In Case Of Poison Ingestion, Look At Tara Reid

October 20th, 2008 | 08:51 pm

Take a look at Tara Reid's stomach. The only way I can describe how weird and hideous it is, is to say that I feel like I'm in the jungle searching for some weird medicine. Then a villager who's got weird tribal markings on his face, motions to me that there's some wise old shaman that I should talk to, and I follow the villager through a dense jungle. Then after a long journey, my guide pulls away a large bush to reveal a small, smokey room made from dirt and cow dung, and sitting in the middle is Tara Reid in this swim suit, and I have to turn my face into my sleeve to keep from vomiting.

Now, I wasn't even going to post about Tara Reid yesterday, when this picture came out:

But then today, she took that weird stomach picture, knowing full well there was a horrific ass picture taken of her the day before. She still let this picture happen, with that knowledge. And since I feel that the reason this country is in shambles is due to our repeating of history, as a patriot, I had no other choice but to post the picture up top.

What's most shocking about all this is that she's fairly young, yet aging at an incredibly rapid rate. She looks like the guy who chose the wrong "cup of Jesus" at the end of the Last Crusade, about half way before he disintegrates into skeleton dust. I think in five years, she's going to look like this: