Manny Ramirez Traded: Manny Ramirez Confused

I really like watching Manny Ramirez play left field because if you look closely, he's not actually looking at the action that's going on at the plate, but instead is looking slightly to his right with an expression on his face like he just dropped acid and he's not sure if the two elephants he's watching solve a calculus problem are really there or not. Today Dodger fans are going to get to see that same face up close. Espn.com reports:

Slugger Manny Ramirez's stormy relationship with the Boston Red Sox is over. Ramirez has been traded to the Los Angeles Dodgers.

Jason Bay is going to Boston and the Pittsburgh Pirates get four minor leaguers as part of the three-way deal.

I was expecting the next line to read "Upon hearing the news, three of the minor leaguers built a raft and attempted to defect to Cuba, while the fourth was found hanged in his locker."

I can't wait till the Joe Torre sits Manny down when he gets to L.A. and is like "All right Manny, we're thinking of hitting you third in the line up so we can optimize your run production," and Manny is silent for a few seconds and then is like "Who has a wood thingy I use to make the loud noise?"

I think this new change of scenery will confuse Manny and one inning Torre will look out to see an empty left field and be like "Where the hell is Ramirez?" meanwhile this will be going on: