Roofies Just Got Way Easier

October 1st, 2008 | 10:55 pm

A company called "Eye Candy" has created a lollipop that can control your thoughts. The lollipops use something called "sensory substitution", which is science-talk for "mind control". They come in an assortment of flavors that are designed to induce certain physical and emotional reactions by making you hallucinate images that will trigger certain emotions. Here's the flavor list from their website:

RELAX. Tranquil fish swimming in your mind will help you to unwind.


SOCIALISE. The shooting stars will encourage sociability.

ASSERT. A big thumbs is guaranteed to reassure and motivate you.

MEDITATE. The the slowly shrinking circle helps you to meditate.

OVERCOME. Images of spiders will enable you to overcome your fears.

FOCUS. Direction giving arrows help to improve focus and attention.

This sounds a lot like taking acid except you don't have to listen to some kid bitch about how his dad "just doesn't get it man, spending all his time with his stupid investment banker friends. I'm his son man. I'm his f*&king son."

Here's what I don't get; how will I be less afraid when I'm hallucinating spiders crawling all over everything? How will I be able to focus better with phantom arrows pointing in random directions? The only time I ever hallucinated stars was when I was a kid and my brother knocked me out with a plastic lightsaber, and the stars did not inspire sociability, they inspired urine in my jean shorts. I see how this technology could be useful, though, in certain situations:

7 Responses to "Roofies Just Got Way Easier"

  1. </a></cite> Says: <br> <small class="commentmetadata"><a href="/2008/10/02/roofies-just-got-way-easier/#comment-598171" title="">May 13th, 2009 at 11:51 am</a> </small> <p>Hi everyone. It is hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head.<br /> I am from Cameroon and also now teach English, give please true I wrote the following sentence: "Can global automakers meet emissions limits.Toyota will post its first ever operating loss this year as the world economic over in russia, avtovaz, who make the lada brand, have announced that it will."</p> <p>With respect :(, Queena.</p> <div class="links"> <ul class="links"><li class="first last "><a href="/"><a href="/user/login?destination=node/4500%2523comment-form">Login</a> or <a href="/user/register?destination=node/4500%2523comment-form">register</a> to post comments</a></li></ul> </div> </li> </div></div> <!-- /comment-inner, /comment --> <a id="comment-19951"></a> <a id="comment-19951"></a> <div class="comment "><div class="comment-inner"> <li class="" id="comment-19951"> <cite> pinkninja</cite> Says: <br> <small class="commentmetadata"><a href="/2008/10/02/roofies-just-got-way-easier/#comment-19951" title="">October 4th, 2008 at 10:07 pm</a> </small> <p>oh and the plug isn't long because it plugs into that box thing it comes with.</p> <div class="links"> <ul class="links"><li class="first last "><a href="/"><a href="/user/login?destination=node/4500%2523comment-form">Login</a> or <a href="/user/register?destination=node/4500%2523comment-form">register</a> to post comments</a></li></ul> </div> </li> </div></div> <!-- /comment-inner, /comment --> <a id="comment-19950"></a> <a id="comment-19950"></a> <div class="comment "><div class="comment-inner"> <li class="alt" id="comment-19950"> <cite> pinkninja</cite> Says: <br> <small class="commentmetadata"><a href="/2008/10/02/roofies-just-got-way-easier/#comment-19950" title="">October 4th, 2008 at 10:05 pm</a> </small> <p>holy crap, they actually might make it! Here's the how : <a href="http://www.eyecandycan.com/how.htm" title="http://www.eyecandycan.com/how.htm">http://www.eyecandycan.com/how.htm</a></p> <div class="links"> <ul class="links"><li class="first last "><a href="/"><a href="/user/login?destination=node/4500%2523comment-form">Login</a> or <a href="/user/register?destination=node/4500%2523comment-form">register</a> to post comments</a></li></ul> </div> </li> </div></div> <!-- /comment-inner, /comment --> <a id="comment-19949"></a> <a id="comment-19949"></a> <div class="comment "><div class="comment-inner"> <li class="" id="comment-19949"> <cite> Buddy Ice</cite> Says: <br> <small class="commentmetadata"><a href="/2008/10/02/roofies-just-got-way-easier/#comment-19949" title="">October 2nd, 2008 at 02:53 pm</a> </small> <p>hahaha at holycow, "...don’t stick a cellphone up your ass while talking to your girl or she might start making sense!" I don't really get it, but it sounds hilarious.</p> <div class="links"> <ul class="links"><li class="first last "><a href="/"><a href="/user/login?destination=node/4500%2523comment-form">Login</a> or <a href="/user/register?destination=node/4500%2523comment-form">register</a> to post comments</a></li></ul> </div> </li> </div></div> <!-- /comment-inner, /comment --> <a id="comment-19948"></a> <a id="comment-19948"></a> <div class="comment "><div class="comment-inner"> <li class="alt" id="comment-19948"> <cite> <a href="http://www.holytacow.com" rel="external nofollow">holycow</a></cite> Says: <br> <small class="commentmetadata"><a href="/2008/10/02/roofies-just-got-way-easier/#comment-19948" title="">October 2nd, 2008 at 01:52 pm</a> </small> <p>hahahah, eye candy, reminds me brown-eye candy. sticking electronics up your ass. don't stick a cellphone up your ass while talking to your girl or she might start making sense!</p> <div class="links"> <ul class="links"><li class="first last "><a href="/"><a href="/user/login?destination=node/4500%2523comment-form">Login</a> or <a href="/user/register?destination=node/4500%2523comment-form">register</a> to post comments</a></li></ul> </div> </li> </div></div> <!-- /comment-inner, /comment --> <a id="comment-19947"></a> <a id="comment-19947"></a> <div class="comment "><div class="comment-inner"> <li class="" id="comment-19947"> <cite> Stubby</cite> Says: <br> <small class="commentmetadata"><a href="/2008/10/02/roofies-just-got-way-easier/#comment-19947" title="">October 2nd, 2008 at 08:49 am</a> </small> <p>This is a con, look at the USB cable not long enough to connect to anything, besides, that is clearly an apple USB connector, very unlikely that they would go to market with anything so proprietary. And as for emulating brain frequency's even my 5 year old son knows that sensations are an electro-chemical chain reaction. Very clever and at first glance quite convincing, but nah</p> <div class="links"> <ul class="links"><li class="first last "><a href="/"><a href="/user/login?destination=node/4500%2523comment-form">Login</a> or <a href="/user/register?destination=node/4500%2523comment-form">register</a> to post comments</a></li></ul> </div> </li> </div></div> <!-- /comment-inner, /comment --> <a id="comment-19946"></a> <a id="comment-19946"></a> <div class="comment "><div class="comment-inner"> <li class="alt" id="comment-19946"> <cite> <a href="http://bojangles.com" rel="external nofollow">Pratik</a></cite> Says: <br> <small class="commentmetadata"><a href="/2008/10/02/roofies-just-got-way-easier/#comment-19946" title="">October 2nd, 2008 at 12:02 am</a> </small> <p>Watch Budweiser jump on this right away... there'll be a Bud-pop that makes you hate Miller and Coors by forcing you to be disgusted by the Rocky Mountains and the Brewers. Samples will be chiefly distributed in Milwaukee and Denver.</p> <div class="links"> <ul class="links"><li class="first last "><a href="/"><a href="/user/login?destination=node/4500%2523comment-form">Login</a> or <a href="/user/register?destination=node/4500%2523comment-form">register</a> to post comments</a></li></ul> </div> </li> </div></div> <!-- /comment-inner, /comment --> </ol> </div> </div> <!-- Right column --> <div id="column-right"> <div class="block"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> ord=Math.random()*10000000000000000; document.write('<script language="JavaScript" src="http://ad.doubleclick.net/adj/brk.ht/home;sz=300x250;ord=' + ord + '?" type="text/javascript"></scr' + 'ipt>'); </script><noscript><a href="http://ad.doubleclick.net/jump/brk.ht/home;sz=300x250;ord=123456789?" target="_blank"><img src="http://ad.doubleclick.net/ad/brk.ht/home;sz=300x250;ord=123456789?" width="300" height="250" border="0"></a></noscript></div><div class="block"> <div class="heading"><a href="/photos"><img src="http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/sites/default/themes/holytaco2/images/headings/photo-of-the-day.gif" style="width: 176px; 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