everyone’s not focused on her and all her problems, she just starts crying louder about her job or some lame guy who won’t date her or how fat her friends are. This means you either sit there and let her bring down the vibe of your party or you take her outside and listen to her whine about absolutely nothing. If possible, pair her up with the super wasted guy. She’ll think he’s listening and he’ll think he’s going to score.
4. Person Who Just Got Dumped By Their Girlfriend/Boyfriend
WHERE YOU CAN FIND THEM: In any corner where they were able to trap and force someone to listen to them talk about how they “don’t know what happened,” and how it “seemed like things were fine and then all of a sudden she just said that she thought that we were different people now. What does that even mean? Do you know, because I sure as fuck don’t! I just miss her so much. My name's Brian by the way.”
WHY THEY WILL RUIN YOUR PARTY: If I wanted people to get depressed as fuck at my party, I’d screen a copy of Schlindler’s list. The problem with these people is, they don’t care who they talk to, and no excuse you give will stop them from talking to you. “Hey, I gotta run to the bathroom,” “No worries, I’ll just wait for you until your done, unlike my EX girlfriend, who wouldn’t wait no matter HOW important it was to go to the bathroom and would just leave you with NOTHING while you were in there.”
3. Creepy Dude Who Tries To Bang Chicks At The Very End Of The Party
WHERE YOU CAN FIND THEM: Towards the end of the party, he’ll be wherever he hears the words “I can’t believe my friends left without me, they were my ride!” or “I’m so (hiccup) fucked up (hiccup) I gotta lay down or something.”
WHY THEY WILL RUIN YOUR PARTY: There’s a reason why this dude waits till the end of the party to try and score; he’s way too fucking creepy to do so when someone isn’t in some sort of desperate situation. Thus, although he’s there because he’s either family, a neighbor, or someone else invited him, you now have to hope to God he doesn’t take advantage of someone at your party, otherwise your party will not be remembered as “That Fourth of July Party at Bill’s house,” and instead be remembered as “that party at Bill’s house where that creepy guy tried to fingerbang Michele while she was puking.”
2. Couple Who Brings Their Baby
COUPLE WHO BRING THEIR BABY: Off to the side, on their knees, pleading with a 6 month old child to stop screaming or right next to you, asking you where he can dispose of a shit filled diaper.
WHY THEY WILL RUIN THEIR PARTY: Nothing says party like the sound of a screaming child and the stench of talcum powder and baby diarrhea! If there was a dude puking, shitting and crying at your party, would you be cool with that? No, you’d either be like “Who the fuck brought this guy?” But if you say that about a baby suddenly that makes you an asshole. Meanwhile, the party sucks becase everyone is being super cautious and attentive to the baby, as if the other 99% of the time that they’re not there the baby is barely eluding death due to unsupervision.
1. THE POLITICS GUY
WHERE YOU WILL FIND HIM: At the beginning of the night he usually stands right next to the front door where he overtly shows off his political button or T-shirt that says something like “Once You Go Barack, You Won’t Go Back” or “McCain = McStupid.” Then, after everyone shows up, he stealthily mingles from group to group while nonchalantly dropping lines like “Did you see what those fatcats tried to pull?” anytime there’s a lull in the conversation.
HOW HE WILL RUIN YOUR PARTY: No one in the history of parties has ever changed their political beliefs based on some asshole screaming about health care reform in the kitchen of a two bedroom apartment. His endlessly tiresome factoids and statistics about how much oil we consume and how the death penalty doesn’t work will make your guests either leave or kill themselves where they stand.
My favorite is always the girl-who-becomes-part-of-the-couch. She is dragged along by a group of girls that want to bring as many girls as possible so they look like the cool group. This girl is always found attached to the couch without a single drink in a 5 foot radius around her. If you make the mistake of sitting in the the only available spot next to her, she scrunches up so no part of your fun can rub off. She always has a face that looks like she has crap on her top lip. She never says anything bad about the party. She never says anything at all. But her aura sucks all the life out the room. She has pennyloafers on.
The only way to combat her is to make her the center of attention by giving her a lapdance. If she does not want to join the party, bring the party to her. Get the fat, sweaty guy to do it. All the girls that came with her will join in with dollars. Make sure to have a camera ready as the pictures will be worth alot when she finally snaps and kills her 3 children and herself because she cant keep a man for some reason.
How about the guy that shows up to your party not knowing anyone there (including you) only to walk up to you later saying "hey man, want a cd?" only to hand you a bunt cd with your handwriting entitled "nate's backed up classic rock/funk."
Thankfully I am friends with 'Angry Guy' who promptly decked the guy followed by 'girl who thinks it is ok to pour a beer on someone' and then the guy was escorted out by the 'group of people you just met but all think you are so cool for some reason so they "have your back"'
How bout the snob bitch friend (the cock blocker). Every time u get remotely close to any of her friends she always has a smart ass comment for you or drags her friends off just when you start talking to one of them. The reason why all her friends are single.
Yeah i see this a lot.. lol im only 15 so they get really immature. one time a kid was doing the helicopter with his cock and the kid throwing the party's mom came down and saw the twirling fallace
You forgot about the couple that had been going out since they were like 12 but just broke up last Tuesday. Over the years she grew to be REALLY hot but didn't know it 'cause she was stuck with Regular Guy. (Think Winnie and What's His Face from the Wonder Years.) They both come to the party but she's with a jock/rocker/young millionaire stud who is the total opposite of her former loser boyfriend. He's your homie, so you feel for him, but at the same time you just know things turned out the best for her, and her new guy has her pulling stunts in the bedroom that Regular Guy doesn't even know, and would be shocked to find out she liked or would even be willing to try.
Regular Guy tries to act like he's cool with everything by talking to his ex and her date, but you just never know at what point he's going to totally lose his shit and turn into # 7,5,4 or a really messed up #3 or just start a fight and get his ass kicked.
reading this site i see there's a huge difference the way americans and europeans party - u seem used to people getting naked at the party and stuff.
i'm not, and frankly, all those WildEuropeanSexParties.com sites base on superstition, that u guys are them puritans from mayflower, but couple hundred years later, and europeans are are crazy sex freaks that stayed
You completely forgot: Overly Competitive Drinking Game Guy. You'll usually find him at the Beer-Pong table getting irate over the other player's move. He'll start to get violently angry over the specific rules, especially when he himself gets called on violating them. He'll either start a fight, or the other player will just drop out of the game because they're tired of his constant griping. Other challengers will immediately withdraw their challenges and he will be left at the table yelling for people to come play against him.
Also Persona-non-grata DJ. The guy who insists on playing his esoteric musical tastes that usually have a tempo that's non conducive to a party atmosphere. No matter how many people tell him his music sucks he will not give up command of the stereo
How about the guy that stands at the keg pumping/pouring everyone's cup. He will in time (3-4times a hour) make sounds while pumping the keg that the keg is his penis.
and never forget the bitch that brings a camera to take pics of her with a Mikes hard in her hand standing with other people. Its bad enough that she brought the camera but she is the only that takes a picture. Holding the camera at arms length. "now everyone hold up the alcohol and act like we are too cool. And cheese". Why doesnot "guy at the end of the night" ruthie her so she never comes back. You can even take pictures of the event if you like.
i have been to european college parties when i studied abroad for one year. I would not say what you are saying is typical. Of coarse, what do i know...i dont spend my days surfing the internet looking for places to put referances of my website. Still a real lame and european way to promote a site. Good luck with that.
All the brain dead chicks want to bang him because he says he's surfed in Fiji, climbed mountains in some asian country and jumped out of airplanes. Everything is extreme with this guy, he drinks gatorade, eats beef jerky and wears a baseball hat backwards, has a fake tan and owns like 1000 pairs of khaki pants and printed shirts. All of this extremeness and orange skin still doesn't stop him from being an extreme douche bag.
