Church Signs That Won’t Make You Go To Church
Driving across the rural parts of America you’ll undoubtedly notice the large number of churches that use their signs to try and draw people into their church with a joke or a pun or some good old fashioned fire and brimstone fear. The problem is, the comedy stylings of most church pastors is kind of like a combination of Yakov Smirnoff and Rush Limbaugh. You either get the world’s crappiest puns or some sort of evil, hate filled message that’s supposed to scare you into attending, or a totally awesome unintentional double entrendre. Either way, these signs are the only interesting thing to look at when you’re driving from Pennsylvania to Colorado.
Um, what?
Now there’s a well thought out marketing pitch.
OK, so maybe this one makes me want to go to church.
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Tags: church signs
August 4th, 2008 at 9:03 am
Damn… some of these have got to be backwoods Churches in the southeast filled with ignorant jackoffs. The ones about sacred cows and Obama/Osama are pretty fucked up.
But what’s up with the “she knocks a hole in your bucket of joy” thing? Totally out of left field there.
August 4th, 2008 at 9:20 am
I have seen a bunch of these before, but the sinburn/sonscreen one had me literally laughing out loud. Great post.
August 4th, 2008 at 9:58 am
Those are cute.
August 4th, 2008 at 11:57 am
I found some good ones travelling through Canada aswell, this was one that I found hilarious. Though not a statement the name itself is priceless.
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y271/Beasterbastard/DSC00204.jpg
not sure if ya allow posts with links or not, all I ever see are the spam, let’s go see Jessica Alba and date her on this celeb dating site crap, gonna give it a shot anyways
August 4th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Hey Pratik have you looked at a map of the United States lately? The post says these signs came “from Pennsylvania to Colorado.” I’m fairly certain thats not the southeast. Andthe sign says “sin” not she. I wonder if you are an ignorant jackoff.
August 4th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
I rolled my eyes pretty hard at “Easter is more than something to dye for.”
August 4th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
What’s with the hating of the Jews? Always. Wasn’t Jesus a… forget it.
August 4th, 2008 at 2:38 pm
one of my favorites is from a church across the street, it’s in the same vein as the sinburn/sunscreen, “exposure to the son, may prevent burning.”
August 4th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
course most of them are pathetic/sad but the last one is actually pretty clever
August 4th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
So it’s true. God DOES hate jews. Always wondered about that.
August 4th, 2008 at 5:09 pm
The first one is at the corner of Berwyn (5300N) and Ashland (1600W) in Chicago.
I was just over by there for dinner lol.
August 4th, 2008 at 5:10 pm
I cannot respond to these- I do not exist…
August 4th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
awww!! I love jews!!
google may not have it all, but it satisfies my search! specially with the filters off!!!!
haha!
August 4th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
the church down the street from my house had a sign out front that said “pray for our troops” but someone took down the TR so it said “pray for our oops”
August 4th, 2008 at 6:32 pm
I live near the Dovercourt Baptist Church, and they always have punny, corny ones like that…
The irony is that I find it to be one of the actually less community-involved churches in the area. That church isn’t even backwoods or redneck or anything, it’s actually in downtown Toronto, where most churches just post signs for sermon times in different languages and are usually holding interesting neighbourhood events other than for the purpose of hitting you over the head with the bible
August 4th, 2008 at 8:05 pm
The only church sign that ever made me think was “Seven days without prayer makes one weak.”
August 4th, 2008 at 8:42 pm
I grew up Catholic and all I know is that my priest called a “Hellion” .
I’m sure in California (La-la-land) they have ones that say: “Don’t be a ‘Speed Racer’ thru ’sex in the city with your ‘Hand-cock’ or you’ll suffer thru a ‘Dark Night’ - ‘Get Smart’ with Jesus….so some such nonsense. You know someone’s going to try to do it.
August 4th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
Wow… some of those hateful signs are exactly why I think christianity is the worst religion of all. Well, not the religion itself, but the misguided church members who so brutally twisted the teachings of the very guy that they claim to follow. The way I see it, just worship in the way you want and let others do the same without shoving your nose into it. If you happened to choose the “right” one then you win, enjoy. Don’t worry about those who choose the “wrong” one, that just leaves better real estate for you in the afterlife (if you believe in one)
August 4th, 2008 at 9:19 pm
I am sure if those had been pictures of Mosque signs, muslims would be ready to kill people indiscriminately. On another note, those who read my post really need to get to know Jesus as he will return to get his people and in the twinkling of an eye, millions of people will disappear from Earth and go with Him to Heaven, and then I am sure Almighty God will have the world’s attention. Make no mistake God will not be mocked and those who don’t except Christ will live forever, just not in Heaven, but Hell. Every man has sin, but not every man has Christ to pay for his sins. There isn’t a single human being on this planet who hasn’t lied, stolen, cheated, had sex outside of marriage or cursed God as such is sin and all are guilty.
August 4th, 2008 at 9:23 pm
Here is a much better picture of the
“SANTA NEVER DIED FOR ANYONE” sign
from xmas 2006 in Seattle.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/printzerostudios/242932149/
August 4th, 2008 at 9:41 pm
I’ve got a good one posted on at this page … http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=6353405&albumID=0&imageID=463400
August 4th, 2008 at 11:38 pm
Whoever wrote “Pratik is a dumbass”, I will find you and castrate you motherfuckeR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
August 4th, 2008 at 11:39 pm
The best sign I ever saw was in Orlando, FL it said. “Sign broke, message inside on Sunday.”
August 4th, 2008 at 11:39 pm
There’s a billboard on a main highway between Houston & Austin that reads: “Will the road your on lead you to me?” - Aside from poor grammar, the sign kinda frightens me, because I’m thinking, “God, I hope not!”
August 4th, 2008 at 11:39 pm
“I am sure if those had been pictures of Mosque signs, muslims would be ready to kill people indiscriminately.”
So would Christians if they could get away with it. The only reason Christianity doesn’t behave the same way as Islam is because Christians tend to be located in Western countries that do not tolerate that sort of behavior. Make no mistake, if Christianity were in Iran, they would be doing the same exact things.
August 4th, 2008 at 11:46 pm
Correct me if i’m wrong, but isn’t the sacred cow one an old saying telling us to question standing traditions? I want to see that church
August 4th, 2008 at 11:49 pm
http://www.nationaldayofslayer.org/slayer/god_listens_to_slayer.jpg
August 4th, 2008 at 11:50 pm
I like the atheist one, except that I think God is an atheist.
I mean, to have faith, you need to believe in something that you can’t prove is true.
God can prove anything to be true, all powerful, right? So he doesn’t have faith.
Now, speaking of all powerful, to be of any religion, you need to believe in a higher power, right? Well, since god is all powerful, there IS no higher power.
Therefore, God is not religious, and has no faith.
So GOD is an atheist.
August 4th, 2008 at 11:55 pm
McCaine is not his brother’s keeper?
August 4th, 2008 at 11:59 pm
Those crosses in the fourth picture look exactly like the chinese character for ‘middle’…
Look here: http://www.zhongwen.com/cgi-bin/zipux2.cgi?b5=%A4%A4
August 5th, 2008 at 12:02 am
“Make no mistake, if Christianity were in Iran, they would be doing the same exact things.”
You submit a rash hypothetical you have no way of guaranteeing. It’s a poor way to frame an argument. Christianity is the predominate religion in the United States and what have we for it? A plethora of relief organizations, the Salvation Army, Catholic and Protestant charities, food drives, foreign aid and missions. Where is the Muslim equivalent to such benevolence?
August 5th, 2008 at 12:04 am
@WTF - Ummm, Christianity is in Iran, and all of the other Middle-eastern countries… http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christians_in_Iran
August 5th, 2008 at 12:21 am
LOL WTF
August 5th, 2008 at 12:26 am
The ones about the sacred cow an the jews were really sick..
i thought Americans were tolerant people…
its really sad!!
August 5th, 2008 at 12:31 am
@unpaste:
Here:
http://www.google.nl/search?q=muslim+relief+organisations&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a
Looks to me like Islam does provide much benevolence itself. So next time, instead of spouting ignorant nonsense, maybe you could spend two seconds writing 3 words in the Google search box. It’ll prevent you from looking like a fool.
August 5th, 2008 at 12:31 am
@unpaste: “Where is the Muslim equivalent to such benevolence?”
You don’t think they exist? Google red crescent. Just because you don’t hear about them in this country doesn’t mean there isn’t a lot of that sort of thing there. You don’t really think the news outlets in this country want to have us think of people our government wants to bomb as human, do you? I’d be very surprised if there isn’t actually more charity donated in those countries than this one, by percentage of donor’s income as well as overall percentage of people that give.
August 5th, 2008 at 12:33 am
Some of these were funny, and some of these were very scary. But many of these post were just as scary. Christianity today really isn’t what it was intended to be by Jesus. However, just because some people (and it seems like more and more these days) don’t reflect what it’s about… Doesn’t mean you should just write it off. That’s kind of the same ignorance as racism. Don’t judge a group by a bunch of bad apples. Many of you have made your own conclusions based on what you’ve heard or by someones bad example. I’d just like to challenge you all to study it for yourself with an honest look. You may find it’s alot deeper than you ever realized.
August 5th, 2008 at 12:38 am
As a Christian(and a minister to be exact) I am first and foremost embarrassed by many of the acts of so-called “christendom”. While yes, many christians today and in days past have performed many acts I believe Jesus would have been incapable of committing, many of them are well intentioned, wrong, but well intentioned. As far as Christianity in Iran - understand that nearly all of those Christians cannot stand-out in public due to rampant persecution - and not mere words of intollerance, many have been shot in the streets, in front of their families and in prisons just for saying that they believe in Jesus and not Muhammed. I am not writing that to bash on muslims I am simply stating why you don’t see Christians striving for the same humanitarian efforts as you see many do here in the states. In the end I think what many of you have posted is accurate and reiterrates what I have been trying to say to the church for many years, “your stupid little phrases don’t mean anything to anyone but you…” I hope that those of you who read this will know that Christianity - often times like politics - the loud minority is who gets the press - not the silent majority.
August 5th, 2008 at 12:45 am
Some of these are funny, but others are messed up.
Also:
@Seraphim: Oh do shut up.
“There isn’t a single human being on this planet who hasn’t lied, stolen, cheated, had sex outside of marriage or cursed God as such is sin and all are guilty.”
That doesn’t mean that everyone commits every single sin. Not everyone has stolen things and/or had sex outside of marriage, you stupid asshole. (masturbation doesn’t count, even if it did not every one on the planet has done it and it’s not even a sin) I haven’t had sex at all and plenty of people that I know haven’t, you presumptuous moron. Also, wasn’t Jesus human too? I guess there was one who hasn’t sinned after all, huh?
Now take your fire and brimstone and get lost, ya jerk.
August 5th, 2008 at 12:45 am
“Christianity is the predominate religion in the United States and what have we for it? A plethora of relief organizations, the Salvation Army, Catholic and Protestant charities, food drives, foreign aid and missions. Where is the Muslim equivalent to such benevolence?”
Besides the obvious church charities, how are you able to justify that these relief efforts are the result of a religion and not that of the basic innate human quality known as sympathy? Don’t forget the fact that we have more resources to afford such efforts compared to those other countries. It is when a person insults the beliefs of another person that causes those types of brutal actions. Christianity is just another belief. The fact that State and Church are separated is what makes us different from those Muslim countries. Best example Christians will react just like any other religious group? Beatles. John Lennon. Bigger than Jesus. Outrage.
August 5th, 2008 at 1:10 am
the last 2 are hilarious
August 5th, 2008 at 1:20 am
I dont exactly believe in anything, especially any “holy” text, such as the bible, Quran, or buddhist sutras. However, i do love one biblical saying “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone” I take it as an internal question, a man asking himself “who am i to judge? i am not you and i am not perfect”. Just my opinion though.
August 5th, 2008 at 1:22 am
“I’m also making a list and checking it twice.”
-god
If the christian god is infallible and all knowing, then why would he have to check a list twice? he would get it right the first time.
August 5th, 2008 at 1:31 am
“The Road Warrior said God hates the jews,
and the Road warrior dont lie”.
“Screw you guys, Im going home”.
August 5th, 2008 at 2:06 am
My contribution: http://www.flickr.com/photos/twonjosh/2685631585/
August 5th, 2008 at 2:31 am
Churches sure has gone commercial … with a make your donations here mentality !
August 5th, 2008 at 2:42 am
Gods and their stories are for people who get bored easily, run low on self confidence and can’t think for themselves.
When I was young I also believed in fairy tales… then I grew up(went to school) and got wiser.
There’s only wisdom and responsability.
Btw where do you think all the pornstars will go to IF there would be a hell and a heaven :p
//ontopic: The signs show the average IQ of those people. We also have one here “Jesus is LOVE” (Belgium). They should put heavy taxes on that kind of advertising. Religion is what divides people.
August 5th, 2008 at 2:52 am
Funny and frightening all at the same time…… and these people believe there is a spiritual god who will rescue them in their hour of need!
Pass the ammo….. well these are really well adjusted church going people yall’…… praise god and I’ll blow ya’ head off given an opportunity!
I’m actually really comfortable in the belief there might not be a god at all. Why do we place so much emphasis on some deity to come down and save us. Who would want to after seeing how we behave and treat the planet.
I say… believe in yourselves, believe in the human spirit and save the planet, nobody is going to do it for us.
August 5th, 2008 at 3:09 am
head on over to http://bibletruths.com/ to see more
August 5th, 2008 at 4:21 am
It is not a bad thing to say Jews killed Jesus. In fact they did. We should be happy. When the Jews killed Christ (did not accept Him as King) it opened the doors for the Gospel to the Gentiles. I am thankful for that. One day every tongue will confess He is God and one day every knee will bow. Still the greatest treasure remains for those who gladly choose him now. I think that the signs and the commentary on this site just go to show how bad we as humans really are. I for one give thanks for God showing me and others (if they are honest with themselves) how much we need a Savior. We need to stop comparing ourselves to one another and use the plumb line of God’s perfectness to access our sinfulness as humans. He has given us a gift of self awareness to know that none are perfect. Sin=death. Thanks be to God that he sent his Son, Jesus Christ to die on the cross to pay the death price for our sins if we with REPENTANT hearts would accept His gift of life. It is in your hearts to know the truth. Please stop suppressing what you know in your heart to be the truth. The fool has said in their heart no God. Remember… He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
August 5th, 2008 at 4:22 am
Church is good. God is Good!
JT
http://www.FireMe.To/udi
August 5th, 2008 at 4:41 am
Decided to back up pratak… Northside Baptist is in North Carolina, and St Luke Methodist is in Georgia. Those sound like southeast states to me. Not sure about the rest.
August 5th, 2008 at 4:42 am
“The ones about the sacred cow an the jews were really sick..
i thought Americans were tolerant people…
its really sad!!”
Are you kidding me? Sacred cows are fed well, and well-fed cattle make for some great beef! Eating a sacred hamburger is probably going to piss off quite a few people, but that doesn’t mean it won’t taste good.
Oh by the way, we did wipe out the Native Americans, throw Japanese Americans in concentration camps, and keep African Americans from the voting booth until recently. But we Americans are tolerant, as long as they’re like us. If you ever say the word bomb at an airport, you’ll see how tolerant we are.
August 5th, 2008 at 4:45 am
Shows how desperate many church leaders are to get new people in there to keep the due coming.
Osama… Obama …..
That should get your tax exempt status revoked right there.
Sacred cows make the best burgers ?
I guess the guy running the church propaganda is too uneducated to know he is insulting Hindu’s not Muslims. Cow’s are not sacrad
It’s a complete joke to think these are our centers of moral leadership. That’s what unregulated, untaxed, unlawful operation of a cult gets you.
A bunch of brainwashed idiots.
August 5th, 2008 at 4:53 am
I didn’t ask Jesus to die for my sins
August 5th, 2008 at 5:02 am
Random thoughts by Alix.
August 5th, 2008 at 5:14 am
I actually thought the “What’s missing from ch rch, UR” was quite clever. The rest I just shook my head.
August 5th, 2008 at 5:27 am
Am I missing something here? I don’t see anything unusual about the signs at all. Most of it rings true. We are just scared to say it in this PC world. Bravo to the churchs for saying what is really on our minds. Remember you don’t have a right to not be offended. I do have a right to offend you though. I just can’t take away your right to life, liberty, or your property. Get over it you bleeding heart liberals.
August 5th, 2008 at 5:32 am
Dear lord, save me from your followers.
August 5th, 2008 at 5:58 am
Mr C.,
When the Jews killed Christ
Most of the stories about Jesus’s death are in a book called the “Bible”. You can probably find a copy, if you ask around. Once you manage to get your hands one, read the parts called the “Gospels”. As you’ll then see, the Jews didn’t kill Jesus. The Italians did.
But I gather from your post that you’re a Christian. You might want to be careful about the whole bible-reading thing then. Read it carefully, and you just might find that there’s not as much reason to believe what you do as you currently think there is.
August 5th, 2008 at 6:05 am
Levetiracetam,
Remember you don’t have a right to not be offended. I do have a right to offend you though.
So I take it you’re a big supporter of PZ Myers against people like Bill Donohue and Ken Ham, then.
In fairness, I must concede that churches like many of those whose signs are shown here do provide a valuable service, if as you say they disclose what people like you really think. Sunlight is the best disinfectant and all that.
August 5th, 2008 at 6:10 am
here is something that will burn your toast… we were atheists before religions… God created us as atheists, but we dont exist so can we be here? any of us?
August 5th, 2008 at 6:17 am
Im kind of surprised to see the Sacred Cows one. Thats a quote from Mark Twain, who was never a great fan of the church.
August 5th, 2008 at 6:26 am
@ Leaveatiredasstammy
Moronic sentences will always ring true to a moron. I guess these churches do say what’s on your mind.
Nobody here seems offended by such stupidity. We are just mocking and laughing at them. As much as we are mocking and laughing at you. Are you offended now?
@Seraphim & Mr. C
Take your piss-poor apologetics and blow it out your ass!
@ dell
I see you’re trying to be reasonable, but look up this phrase: “No True Scotsman Fallacy”.
August 5th, 2008 at 7:00 am
Thank you budbear. Case closed.
August 5th, 2008 at 7:17 am
Jenna: (Aug 4, 11:39) “Will the road your on lead you to me?” - Aside from poor grammar, the sign kinda frightens me, because I’m thinking, “God, I hope not!”
Hehe! Jenna calls upon God in her own plea - surely a classic convert-in-denial.
August 5th, 2008 at 7:17 am
Budbear:
I did look up the statement and I see your point.
I guess I will pose this question just out of morbid curiosity: Has anyone been to a church that was not like any of these(signs) churches?
August 5th, 2008 at 9:19 am
my favorite from around L.A.:
“to lick the devil, fall on your knees.”
August 5th, 2008 at 9:26 am
“Sacred cows make the best burgers”
And consecrated hosts make the best Super Bowl snacks!
Oh wait, I might get death threats for that one. Except that only “muslims would be ready to kill people indiscriminately.”
*sigh*
Oh wait, but I don’t exist!
August 5th, 2008 at 9:39 am
dell,
Has anyone been to a church that was not like any of these(signs) churches?
Well, for starters, I think that your question in fairness really refers only to some of those signs. Some of them are obviously the work of evil people. Some of the others, though, don’t really tell us anything other than that the minister is incapable of being voluntarily amusing and/or capable of being involuntarily hilarious.
That said, though: yes. Used to belong to one, in fact.
It was full of very kind, decent people who thought Christianity was about applying the ideals of the Sermon on the Mount rather than about Demonising Homos and Sluts. They spent a lot of their own time and money on things like feeding and housing poor people, without worrying about whether those people would thank them, let alone come to share their beliefs. (So no, not all Christians are hate-filled, benighted, superstitious bigots. Why, for every thousand horrible Christians like that, there must be at least one like the nice Christians at my church.)
But although the Christians at my old church are for the most part wonderful people who do a lot of good and whose beliefs are benign, I no longer think I have any valid grounds for holding those beliefs. I don’t think they have any valid grounds for their beliefs either, though I concede their beliefs do inspire them to do good things (and fair play to them for it). But their beliefs, and the reasons they would give you for holding them, are exactly as valid as those of the far more malevolent sort of Christians who infest the American body politic.
August 5th, 2008 at 9:54 am
Half those movies weren’t even filmed in California (”La La Land”), dumb-ass backwater hick. You probably see half of these signs on your way to work at Wendy’s.
August 5th, 2008 at 10:15 am
Religion is for sad people that can’t think on their own. They use “God” to be responsible for their actions. You hear of horrible crimes committed, then the person “finds God” and now God takes responsibility for their behavior. Religion is used as a form of control on the masses. The Ancient Greeks used it, Egyptians. Religion will do nothing but bring confusion and harm to humanity until it is completly removed from civilization. Christianity has a pretty bloody track record. How many wars were fought over religion? How many people died over “faith” or lack there of. Until we can realized that religion is just a way to control and manipulate, our species will never evolve. All religions need to go. Only then will we find “peace”.
August 5th, 2008 at 10:45 am
I was planning to make a contribution, but then I saw there was no Preview button.
August 5th, 2008 at 11:40 am
Lord please soften the hearts of these people.
I am not surprised or mad at all of these hateful and off color comments. Even the one from (ThatGirl). Lost people act lost. One can’t be upset by that. We need only worry when saved people act lost. This does no good at all.
This world has been judged and is going to die. To try to make things better in this world by our own understanding is like rearranging the furniture on the Titanic. It might look good for a moment but friend, it is going down. you are sitting there polishing silverware and I am screaming to you to get on the lifeboat. I can tell of a lifeboat and his name is Jesus Christ. Hop on board.
God loves you and so do I.
August 5th, 2008 at 11:56 am
Mr. C,
bon voyage!
August 5th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
Mrs Tilton,
You are very funny. I have enjoyed your comments. BTW, are you any relation to the false teacher Robert Tilton?
August 5th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
Seems only (loony B.A.C.) churches indulge in this silly, witless punnery and cheap word play. Things must not be going to well for them. Never saw a atheist gathering that needed such to invoke interest.
August 5th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
Too bad they didn’t say anything about the Genesis verse, “We will make man in our image, in our likeness” Wonder which god they were reffering to in the signs.
August 5th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
The first time I saw the CH _ _ CH one, I didn’t see the UR right away, and the first thing that popped into my head was “Cheech? Like Cheech and Chong?”
August 5th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
Mr. C,
are you any relation to the false teacher Robert Tilton?
Except in the sense that all descendants of the Most Recent Common Ancestor are related, I am morally certain that I am not.
August 5th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
Mrs Tilton,
I have enjoyed your comments very much. You sound as if you are a very well spoken person. I am looking forward to reading up on who killed Christ. One thing that I believe is that Jesus is the only human that chose to die. I believe he had the power to live if he wanted but he chose to die according to his fathers will. He always lived in the perfect will of the father. If it were me I would have taken out the whole town in one big punch and left three or four standing for show. I believe he could have done it. So for that reason it really does not matter who did it. It was the death (separation from God)itself that made the atonement not the act of murder. On the third day He rose again according to the Scriptures? Any thoughts?
August 5th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
So, we look like God, right? He’s always portrayed in religious painting as so, and that “we are made in his image”, and he’s always referred to as a ,an, the Father, right? That means that God has a sex, even Jesus referred to him as his father, right? We’ll if he’s male and has a sex then he must have a penis. Doesn’t that mean the there is a Mrs God?
August 5th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Mr. C,
My thoughts? I think those are all stories. Some to be sure might have some grain of historical truth behind them. (Was there an itinerant Essene-influenced rabbi* called Yeshua in 1st c. Roman Palestine? I’m sure there were quite a few. Did one of them end on a Roman cross? Probably; perhaps several did. The Romans were hard men.) But what believers make a big deal of are stories.
Some of those stories are horrible, some are lovely; many are simply weird or quaint. Large stretches of the bible are literary wasteland, but many patches are literary marvels. (My faves? Ecclesiastes; about half of Job; life breathed back into the bones of the valley. As for the non-Hebrew bits, Paul had many atrocious notions, but could turn an occasional phrase with the best of them, or at least his Jacobean translators could.) But all in all, just stories.
Did Jesus choose to die? If he could have escaped and elected not to, then I suppose he did. Don’t see how we’ll ever know, though. But lots of other people have chosen to die; I’ve known some of them. I believe that choice is frowned upon in your community, so you’re letting Jesus off lightly if you ask me.
* One often hears Jesus referred to, by Christians and non-Christians alike, as a “rabbi”. But other than as an honorific form of address, I think reading that term in his day to mean what it means today is something of an anachronism, given that Jesus was dead a few hundred years before the Talmud, the foundation stone of rabbinic Judaism, was compiled. And ironically given his frequent criticism of the perushim (pharisees), Jesus was despite the ascetic Essene touches squarely withing the tradition of pharisaic Judaism. Jacob Neusner, a Jewish scholar, wrote a book about Jesus that might interest you.
August 5th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
Jonas,
We’ll if he’s male and has a sex then he must have a penis. Doesn’t that mean the there is a Mrs God?
ah, I see that you have independently discovered Mormon theology! Some of their stories are even cooler than the ones in the bible. But I suspect they’d work better in comic-book format.
August 5th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
I saw one in Northern Ontario the other day that said, “Sign broken: message inside.”
I thought it was kind of cute. It was on a Christian Fellowship Assembly or some such so fairly Protestant.
August 5th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
@god doesn’t exist -
you say that the only way humans will truly evolve and find “peace” is if religion is removed. Sounds like Christoper Hitchins to me, but let me rebuttle that with saying this: Stalin and Hitler tried to do those things in their realm of power what happened? between the two almost 30 million dead. China has attempted to squash religion (christianity most furvently) and has killed a number estimated in the millions. Be careful when you say that mankind attempting to flush out religion will cause “peace”. If there is one constant in the world it is that there are always evil people, and evil people will always cause violence. The atheist regimes of stalin and Hitler caused more death than the crusades - which was over a much longer period of time. Yes Christianity has a bloody track record - one I wish did not exist, but it would be naive to believe that religion is the source of human evil; humans, whether religious or not, have a long history of malevolence.
@Mrs. Tilton -
I appreciate your reply to my question, I find it very interesting and insightful. What was it that made you decide to cease believing in the Christian faith?
August 5th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
She opened her eyes to the wonders of the universe, went to her local science museum and decided superstition is for the ignorant.
(Note: ignorance can be cured but stupidity is with you til you die.)
August 5th, 2008 at 4:59 pm
Well put Mrs. Tilton. I must say I need to do some homework before I match wits with the likes of you. You said you know other people who chose to die. My thinking is that they did not choose to die but rather they chose the time of their death. Jesus chose to die according to the Fathers will and rose again according to the Scriptures I might add…
August 5th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
To Mr. Tilton
Is science a religion?
August 5th, 2008 at 5:24 pm
The Jews killed Jesus so the Christians wouldn’t have to.
After all, no death, then no ressurection, and no salvation. The Christians are the only people with a vested interest in Jesus’ death.
I, an atheist, would happily have rescued the guy from the cross if I was in a position to do so. Oddly enough, I can’t get a Christian to say he would have done the same thing.
August 5th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
@ Dell:
Hilter was not an atheist. He was a Catholic. Ever read Mein Kampf?
August 5th, 2008 at 6:02 pm
go to bed Dennis, your drunk. You too another ben…
August 5th, 2008 at 6:23 pm
dell,
Stalin and Hitler tried to do those things
Hitler at least was no atheist, and did not attempt to create an atheist regime. He attacked the churches when they stood in his way, but supported them when they supported him (as, to their shame, they often did).
The institutional RC church was a great enabler of the nazis. (They will tell you today that they were nazism’s fiercest opponents, but I have read the “anti-nazi” papal bull Mit brennender Sorge and can assure you that, compared with that bull’s “condemnations”, the RC church musters up far fiercer opposition to such greater horrors as gay people, condoms and lady priests.) Similarly, the institutional Lutheran church allowed itself to be remade in Hitler’s image as the Deutsche Christen (”German Christians”).
In fairness I have to note that there were also individual catholics, and even some high-ranking prelates, who opposed Hitler, and there were Lutherans who formed the Bekennende Kirche (”Confessing Church”) as a church-within-a-church in opposition to the Deutsche Christen. But so what? That merely shows that Christians are pretty much like other humans — some evil, some good; most somewhere in between but likely to follow the path of least resistance. Nothing to make me think Christians are superior in a by-their-fruits-ye-shall-know-them sort of way and much to make me think that most of them are either hypocrites or dupes. (In other words, and to paraphrase Mark Twain’s ironic anti-anti-semitic statement about the Jews, they are as bad as the rest of us; not exactly a compelling argument for a walk down to the altar.)
What was it that made you decide to cease believing in the Christian faith?
A fair question. Nothing made me decide that; you’ve got things back-to-front. I did not decide to cease believing, I decided that I longer had (and in fact had never had) sounds reasons to believe in the first place.
Even in the days of my most fervent belief, it was clear to me that most of what we understand as “religion” is mere human invention. That’s not controversial, by the way. Every thoughtful religious person has always known that as well, including the authors of the New Testament. But if the statement that “Christianity [or for that matter any other religion] is true” means anything, it means that at least some essential core of what makes up “the Christian [or again, whatever other] religion” is not something humans thought up but rather the revelation of the deity (or, in other religions perhaps, deities).
My religious beliefs were very mainstream, theologically speaking: squarely within the reformed tradition [for those readers not hep to this sort of thing, that means the part of the protestant tradition tracing its reformation roots to Calvin and Zwingli rather than Luther and Melanchthon]. They emphasised God’s grace as free gift, and love as our response to that gift. They downplayed legalism; my fellow believers and I would have agreed strongly with Augustine when he wrote, “Love God and do what you will”. (I always thought it ironic, and still do, that so many church buildings of my former denomination have a tablet of the Decalogue up front.) And God’s gift of redemption, I thought, was that really divine essential part of my religion, underlying all the stuff we had imagined for ourselves. I meant what I said upthread: I thought the chapter of Ezekiel in which God breathes life back into the dead bones scattered in the valley a metaphor for what God’s grace did to us as-yet unregenerate sinners. And I thought it among the most beautiful and moving passages that I have ever read. (I still do, even if I no longer think there is anything “divine” about it.)
I did not come by my religious beliefs early or easily (more Augustine for you!). Perhaps if I had believed the way I did from childhood all the way through, I wouldn’t have kept thinking about it so much. But I didn’t, and so I did. And as I thought about it over the years, I had to admit that I believed the things I did (we’ll refer to these collectively as “X”) for two reasons. One, because somebody claiming to speak with authority told me that X was true. Two, because I simply wanted X to be true.
Now in the first case, the people telling me that X was true mostly didn’t claim to speak on their own authority. They claimed that God had told them that X was true. (We didn’t go in much for direct revelations and so on, so what they meant was that they had read in a book that some people had said X was true.) With time, I came to see that I can’t believe something simply because somebody tells me to do so. (To anticipate your possible rejoinder that I should then not believe that, say, Napoleon died in 1821 merely because some book tells me he did. I would not believe that Napoleon died then if the only evidence were that some book said so, and even less if any available evidence suggested the book was wrong.)
In the second case, things aren’t true simply because we want them to be true, no matter how sincere or heartfelt our longing. As a kid I engaged in a lot of wishful thinking. So did you. So has every child that ever lived. But when we become adults (I am sure you will agree) we should put away childish things. I’ve tried to do so. The results weren’t so good for my former religious beliefs. I suppose it’s not for nothing that a more honest, or least more self-aware, part of the Christian bible counsels us not to stop being like children.
So in short, nothing made me stop being a Christian. I stopped being a Christian because Christianity couldn’t provide good, valid reasons for continuing to be a Christian.
All this is probably much more answer than you’d been hoping for, but I like to think that sincere religionists asking sincere questions deserve sincere answers rather than snark. In return, I’d ask nothing more than that you give serious thought to why you believe what you do. And never stop doing so. If I am wrong and you are right, your beliefs deserve nothing less than to be constantly tested so that you can offer a compelling defence for them (and 1 Peter 3:15 agrees with me here). If I am right and you are wrong, then you owe it to yourself to make your own rigorous, rational decision rather than deferring to what you have heard or what you would wish were true.
Of course I hope you’ll change your mind, because I think I am right, because truth is good, and because we all wish what is good for people of good will. But as long as you seriously question yourself as to why you believe what you do, I won’t hate you for continuing to be a Christian. I’ll regret the fact, and I’ll regard you as deluded. (NB: I mean this in a technical and not insulting sense: somebody who believes something without evidence for that thing.) But I know a lot of Christians who are very good people, and I recognise that it is their Christian beliefs that inspire them to do good (or at least, they believe it is their beliefs that do that). If you must remain a Christian (or a theist of any other sort), then I hope you will be the sort who focuses on the feed-the-hungry, clothe-the-poor, turn-the-other-cheek stuff and, when it comes to judging others or attempting to force your views on society as a whole, recalls the words of your saviour: “What is that to thee? Follow thou me”. If you do that, you might be no less deluded, but you won’t do much harm and might do a fair bit of good.
August 5th, 2008 at 6:51 pm
Mrs. Tilton
I was thinking about the whole science thing and it brought up a few things that I have questions about.
1) Where did matter come from?
2) Where did the laws of the universe come from (gravity, inertia, etc.)?
3) how did matter get so perfectly organized?
4) Which evolved first (how and how long, did it work without the others)?
a) The digestive system, the food to be digested, the appetite, the abiltity to find food and eat the food, the digestive juices, or the body’s resistance to it’s own digestive juice (stomach, intestines, etc.)?
b) The immune system or the need for it?
c)DNA or Rna to carry the DNa message?
d) The drive to reproduce or the ability to reproduce?
5) Is it possible that similarities in design between different animals prove a common creator instead of a common ancestor?
Two quotes from Charles Darwin himself…
1) “Alas, how frequent, how almost universal it is in an author to persuade himself of the truth of his own dagmas.”
I for one will keep this in mind when when scientists proclaim the theory of evolution as “fact.”
2) “To suppose that the eye could have formed by natural selection, seems, I freely confess, absurd in the highest degree”.
Your comments please.
August 5th, 2008 at 7:30 pm
Well It is 10:40 pm here on the east coast. I have to get up at 5:00 am and alas I am off to bed to spend some time with my lovely bride of 11 years. She is as pretty as ever and I just can’t stand to spend another moment without her. I will be up bright and early @ 5:00 am for work and I eagerly wait to see what the cyber world has for me in the morning. Please sleep well and I will continue our friendly talks tomorrow. Did I mention I love my wife? She is awesome!!!
August 5th, 2008 at 8:11 pm
Mrs. Tilton -
I deeply thank-you for your heartfelt and sincere response. I wasn’t looking for a quick snark answer and I extend my gratitude for giving me more than that. I have always challenged and searched my beliefs(i honestly tried to convince myself that God didn’t exist, that the bible was a fairy tale). I ask myself almost every day “why do I believe what I do” I, like you, am a person who refuses to take what someone tells me as truth without being able to show it to me.
August 5th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
furthermore - I apologize I accidentally submitted that above portion before I had finished.
I do aplogize for the wording of my statement I thought for a few minutes about how to say cause i didn’t want it to sound like something, “made” or “caused” this as if you didn’t come to it on your own.
For me, the deciding factor and something I cannot deny is the experience of the miraculous in my life. In the end I can argue all I want til I am blue in the face trying to “prove” christianity or what not; but, what I have learned is that it is impossible to “prove” God exists(remember Jesus’ words to Thomas, “you have seen and so you believe, blessed is he who believes and has not seen”) - which I know for many people immediately puts me in the realm of: idiot, moron, stupid, and even evil. But, what I have also found in life is that many things are impossible to “prove” beyond the shadow of a doubt.
I have had experiences in my life - both personally and with friends and family - that make me unable to refuse that there is a God. Experiences in which science itself admits it cannot explain. I have personally experienced healing from asthme, I know a lady who had cancer in almost every cell in her body - today - before any treatment began, she is cancer free(literally overnight). Why do these things happen? As the bible demonstrates(even though many do not teach it this way) it is to prove that God exists.
I am not saying all of this with any agenda that my words will somehow make you “see the light’ or anything. I just thought that your honest and sincere words as to why you believe what you do deserved an honest sincere answer back. I appreciate your civility in this, as many will write me off as ignorant and stupid because I believe in a God.
August 5th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
Some are rather witty. And some are just plain scary.
August 5th, 2008 at 9:18 pm
wow, this is endless!! There is no way of proving each other right or wrong!!! STOP ARGUING!! Each person will believe what they feel is most comfortable in their life! Stop forcing your religion onto others and start doing what your religion asks you to do!! be nice!!!
August 5th, 2008 at 9:18 pm
This is why all American Christians must die.
August 5th, 2008 at 10:34 pm
it’s kind of sad that church need to advertise in such a worldly way to attract church-goers. they try to use catchy words or use current hot topics as a lure. i believe churches should go back to the Bible, to God’s Words. IMHO churches should be the cornerstone pointing to the Bible.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:06 am
Eddie van helsing or should I say mohammed achmed mehmet?
Are you a muzzelman?
A hatebeard?
It looks like it. Only muslims have an unheathly urge to kill christiaans where ever they find them.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:57 am
Http://www.whywontgodhealamputees.com holds all the answers!
August 6th, 2008 at 4:07 am
[The comments box ate my earlier response, apparently because it contained two URLs. So here's the gist of it again, with no links.]
Mr C.,
Your comments please
My comment is that you have done nothing but cut and paste a laundry list of creationist talking points; in particular, the bits at the end are egregious quote-mining, a much-loved technique among creationists.
If you really think the quotation about the eye shows that Darwin didn’t think it the product of natural selection, then you obviously haven’t read the passage in question (which goes on for about three pages after that sentence, arguing that the eye is the product of selection and offering multiple examples and evidence) but are simply copying something you saw quote-mined in some fundie tract. If so, there’s no point talking with you until you have acquired at least a basic familiarity with what you think you’re talking about. Find talk.origins’ “Index of Creationist Claims” (the first URL in my earlier comment) and look for the bit about Darwin and that passage on the eye. And while you’re there, check out the rest of the Index (the second URL I’d given), which dispatches the rest of the talking points you’ve parrotted and many, many more besides. I’m sorry that this website’s parameters (or my own stupidity perhaps) keep me from being able to give you the URLs, but Google is your friend.
And if you really do know the passage in question and yet still quote that first sentence to persuade people that Darwin thought what you claim he thought, then you are astonishingly dishonest and there is no point in talking with you, full stop. But without evidence that this is the case, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and conclude that you are the dupe of a quote-miner rather than a quote-miner yourself.
August 6th, 2008 at 5:08 am
Mrs. Tilton
I have never seen the passage in question. A friend sent that quote to me a while back and I pulled it out. I did not realize there was a passage that it was pulled from quite honestly so for that, please excuse me.
I thought it was interesting though. I wasn’t really trying to persude you into anything. I just thought I would throw the quote out, that’s all.
The questions that I asked are just that, questions. They are not really intended to change your mind but rather they are to get one thinking about things. No matter what anyone thinks or believes, I still think they are valid questions worth asking. By the way, I got them from the Evidence Bible from Ray Comfort. He Inserted pages that have info that sort of follow along with the Bible.
I did not mean to offend you.
From this point forward…
“For I determined not to know anything among you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified.”
(cut and pasted from my Bible)
August 6th, 2008 at 5:17 am
Ok, I want to study philosophy with Mrs. Tilton! Furthermore, I’d attend her lectures if she was willing to travel to the US to give such lectures!
It is thoroughly refreshing to read Mrs. Tilton’s well-written, well-thought out arguments.
Just to weigh in on the church issue, I recently discovered the Unitarian Universalist Church - less a church based on any dogma than a community of people committed to both seeking their own answers to life’s big questions and a community of people working to make the world a better place through numerous social justice projects. UU churches welcome tolerant, open-minded seekers of all sorts, from those who have no name for their personal beliefs to Agnostics, Atheists, Buddhists, Christians, Pagans, Wiccans, and on and on.
I wonder whether there are interfaith groups like this to any great degree outside of America, but wonder if it would be too dangerous in many places.
At any rate, wonderful discussion and very interesting signs. One of my favorites of all time (and I don’t have a photo) is a flier posted in a women’s restroom: “Do you have a God-shaped hole in your life?”
August 6th, 2008 at 5:34 am
Actually, Paul, I’d like to see Islam eradicated from the earth as well. However, since this page’s topic is church signs, and not mosque signs, I had decided to stick to Christian-bashing. Of course, since you insist, here’s a hearty “DEATH TO ISLAM!!” just for you.
(Did you know that Allah fucks pigs? That’s why Muslims aren’t allowed to eat pork.)
August 6th, 2008 at 6:37 am
Well look at that. My earlier, URL-laden comment turns up after all! A miracle, surely.
August 6th, 2008 at 7:21 am
I loved the signs!!! Thats great. These are super duper. True Americana. These are so true!
August 6th, 2008 at 8:31 am
The vagina is a mysterous creature
all mangled and covered with hair
it looks like the face of Mrs. Tilton
and smells like the ass of a bear
August 6th, 2008 at 8:31 am
Christianity is not monoteistic. There are 2 gods. One called “god” and another called “satan”. You cannot be a christian and not believe in satan.
Atheists don’t believe in any gods at all (and therefore don’t believe in satan) but christians believe in satan as well as god!
That said how can non-christians go to hell? They don’t believe in god or satan. They are not christians so christian rules and beliefs do not apply to non-christians. In the same way that vegetarian rules do not apply to non-vegetarians.
August 6th, 2008 at 9:20 am
Rusty,
The vagina is a mysterous creature
Yes, I’m sure vaginas are quite a mystery to you, and they’re likely to remain so. When you’re discussing them with your chums, I suggest you say they feel like a bag of sand.
August 6th, 2008 at 9:33 am
Mrs. Tilton
bag of sand you say?
That is how my ball sack would feel bouncing on your chin.
August 6th, 2008 at 10:03 am
I forgot to share the fact that I don’t shave my balls so it would be like a hairy bag of sand. I hope that sort of thing doesn’t bother you.
I also make little cars out of my poop. THey are really fun to play with.
August 6th, 2008 at 10:04 am
Rusty,
That is how my ball sack would feel bouncing on your chin
For any number of reasons, that’s not something I’m likely ever to feel. And dangerous for you, I might add. As your “sack” was bouncing away, there’d be a very high possibility it would become lodged in a skin-pore.
Anyway, you are Jeff Godlstein and I claim my five pounds.
August 6th, 2008 at 10:09 am
I don’t shave my balls…. I also make little cars out of my poop. THey are really fun to play with
Yes. Well, from the sound of things, the question of whether to shave your balls will remain a hypothetical one for many years to come.
August 6th, 2008 at 10:17 am
I am going to cover my balls with gold bond powder and then soak them in icecream. Who is Jeff Godlstein?
August 6th, 2008 at 10:22 am
I’ve been reading some of this and I just have to say… This shit is absolutely hilarious. I’m glad you’re setting these idiots straight Tilton.
August 6th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
Give me a call some time Rusty. I would love to get to know you better. I might even show you my wisker biscuit.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
Wow… I think Mrs. Tilton’s comments are more interesting (or, shall I say, insightful and fun to read) than the content this page was created for!
Do you have a blog, Mrs. Tilton? I’d love to read if you had one!
I’m… I don’t know what I am. I don’t believe in a god, and I suppose in that way I’m athiest. Maybe I’m just “Live and let Live-ist.” Believe what you like, just don’t try to smoosh it in my face (or try to pretend you know it all and are right, despite evidence to the contrary).
