How Much To Beat Up Michael Lohan?

I've never paid money to fight a celebrity. The closest I've come is one time I paid a 10 dollar cover to get into a music show, and I accidentally bumped into the chick who played Punky Brewster and she turned around really angrily, and told me to "watch where the f*&k you're going." Anyway, I'm not sure if Michael Lohan is a celebrity, but if you have a few hundred dollars, you can try and beat the shit out of him. Splashnewsonline.com reports:

Michael Lohan is set to find out who bid to fight him at this years annual Fight For Charity in NYC. Lindsay Lohan's dad has offered himself up for three rounds to the highest bidder in order to raise money for local communities.

I think from now on, we should decide how famous a person is, by how much people are willing to pay to fight their dad. Then the studios could use that when they negotiate the star's contracts. "I don't know Tom, I'm looking at the numbers and it looks like people just aren't paying what they used to, to hypothetically beat the shit out of your dad. I'm sorry, but I think you're a no go for Mission Impossible 4."

Sometimes I think, "why can't right now be more like ancient Rome?" Mostly because they used to find weird animals and make them fight, but also because if this Lohan boxing match happened then, it wouldn't be a boxing match. It'd be Lohan, and a bunch of other lose family members of celebrities, fighting for their freedom. Then if they win, Stephen Baldwin can look to the crowd and go "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?" and someone can shout "Yeah, but that doesn't make up for Bio Dome."