We started with 65 of the world’s biggest douchebags. And after four rounds of voting, we have narrowed the field down to four. You could almost call them the "Final Four." Below are the matchups with some in-depth analysis from the HolyTaco staff.
The Final Four games, which will pit the Politics divison vs the Business division and the Entertainment division vs the Sports division, will start on Friday, April 3rd at 12 noon EST. But, first, let’s take a look at the finalists:
THE POLITICS DIVISION
(1) Rush Limbaugh
Previous Results: Round 1: Defeated Arianna Huffington; Round 2: Sarah Palin; Sweet 16: Defeated Ann Coulter; Elite 8: Defeated Al Sharpton
THE BUSINESS DIVISION
(1) Bernie Madoff
Previous Results: Round 1: Defeated Richard Branson; Round 2: Defeated The Big Three Automaker CEOs; Sweet 16: Defeated Donald Trump; Elite 8: Defeated AIG
HolyTaco In-Depth Analysis:
Justin #2: This is a good match up, I think. Limbaugh has been a douchebag for a LONG time, but Madoff is topical (he’s so hot right now) and looks a lot more like an actual weasel.
Cory: What do you think Rush Limbaugh sounds like when he’s having sex?
Justin #2: It’s the same sound that you make when you throw up chinese food really fast.
Justin #1: The only way people could hate Rush Limbaugh more is if every time, right before he spoke, they played a twenty second clip of the chorus of Creed’s "Arms Wide Open."
Cory: The only way people could hate Bernie Madoff more is if he was actually shoving objects up people’s asses while he was stealing their money. So, my prediction is Madoff 65-35.
Justin #2: I’ll go a little tighter: Madoff 55-43, and 2% will be write-ins for Creed.
Justin #1: My prediction is Rush 53-47. Madoff will jump out to an early lead, then Rush will instinctively know he‘s losing and go on his radio show and say something like "The problem with this country is, there’s too many different types of Ice Cream. We need to stick to one flavor."
Cory: Did you just say you were going to "go a little tighter"?
Justin #1: Yeah, he went tighter, i.e. his asshole
Justin #2: oooooohhhhhhh. I get it now.
Justin #1: yes, you get that you have a tight asshole
Justin #1: i hope for your sake, if you ever go to jail, no one goes, "Hey, it’s that one guy from Inside the Taco. He has a self proclaimed tight asshole."
Justin #2: I agree with that statement 100%.
THE ENTERTAINMENT DIVISION
Previous Results: Round 1: Defeated Dane Cook; Round 2: Defeated Perez Hilton; Sweet 16: Defeated P Diddy; Elite 8: Defeated Chris Brown
THE SPORTS DIVISION
(2) Barry Bonds
Previous Results: Round 1: Defeated David Beckham; Round 2: Defeated Curt Schilling; Sweet 16: Defeated Kobe Bryant; Elite 8: Defeated Terrell Owens
HolyTaco’s In-Depth Analysis:
Justin #1: I think Octo-mom is going to crush barry bondss. She beat chris brown, who beat his girlfriend. I really like that people find it way worse to have a bunch of kids, then to beat a woman. I think it should say that on our five dollar bill.
Cory: If we’re going to change the five dollar bill, can we also have it say, "Eat a bunch of titties"? Cause that would be pretty awesome.
Justin #2: I think Barry Bonds has bigger titties than OctoMom
Justin #1: To be honest, I’m surprised Barry Bonds made it this far. . I think he had some fortunate match-ups. He’s a douche, but Octo-mom is something people haven’t seen before. She’s something special, like a 100mph fastball or the episode of saved by the bell where Jesse takes drugs.
Justin #1: "I’m so….scared!"
Cory: What’s the over/under on when one of the Octo-Kids is going to get arrested for something involving drugs, hookers or both.
Justin #1: I’d say 11 years old
Justin #2: I think three of them are going to crawl into a fridge in the garage and suffocate. And they’re going to find a hooker in there.
Justin #1: I wonder if you can do a prop bet of like "year octo-kid gets arrested > Number of Touchdowns Adrian Peterson scores next year
Cory: I’ll check sportsinteraction.com.