Everything this guy says starts with MAN or DUDE!
All the extreme bimbos want Mr. Excitement. Course you find out that the guy actually works at the gap or taco bell and the extreme act is just to get laid.
Course the guy that keeps reaching into his pants and adjusting his stuff is pretty annoying too. Why does he keep sniffing his fingers?
What about the couple who have been together for like 10 yrs and don't know how to have fun anymore. They haven't been out the house for like 8 of those years and everytime the guy starts talking to someone the girl says something like," thanks for leaving me alone," "who was THAT?!" Don't let it be a female or the guys doomed. Then his girlfriend turns into the crying chick in the bathroom but it is the guy trying to get her out because everyone else is yelling," hey bitch get out the bathroom!" Then he finally drags her out then they leave...
ALL THIS HAPPENS USUALLY IN ONE HOUR OF BEING THERE!!
living in the south, theres always the drunk redneck that nobody invited , shows up because he works with somebody that you had to invite, then corners you and starts crying because of the early demise of ''THE GREATEST F--KING RACE CAR DRIVER EVER BORN, THE INTIMIDATOR''
What about "Mr. Switcheroo"? This is the guy who shows up to the party with a 12 pack of Keystone Light or Pabst Blue Ribbon. He sticks his beer in the fridge and proceeds to drink all your Guinness or Newcastle Brown Ale. Hours later when you go to get a beer.... yours are all gone but, there is an untouched 12 pack of PBR sitting in the back of the fridge.
I think that almost every person has been accounted for here, except
the guy who stopped smoking a million times, that didn't bring any smokes and bums cigarettes all night, swears he will get you back the next day and never does
where to find him/her: usually outside talking all night about obscure references
why he will ruin you party: eventually ends up telling a way deep secret that is then told at every party you ever go to.
At or near the number one spot should be DOG PEOPLE -- people who bring their f*cking dog to your party and expect you to let it tromp around your house all night, knocking over lamps and eating food off of coffee tables. LEAVE YOUR EFFING DOGS AT HOME, PEOPLE!
Here you go: The sober guy: insisting on not drinking even a single drop of alcohol during the entire party.
Instead he drinks gallons of juice and soda you prepared for mixing your drinks.
He ends up sitting in a corner being a creep that smiles ironically at all drunk people around him.
The "I have zero concept of limits or etiquette" guy.
Where you can find him: all over the f*cking place, repeatedly making a fool of himself.
Why he'll ruin your party: upon learning of the impending party and having absolutely no concept of limits, he begins by ingesting an absurd amount of alcohol for his bodyweight prior to the commencement of the party.
As the evening progresses, his demeanor becomes increasingly socially unacceptable until people start asking who the hell that guy is and who'd be stupid enough to bring him there: as a result, you're impossibly embarassed to be associated with him and hope nobody realizes that you're the one who made the mistake of inviting him.
Possessing no knowledge of acceptable behavior in a public setting, he interrupts and interjects in conversations, picks random friendly fights with people three times his size, performs martial arts and other acrobatic shit that nobody asked for or cares about, rolls around on the floor and hits on girls out of his league by an exponential factor, all the while thinking they want his junk.
Usually ends the night completely wasted and requiring assistance for even the most rudimentary of tasks, instantly revealing you to be the guilty party responsible for ruining everybody else's night. Stories of his tales survive to this day.
How about all the assholes that find it necessary to point out every possibly archetype out there for a person who may or may not show up at a party. I was personally going to suggest the guy who got bitten by a zombie while eating BK out of a dumpster behind a tampon factory, but I'm pretty sure at least one of the people above me must have covered it.
