Driving across the rural parts of America you'll undoubtedly notice the large number of churches that use their signs to try and draw people into their church with a joke or a pun or some good old fashioned fire and brimstone fear. The problem is, the comedy stylings of most church pastors is kind of like a combination of Yakov Smirnoff and Rush Limbaugh. You either get the world's crappiest puns or some sort of evil, hate filled message that's supposed to scare you into attending, or a totally awesome unintentional double entrendre. Either way, these signs are the only interesting thing to look at when you're driving from Pennsylvania to Colorado.
Um, what?
Now there's a well thought out marketing pitch.
OK, so maybe this one makes me want to go to church.
Am I missing something here? I don't see anything unusual about the signs at all. Most of it rings true. We are just scared to say it in this PC world. Bravo to the churchs for saying what is really on our minds. Remember you don't have a right to not be offended. I do have a right to offend you though. I just can't take away your right to life, liberty, or your property. Get over it you bleeding heart liberals.
Most of the stories about Jesus's death are in a book called the "Bible". You can probably find a copy, if you ask around. Once you manage to get your hands one, read the parts called the "Gospels". As you'll then see, the Jews didn't kill Jesus. The Italians did.
But I gather from your post that you're a Christian. You might want to be careful about the whole bible-reading thing then. Read it carefully, and you just might find that there's not as much reason to believe what you do as you currently think there is.
Remember you don’t have a right to not be offended. I do have a right to offend you though.
So I take it you're a big supporter of PZ Myers against people like Bill Donohue and Ken Ham, then.
In fairness, I must concede that churches like many of those whose signs are shown here do provide a valuable service, if as you say they disclose what people like you really think. Sunlight is the best disinfectant and all that.
here is something that will burn your toast... we were atheists before religions... God created us as atheists, but we dont exist so can we be here? any of us?
Moronic sentences will always ring true to a moron. I guess these churches do say what's on your mind.
Nobody here seems offended by such stupidity. We are just mocking and laughing at them. As much as we are mocking and laughing at you. Are you offended now?
@Seraphim & Mr. C
Take your piss-poor apologetics and blow it out your ass!
@ dell
I see you're trying to be reasonable, but look up this phrase: "No True Scotsman Fallacy".
Jenna: (Aug 4, 11:39) “Will the road your on lead you to me?” - Aside from poor grammar, the sign kinda frightens me, because I’m thinking, “God, I hope not!”
Hehe! Jenna calls upon God in her own plea - surely a classic convert-in-denial.
Budbear:
I did look up the statement and I see your point.
I guess I will pose this question just out of morbid curiosity: Has anyone been to a church that was not like any of these(signs) churches?
Has anyone been to a church that was not like any of these(signs) churches?
Well, for starters, I think that your question in fairness really refers only to some of those signs. Some of them are obviously the work of evil people. Some of the others, though, don't really tell us anything other than that the minister is incapable of being voluntarily amusing and/or capable of being involuntarily hilarious.
That said, though: yes. Used to belong to one, in fact.
It was full of very kind, decent people who thought Christianity was about applying the ideals of the Sermon on the Mount rather than about Demonising Homos and Sluts. They spent a lot of their own time and money on things like feeding and housing poor people, without worrying about whether those people would thank them, let alone come to share their beliefs. (So no, not all Christians are hate-filled, benighted, superstitious bigots. Why, for every thousand horrible Christians like that, there must be at least one like the nice Christians at my church.)
But although the Christians at my old church are for the most part wonderful people who do a lot of good and whose beliefs are benign, I no longer think I have any valid grounds for holding those beliefs. I don't think they have any valid grounds for their beliefs either, though I concede their beliefs do inspire them to do good things (and fair play to them for it). But their beliefs, and the reasons they would give you for holding them, are exactly as valid as those of the far more malevolent sort of Christians who infest the American body politic.
Half those movies weren't even filmed in California ("La La Land"), dumb-ass backwater hick. You probably see half of these signs on your way to work at Wendy's.
all in all most of these if not all of them have most probably been made online as a joke, they are not here to be offensive in any way else the website would not have posted them so there for weather your huge debate is a good one or not your all debating over a bunch of pictures that most probably have been faked online
just like religion, its up to you weather you beleive me or not
Why can't people see this as an excuse for people to think how the universe was created? Sure it worked 5000 years ago with people worshiping a giant glowing ball in the sky, but we've evolved. We know where we come from, how the universe came to be and how long it took to get there (14 billion years as opposed to seven days). Face it, religion only fuels wars and hate and fattens the pockets of those damn TV evangelists.
I love this site! great site and great webmaster. Thank you bye.
I am from Iraq and also now teach English, please tell me right I wrote the following sentence: "Get all your travel done for less with cheaptickets."
And the greatest commandment is this, "Love one another, as I have loved you."
That means everyone. You don't have to agree with someone but you still need to show them respect. Hear people out, listen to them, try to understand their point of view. Hug them, pray for their welfare.... Try not to be so defensive, hear people out. Your spirit is something between yourself and God spend the time with him and he'll work the rest out.
S.
While looking at these pictures, I couldn't help remembering one I saw a few years ago in Minnesota. The Methodist Church in Crystal, MN was having a garage sale, and had those small, home made signs on the side of the road. They apparently ran out of room while writing with the markers and had to abbreviate, so the sign I saw read:
"Garage sale - Saturday
Crystal Meth. Church 9-5"
--Either that or it was done intentionally to get a laugh, or get addicts to show up.
I am not Christian, but you do realize that the creation of the world is still largely unknown. For instance, lets assume we evolved; however, if we did, where did the first cell come from? The theories regarding that question are still exactly that: theories. And even those theories require some kind of matter to have existed before hand. Where did that matter come from? I'm not a scientist so I'll just stick to that argument and not go any further, but there are still a number of great arguments made by legitamate (non-christian I might add) scientists, suggesting that evolution is highly unlikely as well. Hate to break it to you A-Ron, but it seems the more we find out, the more we realize we do not know, leaving plenty of room for belief in a God. A strict adherence to atheism takes as much of a leap of faith as a strict adherence to the belief in a Christian God. Don't kid yourself.
I am not Christian, but you do realize that the creation of the world is still largely unknown. For instance, lets assume we evolved; however, if we did, where did the first cell come from? The theories regarding that question are still exactly that: theories. And even those theories require some kind of matter to have existed before hand. Where did that matter come from? I'm not a scientist so I'll just stick to that argument and not go any further, but there are still a number of great arguments made by legitamate (non-christian I might add) scientists, suggesting that evolution is highly unlikely as well. Hate to break it to you A-Ron, but it seems the more we find out, the more we realize we do not know, leaving plenty of room for belief in a God. A strict adherence to atheism takes as much of a leap of faith as a strict adherence to the belief in a Christian God. Don't kid yourself.
Religion is for sad people that can't think on their own. They use "God" to be responsible for their actions. You hear of horrible crimes committed, then the person "finds God" and now God takes responsibility for their behavior. Religion is used as a form of control on the masses. The Ancient Greeks used it, Egyptians. Religion will do nothing but bring confusion and harm to humanity until it is completly removed from civilization. Christianity has a pretty bloody track record. How many wars were fought over religion? How many people died over "faith" or lack there of. Until we can realized that religion is just a way to control and manipulate, our species will never evolve. All religions need to go. Only then will we find "peace".
I am not surprised or mad at all of these hateful and off color comments. Even the one from (ThatGirl). Lost people act lost. One can't be upset by that. We need only worry when saved people act lost. This does no good at all.
This world has been judged and is going to die. To try to make things better in this world by our own understanding is like rearranging the furniture on the Titanic. It might look good for a moment but friend, it is going down. you are sitting there polishing silverware and I am screaming to you to get on the lifeboat. I can tell of a lifeboat and his name is Jesus Christ. Hop on board.
Seems only (loony B.A.C.) churches indulge in this silly, witless punnery and cheap word play. Things must not be going to well for them. Never saw a atheist gathering that needed such to invoke interest.
Too bad they didn't say anything about the Genesis verse, "We will make man in our image, in our likeness" Wonder which god they were reffering to in the signs.
