Diablo Cody Hates People Who Hate Her

September 18th, 2008 | 10:32 pm

Diablo Cody is upset. Apparently there are some people out there who absolutely hated Juno, and that just makes her want to kill their ugly faces. Luckily, Diablo (or "Devil" to our friends south of the border) is not prone to violence toward strangers. Instead, she's chosen to attack her critics with her gift of prose. She wrote about the issue extensively on her Myspace blog earlier this week, and in her post she repeatedly berates the people who didn't like Juno, and talks at length about how talented and successful she is. Here are some excerpts:

"..I'm sorry that while you were shooting your failed opus at Tisch, I was jamming toxic silicon toys up my ass for money."

"...Incidentally, if you were me for one day you'd crumble like fucking Stilton. I am better at this than you."

"...I can't help it if your favorite writer, actor, director, or talk show host likes me."

"...I know my name is fake and that it annoys you...but I like my fake name. It's engraved on an Oscar. Yours isn't."
I wish that she would just write a movie about jamming toxic silicon toys up her ass, instead of focusing on angsty teenage youth. I guarantee nobody would complain about that movie. Instead, though, she claims to have written a screenplay about the single most boring aspect of her entire life: people hating her. I found a page of the aforementioned script in the gutter by my house (or possibly inside Diablo's house). It looks like it's only a draft because she's marked it up with all kinds of notes to herself, but it's still pretty shitty. Check it out:

