Andy Murray, the tennis player who made the US Open final this weekend, doesn't own a mirror. He's also never seen his reflection in a calm water or a passing window. That's the only excuse I can think of for someone to grow a beard like his. Not only did he grow that beard, he didn't realize how patchy and disgusting it looked, and then he went on TV with this thing still on his cheeks and neck. If I was going to be seen by millions of people, I might take a second to look at my face before strolling onto Center Court. He did not. A note to all non-shavers: Grow a beard if you have hair that grows over your whole face. Do not grow a beard if hair in one area of your face does not connect to the hair in another area of your face.
His performance yesterday has put him in the Crappy Beard Hall of Fame. Here are the other members of the hallowed Hall.
1. Richard Reid - The Shoebomber
The only thing worse than a crappy beard, is a crappy beard that's long enough to braid. This guy's pillow must look like a chihuahua.
2. Sidney Crosby
Sid the Kid apparently got his nickname from the childlike beard that's on his face.
3. Matthew McConaughey
I can't tell which is worse: The beard or the bandana. (Hint: Both.)
4. Kyle Orton
This one's pretty thick, but a good beard doesn't start and end at the neck.
(3 Comments)
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September 7th, 2008 at 05:27 pm
i thought sarah larson was the world's worst beard.
September 8th, 2008 at 12:55 am
how could you forget Arnold form Running Man!?