After a rousing, epic first round full of upsets and douchebags, we are on to round two of the 2009 Douchebag Tournament. We have some huge matchups today, so let's get to it.
Vote on who you think is the bigger douchebag in each of the four match-ups below. Voting ends March 26th at 12:00 noon EST. Results will be posted shortly after voting ends.
(1) Alex Rodriguez
What Makes Him A Douchebag:
He had no problem taking down Bill Belichick in the first round, but where do you start with A-Rod? He was numero douche-o way before his steroid scandal started. The certified clubhouse cancer, collects hundreds of millions of dollars all year long...except in October, when he seems to collect nothing but strikeouts.
VS
(8) Terrell Owens
What Makes Him A Douchebag:
TO KO'd Duke University in round 1. You know why T.O. is a douchebag. But if you don't: he's a me-first prima donna who is such a clubhouse cancer that he's actually playing in Buffalo now.
(Note: Poll results are slightly delayed)
(1) Chris Brown
What Makes Him A Douchebag:
He "beat" Seacrest easily in the first round becauseChris is a #1 seed for one very obvious reason: His music sucks. Oh, and he hits women.
VS
(8) Sean Penn
What Makes Him A Douchebag:
You never have to wonder what Sean Penn is thinking about a topic because he's always screaming his opinions in your face.
(Note: Poll results are slightly delayed)
(1) Rush Limbaugh
What Makes Him A Douchebag:
Rush took down Arianna Huffington in the first round.There's nothing more annoying than getting a lecture on morality and conservatism by a drug addict who can't stop shoving ho-hos into his big, fat face.
VS
(8) Sarah Palin
What Makes Her A Douchebag:
Sarah had no problem handling Keith Olbermann in round 1 because Sarah's kind of a really big douchebag. She ran for Vice President with a straight face despite her inability to understand basic laws and legislation. She's also a douchebag because of her steadfast devotion to abstinence education despite having a pregnant teen daughter. If you need more examples, just type "Sarah Palin" into any web browser and I'm sure whatever comes up with prove her douchebaggery.
(Note: Poll results are slightly delayed)
(1) Bernie Madoff
What Makes Him A Douchebag:
A favorite to win this whole tournament, Bernie schemed his way to victory over Richard Branson int he first round. You already know why Bernie is a number one seed. But why not check out Bernie Madoff's prison Twitter page.
VS
(8) CEOs of the Big Three Automakers
What Makes Them Douchebags:
They had no problem mopping the floor with Jimmy Cayne in round one. Aside from having the gall to fly private jets to D.C. to beg for taxpayer money, these "businessmen" managed to run some of the world's most profitable companies into the ground by building shitty, expensive cars that get the gas mileage of a 747 for decades in the face of an oncoming energy crisis.
Palins not a douche. Way to stuff the contest with people you simply do not agree with. Limbaugh is the clear winner in that match. Politics aside, he is douchey. I think people will find it hard to vote for the real doosh instead of the one whos politics they do not agree with. Lameness. That will pollute the results of this race.
So they like her political views but don't like her hairstyle?
I mean other than her political views what else matters when it comes to a politician? Or could you not think of a reason that she is a douche? Yep thats probably it, you douche.
Nah, it's her faux "folsky" persona, her less than developed sense of humor, her constant whining that the media was out to get her, and her pretentious attempts at sounding cultured. She's a fucking moron.
Man, and I'm a right-leaning independent. I wonder what the libs think about her?
Agreed, she should have lost to Olbermann, if anything Olbermann should have been given a pass all the way to the finals for his level of douchiness. If there was a Mt. Rushmore of Douches, Olbermann would have all four faces to himself.
Come on, Sean Pinn is one of the biggest douchers around.. chris brown my of hit rihanna, but sean pinn would of hit her, sued her, and and lobbyed congress to put a ban on her.
Rush is not drug-addicted or fat anymore. At least get your facts right. You probably don't even know what his current politics are. Way to base his douche bio on your opinions from the 1990s.
you are crazy to think that rush politics are different from the 90's. In one way they maybe are....WORSE. and he is still fat...watch some more of his recent videos...will not be that ignorant anymore.
He didn´t just steal from rich people. He knowingly stole from numerous charities, pension funds and banks. The CEO´s of the big three, while perhaps incompetent, were given money from the federal government. There´s no comparison.
I thought Madoff stole from entire corporations, which ended up bankrupting a ton of regular people who had their retirement set up in said stolen funds.
i second that. which is why i went with the automakers. madoff didn't fly a private jet to his indictment. and even if he had, he wouldn't have been pleading to save the auto industry
I couldn't vote for either Rush or Sarah Palin. They are both good, strong conservative Americans who love America the way it used to be, and the way it can be. They despise what Obama, Pelosi, and the rest of the liberal douches are trying to do to our beloved country by turning it into just another European country like France or Sweden.