10 Responses to "Diablo Cody Hates People Who Hate Her"

  1. </a></cite> Says: <br> <small class="commentmetadata"><a href="/2008/09/19/diablo-cody-hates-people-who-hate-her/#comment-597581" title="">May 13th, 2009 at 09:51 am</a> </small> <p>Excuse me. A rumor without a leg to stand on will get around some other way.<br /> I am from Kiribati and know bad English, give please true I wrote the following sentence: "carmaker avtovaz has offered the ebrd a stake in its long discussed joint an avtovaz offical is quoted by daily.Com with free online dictionary, pronunciation, synonyms, and translation."</p> <p>With love :-D, Chrissy.</p> <div class="links"> <ul class="links"><li class="first last "><a href="/"><a href="/user/login?destination=node/4181%2523comment-form">Login</a> or <a href="/user/register?destination=node/4181%2523comment-form">register</a> to post comments</a></li></ul> </div> </li> </div></div> <!-- /comment-inner, /comment --> <a id="comment-18737"></a> <a id="comment-18737"></a> <div class="comment "><div class="comment-inner"> <li class="alt" id="comment-18737"> <cite> blordegn</cite> Says: <br> <small class="commentmetadata"><a href="/2008/09/19/diablo-cody-hates-people-who-hate-her/#comment-18737" title="">September 23rd, 2008 at 12:32 am</a> </small> <p>we all fre</p> <div class="links"> <ul class="links"><li class="first last "><a href="/"><a href="/user/login?destination=node/4181%2523comment-form">Login</a> or <a href="/user/register?destination=node/4181%2523comment-form">register</a> to post comments</a></li></ul> </div> </li> </div></div> <!-- /comment-inner, /comment --> <a id="comment-18736"></a> <a id="comment-18736"></a> <div class="comment "><div class="comment-inner"> <li class="" id="comment-18736"> <cite> K.Inez</cite> Says: <br> <small class="commentmetadata"><a href="/2008/09/19/diablo-cody-hates-people-who-hate-her/#comment-18736" title="">September 22nd, 2008 at 03:48 pm</a> </small> <p>You all sound so... bitter.</p> <div class="links"> <ul class="links"><li class="first last "><a href="/"><a href="/user/login?destination=node/4181%2523comment-form">Login</a> or <a href="/user/register?destination=node/4181%2523comment-form">register</a> to post comments</a></li></ul> </div> </li> </div></div> <!-- /comment-inner, /comment --> <a id="comment-18735"></a> <a id="comment-18735"></a> <div class="comment "><div class="comment-inner"> <li class="alt" id="comment-18735"> <cite> Dr.</cite> Says: <br> <small class="commentmetadata"><a href="/2008/09/19/diablo-cody-hates-people-who-hate-her/#comment-18735" title="">September 21st, 2008 at 06:05 pm</a> </small> <p>I never saw nor will see Juno because I don't want to watch the Janeane Garofalo wannabe going through a teen pregnancy. She's sooo over being too cool for anything. </p> <p>I see her smug, shitty face on posters/magazines and it makes me want to break stuff.</p> <div class="links"> <ul class="links"><li class="first last "><a href="/"><a href="/user/login?destination=node/4181%2523comment-form">Login</a> or <a href="/user/register?destination=node/4181%2523comment-form">register</a> to post comments</a></li></ul> </div> </li> </div></div> <!-- /comment-inner, /comment --> <a id="comment-18734"></a> <a id="comment-18734"></a> <div class="comment "><div class="comment-inner"> <li class="" id="comment-18734"> <cite> Jaimo</cite> Says: <br> <small class="commentmetadata"><a href="/2008/09/19/diablo-cody-hates-people-who-hate-her/#comment-18734" title="">September 20th, 2008 at 11:05 pm</a> </small> <p>I'm pretty sure it was a big mix-up... The oscar presentation, I mean. The Academy mistakingly gave the silicon toy oscar, intended for Cody, to Daniel Day Lewis for his performance in "There Will Be Blood".</p> <div class="links"> <ul class="links"><li class="first last "><a href="/"><a href="/user/login?destination=node/4181%2523comment-form">Login</a> or <a href="/user/register?destination=node/4181%2523comment-form">register</a> to post comments</a></li></ul> </div> </li> </div></div> <!-- /comment-inner, /comment --> <a id="comment-18733"></a> <a id="comment-18733"></a> <div class="comment "><div class="comment-inner"> <li class="alt" id="comment-18733"> <cite> johnboy</cite> Says: <br> <small class="commentmetadata"><a href="/2008/09/19/diablo-cody-hates-people-who-hate-her/#comment-18733" title="">September 19th, 2008 at 06:52 am</a> </small> <p>...i would still penis her</p> <div class="links"> <ul class="links"><li class="first last "><a href="/"><a href="/user/login?destination=node/4181%2523comment-form">Login</a> or <a href="/user/register?destination=node/4181%2523comment-form">register</a> to post comments</a></li></ul> </div> </li> </div></div> <!-- /comment-inner, /comment --> <a id="comment-18732"></a> <a id="comment-18732"></a> <div class="comment "><div class="comment-inner"> <li class="" id="comment-18732"> <cite> Jay T.</cite> Says: <br> <small class="commentmetadata"><a href="/2008/09/19/diablo-cody-hates-people-who-hate-her/#comment-18732" title="">September 19th, 2008 at 12:39 am</a> </small> <p>I thought Juno was okay... and I thought some people were being overly harsh about Diablo Cody's writing. Then I read a few of her columns in Entertainment Weekly, and after fighting back the immediate urge to hang myself in response to her childish and boring prose (you know you've written something truly horrible when someone who had to read Moby Dick and Henry James' The Ambassadors in the same semester of college can't even make it through all 800 words), decided that she, like, totally sucks.</p> <div class="links"> <ul class="links"><li class="first last "><a href="/"><a href="/user/login?destination=node/4181%2523comment-form">Login</a> or <a href="/user/register?destination=node/4181%2523comment-form">register</a> to post comments</a></li></ul> </div> </li> </div></div> <!-- /comment-inner, /comment --> <a id="comment-18731"></a> <a id="comment-18731"></a> <div class="comment "><div class="comment-inner"> <li class="alt" id="comment-18731"> <cite> <a href="http://tunhguod.com" rel="external nofollow">doughnut</a></cite> Says: <br> <small class="commentmetadata"><a href="/2008/09/19/diablo-cody-hates-people-who-hate-her/#comment-18731" title="">September 18th, 2008 at 11:23 pm</a> </small> <p>Let this be a lesson to all:</p> <p>Don't tip your strippers too much... Because they might end up writing another Juno. Guh.</p> <div class="links"> <ul class="links"><li class="first last "><a href="/"><a href="/user/login?destination=node/4181%2523comment-form">Login</a> or <a href="/user/register?destination=node/4181%2523comment-form">register</a> to post comments</a></li></ul> </div> </li> </div></div> <!-- /comment-inner, /comment --> <a id="comment-18730"></a> <a id="comment-18730"></a> <div class="comment "><div class="comment-inner"> <li class="" id="comment-18730"> <cite> <a href="http://blogs.timesunion.com/classconflict" rel="external nofollow">Brandon Mendelson</a></cite> Says: <br> <small class="commentmetadata"><a href="/2008/09/19/diablo-cody-hates-people-who-hate-her/#comment-18730" title="">September 18th, 2008 at 10:42 pm</a> </small> <p>You know, it's worth pointing out the academy only gives those things out to people who put hamburger telephones in their screenplays.</p> <div class="links"> <ul class="links"><li class="first last "><a href="/"><a href="/user/login?destination=node/4181%2523comment-form">Login</a> or <a href="/user/register?destination=node/4181%2523comment-form">register</a> to post comments</a></li></ul> </div> </li> </div></div> <!-- /comment-inner, /comment --> <a id="comment-18729"></a> <a id="comment-18729"></a> <div class="comment "><div class="comment-inner"> <li class="alt" id="comment-18729"> <cite> f-bomb</cite> Says: <br> <small class="commentmetadata"><a href="/2008/09/19/diablo-cody-hates-people-who-hate-her/#comment-18729" title="">September 18th, 2008 at 09:52 pm</a> </small> <p>Notice how on her MySpace page she only accepts the comments by sycophantic lemmings. That's like me saying I'm the best lay ever but only letting my right hand comment about it online.</p> <div class="links"> <ul class="links"><li class="first last "><a href="/"><a href="/user/login?destination=node/4181%2523comment-form">Login</a> or <a href="/user/register?destination=node/4181%2523comment-form">register</a> to post comments</a></li></ul> </div> </li> </div></div> <!-- /comment-inner, /comment --> </ol> </div> </div> <!-- Right column --> <div id="column-right"> <div class="block"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> ord=Math.random()*10000000000000000; document.write('<script language="JavaScript" src="http://ad.doubleclick.net/adj/brk.ht/home;sz=300x250;ord=' + ord + '?" type="text/javascript"></scr' + 'ipt>'); </script><noscript><a href="http://ad.doubleclick.net/jump/brk.ht/home;sz=300x250;ord=123456789?" target="_blank"><img src="http://ad.doubleclick.net/ad/brk.ht/home;sz=300x250;ord=123456789?" width="300" height="250" border="0"></a></noscript></div><div class="block"> <div class="heading"><a href="/photos"><img src="http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/sites/default/themes/holytaco2/images/headings/photo-of-the-day.gif" style="width: 176px; height: 20px;" alt="Photo of the Day"/></a></div><div class="photo-day"><a href="/yeah-just-push-them-much-you-can"><img src="http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/sites/default/files/photo/87/8853/Yeah-Just-Push-Them-Much-You-Can_275x275.jpg" style="width: 275px;" alt="Yeah, Just Push Them Up as Much as You Can." /></a></div><p><a href="/photos">See More Pictures</a></p></div><div class="block"> <img src="http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/sites/default/themes/holytaco2/images/headings/more-from-news.gif" style="padding: 10px;"/><ul><li><a href="/2007/11/29/pam-anderson-announces-retirementfive-years-from-now">Pam Anderson To Retire...In Five Years</a></li><li><a href="/2007/11/29/posh-spice-bans-beckham-from-show">Posh Spice Bans Beckham From Show</a></li><li><a href="/2007/11/30/brett-favre-injures-perfect-elbow-handsome-shoulder">Favre Injures Perfect Elbow, Handsome Shoulder</a></li><li><a href="/2007/11/30/hogan-to-wife-pay-for-your-own-shit">Hogan to Wife: Pay For Your Own Shit</a></li><li><a href="/2007/11/30/lock-of-the-week">Lock of the Weekend!