The first time I saw the CH _ _ CH one, I didn't see the UR right away, and the first thing that popped into my head was "Cheech? Like Cheech and Chong?"
I have enjoyed your comments very much. You sound as if you are a very well spoken person. I am looking forward to reading up on who killed Christ. One thing that I believe is that Jesus is the only human that chose to die. I believe he had the power to live if he wanted but he chose to die according to his fathers will. He always lived in the perfect will of the father. If it were me I would have taken out the whole town in one big punch and left three or four standing for show. I believe he could have done it. So for that reason it really does not matter who did it. It was the death (separation from God)itself that made the atonement not the act of murder. On the third day He rose again according to the Scriptures? Any thoughts?
So, we look like God, right? He's always portrayed in religious painting as so, and that "we are made in his image", and he's always referred to as a ,an, the Father, right? That means that God has a sex, even Jesus referred to him as his father, right? We'll if he's male and has a sex then he must have a penis. Doesn't that mean the there is a Mrs God?
My thoughts? I think those are all stories. Some to be sure might have some grain of historical truth behind them. (Was there an itinerant Essene-influenced rabbi* called Yeshua in 1st c. Roman Palestine? I'm sure there were quite a few. Did one of them end on a Roman cross? Probably; perhaps several did. The Romans were hard men.) But what believers make a big deal of are stories.
Some of those stories are horrible, some are lovely; many are simply weird or quaint. Large stretches of the bible are literary wasteland, but many patches are literary marvels. (My faves? Ecclesiastes; about half of Job; life breathed back into the bones of the valley. As for the non-Hebrew bits, Paul had many atrocious notions, but could turn an occasional phrase with the best of them, or at least his Jacobean translators could.) But all in all, just stories.
Did Jesus choose to die? If he could have escaped and elected not to, then I suppose he did. Don't see how we'll ever know, though. But lots of other people have chosen to die; I've known some of them. I believe that choice is frowned upon in your community, so you're letting Jesus off lightly if you ask me.
* One often hears Jesus referred to, by Christians and non-Christians alike, as a "rabbi". But other than as an honorific form of address, I think reading that term in his day to mean what it means today is something of an anachronism, given that Jesus was dead a few hundred years before the Talmud, the foundation stone of rabbinic Judaism, was compiled. And ironically given his frequent criticism of the perushim (pharisees), Jesus was despite the ascetic Essene touches squarely withing the tradition of pharisaic Judaism. Jacob Neusner, a Jewish scholar, wrote a book about Jesus that might interest you.
We’ll if he’s male and has a sex then he must have a penis. Doesn’t that mean the there is a Mrs God?
ah, I see that you have independently discovered Mormon theology! Some of their stories are even cooler than the ones in the bible. But I suspect they'd work better in comic-book format.
I saw one in Northern Ontario the other day that said, "Sign broken: message inside."
I thought it was kind of cute. It was on a Christian Fellowship Assembly or some such so fairly Protestant.
@god doesn't exist -
you say that the only way humans will truly evolve and find "peace" is if religion is removed. Sounds like Christoper Hitchins to me, but let me rebuttle that with saying this: Stalin and Hitler tried to do those things in their realm of power what happened? between the two almost 30 million dead. China has attempted to squash religion (christianity most furvently) and has killed a number estimated in the millions. Be careful when you say that mankind attempting to flush out religion will cause "peace". If there is one constant in the world it is that there are always evil people, and evil people will always cause violence. The atheist regimes of stalin and Hitler caused more death than the crusades - which was over a much longer period of time. Yes Christianity has a bloody track record - one I wish did not exist, but it would be naive to believe that religion is the source of human evil; humans, whether religious or not, have a long history of malevolence.
@Mrs. Tilton -
I appreciate your reply to my question, I find it very interesting and insightful. What was it that made you decide to cease believing in the Christian faith?
Well put Mrs. Tilton. I must say I need to do some homework before I match wits with the likes of you. You said you know other people who chose to die. My thinking is that they did not choose to die but rather they chose the time of their death. Jesus chose to die according to the Fathers will and rose again according to the Scriptures I might add...