August 6th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
I should point out that the “Mrs Tilton” immediately above is not I. It’s easy to tell, because I wouldn’t have misspelled a simple word like “whisker”. (I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that the poster was in fact our young friend Rusty. And fair play to him: every boy should have an active fantasy life.)
I have to say that I quite like Rusty. At first I thought he was a slavering Christian who had slipped the leash. But then it became clear that he is all about the shite-stirring. And I like that in a ten year old.
But I’m afraid I really have no interest in getting to know him better, in the biblical or any other sense.
August 6th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
God bless Photoshop. Some of the more offensive ones are photoshop. Especially the tsunami, aids, war one and the osama, obama one. Sacred cows seems impossible but looks legit. I think some of this is anti-Christian propaganda.
August 6th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
The Obama Osama one was not real. Clearly doctored.
August 6th, 2008 at 5:09 pm
Nope, it’s real. Google ‘Obama osama church’ and click the first link.
August 6th, 2008 at 7:24 pm
yo, peeps, stop writing novels back and forth and simply shut up and laugh at the silly pictures, if you ain’t got a sense of humor i doubt even your gods or science will help you survive in this world.
August 6th, 2008 at 7:37 pm
No, they’re not photoshopped. I live in West Virginia (Yeah. Let it sink in.) and you should see some of the ones around here. People are fucking insane. Go in some public bathrooms and you’ll see Bible-themed posters. -_____-
(Note: Do you see Pagans pull this kind of shit? No. That’s all I’ll say.)
@Rusty: Kid, put down the bong, take your Lithium and go to bed.
August 6th, 2008 at 8:14 pm
“To try to make things better in this world by our own understanding is like rearranging the furniture on the Titanic. ”
And it is the scary comments like that scream of hopelessness and a lack of compassion for the suffering of those in this world. Tsk tsk.
August 6th, 2008 at 9:38 pm
YOU ALL SUCK.
Amen.
August 6th, 2008 at 10:31 pm
First off, I am not the foremost expert to be answering these questions, so I’ll just provide simple answers as I understand them. If you want a better answer, go to Talk Origins, or watch the evolution/creationism videos on youtube made by DonExodus2, Thunderf00t, Andromedaswake, cdk007, potholer54, potholer54 debunks, and Aronra.
1) Where did matter come from?
The big bang, because matter is essentially energy. Much of the finer aspects of the big bang is still theoretical, but few scientists disagree with the concept as a whole.
2) Where did the laws of the universe come from (gravity, inertia, etc.)?
Chemistry and physics, simply put. The four fundamental forces, gravity, weak and strong forces, and electromagnetic. You can easily ask “well, why does gravity work?” and I could only tell you that this is still largely unknown (but not unknowable.)
3) how did matter get so perfectly organized?
Well, perfect is a very subjective word, but you will find order and patterns based on the above forces. Look at the rippling dunes in a desert, all the long lines of sand that form naturally in the wind. Or at snowflakes, how each is unique and symetrical. Evolution is by far no pretty mechanism; adaption literally depends on the death of less adapted peers and is a very ugly system, but it works. Richard Dawkins has some interesting views based off of his book “The Selfish Gene” that argues that only humans are able to escape such a vicious cycle, and for that we should be much more understanding of life and humanity as a whole because of it.
A common creationist argument is based on arguing how perfect earth is for life. Well, what they don’t really take into consideration is the vast, vast number of potential planets out there who have several conditions required for life (as we know it.) Therefore, the proof that we are here now is not that a designer must have formed the solar system just for us, but that we are only alive here and now because the conditions were right here and not elsewhere.
4) Which evolved first (how and how long, did it work without the others)?
a) The digestive system, the food to be digested, the appetite, the ability to find food and eat the food, the digestive juices, or the body’s resistance to it’s own digestive juice (stomach, intestines, etc.)?
I’m not really educated enough to answer this. If you have the History Channel, they ran a program on the evolution of guts that answers these questions, but if not then you can simply google “evolution of guts.” Try to avoid the sites that claim they are “irreducibly complex,” that is a creationism argument that has been disproven for the eye and flagellum.
5) Is it possible that similarities in design between different animals prove a common creator instead of a common ancestor?
Possibly, but if you conclude that all animals that exist today have always existed, then how does one explain the fossil record that shows how simple life is found predictably lower than more modern, complex life? DonExodus2 has a good video on this called “Why same designer, same genes is not a valid argument.”
Even though you ask many of the same questions as many other Christians, I believe it is out of a desire to learn more. You haven’t closed your mind off to reason due to preconceived notions. More people should do that, Christian and atheist alike.
I’d also like to praise Mrs. Tilton for her wit and maturity.
August 6th, 2008 at 10:36 pm
The more The Gospel is revealed to unbelievers and the more unbelievers reject the The Gospel, the worse the unbelievers condemnation will be on the Day of Judgement. In other words the more you reject Gods truth about who you are the worse your torment will be in Hell. Godspeed!
August 6th, 2008 at 11:20 pm
Seraphim, you of course realize that Muslims say the exact same thing regarding Christianity? I don’t take the threat from you any more seriously than you probably take from them.
August 7th, 2008 at 2:30 am
“So, basically, I have to sacrifice myself…
…to myself…
in order to change a rule that I made… myself!”
–God (supposedly)
August 7th, 2008 at 3:48 am
and one of the most amusing parts is that they spelt Chanukah wrong…
August 7th, 2008 at 4:02 am
Would you be free from the burden of sin?
There’s power in the blood, power in the blood;
Would you over evil a victory win?
There’s wonderful power in the blood.
There is power, power, wonder working power
In the blood of the Lamb;
There is power, power, wonder working power
In the precious blood of the Lamb.
Would you be free from your passion and pride?
There’s power in the blood, power in the blood;
Come for a cleansing to Calvary’s tide;
There’s wonderful power in the blood.
There is power, power, wonder working power
In the blood of the Lamb;
There is power, power, wonder working power
In the precious blood of the Lamb.
Would you be whiter, much whiter than snow?
There’s power in the blood, power in the blood;
Sin stains are lost in its life giving flow.
There’s wonderful power in the blood.
There is power, power, wonder working power
In the blood of the Lamb;
There is power, power, wonder working power
In the precious blood of the Lamb.
Would you do service for Jesus your King?
There’s power in the blood, power in the blood;
Would you live daily His praises to sing?
There’s wonderful power in the blood.
There is power, power, wonder working power
In the blood of the Lamb;
There is power, power, wonder working power
In the precious blood of the Lamb.
August 7th, 2008 at 4:56 am
Interesting how the above quoted song equates “whiteness” with righteousness/ salvation. I can really see how white supremacists could just take the song, and many of the bible’s verses, in their own direction. Disturbing.
Religious songs themselves are interesting in that they aren’t bible verses, though they are often based on them. One cannot claim that a religious song conveys much religious authority because it isn’t a source: it’s based on a source. This one is an older tune, written by Lewis E. Jones in 1899, but there are so many ’70s era songs based on things like Gordon Lightfoot tunes. Any rate, it’s better to quote from a recognized religious source when attempting to effect conversion - instead of a song best sung when one knows one is “preaching to the choir.”
Here is Joe Hill’s meaningful rendition:
Would you have freedom from wage slavery,
Then join in the grand Industrial band;
Would you from mis’ry and hunger be free,
Then come! Do your share, like a man.
Chorus:
There is pow’r, there is pow’r
In a band of workingmen.
When they stand hand in hand,
That’s a pow’r, that’s a pow’r
That must rule in every land–
One Industrial Union Grand.