</a></li></ul></div><div class="block"> <div> <img height="20" width="183" src="http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/sites/default/files/images/best_of_taco.JPG" alt="" /></div> <div> </div> <div>    <a href="http://www.holytaco.com/carolina-marconi" target="_blank"><img height="90" width="90" src="http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/sites/default/files/images/carolinamarconi.jpg" alt="" /> Carolina Marconi<br /></a></div> <div> </div> <div>    <a href="http://www.holytaco.com/tribute-men-staring-boobs" target="_blank"><img height="90" width="90" src="http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/sites/default/files/images/staringboobs.jpg" alt="" /> A Tribute To Men Staring At Boobs<br /></a></div> <div> </div> <div>    <a target="_blank" href="http://www.holytaco.com/2008/08/29/keyra-augustinas-ass-2"><img height="90" width="90" src="http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/sites/default/files/images/keyraaugustinaass.jpg" alt="" /> Keyra Augustina's Ass<br /></a></div> <div> </div> <div>    <a target="_blank" href="http://www.holytaco.com/7-things-will-definitely-happen-your-graduation"><img height="90" width="90" src="http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/sites/default/files/images/7thingsgraduation.jpg" alt="" /> 7 Things That Will Definitely Happen At Your Graduation<br /></a></div> <div> </div> <div>    <a target="_blank" href="http://www.holytaco.com/autumn-reeser"><img height="90" width="90" src="http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/sites/default/files/images/autumnreeser.jpg" alt="" /> Autumn Reeser<br /></a></div> <div> </div> <div>    <a target="_blank" href="http://www.holytaco.com/how-score-bridesmaid-wedding"><img height="90" width="90" src="http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/sites/default/files/images/b-maids_1.jpg" alt="" /> How To Score With A Bridesmaid At A Wedding<br /></a></div> <div> </div> <div>    <a target="_blank" href="http://www.holytaco.com/louise-redknapp"><img height="90" width="90" src="http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/sites/default/files/images/louisereknapp.jpg" alt="" /> Louise Redknapp<br /></a></div> <div> </div> <div>    <a target="_blank" href="http://www.holytaco.com/relationship-translator"><img height="90" width="90" src="http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/sites/default/files/images/relationshiptranslator.jpg" alt="" /> The Relationship Translator<br /></a></div> <div> </div> <div>    <a target="_blank" href="http://www.holytaco.com/milf-monday-laetitia-casta"><img height="90" width="90" src="http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/sites/default/files/images/laetitiacasta.jpg" alt="" /> Laetitia Casta<br /></a></div> <div> </div> <div>    <a href="http://www.holytaco.com/9-worst-roommates-you-will-ever-have" target="_blank"><img height="90" width="90" src="http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/sites/default/files/images/worstroommates.jpg" alt="" /> The 9 Worst Roommates You Will Ever Have<br /></a></div> <div> </div> <div>    <a target="_blank" href="http://www.holytaco.com/rebecca-simonsson"><img height="90" width="90" src="http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/sites/default/files/images/rebeccasimonsson.jpg" alt="" /> Rebecca Simonsson<br /></a></div> <div> </div> <div>    <a href="http://www.holytaco.com/danielle-lloyd" target="_blank"><br /></a></div> </div><div class="block"> <div class="heading"><img src="http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/sites/default/themes/holytaco2/images/headings/popular-tacos.gif" style="width: 158px; height: 20px;" alt="Popular Tacos" /></div><div class="popular"><ul><li><a href="/girls-getting-wedgies-gallery">Girls Getting Wedgies - A Gallery</a></li><li><a href="/give-wednesday-bigs-sunflower-seeds-prize-pack-results">Give-A-Wednesday: Bigs Sunflower Seeds Prize Pack Results</a></li><li><a href="/how-arnold-schwarzennegers-famous-kill-lines-come">Where Arnold Schwarzenegger's Famous Kill Lines Come From</a></li><li><a href="/failed-kids-breakfast-cereal-boxes">Failed Kids' Breakfast Cereal Boxes</a></li><li><a href="/golf-would-be-way-cooler-if-were-point-game">Golf Would Be Way Cooler if This Were the Point of the Game</a></li></ul></div></div> </div> <div style="clear:both;"> </div> </div> <!-- Footer --> <div id="footer"> <div id="copyright">Holy Taco © 2009</div> <div class="navigation"><a href="/about">About</a> <a href="/contact/feedback" rel="nofollow">Contact</a> <a href="/contact/advertising" rel="nofollow">Advertising</a> <a href="/contact/privacy-policy" rel="nofollow">Privacy Policy</a> <a href="/contact/terms-use" rel="nofollow">Terms of Use</a> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <script type="text/javascript"> var gaJsHost = (("https:" == document.location.protocol) ? "https://ssl." : "http://www."); document.write(unescape("%3Cscript src='" + gaJsHost + "google-analytics.com/ga.js' type='text/javascript'%3E%3C/script%3E")); </script> <script type="text/javascript"> var pageTracker = _gat._getTracker("UA-3335426-4"); pageTracker._initData(); pageTracker._trackPageview(); </script> </body> </html>