(205 Comments)
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
August 4th, 2008 at 10:45 am
Shows how desperate many church leaders are to get new people in there to keep the due coming.
Osama... Obama .....
That should get your tax exempt status revoked right there.
Sacred cows make the best burgers ?
I guess the guy running the church propaganda is too uneducated to know he is insulting Hindu's not Muslims. Cow's are not sacrad
It's a complete joke to think these are our centers of moral leadership. That's what unregulated, untaxed, unlawful operation of a cult gets you.
A bunch of brainwashed idiots.
August 4th, 2008 at 10:53 am
I didn't ask Jesus to die for my sins
August 4th, 2008 at 11:02 am
Random thoughts by Alix.
August 4th, 2008 at 11:14 am
I actually thought the "What's missing from ch rch, UR" was quite clever. The rest I just shook my head.
August 4th, 2008 at 11:27 am
Am I missing something here? I don't see anything unusual about the signs at all. Most of it rings true. We are just scared to say it in this PC world. Bravo to the churchs for saying what is really on our minds. Remember you don't have a right to not be offended. I do have a right to offend you though. I just can't take away your right to life, liberty, or your property. Get over it you bleeding heart liberals.
August 4th, 2008 at 11:32 am
Dear lord, save me from your followers.
August 4th, 2008 at 11:58 am
Mr C.,
When the Jews killed Christ
Most of the stories about Jesus's death are in a book called the "Bible". You can probably find a copy, if you ask around. Once you manage to get your hands one, read the parts called the "Gospels". As you'll then see, the Jews didn't kill Jesus. The Italians did.
But I gather from your post that you're a Christian. You might want to be careful about the whole bible-reading thing then. Read it carefully, and you just might find that there's not as much reason to believe what you do as you currently think there is.
August 4th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
Levetiracetam,
Remember you don’t have a right to not be offended. I do have a right to offend you though.
So I take it you're a big supporter of PZ Myers against people like Bill Donohue and Ken Ham, then.
In fairness, I must concede that churches like many of those whose signs are shown here do provide a valuable service, if as you say they disclose what people like you really think. Sunlight is the best disinfectant and all that.
August 4th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
here is something that will burn your toast... we were atheists before religions... God created us as atheists, but we dont exist so can we be here? any of us?
August 4th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
Im kind of surprised to see the Sacred Cows one. Thats a quote from Mark Twain, who was never a great fan of the church.
August 4th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
@ Leaveatiredasstammy
Moronic sentences will always ring true to a moron. I guess these churches do say what's on your mind.
Nobody here seems offended by such stupidity. We are just mocking and laughing at them. As much as we are mocking and laughing at you. Are you offended now?
@Seraphim & Mr. C
Take your piss-poor apologetics and blow it out your ass!
@ dell
I see you're trying to be reasonable, but look up this phrase: "No True Scotsman Fallacy".
August 4th, 2008 at 01:00 pm
Thank you budbear. Case closed.
August 4th, 2008 at 01:17 pm
Jenna: (Aug 4, 11:39) “Will the road your on lead you to me?” - Aside from poor grammar, the sign kinda frightens me, because I’m thinking, “God, I hope not!”
Hehe! Jenna calls upon God in her own plea - surely a classic convert-in-denial.
August 4th, 2008 at 01:17 pm
Budbear:
I did look up the statement and I see your point.
I guess I will pose this question just out of morbid curiosity: Has anyone been to a church that was not like any of these(signs) churches?
August 4th, 2008 at 03:19 pm
my favorite from around L.A.:
"to lick the devil, fall on your knees."
August 4th, 2008 at 03:26 pm
"Sacred cows make the best burgers"
And consecrated hosts make the best Super Bowl snacks!
Oh wait, I might get death threats for that one. Except that only "muslims would be ready to kill people indiscriminately."
*sigh*
Oh wait, but I don't exist!
August 4th, 2008 at 03:39 pm
dell,
Has anyone been to a church that was not like any of these(signs) churches?
