A Harrisonburg, VA school system thought it was a good idea to put photos of their school lunches on their website. But what they didn't realize is that the food they were taking pictures of was a collection of the most unappetizing piles of garbage you wouldn't feed to a dying hamster.
And for some reason, they decided to give each dish a name (sometimes it would be an "extreme" name like "Chicken Fryz") and put the dish's abbreviation in the upper corner of each photo. I guess this is so you can print these out, put them in alphabetical order and reminisce about the time you once ate a CSS and lived.
This might explain the increase in heart attacks among Harrisonburg sixth graders.
It's no coincedence that the abbreviation for this dish is "BM."
I'm guessing you might need a little more sauce to choke down those cardboard sticks.
If you cut white bread up into rectangles and give it a European name, it's still slices of white bread.
That potato needs some more cheese. And we need a science lab to figure out what's in that cup next to it.
Not only do they us a Z, but they also spell "Fryz" with a Y. Food doesn't get anymore extreme than this. (Kids love to eat extreme things, FYI.)
As you can see, the corn dog is such a complete nutritional package that it needs no sides.
This sandwich used to be called the "Ebola Chicken Sandwich.
This sandwich's abbreviation is "MS" because this sandwich is full of Multiple Sclerosis.
If this meat was any grayer, it would be attached to my grandfather's corpse.
I swear to God, they took a photo of a lunchbox to show you what a packed lunch looks like.
Ahh, the nuanced flavors of French cuisine.
For those of you keeping score at home, the abbreviation for spaghetti is "S."
I don't know what this is.
This could also be called the "Totally Burnt To A Tasteless Crisp Pizza."
This is Thanksgiving dinner just like Mom used to make. (When she was in a coma.)
Does anyone else think those fries next to the chicken fajita look frozen (and far from extreme)? I took me two looks to even notice the fries there because I was so fixated on what I swore was Alpo on a tortilla. At least the Chicken Fajita has one thing going for it: it has a unique abbreviation....except for that it shares 'CF' with Chicken Fryz (which are really extreme). I guess going all 'periodic table' on us and adding lowercase letters to distinguish between items in their seemingly needless labeling system would have made to much sense for the people who also think it's good to advertise that they serve this shit.
and the taco patty is just a hamburger cut in half and put into a taco shell. and with a cup what is either cole slaw or a mix of cheese, lettuce and tomato, you've got a complete meal.
I remember being served "Flying Saucers" in the cafeteria, fried bologna with a scoop of mashed potatoes and cheese on top. It was actually pretty good, but gross to think about eating now.
While some of these are legitimately disgusting (including, one assumes, the taco patty), I think the problem with most of these is actually just the photography. Compare, for example, the cheese stuffed shells and the stuffed shells. These are basically the same food item and yet the former looks disgusting while the latter looks, in my opinion anyway, pretty decent. The four lessons you should take away from these photos should be:
1) Don't take pictures of food, or anything else, with a camera you got out of a cereal box.
2) White balance. It's, like, important.
3) The person who takes pictures of the food should probably not be the person who cooked it.
4) Stay the fuck away from the taco patty.
Has anything like this ever happened when you were in the school cafeteria?
Some smartass kid who doesn't want to eat the rest of his food mixes up everything into one sickening mess... mashed potatoes, jello cubes, mashed carrot sticks, bread crust from his friends sandwich, and topped with chocolate milk as a finishing touch.
Then the kid would take the tray to the tray drop-off area and then run like hell because the weirdo ladies who washed those trays would get pissed at having to clean up that mountain of filth. But sometimes they'd catch the kid and have a teacher bring him back, and he'd have to eat the whole thing.
And he'd eventually puke since it was so nasty. Then someone else would puke from seeing him puke, and it led to a chain reaction of a whole group of kids puking and having to go to the office.
this food looks pretty good for the most part except for the few i saw that seem like something a stoned homeless guy would make for himself. who the hell invented taco patties and italian dunkers. that shit is just silly. i'd still probably eat it though.
OMG...would you like some food with your cheese? No wonder america is full of overweight, video game playing, can't run more than a mile no idea what outside looks like kids.
I wouldnt feed that crap to the starving in Africa.
