Everytime Subway's Jared Fogle is on TV or at a speaking engagement, he's always holding up a pair of enormous pants to illustrate the 70 million pounds he lost. But it's too the point where that's all he does now. Yes, we get it, you used to be a great big fat person. Now you're not. Hooray. Your arteries must be stoked.
But enough with the pants. It's like he keeps a box full of Levis with 62" waists in the trunk of car, just in case anyone forgets that he used to be giant lardass. "Hey, look at my old pants! See how big they are in comparison to my newer, slimmer pants! I'm thinner!"
Due to bandwidth issues, you're going to have to see Jared holding up a bunch of huge pants after the jump.
I saw Fogle in Burger King the other day. He looked hungry and confused. Then he asked me for a handful of fries, but before I could give him any, these two guys came up behind him, zapped him unconscious with a tazer and hustled him into a windowless van with a Subway logo. After that I had to go my stupid stepdad's house to help him move a couch.
i love how people are trying so hard to be funny to get comment of the week, and week after week of not being funny they continue to try thinking they might win
(10 Comments)
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
August 13th, 2008 at 07:12 pm
He should totally wear it like a cape and let the adventures of Less-Fat Man begin!
With catch phrases like; "No cheese please." And "Is this a fat-free low carb mocha?"
August 13th, 2008 at 07:13 pm
I saw Fogle in Burger King the other day. He looked hungry and confused. Then he asked me for a handful of fries, but before I could give him any, these two guys came up behind him, zapped him unconscious with a tazer and hustled him into a windowless van with a Subway logo. After that I had to go my stupid stepdad's house to help him move a couch.
August 13th, 2008 at 09:04 pm
so where do i get a cardboard cutout of jared holding his own pants? my girlfriend's birthday is coming up.
August 13th, 2008 at 10:15 pm
Word to the wise for Jared: you can lose fat but you can't lose ugly.
August 14th, 2008 at 12:44 am
i love how people are trying so hard to be funny to get comment of the week, and week after week of not being funny they continue to try thinking they might win
August 14th, 2008 at 05:38 am
Jared is a douche bag.
August 14th, 2008 at 03:32 pm
I wonder how gross J-rod's man titties are
August 14th, 2008 at 07:59 pm
i actually try so hard on my comments so that someone will love me
August 14th, 2008 at 09:55 pm
The official stamp of Subway is even him holding up pants. Just black.
August 20th, 2008 at 08:45 pm
If I were him I would be pointing to my neck - 'Look, it doesn't look like a vagina!"
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