Sorry dude, we had 8 years of the conservative agenda and it has damn near destroyed America. And god forbid we live in a country like France or Sweden where you don't have to sell your house to pay for stupid fucking medical bills. Asshat.
What a fucking completely douchey statement that is. OK, people are really left to die in the streets of America. Holy Mother of God, I can't even comprehend the douchiness of it.....Typically unhinged Lefty argument.
Louie is why America sucks :( All the religious dolts should build themselves a space arc and go looking for god in space leaving the earth for non believing non sheep. Now, continue blowing Rush, Louie.
Hey, anonymous douche, just because I used the phrase "Holy Mother of God" doesn't make me a religious kook. It happens to be a humorous phrase, but then, you wouldn't know humor if it ran up and bit you in your enormous, douchebaggy liberal ass. Now, go lick Obama's smelly balls, will ya?
you mean the Sweden and France that get taxed 70% of their income and get shitty state-sponsored health care? with stagnant, bureaucratic economies? and 2 of the countries that told us to NOT spend like crazy like the dems in power want? dumb shit.
Lulz. Yup, bring it back to the times when blacks counted for less than a whole person, women had the right to be housewives and nothing else, consenting adults were prosecuted for having homosexual sex, Christianity was shoved down society's throat and states refused to be governed by a federal authority.
Goddamnit, I miss those days. Lead us back, Oh Mighty Rush! Show us the way, Saint Palin!
(78 Comments)
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
March 25th, 2009 at 10:14 am
CHRIS BROWN CHRIS BROWN CHRIS BROWN!!
I think Octomom, AIG, Chris Brown, Tom Cruise, Rush Limbaugh, and Bill O'reilly are the hot picks.
The sports division isnt really that strong IMO
March 25th, 2009 at 10:44 am
All the politics aside. T.O. is cearly the biggest one in this whole contest.
March 25th, 2009 at 10:15 am
Palin really needs to win this tournament. First Female D-Bag winner?
March 25th, 2009 at 10:36 am
Palins not a douche. Way to stuff the contest with people you simply do not agree with. Limbaugh is the clear winner in that match. Politics aside, he is douchey. I think people will find it hard to vote for the real doosh instead of the one whos politics they do not agree with. Lameness. That will pollute the results of this race.
March 25th, 2009 at 10:39 am
Nah, she's a douche too. I know of plenty of people that side with her politically that think she's a total joke.
March 25th, 2009 at 10:42 am
So they like her political views but don't like her hairstyle?
I mean other than her political views what else matters when it comes to a politician? Or could you not think of a reason that she is a douche? Yep thats probably it, you douche.
March 25th, 2009 at 11:12 am
Um, she charges girls for rape kits in Alaska...I'd say that's pretty douche-tastic.
I voted for Rush, I'm just sayin is all...
March 25th, 2009 at 01:08 pm
"rape kit" ??? LOL!
March 25th, 2009 at 02:08 pm
Yeah, rape kits. The kits they use to sample and preserve evidence removed from females' bodies in cases of alleged rape.
June 17th, 2009 at 11:39 am
That story was proven to be made up by some lefty douche bag, you douche. Make sure your insults are based on facts not a made up story. Douche
March 25th, 2009 at 11:16 am
Nah, it's her faux "folsky" persona, her less than developed sense of humor, her constant whining that the media was out to get her, and her pretentious attempts at sounding cultured. She's a fucking moron.
Man, and I'm a right-leaning independent. I wonder what the libs think about her?
March 25th, 2009 at 10:41 am
I agree, I'd say she's more of a bimbo than a douche.
March 25th, 2009 at 06:19 pm
Agreed, she should have lost to Olbermann, if anything Olbermann should have been given a pass all the way to the finals for his level of douchiness. If there was a Mt. Rushmore of Douches, Olbermann would have all four faces to himself.
March 25th, 2009 at 10:38 am
Rush all the way. Hands-down.
March 25th, 2009 at 10:46 am
Way to go Gay-Rod, choking again I see. He can't lose to T.O.; T.O. is a d-bag for sure, but not in the Gay-Rod class.
March 25th, 2009 at 10:53 am
If this counts as the playoffs, then A-Rod should definitely choke. Good call.
March 25th, 2009 at 10:53 am
Come on, Sean Pinn is one of the biggest douchers around.. chris brown my of hit rihanna, but sean pinn would of hit her, sued her, and and lobbyed congress to put a ban on her.
March 25th, 2009 at 11:00 am
Fuck Chris Brown and fuck people that can't spell a name as simple as Penn.
March 25th, 2009 at 11:23 am
suck my pennis
March 25th, 2009 at 03:40 pm
Fuck people who can't spell a name as simple as Penis!
March 25th, 2009 at 05:01 pm
the spanish word for penis is PENE.
