Everyone is abuzz with talk of how Sarah Palin is proficient at making boners. But did you know that congress boasts some hot chicks of their own, sort of? Here's a list of our 8 favorite.
8. Marsha Blackburn Tennessee, 7th Congressional District (Republican)
She took over the seat for Fred Thompson, the dude from Law And Order. A staunch republican, her turn-ons include long walks through white neighborhoods and not being asked about the Iraq War. Mostly we like her because she dresses like every porn star right before the jazzy music starts and they say some shit like “I can’t help you get that bill passed…but I can help you get that cock hard.”
7. Yvette D. Clark. New York, 11th Congressional District (Democrat)
She initiated a HIV/AIDS Task force, as well as a sanitation task force, so you know she’s not going to have any STDS and her apartment will probably be clean. Her bio says her "parents were Jamaican immigrants who provided her with a modest upbringing," which when translated into sex speak means "she's not all stuck up and unwilling to perform oral sex."
6. Stephanie Herseth Sandlin. South Dakota, At-Large seat (Democrat)
She won a special election after the incumbent was convicted of manslaughter. Although she’s a democrat, she’s a firm opponent of gun control, which is sort of like being an Eagles fan who wears a Tony Romo jersey to games. Either way, she looks like Rebecca De Mornay if she hadn’t slept in a few weeks and lived solely off solely Beef Jerky and Sunny Delight. Still, that’s pretty hot.
I’m not sure if this photo is from her congressional website, or from a glamour shot she took at a Westfield Shopping Mall, either way, me likey. Hilda isn’t afraid to stand up to President Bush, or split ends, as she frequently battles with both.
Wearing a leather jacket in your congressional photo means you either like to party or… no, it only means you like to party. Although her haircut reminds us of a young Tom Cruise in “Risky Business,” she’s got a smile that says “Just because I represent a small faction of evangelical Christians, doesn’t mean I can’t find a passage of the bible that says it’s okay to get naked and take jello shots.”
3. Loretta Sanchez – California, 47th district (Democrat)
Rumor has it she was called “a whore” by fellow congressman Joe Baca, which means he tried to sleep with her and she said no. She is a great proponent of civil rights, as well as pants suits, which upon an extensive photo search, it would seem she has unlimited supply of.
2. Kirsten Gillibrand – New York, 20th district (Democrat)
She worked as “special counsel” during Bill Clinton’s presidency, which is basically the equivalent of being a waitress at a strip club; you don’t have to take off your clothes, but you’re not allowed to complain when someone cops a cheap feel on your ass.
1. Mary Bono- California, 44th district (Republican)
Sonny Bono’s smoking hot widow. She single handedly has made it possible to masturbate to C-span. She proposed a bill in 2005 to raise her own pay. I say pay the woman. Otherwise the nicest set of boobs in congress will belong to Ted Kennedy.
BONUS CONGRESSWOMAN
134. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen. Florida, 18th Congressional District
Okay, so she’s not hot, but she looks like a cross between Phillip Seymour Hoffman in “Boogie Nights,” and Phillip Seymour Hoffman in “Mission Impossible III.” The fact that I had to use two different Phillip Seymour Hoffman performances to describe her appearance is noteworthy.
No good.Do better research next time!This list missed the hottest congresswoman of all, Michelle Bachmann of Minnesota. Check it out, this cannot be denied!
8,6,4,2 and 1 are all hot. I'd pass legislation with any of them (particularly 1). Over here in Australia we struggle to get hot women into government.
Sonny Bono�s smoking hot widow. She single handedly has made it possible to masturbate to C-span. She proposed a bill in 2005 to raise her own pay. I say pay the woman. Otherwise the nicest set of boobs in congress will belong to Ted Kennedy.
I'm guessing they promise you a night of satisfying sex in a long drawn-out speech with intermittent applause from campaign contributors and lobbyists, and then a few years later you suddenly realize it never happened. When you bring it up, they bring up issues about child welfare and patriotism to hide behind it.
Fred Thompson never was a Congressman. Ed Bryant held that seat and left it to run for Fred's open Senate seat. Marsha is ditsy too, which is kinda hot.
This is to but it bluntly an egregious miscalculation of the political prowess of our female politicos. With the exception of numero uno, I would not so much as let any one of these women toss me off with their hands even after consuming copious amounts of alcohol. They're downright ugly. Seriously Holy Taco, what are you thinking? Whoever wrote this article needs to bump boots with a girl and then rethink their position.