Aight, school lunches aren't supposed to be good or appetizing ( even tho I bet some of them would actually taste good) they are there for the sake of being food. In my adult life so far, if someone were to make me any of those dishes I would eat the shit of them just cuz I wouldn't have to make them myself or pay more than 4 dollars for them. I'll admit Italian Dunkers are bullshit but I would eat any of the other with no complaints.
i dont usually comment, but it has to be said, again, that that is the most horrible food i have seen in a long time. i cant believe you feed this stuff to kids!!! the potato is the only slightly appitising thing there, and even it is full of cheese!!
and who the fuck puts anything but jam or butter inside a croissant!
and theres no veg! only corn and some very overcooked looking greenbeans...and a small cup of fruit, weeeeee here comes heart disease kids
um cheese filled bread sticks = BOSCO STICKS and if someone doesn't know how good BOSCO STICKS are after a ritual morning wake 'n' bake before class- then you are SO MISSING OUT.
It clearly says "Harrisonburg, VA". Which, for you un-edumacated folk (or those too lazy to google it), is Virginia. Go back to school.
About the food, like I said, it's fucking disturbing. My highschool actually had OK food. Of course it had all the disgusting shit like turdballs on a bun. Or, the always puke-inducing "spaghetti". But, my school's food NEVER looked as bad as the above pictures.
I can be a volunteer to shot your children in the face with shotgun, instead of letting your children eat that kind of toxic waste. Result is the same.
You would never see anything like that in our schools. You don't have to deep fry everything or cover all with cheese to make it taste good.
The one responsible for planning those school meals should be jailed.
Ok, I work for a company that provides food service for schools. If my kitchen put out these meals I would be fired. This is about as unacceptable as it gets. These photos actually make me want to throw up.
Never got breakfast all through my school years, so anything at lunch was appreciated. Actually would have died for most of what's pictured (or possibly died because of).
BTW, most of your posts are impossible to read because you geniuses can't be bothered to use proper spelling and grammar. These aren't big words. Go back to school.
what the hell? you guys dont like cheesburgers and tacos and mac and cheese and meatballs and pizza and spaghetti and chicken and corndogs and burritos?
Your captions are hilarious! I'm glad I have a private office because otherwise I'd get stared at. And what's with those gray meatballs in a pool of sludge?
I agree with the commenter that mentioned the poor photography is to blame for most of the issues here. The problem is, food is expensive, the meals are subsidized by the school budget, have to be prepared in mass quantities every day, and have to have a certain (cryptic) balance of nutrition and calories, and be served up very quickly.
But no, no excuse for the taco patties. It probably saves them considerable money compared to buying ground beef separately but I get the feeling they just discovered that taco shells are cheaper than hamburger buns. There's no reason they couldn't run the patties through one of their food processors and make proper taco filling with them (hell it'd save even more money as it'd stretch the meat.)
I'm actually surprised by the fried burrito, health regulations have gotten so strict that it's hard to get away with serving deep fried anything in schools anymore.
guys, i really mean no offending or falling into stereotypes. but, do you guys ever relate this to your people's average weight? you know what i mean. it starts in the childhood.
i don't think this is funny. you are the ones who promote "doing something".
makes me wonder, at least.
(190 Comments)
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
August 17th, 2008 at 04:58 pm
That's just... Disturbing.
August 17th, 2008 at 04:58 pm
And people wonder why (albeit a miniscule percentage) some kids grow up to be cannibals.
August 17th, 2008 at 05:08 pm
that actually looks really good, some of it, compared to what my high school served
August 17th, 2008 at 05:19 pm
I'm pretty sure my dog wouldn't eat most of this crap.
August 17th, 2008 at 05:36 pm
We had the CFPS at my high school. They were horrible. It actually was like eating cardboard. The sauce made them worse.
August 17th, 2008 at 05:59 pm
oh yuck! no wonder my girls won't eat cafeteria food.
August 17th, 2008 at 05:59 pm
Does anyone else think those fries next to the chicken fajita look frozen (and far from extreme)? I took me two looks to even notice the fries there because I was so fixated on what I swore was Alpo on a tortilla. At least the Chicken Fajita has one thing going for it: it has a unique abbreviation....except for that it shares 'CF' with Chicken Fryz (which are really extreme). I guess going all 'periodic table' on us and adding lowercase letters to distinguish between items in their seemingly needless labeling system would have made to much sense for the people who also think it's good to advertise that they serve this shit.
August 17th, 2008 at 06:05 pm
I think I could eat my weight in RBCs.
August 17th, 2008 at 06:15 pm
fires with a fajita? what the hell? everyone knows you need tots if you're gonna choke down some fajitas!!!
August 17th, 2008 at 06:31 pm
I am actually kinda hungryz now.
August 17th, 2008 at 07:25 pm
WTF is a taco patty?