March 25th, 2009 at 05:13 pm
i thought that was italian for pasta
March 25th, 2009 at 10:14 pm
FUCK people who cant tell the difference between pene (penis) and penne (tasty italian noodles)
March 25th, 2009 at 10:59 am
Madoff is an asshole, not a douchebag ceos win on technicality
March 25th, 2009 at 11:26 am
Rush is not drug-addicted or fat anymore. At least get your facts right. You probably don't even know what his current politics are. Way to base his douche bio on your opinions from the 1990s.
March 25th, 2009 at 11:43 am
I know his "current" politics, and I still think he's a douche.
March 25th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
you are crazy to think that rush politics are different from the 90's. In one way they maybe are....WORSE. and he is still fat...watch some more of his recent videos...will not be that ignorant anymore.
March 25th, 2009 at 11:39 am
At least Madoff stole from other rich people. The CEO's of the three automakers stole from everyone.
March 25th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Yes, this was my thinking.
March 25th, 2009 at 01:30 pm
He didn´t just steal from rich people. He knowingly stole from numerous charities, pension funds and banks. The CEO´s of the big three, while perhaps incompetent, were given money from the federal government. There´s no comparison.
March 25th, 2009 at 02:58 pm
I thought Madoff stole from entire corporations, which ended up bankrupting a ton of regular people who had their retirement set up in said stolen funds.
March 25th, 2009 at 11:40 am
are you seriously defending rush?
March 25th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
Palin v Rush Limbaugh in Round 2?
You guys need to work on your seeding.
March 25th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
LOL agreed.
March 25th, 2009 at 07:51 pm
i second that. which is why i went with the automakers. madoff didn't fly a private jet to his indictment. and even if he had, he wouldn't have been pleading to save the auto industry
March 25th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
Palin was a heartbeat away from a septagenarian heart that was tortured in Vietnam. You gotta be kidding me.
PALIN for D-BAG
March 25th, 2009 at 01:00 pm
VINCE OFFER (shamwow guy) IS NOT A DOUCHEBAG. HE IS MY HERO.
March 25th, 2009 at 01:30 pm
And you are clearly a doucebag, too. Vince is a doucebag, and you worship him!
March 25th, 2009 at 01:29 pm
I couldn't vote for either Rush or Sarah Palin. They are both good, strong conservative Americans who love America the way it used to be, and the way it can be. They despise what Obama, Pelosi, and the rest of the liberal douches are trying to do to our beloved country by turning it into just another European country like France or Sweden.
March 25th, 2009 at 01:43 pm
Sorry dude, we had 8 years of the conservative agenda and it has damn near destroyed America. And god forbid we live in a country like France or Sweden where you don't have to sell your house to pay for stupid fucking medical bills. Asshat.
March 25th, 2009 at 01:56 pm
Your government spends more money on people with big shiny guns than it does on it citizens healthcare.
March 25th, 2009 at 04:07 pm
Yet people flock to this country when they need an urgent operation or even just want quality health care.
March 25th, 2009 at 04:32 pm
Unless they're 1 of the 50 million uninsured Americans who are left to die in the fucking street.
March 25th, 2009 at 04:48 pm
What a fucking completely douchey statement that is. OK, people are really left to die in the streets of America. Holy Mother of God, I can't even comprehend the douchiness of it.....Typically unhinged Lefty argument.
March 25th, 2009 at 11:01 pm
OK, i exaggerated. They don't die in the streets, they die of easily treatable diseases at home because they can't afford to see a doctor.
March 25th, 2009 at 11:18 pm
Louie is why America sucks :( All the religious dolts should build themselves a space arc and go looking for god in space leaving the earth for non believing non sheep. Now, continue blowing Rush, Louie.
March 26th, 2009 at 10:35 am
Hey, anonymous douche, just because I used the phrase "Holy Mother of God" doesn't make me a religious kook. It happens to be a humorous phrase, but then, you wouldn't know humor if it ran up and bit you in your enormous, douchebaggy liberal ass. Now, go lick Obama's smelly balls, will ya?
March 26th, 2009 at 10:37 am
Typical liberal, they throw ridiculous statements out there, and the minute you challenge them, they back off and say they exaggerated. You douche.
March 25th, 2009 at 10:10 pm
you mean the Sweden and France that get taxed 70% of their income and get shitty state-sponsored health care? with stagnant, bureaucratic economies? and 2 of the countries that told us to NOT spend like crazy like the dems in power want? dumb shit.
March 25th, 2009 at 02:14 pm
Lulz. Yup, bring it back to the times when blacks counted for less than a whole person, women had the right to be housewives and nothing else, consenting adults were prosecuted for having homosexual sex, Christianity was shoved down society's throat and states refused to be governed by a federal authority.
Goddamnit, I miss those days. Lead us back, Oh Mighty Rush! Show us the way, Saint Palin!
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