Frankly, I think omitting Nancy Pelosi was a huge oversight. She's more than deserving and I'd nail her over Mary Bono every day of the week. In fact, based on the accompanying photos, I'm thinkin' Nancy could well make my top three.
(31 Comments)
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February 26th, 2009 at 10:32 pm
haters Sarah Payley from alaska is the shit
February 25th, 2009 at 12:03 am
whoever made this is just desperate to get laid.
February 23rd, 2009 at 03:24 pm
I can find 8 different things wrong with this title....
February 22nd, 2009 at 09:10 am
I think only #1 is hott!
February 15th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
No good.Do better research next time!This list missed the hottest congresswoman of all, Michelle Bachmann of Minnesota. Check it out, this cannot be denied!
February 6th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
i'd filibust-her
January 4th, 2009 at 07:59 pm
#'s 6 and 7 are so NOT HOT [gag]
February 24th, 2009 at 03:30 am
6 not hot? hows loving the cock workin for ya?
October 6th, 2008 at 08:20 pm
You wanna wee hot? Check out Delaware's Ruth Ann Minner...
...thank me later.
October 5th, 2008 at 11:31 pm
They are all fugky and currupt! You cant fix uglt so lets send em to prison and start over.
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:16 am
8,6,4,2 and 1 are all hot. I'd pass legislation with any of them (particularly 1). Over here in Australia we struggle to get hot women into government.
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:29 am
I would love to tit fuck Ted Kennedy and spray my jizz all over his brain tumor!!
YEA! SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM FUCKERS!
October 1st, 2008 at 07:26 am
Apparently theres only eight women in congress...
October 1st, 2008 at 04:08 am
I think I saw number eight on one of my favorite web sites, Craigs List under the erotic section
October 1st, 2008 at 03:36 am
Sonny Bono�s smoking hot widow. She single handedly has made it possible to masturbate to C-span. She proposed a bill in 2005 to raise her own pay. I say pay the woman. Otherwise the nicest set of boobs in congress will belong to Ted Kennedy.
October 1st, 2008 at 02:56 am
Maria Cantwell from Washington State.
yum.
February 21st, 2009 at 08:33 am
senate - nopt congress... and sh is cross-eyed...
October 1st, 2008 at 01:43 am
Marsha Blackburn, I would hit that even though its kinda old
If I had a time machine I would really hit that when she was younger
September 30th, 2008 at 11:18 pm
The last one looks like a drunken Don Rickles put on some make up and to complete the look scalped John Tesh for a hair piece.
September 30th, 2008 at 11:03 pm
So how would it work with politicians?
I'm guessing they promise you a night of satisfying sex in a long drawn-out speech with intermittent applause from campaign contributors and lobbyists, and then a few years later you suddenly realize it never happened. When you bring it up, they bring up issues about child welfare and patriotism to hide behind it.
September 30th, 2008 at 11:01 pm
Fred Thompson never was a Congressman. Ed Bryant held that seat and left it to run for Fred's open Senate seat. Marsha is ditsy too, which is kinda hot.
September 30th, 2008 at 10:37 pm
I'm pretty sure that all the democrap "chicks" in that article have penises (or is it peni?).
September 30th, 2008 at 09:42 pm
This is to but it bluntly an egregious miscalculation of the political prowess of our female politicos. With the exception of numero uno, I would not so much as let any one of these women toss me off with their hands even after consuming copious amounts of alcohol. They're downright ugly. Seriously Holy Taco, what are you thinking? Whoever wrote this article needs to bump boots with a girl and then rethink their position.
September 30th, 2008 at 08:11 pm
Nancy Pelosi? Dude, that's like necrophelia.
January 14th, 2009 at 09:09 pm
haha, cause she's so old.
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:39 pm
Really? I thought she was like dead or something. Weird. You're like a miniature buddha with all these neat facts.
September 30th, 2008 at 07:48 pm
Steve - You're crazy. Pelosi is 68 years old! She's old enough to be Mary Bono's grandmother.
September 30th, 2008 at 07:06 pm
Fail on them all. As someone once said "Politics is Hollywood for the ugly".
September 30th, 2008 at 06:53 pm
I've got something for Stephanie Herseth Sandlin of South Dakota and her large seat.
September 30th, 2008 at 06:50 pm
Frankly, I think omitting Nancy Pelosi was a huge oversight. She's more than deserving and I'd nail her over Mary Bono every day of the week. In fact, based on the accompanying photos, I'm thinkin' Nancy could well make my top three.
September 30th, 2008 at 06:36 pm
Number 7, the chick from NY, looks like Officer Hooks from Police Academy.