His name is Brian Atene. He's an actor, but the only time you've ever heard his name or seen him act is on this crappy audition tape he supposedly sent to Stanley Kubrick. Is it because, just maybe, Mr. Atene is the worst actor in the history of actors (except for Michael Rappaport)? Or is it because, despite having no thespian abilities, he's still so full of himself that he feels comfortable talking down to Stanley Kubrick.
If I was insanely wealthy, I would pay this guy to follow me around and re-enact random scenes that pop into my head. I'd instruct him to stay eight feet behind me at all times and I would yell out, "Goodfellas: The part where she points the gun in Ray Liotta's face." Then Brian would run up in front of me and do the scene as only Brian Atene could. Man, I can't wait 'til I'm wealthy.
Other crap to look at:
Reese Witherspoon is fat (drunkenstepfather)
The Japanese Olympics (cameltap)
Why it's better to be a college freshman now (comedy.com)
Melissa Marie is attractive (gorillamask)
Siobhan Parekh is also attractive (doubleviking)
Louise Glover shoots pool without a rope (hornyoyster)
How many goats? (tastybooze)
Hugh Hefner's gf blogs now (theblemish)
Mayra Veronica has a sweet ass (Flisted)
This is a video of dogs feeling guilty (BestWeekEver)
The 2010 El Camino is a no go (Inventorspot)
Creative shop signs (funtasticus)
(14 Comments)
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
August 21st, 2008 at 03:40 pm
i posted this video on break.com AGES ago, and everyone made fun of me!! :(
August 21st, 2008 at 03:59 pm
Here's the wiki on it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brian_Atene
August 21st, 2008 at 04:47 pm
he plays "simple jack" pretty good so idk what u guys are talking about lol
April 7th, 2009 at 05:41 am
Simple Jack! Good one! You m m m m m Make me H H H happy!
August 21st, 2008 at 05:18 pm
"...and my favorite color is GREEN." I've never heard such conviction about someone's favorite color before.
August 22nd, 2008 at 12:27 pm
I like that he is playing The Outsiders as if it was about elderly black sharecroppers from Alabama.
August 22nd, 2008 at 07:22 pm
Go here for his current videos:
http://www.youtube.com/user/brianatene
August 24th, 2008 at 04:27 pm
never see him and tom cruise in the same room.......what a cunt
August 24th, 2008 at 06:34 pm
Hey man, Rappaport rocks. gtfo.
August 31st, 2008 at 01:13 am
give this man an oscar!
August 31st, 2008 at 05:05 pm
This has got to be a put on. He claims that he's a "Trekie". The sign says August 20, 1963. Star Trek didn't come on the air for another three years.
April 16th, 2009 at 09:38 am
I think it means he was born in 1963. This was probably made sometime in the 80's, otherwise the video quality would be a lot worse.
August 31st, 2008 at 06:11 pm
That's his birthdate, Einstein.
Live long, just don't reproduce.
April 6th, 2009 at 04:46 pm
Man, that was PAINFUL. It made me wish I was watching that shitty movie about the cancer kid -- The Cure, right? -- again.
Also, lol @ PonyBoy. Hell yeah.
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