Well, for starters, I think that your question in fairness really refers only to some of those signs. Some of them are obviously the work of evil people. Some of the others, though, don't really tell us anything other than that the minister is incapable of being voluntarily amusing and/or capable of being involuntarily hilarious.
That said, though: yes. Used to belong to one, in fact.
It was full of very kind, decent people who thought Christianity was about applying the ideals of the Sermon on the Mount rather than about Demonising Homos and Sluts. They spent a lot of their own time and money on things like feeding and housing poor people, without worrying about whether those people would thank them, let alone come to share their beliefs. (So no, not all Christians are hate-filled, benighted, superstitious bigots. Why, for every thousand horrible Christians like that, there must be at least one like the nice Christians at my church.)
But although the Christians at my old church are for the most part wonderful people who do a lot of good and whose beliefs are benign, I no longer think I have any valid grounds for holding those beliefs. I don't think they have any valid grounds for their beliefs either, though I concede their beliefs do inspire them to do good things (and fair play to them for it). But their beliefs, and the reasons they would give you for holding them, are exactly as valid as those of the far more malevolent sort of Christians who infest the American body politic.
August 4th, 2008 at 03:54 pm
Half those movies weren't even filmed in California ("La La Land"), dumb-ass backwater hick. You probably see half of these signs on your way to work at Wendy's.
February 25th, 2009 at 04:16 pm
all in all most of these if not all of them have most probably been made online as a joke, they are not here to be offensive in any way else the website would not have posted them so there for weather your huge debate is a good one or not your all debating over a bunch of pictures that most probably have been faked online
just like religion, its up to you weather you beleive me or not
March 6th, 2009 at 07:58 am
lol religion..
Why can't people see this as an excuse for people to think how the universe was created? Sure it worked 5000 years ago with people worshiping a giant glowing ball in the sky, but we've evolved. We know where we come from, how the universe came to be and how long it took to get there (14 billion years as opposed to seven days). Face it, religion only fuels wars and hate and fattens the pockets of those damn TV evangelists.
March 11th, 2009 at 05:53 pm
BMW e92
March 30th, 2009 at 06:07 pm
I love this site! great site and great webmaster. Thank you bye.
I am from Iraq and also now teach English, please tell me right I wrote the following sentence: "Get all your travel done for less with cheaptickets."
;-) Thanks in advance. Thalassa.
December 28th, 2008 at 01:07 pm
And the greatest commandment is this, "Love one another, as I have loved you."
That means everyone. You don't have to agree with someone but you still need to show them respect. Hear people out, listen to them, try to understand their point of view. Hug them, pray for their welfare.... Try not to be so defensive, hear people out. Your spirit is something between yourself and God spend the time with him and he'll work the rest out.
S.
January 20th, 2009 at 04:09 pm
i lol @ people who doesn't know the existance of church sign generators
February 16th, 2009 at 06:57 am
most of it are actually funny. and sinful coming from the church
February 17th, 2009 at 08:35 pm
i got a picture of one that says:
you can pray for the harvest
but you still gotta hoe
April 23rd, 2009 at 10:48 am
be6d836379d4586f9e6fc.txt;120;120
June 5th, 2009 at 11:38 am
Heh, my favourite was: "Tsunami, Aids, War"
June 11th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
I think my absolute favorite is still a sign put up above a porn store in Farmington, New Mexico that reads, "Jesus is watching."
And then there's the one in Albuquerque that reads, "Try Jesus. If you don't like him, the devil will always take you back!"
I wasn't really all that enticed to enter that church...
November 18th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
While looking at these pictures, I couldn't help remembering one I saw a few years ago in Minnesota. The Methodist Church in Crystal, MN was having a garage sale, and had those small, home made signs on the side of the road. They apparently ran out of room while writing with the markers and had to abbreviate, so the sign I saw read:
"Garage sale - Saturday
Crystal Meth. Church 9-5"
--Either that or it was done intentionally to get a laugh, or get addicts to show up.