You know the guy who take a bottle of wine to the party , only that the wine is mixed with his piss , then take another piss in the punch bowl when no ones looking , goes to the bathroom and sprays all the expensive perfume on himself ,
maybe even steals some of the bottles if he is in a good mood and then seduces a hot chicks by pretending that he is a cool open minded gay guy who has never slept with a woman and ends up having a threesome with them in the your parents bedroom and
after that gets up in the morning and takes a dump near you so that you realise that you are having a smelly nightmare and that you are so fucked that you don't even know that .
By the way you are having a smelly nightmare because you drank lots of that wine filled with piss . Beware of such party freaks like me and by the way looking forward to more such parties :-) good luck motherfucking host , time to buy some more expensive perfume bottles ;-0
Love the pics ,what about the guy who finishes everything in the fridge secretly when no ones looking and then pretends that he is hungry and ask you if there is something to eat !
I was usually the first guy impressing people with my knowledge , philosphy and wisdom . But time and experince has made me the third guy , now I impress them with my dick in their ass , lol
howbout the backstabber. the one person who will talk to one person then move to the next group and bitch until their blue in the face about the person they just talked to. then when they dont give a shit more and to the next victim D:
or the guy who drinks and by the time everyones wasted. is still standing as sober as when you started. then calls you all lightweights.
the still stuck in high school people? nothing's worse than going back home a few years (anywhere from 4 to 10) after high school and see the kid who still lives in town (possibly with his folks and possibly works for his dad) and wants to reminisce on the "glory days" of senior year and how he's "so close to bagging that associates in business" from the local community college. life moved on. you didn't. we're going to stand over here now.
How about the masked stranger that stalks and dispatches party guests one by one as they separate from the group for sex and or drugs? Slowly whittling the party guests and nosy neighbor to one attractive girl, the stranger will disappear mysteriously after the last girl knocks him unconscious and runs away, dropping the only weapon she has.
Well who the fk do you want at your party?
Tool old??..too young??, too this too that.....I would'nt come to your fkn party, or any of you people's party,,,,I was laughing at the article,,and then read the cooments..and you are a bunch of mean spirted bad karma "no ones". Humans are all different..and it makes it fun,,unless you FEEL THE NEED TO CLASSIFY AND JUDGE..piss off!! you are all nothings ...... and I was going to say, thanks for the laugh until the comments turned ugly .... you all are a waste of air. please perish from the panet, SOON!!
There's also the person, guy or girl, that starts the conversation about the meaning of "Life." "What is the true meaning of Life?" That person's annoying because u don't want to talk about that and they trickle to everyone about their opinion of "Life" and it has the potential to overtake the party. Man, just let me drink and enjoy the party.
I want to apologize to everyone on the list for the rude and ugly comments in my earlier post. After a few moments reflection, I realized that I was being an asshole and criticizing others by calling them "no ones" and "nothings". I was classifying and judging others just like I accused others of doing. My comments were "mean spirited" and "bad karma" towards everyone else on the list who were just trying to have a good time and laugh about life. Perhaps I need to watch some of the late night comedians and learn how to laugh at myself and not take things so seriously.
Now I finally realize why I have no friends and am never invited to parties, even my own.
how about the guy who can no longer talk but still insists on talking, for a very very long time. haha
and what about the person who is acting drunk, but is obviously not and just trying to get attention.
How about the guy at the party who needs primer on web basics. How about being a professional and asking permission to use photos.
http://library.thinkquest.org/J001570/Permissionhow.html
Tell them what kind of help you need. For example, “ I am writing for permission to use images or information from your website. I wonder if you have images or information about ____ that I could use for our website project.”
(229 Comments)
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
July 29th, 2008 at 11:42 am
My favorite is always the girl-who-becomes-part-of-the-couch. She is dragged along by a group of girls that want to bring as many girls as possible so they look like the cool group. This girl is always found attached to the couch without a single drink in a 5 foot radius around her. If you make the mistake of sitting in the the only available spot next to her, she scrunches up so no part of your fun can rub off. She always has a face that looks like she has crap on her top lip. She never says anything bad about the party. She never says anything at all. But her aura sucks all the life out the room. She has pennyloafers on.