August 17th, 2008 at 07:29 pm
lol at taco patty
but seriously most of that looks like a big improvement to what we got in high school 10 years ago.
August 17th, 2008 at 07:34 pm
and the taco patty is just a hamburger cut in half and put into a taco shell. and with a cup what is either cole slaw or a mix of cheese, lettuce and tomato, you've got a complete meal.
August 17th, 2008 at 07:49 pm
Compared to the schol meals I got in the mid 90's here in the UK, some of that good.
The fact that there is more then 5 items on the menu is a good start.
August 17th, 2008 at 07:55 pm
I remember being served "Flying Saucers" in the cafeteria, fried bologna with a scoop of mashed potatoes and cheese on top. It was actually pretty good, but gross to think about eating now.
August 17th, 2008 at 08:13 pm
I think we've just found ground zero of obesity.
August 17th, 2008 at 08:21 pm
The reason that there is a labeling system was for a 11th grade algebra class. Here is how it was used:
CF + ORC = HIV
(BR + ID) / CFPS = AIDS
((CSS * RWP) - SS) * (RBC + CD) = SARS
August 17th, 2008 at 08:41 pm
While some of these are legitimately disgusting (including, one assumes, the taco patty), I think the problem with most of these is actually just the photography. Compare, for example, the cheese stuffed shells and the stuffed shells. These are basically the same food item and yet the former looks disgusting while the latter looks, in my opinion anyway, pretty decent. The four lessons you should take away from these photos should be:
1) Don't take pictures of food, or anything else, with a camera you got out of a cereal box.
2) White balance. It's, like, important.
3) The person who takes pictures of the food should probably not be the person who cooked it.
4) Stay the fuck away from the taco patty.
August 17th, 2008 at 09:33 pm
YOU MEAN I CAN HAZ ALL THAT!!!
August 17th, 2008 at 09:57 pm
taco patty sound kind of respectable when compared to beef tongue tacos...... but do take Anon's advise #4
now im off to make some Bologna with mashed taters and cheese. Or maybe with just some tots on the side.
August 17th, 2008 at 10:29 pm
Has anything like this ever happened when you were in the school cafeteria?
Some smartass kid who doesn't want to eat the rest of his food mixes up everything into one sickening mess... mashed potatoes, jello cubes, mashed carrot sticks, bread crust from his friends sandwich, and topped with chocolate milk as a finishing touch.
Then the kid would take the tray to the tray drop-off area and then run like hell because the weirdo ladies who washed those trays would get pissed at having to clean up that mountain of filth. But sometimes they'd catch the kid and have a teacher bring him back, and he'd have to eat the whole thing.
And he'd eventually puke since it was so nasty. Then someone else would puke from seeing him puke, and it led to a chain reaction of a whole group of kids puking and having to go to the office.
August 17th, 2008 at 10:42 pm
Holy cow the Taco patty had me laughing... since when do dog turds make for a taco filler?
August 17th, 2008 at 10:48 pm
Ah those poor kids... thank god i don't have to go to high school anymore!
August 18th, 2008 at 12:01 am
apparently the lunch lady is a sexual deviant. those ain't shells, them be vaginas, son.
August 18th, 2008 at 01:05 am
I seriously don't know what all the fuss is about. I would eat most of that. The Burrito with Rice (BR) actually looks quite tasty.
August 18th, 2008 at 01:46 am
this food looks pretty good for the most part except for the few i saw that seem like something a stoned homeless guy would make for himself. who the hell invented taco patties and italian dunkers. that shit is just silly. i'd still probably eat it though.
August 18th, 2008 at 05:54 am
OMG...would you like some food with your cheese? No wonder america is full of overweight, video game playing, can't run more than a mile no idea what outside looks like kids.
I wouldnt feed that crap to the starving in Africa.
August 18th, 2008 at 06:23 am
Aight, school lunches aren't supposed to be good or appetizing ( even tho I bet some of them would actually taste good) they are there for the sake of being food. In my adult life so far, if someone were to make me any of those dishes I would eat the shit of them just cuz I wouldn't have to make them myself or pay more than 4 dollars for them. I'll admit Italian Dunkers are bullshit but I would eat any of the other with no complaints.
August 18th, 2008 at 08:30 am
i dont usually comment, but it has to be said, again, that that is the most horrible food i have seen in a long time. i cant believe you feed this stuff to kids!!! the potato is the only slightly appitising thing there, and even it is full of cheese!!
and who the fuck puts anything but jam or butter inside a croissant!
and theres no veg! only corn and some very overcooked looking greenbeans...and a small cup of fruit, weeeeee here comes heart disease kids
August 18th, 2008 at 11:21 am
there isn't one meal which doesn't look like puke.
August 18th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
um cheese filled bread sticks = BOSCO STICKS and if someone doesn't know how good BOSCO STICKS are after a ritual morning wake 'n' bake before class- then you are SO MISSING OUT.
August 18th, 2008 at 01:33 pm
There is a Harrisburg, PA and a Harrisonburg, VA but no Harrisonburg, PA
August 18th, 2008 at 02:04 pm
Whoever wrote this article is an idiot...Harrisburg is the capitol of PA.
Jump off a bridge.
August 18th, 2008 at 03:08 pm
It's no wonder childhood obesity is becoming such a problem. Look at the smudge we are feeding them.
August 18th, 2008 at 03:17 pm
at least they have a large selection, my HS rotated like 3 items. Also, I would go to town on the "MS"
August 18th, 2008 at 04:39 pm
@Waste of time -
It clearly says "Harrisonburg, VA". Which, for you un-edumacated folk (or those too lazy to google it), is Virginia. Go back to school.
About the food, like I said, it's fucking disturbing. My highschool actually had OK food. Of course it had all the disgusting shit like turdballs on a bun. Or, the always puke-inducing "spaghetti". But, my school's food NEVER looked as bad as the above pictures.
August 18th, 2008 at 04:55 pm
That's awful.
My school lunch was WAY better. I actually MISS our school lunch pizza.
August 18th, 2008 at 05:17 pm
ugh
and they wonder why americans are the fattest people on the planet?
August 18th, 2008 at 05:27 pm
I think the obvious choice would have been making the Slices of White Bread a side for "S".
August 18th, 2008 at 05:30 pm
I can be a volunteer to shot your children in the face with shotgun, instead of letting your children eat that kind of toxic waste. Result is the same.
You would never see anything like that in our schools. You don't have to deep fry everything or cover all with cheese to make it taste good.
The one responsible for planning those school meals should be jailed.
August 18th, 2008 at 06:07 pm
Ok, I work for a company that provides food service for schools. If my kitchen put out these meals I would be fired. This is about as unacceptable as it gets. These photos actually make me want to throw up.
August 18th, 2008 at 06:30 pm
Never got breakfast all through my school years, so anything at lunch was appreciated. Actually would have died for most of what's pictured (or possibly died because of).
BTW, most of your posts are impossible to read because you geniuses can't be bothered to use proper spelling and grammar. These aren't big words. Go back to school.
August 18th, 2008 at 06:46 pm
what the hell? you guys dont like cheesburgers and tacos and mac and cheese and meatballs and pizza and spaghetti and chicken and corndogs and burritos?
August 18th, 2008 at 06:47 pm
Your captions are hilarious! I'm glad I have a private office because otherwise I'd get stared at. And what's with those gray meatballs in a pool of sludge?
Mmmmmmmmm. Sludge.
August 18th, 2008 at 06:53 pm
i'd eat it all
August 18th, 2008 at 07:51 pm
those pizza sticks i had in middle school they were good! every body wanted them
August 18th, 2008 at 07:54 pm
um, i'd just like to say that the "taco patties" look like they contain some form of shriveled up penises.
...ahem. thank you for your time.
August 18th, 2008 at 08:01 pm
I agree with the commenter that mentioned the poor photography is to blame for most of the issues here. The problem is, food is expensive, the meals are subsidized by the school budget, have to be prepared in mass quantities every day, and have to have a certain (cryptic) balance of nutrition and calories, and be served up very quickly.
But no, no excuse for the taco patties. It probably saves them considerable money compared to buying ground beef separately but I get the feeling they just discovered that taco shells are cheaper than hamburger buns. There's no reason they couldn't run the patties through one of their food processors and make proper taco filling with them (hell it'd save even more money as it'd stretch the meat.)
I'm actually surprised by the fried burrito, health regulations have gotten so strict that it's hard to get away with serving deep fried anything in schools anymore.
Gran's a lunch lady...
August 18th, 2008 at 08:05 pm
guys, i really mean no offending or falling into stereotypes. but, do you guys ever relate this to your people's average weight? you know what i mean. it starts in the childhood.
i don't think this is funny. you are the ones who promote "doing something".
makes me wonder, at least.
August 18th, 2008 at 08:22 pm
why is this labeled Pennsylvania when its from Virginia?
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