June 11th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
I am not Christian, but you do realize that the creation of the world is still largely unknown. For instance, lets assume we evolved; however, if we did, where did the first cell come from? The theories regarding that question are still exactly that: theories. And even those theories require some kind of matter to have existed before hand. Where did that matter come from? I'm not a scientist so I'll just stick to that argument and not go any further, but there are still a number of great arguments made by legitamate (non-christian I might add) scientists, suggesting that evolution is highly unlikely as well. Hate to break it to you A-Ron, but it seems the more we find out, the more we realize we do not know, leaving plenty of room for belief in a God. A strict adherence to atheism takes as much of a leap of faith as a strict adherence to the belief in a Christian God. Don't kid yourself.
June 11th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
I am not Christian, but you do realize that the creation of the world is still largely unknown. For instance, lets assume we evolved; however, if we did, where did the first cell come from? The theories regarding that question are still exactly that: theories. And even those theories require some kind of matter to have existed before hand. Where did that matter come from? I'm not a scientist so I'll just stick to that argument and not go any further, but there are still a number of great arguments made by legitamate (non-christian I might add) scientists, suggesting that evolution is highly unlikely as well. Hate to break it to you A-Ron, but it seems the more we find out, the more we realize we do not know, leaving plenty of room for belief in a God. A strict adherence to atheism takes as much of a leap of faith as a strict adherence to the belief in a Christian God. Don't kid yourself.
August 4th, 2008 at 04:15 pm
Religion is for sad people that can't think on their own. They use "God" to be responsible for their actions. You hear of horrible crimes committed, then the person "finds God" and now God takes responsibility for their behavior. Religion is used as a form of control on the masses. The Ancient Greeks used it, Egyptians. Religion will do nothing but bring confusion and harm to humanity until it is completly removed from civilization. Christianity has a pretty bloody track record. How many wars were fought over religion? How many people died over "faith" or lack there of. Until we can realized that religion is just a way to control and manipulate, our species will never evolve. All religions need to go. Only then will we find "peace".
August 4th, 2008 at 04:45 pm
I was planning to make a contribution, but then I saw there was no Preview button.
August 4th, 2008 at 05:40 pm
Lord please soften the hearts of these people.
I am not surprised or mad at all of these hateful and off color comments. Even the one from (ThatGirl). Lost people act lost. One can't be upset by that. We need only worry when saved people act lost. This does no good at all.
This world has been judged and is going to die. To try to make things better in this world by our own understanding is like rearranging the furniture on the Titanic. It might look good for a moment but friend, it is going down. you are sitting there polishing silverware and I am screaming to you to get on the lifeboat. I can tell of a lifeboat and his name is Jesus Christ. Hop on board.
God loves you and so do I.
August 4th, 2008 at 05:56 pm
Mr. C,
bon voyage!
August 4th, 2008 at 06:25 pm
Mrs Tilton,
You are very funny. I have enjoyed your comments. BTW, are you any relation to the false teacher Robert Tilton?
August 4th, 2008 at 06:30 pm
Seems only (loony B.A.C.) churches indulge in this silly, witless punnery and cheap word play. Things must not be going to well for them. Never saw a atheist gathering that needed such to invoke interest.
August 4th, 2008 at 06:52 pm
Too bad they didn't say anything about the Genesis verse, "We will make man in our image, in our likeness" Wonder which god they were reffering to in the signs.
August 4th, 2008 at 07:07 pm
The first time I saw the CH _ _ CH one, I didn't see the UR right away, and the first thing that popped into my head was "Cheech? Like Cheech and Chong?"
August 4th, 2008 at 07:56 pm
Mr. C,
are you any relation to the false teacher Robert Tilton?
Except in the sense that all descendants of the Most Recent Common Ancestor are related, I am morally certain that I am not.
August 4th, 2008 at 08:19 pm
Mrs Tilton,
I have enjoyed your comments very much. You sound as if you are a very well spoken person. I am looking forward to reading up on who killed Christ. One thing that I believe is that Jesus is the only human that chose to die. I believe he had the power to live if he wanted but he chose to die according to his fathers will. He always lived in the perfect will of the father. If it were me I would have taken out the whole town in one big punch and left three or four standing for show. I believe he could have done it. So for that reason it really does not matter who did it. It was the death (separation from God)itself that made the atonement not the act of murder. On the third day He rose again according to the Scriptures? Any thoughts?