The only way to combat her is to make her the center of attention by giving her a lapdance. If she does not want to join the party, bring the party to her. Get the fat, sweaty guy to do it. All the girls that came with her will join in with dollars. Make sure to have a camera ready as the pictures will be worth alot when she finally snaps and kills her 3 children and herself because she cant keep a man for some reason.
July 29th, 2008 at 11:42 am
very nice - my favorite is the cleaning guy
July 29th, 2008 at 11:54 am
You just need like 10 #7's for a good party. At least, that's all I need. Shenannigans begin!
July 29th, 2008 at 11:55 am
Funny but Danny Glover didn't wake up in the bathroom in Saw, it was Cary Elwes and Leigh Whannell.
July 29th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
ok now you need to do one about black party totally diffrent story.
July 29th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
How about the guy that shows up to your party not knowing anyone there (including you) only to walk up to you later saying "hey man, want a cd?" only to hand you a bunt cd with your handwriting entitled "nate's backed up classic rock/funk."
Thankfully I am friends with 'Angry Guy' who promptly decked the guy followed by 'girl who thinks it is ok to pour a beer on someone' and then the guy was escorted out by the 'group of people you just met but all think you are so cool for some reason so they "have your back"'
July 29th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
9 = Guy who gets drunk and picks fights
July 29th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
How bout the snob bitch friend (the cock blocker). Every time u get remotely close to any of her friends she always has a smart ass comment for you or drags her friends off just when you start talking to one of them. The reason why all her friends are single.
July 29th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
Someone in Pittsburgh Says:
July 29th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
You might also like to include the drank to much and am now naked person.
I see this in similar quantaties between the sexes and I see one of these people at least every other party.
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Yeah i see this a lot.. lol im only 15 so they get really immature. one time a kid was doing the helicopter with his cock and the kid throwing the party's mom came down and saw the twirling fallace
July 29th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
You forgot about the couple that had been going out since they were like 12 but just broke up last Tuesday. Over the years she grew to be REALLY hot but didn't know it 'cause she was stuck with Regular Guy. (Think Winnie and What's His Face from the Wonder Years.) They both come to the party but she's with a jock/rocker/young millionaire stud who is the total opposite of her former loser boyfriend. He's your homie, so you feel for him, but at the same time you just know things turned out the best for her, and her new guy has her pulling stunts in the bedroom that Regular Guy doesn't even know, and would be shocked to find out she liked or would even be willing to try.
Regular Guy tries to act like he's cool with everything by talking to his ex and her date, but you just never know at what point he's going to totally lose his shit and turn into # 7,5,4 or a really messed up #3 or just start a fight and get his ass kicked.
July 29th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
I think I've been each of those people at least once.....except the guy who cleans up all night.....I mean really, fuck that.
July 29th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
reading this site i see there's a huge difference the way americans and europeans party - u seem used to people getting naked at the party and stuff.
i'm not, and frankly, all those WildEuropeanSexParties.com sites base on superstition, that u guys are them puritans from mayflower, but couple hundred years later, and europeans are are crazy sex freaks that stayed
July 29th, 2008 at 01:18 pm
You completely forgot: Overly Competitive Drinking Game Guy. You'll usually find him at the Beer-Pong table getting irate over the other player's move. He'll start to get violently angry over the specific rules, especially when he himself gets called on violating them. He'll either start a fight, or the other player will just drop out of the game because they're tired of his constant griping. Other challengers will immediately withdraw their challenges and he will be left at the table yelling for people to come play against him.
