I think every time John Mayer bangs a really hot chick, by law Dave Matthews should at least get an HJ from her as well since he created the "effeminate music guy who bangs tons of chicks because his vague lyrics make women think he's talking just to them," persona. But I must say, Jon Mayer is taking it to new and exciting places. Usmagazine.com reports that he came to the defense of Jennifer Aniston, the woman he just dumped, to a group of reporters.
"If you guys are going to run stuff and run every lie under the sun, have somebody stand up for somebody," the singer challenged. "Have me as a man who ended a relationship stand here and write some truth. Have me stand up for somebody and write that Jennifer Aniston is the smartest, most sophisticated person I think I've ever met," said Mayer.
Dude. That was like the Braveheart speech except instead of getting a bunch of Scottish people pumped up to fight for their independence he got a bunch of vaginas pumped up to fight for his penis. I feel like when he gave that press conference, this was going on:
The last photoshopped picture looks like it could be from a scary porno flick; "Night of the Living Head"; where half-dead naked chicks run around looking to "give brain" instead of "eat brain".
Footnote: I don't know if "give brain" is a socially accepted substitute for "getting a blowjob", but I heard it in a rap song once when I was a wigger in high school and I thought it would fit here.
That was the most vague ramble I've ever heard... "somebody stand up for somebody?" What does that even mean? Can't he just say "she's a cool chick but it didn't work out between us, so stop printing BS about her, ok?"
That would be way easier to understand than his apparent attempt to win the "most pronouns used in one paragraph" trophy.
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
August 17th, 2008 at 09:28 pm
The last photoshopped picture looks like it could be from a scary porno flick; "Night of the Living Head"; where half-dead naked chicks run around looking to "give brain" instead of "eat brain".
Footnote: I don't know if "give brain" is a socially accepted substitute for "getting a blowjob", but I heard it in a rap song once when I was a wigger in high school and I thought it would fit here.
August 17th, 2008 at 10:19 pm
That was the most vague ramble I've ever heard... "somebody stand up for somebody?" What does that even mean? Can't he just say "she's a cool chick but it didn't work out between us, so stop printing BS about her, ok?"
That would be way easier to understand than his apparent attempt to win the "most pronouns used in one paragraph" trophy.
August 18th, 2008 at 02:34 pm
Sweet couple, I just heard that they met on some tall dating places Tallmingle.C O M , really?
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