August 4th, 2008 at 08:37 pm
So, we look like God, right? He's always portrayed in religious painting as so, and that "we are made in his image", and he's always referred to as a ,an, the Father, right? That means that God has a sex, even Jesus referred to him as his father, right? We'll if he's male and has a sex then he must have a penis. Doesn't that mean the there is a Mrs God?
August 4th, 2008 at 09:00 pm
Mr. C,
My thoughts? I think those are all stories. Some to be sure might have some grain of historical truth behind them. (Was there an itinerant Essene-influenced rabbi* called Yeshua in 1st c. Roman Palestine? I'm sure there were quite a few. Did one of them end on a Roman cross? Probably; perhaps several did. The Romans were hard men.) But what believers make a big deal of are stories.
Some of those stories are horrible, some are lovely; many are simply weird or quaint. Large stretches of the bible are literary wasteland, but many patches are literary marvels. (My faves? Ecclesiastes; about half of Job; life breathed back into the bones of the valley. As for the non-Hebrew bits, Paul had many atrocious notions, but could turn an occasional phrase with the best of them, or at least his Jacobean translators could.) But all in all, just stories.
Did Jesus choose to die? If he could have escaped and elected not to, then I suppose he did. Don't see how we'll ever know, though. But lots of other people have chosen to die; I've known some of them. I believe that choice is frowned upon in your community, so you're letting Jesus off lightly if you ask me.
* One often hears Jesus referred to, by Christians and non-Christians alike, as a "rabbi". But other than as an honorific form of address, I think reading that term in his day to mean what it means today is something of an anachronism, given that Jesus was dead a few hundred years before the Talmud, the foundation stone of rabbinic Judaism, was compiled. And ironically given his frequent criticism of the perushim (pharisees), Jesus was despite the ascetic Essene touches squarely withing the tradition of pharisaic Judaism. Jacob Neusner, a Jewish scholar, wrote a book about Jesus that might interest you.
August 4th, 2008 at 09:03 pm
Jonas,
We’ll if he’s male and has a sex then he must have a penis. Doesn’t that mean the there is a Mrs God?
ah, I see that you have independently discovered Mormon theology! Some of their stories are even cooler than the ones in the bible. But I suspect they'd work better in comic-book format.
August 4th, 2008 at 09:57 pm
I saw one in Northern Ontario the other day that said, "Sign broken: message inside."
I thought it was kind of cute. It was on a Christian Fellowship Assembly or some such so fairly Protestant.
August 4th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
@god doesn't exist -
you say that the only way humans will truly evolve and find "peace" is if religion is removed. Sounds like Christoper Hitchins to me, but let me rebuttle that with saying this: Stalin and Hitler tried to do those things in their realm of power what happened? between the two almost 30 million dead. China has attempted to squash religion (christianity most furvently) and has killed a number estimated in the millions. Be careful when you say that mankind attempting to flush out religion will cause "peace". If there is one constant in the world it is that there are always evil people, and evil people will always cause violence. The atheist regimes of stalin and Hitler caused more death than the crusades - which was over a much longer period of time. Yes Christianity has a bloody track record - one I wish did not exist, but it would be naive to believe that religion is the source of human evil; humans, whether religious or not, have a long history of malevolence.
@Mrs. Tilton -
I appreciate your reply to my question, I find it very interesting and insightful. What was it that made you decide to cease believing in the Christian faith?
August 4th, 2008 at 10:29 pm
She opened her eyes to the wonders of the universe, went to her local science museum and decided superstition is for the ignorant.
(Note: ignorance can be cured but stupidity is with you til you die.)
August 4th, 2008 at 10:59 pm
Well put Mrs. Tilton. I must say I need to do some homework before I match wits with the likes of you. You said you know other people who chose to die. My thinking is that they did not choose to die but rather they chose the time of their death. Jesus chose to die according to the Fathers will and rose again according to the Scriptures I might add...
August 4th, 2008 at 11:01 pm
To Mr. Tilton
Is science a religion?
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