Also Persona-non-grata DJ. The guy who insists on playing his esoteric musical tastes that usually have a tempo that's non conducive to a party atmosphere. No matter how many people tell him his music sucks he will not give up command of the stereo
July 29th, 2008 at 01:42 pm
How about the guy that stands at the keg pumping/pouring everyone's cup. He will in time (3-4times a hour) make sounds while pumping the keg that the keg is his penis.
and never forget the bitch that brings a camera to take pics of her with a Mikes hard in her hand standing with other people. Its bad enough that she brought the camera but she is the only that takes a picture. Holding the camera at arms length. "now everyone hold up the alcohol and act like we are too cool. And cheese". Why doesnot "guy at the end of the night" ruthie her so she never comes back. You can even take pictures of the event if you like.
July 29th, 2008 at 01:59 pm
i have been to european college parties when i studied abroad for one year. I would not say what you are saying is typical. Of coarse, what do i know...i dont spend my days surfing the internet looking for places to put referances of my website. Still a real lame and european way to promote a site. Good luck with that.
July 29th, 2008 at 02:26 pm
NEVER *NEVER* GET A WOOKIE DRUNK!! LooL361
July 29th, 2008 at 02:29 pm
The guy that pisses me off is Mr. Excitement.
All the brain dead chicks want to bang him because he says he's surfed in Fiji, climbed mountains in some asian country and jumped out of airplanes. Everything is extreme with this guy, he drinks gatorade, eats beef jerky and wears a baseball hat backwards, has a fake tan and owns like 1000 pairs of khaki pants and printed shirts. All of this extremeness and orange skin still doesn't stop him from being an extreme douche bag.
Everything this guy says starts with MAN or DUDE!
All the extreme bimbos want Mr. Excitement. Course you find out that the guy actually works at the gap or taco bell and the extreme act is just to get laid.
Course the guy that keeps reaching into his pants and adjusting his stuff is pretty annoying too. Why does he keep sniffing his fingers?
July 29th, 2008 at 02:55 pm
What about the guy who says a rascist joke when a person of that race is within earshot?
July 29th, 2008 at 03:08 pm
What about the couple who have been together for like 10 yrs and don't know how to have fun anymore. They haven't been out the house for like 8 of those years and everytime the guy starts talking to someone the girl says something like," thanks for leaving me alone," "who was THAT?!" Don't let it be a female or the guys doomed. Then his girlfriend turns into the crying chick in the bathroom but it is the guy trying to get her out because everyone else is yelling," hey bitch get out the bathroom!" Then he finally drags her out then they leave...
ALL THIS HAPPENS USUALLY IN ONE HOUR OF BEING THERE!!
July 29th, 2008 at 03:11 pm
I'm still laughing at the image of TrustMe's asshole having a "tip". You must have one seriously fucked up asshole, dude!
July 29th, 2008 at 03:33 pm
living in the south, theres always the drunk redneck that nobody invited , shows up because he works with somebody that you had to invite, then corners you and starts crying because of the early demise of ''THE GREATEST F--KING RACE CAR DRIVER EVER BORN, THE INTIMIDATOR''
July 29th, 2008 at 03:51 pm
What about "Mr. Switcheroo"? This is the guy who shows up to the party with a 12 pack of Keystone Light or Pabst Blue Ribbon. He sticks his beer in the fridge and proceeds to drink all your Guinness or Newcastle Brown Ale. Hours later when you go to get a beer.... yours are all gone but, there is an untouched 12 pack of PBR sitting in the back of the fridge.
July 29th, 2008 at 04:15 pm
I think that almost every person has been accounted for here, except
the guy who stopped smoking a million times, that didn't bring any smokes and bums cigarettes all night, swears he will get you back the next day and never does
where to find him/her: usually outside talking all night about obscure references
why he will ruin you party: eventually ends up telling a way deep secret that is then told at every party you ever go to.
July 29th, 2008 at 04:51 pm
At or near the number one spot should be DOG PEOPLE -- people who bring their f*cking dog to your party and expect you to let it tromp around your house all night, knocking over lamps and eating food off of coffee tables. LEAVE YOUR EFFING DOGS AT HOME, PEOPLE!
July 29th, 2008 at 06:03 pm
let us not forget the person who decides to striptease or so they think that s what it s called, and are just a messy mess.
July 29th, 2008 at 06:17 pm
Here you go: The sober guy: insisting on not drinking even a single drop of alcohol during the entire party.
Instead he drinks gallons of juice and soda you prepared for mixing your drinks.
He ends up sitting in a corner being a creep that smiles ironically at all drunk people around him.
July 29th, 2008 at 06:59 pm
Great stuff. I like this story. So true.
July 29th, 2008 at 07:01 pm
HOW ABOUT THE GUY or GIRL WHO SMELLS LIKE ASS WHO KEEPS
STINKING UP THE PARTY!!!
WHO LET THEM IN ANYWAY!!
ANYONE WHO GOES TO A PARTY WITHOUT WASHING THEIR ASS
REALLY SHOULD NOT BE AT A PARTY!!
THEY SHOULD BE SOMEWHERE WASHING THEIR ASS!!
July 29th, 2008 at 07:46 pm
The "I have zero concept of limits or etiquette" guy.
Where you can find him: all over the f*cking place, repeatedly making a fool of himself.
Why he'll ruin your party: upon learning of the impending party and having absolutely no concept of limits, he begins by ingesting an absurd amount of alcohol for his bodyweight prior to the commencement of the party.
As the evening progresses, his demeanor becomes increasingly socially unacceptable until people start asking who the hell that guy is and who'd be stupid enough to bring him there: as a result, you're impossibly embarassed to be associated with him and hope nobody realizes that you're the one who made the mistake of inviting him.
Possessing no knowledge of acceptable behavior in a public setting, he interrupts and interjects in conversations, picks random friendly fights with people three times his size, performs martial arts and other acrobatic shit that nobody asked for or cares about, rolls around on the floor and hits on girls out of his league by an exponential factor, all the while thinking they want his junk.
Usually ends the night completely wasted and requiring assistance for even the most rudimentary of tasks, instantly revealing you to be the guilty party responsible for ruining everybody else's night. Stories of his tales survive to this day.
July 29th, 2008 at 08:02 pm
How about all the assholes that find it necessary to point out every possibly archetype out there for a person who may or may not show up at a party. I was personally going to suggest the guy who got bitten by a zombie while eating BK out of a dumpster behind a tampon factory, but I'm pretty sure at least one of the people above me must have covered it.
July 29th, 2008 at 08:07 pm
You know the guy who take a bottle of wine to the party , only that the wine is mixed with his piss , then take another piss in the punch bowl when no ones looking , goes to the bathroom and sprays all the expensive perfume on himself ,
maybe even steals some of the bottles if he is in a good mood and then seduces a hot chicks by pretending that he is a cool open minded gay guy who has never slept with a woman and ends up having a threesome with them in the your parents bedroom and
after that gets up in the morning and takes a dump near you so that you realise that you are having a smelly nightmare and that you are so fucked that you don't even know that .
By the way you are having a smelly nightmare because you drank lots of that wine filled with piss . Beware of such party freaks like me and by the way looking forward to more such parties :-) good luck motherfucking host , time to buy some more expensive perfume bottles ;-0
July 29th, 2008 at 08:24 pm
WTF , WHICH PLANET HAVE YOU COME FROM ASSHOLERULES !!!
July 29th, 2008 at 08:28 pm
I think I have met most of these people at parties but thank god that I ahve nevermet Assholerules , lol
July 29th, 2008 at 08:32 pm
Love the pics ,what about the guy who finishes everything in the fridge secretly when no ones looking and then pretends that he is hungry and ask you if there is something to eat !
