Ruben Studdard Wins Jail Time

Mother nature planned well. In the wild, if an animal is small and weak, it most likely has some other defense mechanism to protect itself, like shooting a disgusting spray that disables you, or being incredibly fast and having markings that help it blend in to its environment. But mother nature never planned on jail, and that is not a good thing for Ruben Studdard.  Perezhilton.com reports:

According to court records, season two American Idol winner Ruben Studdard has failed to pay almost $200,000 in state and federal taxes.

Turns out he owes $171,920 in unpaid federal income taxes and $21,730 in state income taxes, with the majority of the unpaid taxes coming for 2003 when he won American Idol.

You'd think Ruben Studdard would know that if the presentation of someone giving you one million dollars was on live television in front of 100 million people, the IRS might know you need to pay an ass load of taxes.  I bet you this came about because somebody at the IRS was talking about American Idol one day and somebody was like "Hey whatever happened to that big fat guy that won?"

I'm thinking if he goes to jail, he's going to have to compete in another type of contest.

EDITOR'S NOTE: I don't particularly think this joke is that great, I just love the Scooby Doo-esque face Studdard is making in anticipation of winning the contest and being raped.  That is all.