Would you have mansions of gold in the sky,
And live in a shack, way in the back?
Would you have wings up in heaven to fly,
And starve here with rags on your back?
If you’ve had “nuff” of “the blood of the lamb,”
Then join in the grand Industrial band;
If, for a change, you would have eggs and ham.
Then come! Do your share, like a man.
If you like sluggers to beat off your head,
Then don’t organize, all unions despise,
If you want nothing before you are dead,
Shake hands with your boss and look wise.
Come, all ye workers, from every land,
Come join in the grand Industrial band.
Then we our share of this earth shall demand.
Come on! Do your share, like a man.
August 7th, 2008 at 5:24 am
Did you hear the lasted medical breakthrough?
Scientist have discovered that diarrhea is hereditary…
It runs in your jeans.
August 7th, 2008 at 5:27 am
It also spews out of Mrs. Tilton’s mouth like a river. Moreover, I could say the same to most of her cohorts who have joined hands in trash talk.
Furthur, Mrs. Tilton, I think you should give ol’ Rusty a taste of your affectionately discribed “whisker buscuit.” He sounds like he is right up your ally. Intellectual speaking of course.
August 7th, 2008 at 6:31 am
It is disturbing how people put up nonsense quotes and then attribute it to God.
They sign their BS quotes - GOD as if that will validate it.
Isn’t making up scriptures a sign of a false prophet!!?? The penalty for that was death.
I am also sick of the Virgin Mary and the face of Jesus popping up in trees, tortillas, toast, gutter stains, and window dirt.
I am waiting for the newspapers to run a story titled “The Face of Jesus in a Piece of Dog Shit”
Why is it acceptable to belittle Christianity?
Why do people put up horrible signs and stupid apparition stories making fun of religious beliefs?
This is just sad. People are so stupid and deceived.
August 7th, 2008 at 7:01 am
You shall not commit adultery(have sex with another person when you are married). If you do you are an adulterer.
You shall not have sex outside of marriage, if you do you are a fornicator, even masturbation is taken in to account here.
You shall not lie, if you do you are a lier.
You shall not murder, if you do you are a murderer.
You shall honor thy mother and father,
You shall not covet someone elses possession, if you do such is greed. If you do you are a coveter,
You shall not make idol, ieven money thesed days is the idol of many people.
You shall not take The Lord’s name in vain.
You shall keep the Sabbath Day holy.
You shall not worhip other gods, except The Lord your GOD.
The problem every human being on this planet has today is they have broken one or more of GOD”S commandments whether by action or thought. If you disobey or refuse to follow these commandents you sin against GOD and in GOD”S demand for moral perfection, GOD demands your blood, in justice, to pay for your sin; therefore you will die just like every other human being has died on this planet. If you have not accepted Christ’s payment on the Cross for your sins, then your physical death goes one step further into spiritual death, which is HELL, the place of eternal torment. Many people will suffer hell because they have rejected GOD and his gift that would pay the penalty of their sins, namely Jesus Christ. GOD doesn’t tolerate evil in any form and therefore HE will destroy it. Christ is will be back soon and will Rapture those who believe in HIM. Millions of Christians, those alive and dead, will disappear faster than 1/1100 of a second. If you are here when this has happened, you have been left behind because you chose not Christ. Know then GOD does exist and you must confess your sins before GOD and accept Christ’s gift of payment for you sins. If you do not, HELL awaits you. There is no other way for a human being to save themselves, except Jesus Christ who died on the Cross to pay for your sins.
August 7th, 2008 at 9:20 am
Serahpim I admire your encouragement, and it seems like you have everything figured out, but you do not.
“Millions of Christians, those alive and dead, will disappear faster than 1/1100 of a second.”
* this is a propaganda lie that was not invented until the 1820s!!*
the doctrine of the Rapture is not mentioned in any Christian writings before then.
look up Edward Irving, Miss Margaret, and John Darby.
then look up informationclearinghouse dot info for some facts about our wonderful government.
have you ever heard of Bohemian grove?
It’s a summer camp for the “Christian” leaders where the worship a 40′ owl sculpture.
Just some thoughts.
Number Of Iraqis Slaughtered In US War And Occupation Of Iraq “1,251,944″
Number of U.S. Military Personnel Sacrificed (Officially acknowledged) In U.S. War And Occupation Of Iraq 4,134
Cost of U.S. War and Occupation of Iraq
$543,132,963,899
Why is it religion is used to justify every bad thing ?
August 7th, 2008 at 10:06 am
It is not an Occupation it is a Liberation… Dumb ASS
August 7th, 2008 at 10:36 am
“Dumb ASS” ???????
Don’t blame others for your ignorance.
The United States has been building large, expensive and long-lasting military bases in Iraq as well as an enormous new embassy complex in Baghdad.
The US “New Embassy Compound,” under construction in the Green Zone in the center of Baghdad, will occupy 104 acres (which is the size of approximately 80 football fields)– ten times the size of the average US embassy and six times the size of the UN compound in New York.
August 7th, 2008 at 10:43 am
Depends on your point of view, liberation or occupation.
Again, Seraphim, some else is damning you to their concept of hell right now too because you didn’t believe what they believe. Statistically speaking you’re just slightly less likely to go to hell than I am.
has anyone else wondered why God is called “Father?” I don’t know any loving dads that threaten their children with flames and eternal damnation. Sounds like mental child abuse to me. And yet so many fundamentalist Christians feel the need to use this carrot-and-the-stick strategy to gain followers…
Regarding the ten commandments, if God made us and is omnipotent, then clearly he must have known that we would sin, and that many of us would not believe in him, his son, or even in religion at all. So he willingly created us imperfrect, knowing that he would be damning many of us to hell? That is a pretty sadistic god, and I find no reason to believe in one like that.
August 7th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
For more fun go to crummychurchsigns dot com. I always get a kick out of the bad theology, and the pithy comments about the bad theology.
August 7th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
My all-time favorite was an Assembly of God church near Rosamond, in the Mojave Desert of California. The sign read “Jesus - I Come Quickly.”
August 7th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Somewhere on a disk, I have a picture of a church sign near Moulton, AL… The place was originally a restaurant converted to a church. The sign reads:
CHURCH OF GOD
with a Pepsi logo under the words. It’s the Church of God of Pepsi.
August 7th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
Regardless of how men try to justify their sins, men to choose to sin as an act of free will. GOD has given us the gift of free will and men choose to use free will to commit sin or acts of evil. Man kind is inherently evil as the result of what Adam and Eve did out of free will, which was defy GOD. Man is not inherently good but inherently evil as a result. All one needs to do is watch the news and see just how much mankind breaks the ten commandments and tries to find ways to justify what he/she has done. Homosexuality is rampant, then next thing you will see on the news is someone trying to justify screwing an animal to satisfy his or her lusts. Even today mankind says Evil is Good and Good is Evil to justify what he or she does. Everyday men say everything is relative but actually everything is absolute. One day every man will die, not every man will live again! Take heed time is short.
August 7th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
For me, churches are simply legalized. tax-free cartels designed to make money by inculcating their followers with guilt and simultaneously holding out the false possibility of salvation.
Unfortunately for the churches, more and more people are catching on to the racket and have stopped going. Also, because of overly aggressive expansion, the market for churches is oversaturated at this point.
Therefore, churches end up resorting to any tactics they can think of to bring in new suckers (and to keep the suckers they already have). Silly/offensive signs are just one example of this.