Megan Fox Makes Out With Strippers

I was watching the movie Predator the other day and I started thinking, "I wonder how they came up with the Predator." Like, I kinda think it was a bunch of people in a room and they had a picture of him up on a screen and were like "okay, I think we've done it. I think we've made the most bad ass movie character of all time. He looks super awesome, he's got a gnarly weapon that hangs out on his shoulder and blows shit up, he's got dreads. I think our work here is done." Then everybody was packing up their stuff and getting ready to leave and one guy was like "Wait." and everyone paused for a moment and he said "What if....he was invisible." Then it was super silent for a moment and then one guy starts slow clapping and everybody joins in. I bring that up because when I see Megan Fox, she seems like there's no way she could be hotter, and then all of a sudden she says some shit like this:

The 22-year-old actress, reveals in October's GQ that she once had a fling with a female stripper named Nikita.

The romance began when she was 18 and first living in L.A.

"Well, that year my boyfriend broke up with me, and I decided - oh man, sorry, mommy! - that I was in love with this girl that worked at the Body Shop," Fox said. "I decided that I was going to get her to love me back, and I went out of my way to create a relationship with this girl, a stripper named Nikita.
I don't know how I feel about this. It's almost like it's so awesome, it's kind of too awesome. Like when I was fourteen and realized that I could rent porn from the video store if I used my brother's account, then ended up losing one of the pornos and the store called my parents and asked them when my brother was going to return "Buttslammers 9." That ended poorly for me.

There's no way Megan Fox actually says shit like that. Too perfect. I watched that shitty Eddie Murphy movie where there's little alien people inside his head that run a computer that tells him what to say, and I think the plot of that godforsaken piece of crap is more plausible then her actually having made out with a stripper. I forsee a group of old white people shrunken down and inserted into her head with a computer, deciding what she says.