July 29th, 2008 at 08:37 pm
You know , this post eminds me of the worst kind , the ones who smell and fart all the time and your party smells like a fucking oil refinery
July 29th, 2008 at 08:41 pm
I'm usually #7 but I usually last about 2-3 hours. Hilarious article and the comments were funny as hell too...there's some funny mufu's out there.
July 29th, 2008 at 08:45 pm
hello there to all funny people who do funny things and make life for all us very intersting at parties ,
July 29th, 2008 at 08:46 pm
I was usually the first guy impressing people with my knowledge , philosphy and wisdom . But time and experince has made me the third guy , now I impress them with my dick in their ass , lol
July 29th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
howbout the backstabber. the one person who will talk to one person then move to the next group and bitch until their blue in the face about the person they just talked to. then when they dont give a shit more and to the next victim D:
or the guy who drinks and by the time everyones wasted. is still standing as sober as when you started. then calls you all lightweights.
July 29th, 2008 at 10:01 pm
I will now hide my toothbrush at all parties I throw, thanks to that comment that one person left.
July 29th, 2008 at 10:11 pm
the still stuck in high school people? nothing's worse than going back home a few years (anywhere from 4 to 10) after high school and see the kid who still lives in town (possibly with his folks and possibly works for his dad) and wants to reminisce on the "glory days" of senior year and how he's "so close to bagging that associates in business" from the local community college. life moved on. you didn't. we're going to stand over here now.
July 29th, 2008 at 11:35 pm
How about the masked stranger that stalks and dispatches party guests one by one as they separate from the group for sex and or drugs? Slowly whittling the party guests and nosy neighbor to one attractive girl, the stranger will disappear mysteriously after the last girl knocks him unconscious and runs away, dropping the only weapon she has.
That guy sucks.
July 30th, 2008 at 12:33 am
Well who the fk do you want at your party?
Tool old??..too young??, too this too that.....I would'nt come to your fkn party, or any of you people's party,,,,I was laughing at the article,,and then read the cooments..and you are a bunch of mean spirted bad karma "no ones". Humans are all different..and it makes it fun,,unless you FEEL THE NEED TO CLASSIFY AND JUDGE..piss off!! you are all nothings ...... and I was going to say, thanks for the laugh until the comments turned ugly .... you all are a waste of air. please perish from the panet, SOON!!
July 30th, 2008 at 12:56 am
O Hai
July 30th, 2008 at 03:04 am
There's also the person, guy or girl, that starts the conversation about the meaning of "Life." "What is the true meaning of Life?" That person's annoying because u don't want to talk about that and they trickle to everyone about their opinion of "Life" and it has the potential to overtake the party. Man, just let me drink and enjoy the party.
July 30th, 2008 at 03:52 am
I want to apologize to everyone on the list for the rude and ugly comments in my earlier post. After a few moments reflection, I realized that I was being an asshole and criticizing others by calling them "no ones" and "nothings". I was classifying and judging others just like I accused others of doing. My comments were "mean spirited" and "bad karma" towards everyone else on the list who were just trying to have a good time and laugh about life. Perhaps I need to watch some of the late night comedians and learn how to laugh at myself and not take things so seriously.
Now I finally realize why I have no friends and am never invited to parties, even my own.
July 30th, 2008 at 07:19 am
how about the guy who can no longer talk but still insists on talking, for a very very long time. haha
and what about the person who is acting drunk, but is obviously not and just trying to get attention.
July 30th, 2008 at 10:38 am
How about the guy at the party who needs primer on web basics. How about being a professional and asking permission to use photos.
http://library.thinkquest.org/J001570/Permissionhow.html
Tell them what kind of help you need. For example, “ I am writing for permission to use images or information from your website. I wonder if you have images or information about ____ that I could use for our website project.”
July 30th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
just from reading the comments this list could have been the "50 people who will ruin your party"... overall a good list!
July 30th, 2008 at 05:29 pm
I still like to whack off on peoples toothbrushes and I have AIDS! I'll show them bitches!
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