After a rousing, epic first round full of upsets and douchebags, we are on to round two of the 2009 Douchebag Tournament. We have some huge matchups today, so let's get to it.
Vote on who you think is the bigger douchebag in each of the four match-ups below. Voting ends March 26th at 12:00 noon EST. Results will be posted shortly after voting ends.
(1) Alex Rodriguez
What Makes Him A Douchebag:
He had no problem taking down Bill Belichick in the first round, but where do you start with A-Rod? He was numero douche-o way before his steroid scandal started. The certified clubhouse cancer, collects hundreds of millions of dollars all year long...except in October, when he seems to collect nothing but strikeouts.
VS
(8) Terrell Owens
What Makes Him A Douchebag:
TO KO'd Duke University in round 1. You know why T.O. is a douchebag. But if you don't: he's a me-first prima donna who is such a clubhouse cancer that he's actually playing in Buffalo now.
(Note: Poll results are slightly delayed)
(1) Chris Brown
What Makes Him A Douchebag:
He "beat" Seacrest easily in the first round becauseChris is a #1 seed for one very obvious reason: His music sucks. Oh, and he hits women.
VS
(8) Sean Penn
What Makes Him A Douchebag:
You never have to wonder what Sean Penn is thinking about a topic because he's always screaming his opinions in your face.
(Note: Poll results are slightly delayed)
(1) Rush Limbaugh
What Makes Him A Douchebag:
Rush took down Arianna Huffington in the first round.There's nothing more annoying than getting a lecture on morality and conservatism by a drug addict who can't stop shoving ho-hos into his big, fat face.
VS
(8) Sarah Palin
What Makes Her A Douchebag:
Sarah had no problem handling Keith Olbermann in round 1 because Sarah's kind of a really big douchebag. She ran for Vice President with a straight face despite her inability to understand basic laws and legislation. She's also a douchebag because of her steadfast devotion to abstinence education despite having a pregnant teen daughter. If you need more examples, just type "Sarah Palin" into any web browser and I'm sure whatever comes up with prove her douchebaggery.
(Note: Poll results are slightly delayed)
(1) Bernie Madoff
What Makes Him A Douchebag:
A favorite to win this whole tournament, Bernie schemed his way to victory over Richard Branson int he first round. You already know why Bernie is a number one seed. But why not check out Bernie Madoff's prison Twitter page.
VS
(8) CEOs of the Big Three Automakers
What Makes Them Douchebags:
They had no problem mopping the floor with Jimmy Cayne in round one. Aside from having the gall to fly private jets to D.C. to beg for taxpayer money, these "businessmen" managed to run some of the world's most profitable companies into the ground by building shitty, expensive cars that get the gas mileage of a 747 for decades in the face of an oncoming energy crisis.
A-rod likes hookers! he should bone them in october so he can finally get that "Home run" he needs. as for rush....everyone knows he's really fred savage right?
I had to change my vote from TO to arod. TO was given an award today from the Alzheimer association for contributing time and money towards finding a cure. What does arod do with his time besides banging hookers and being a total douchebag?
seriosuly i am not saying this to be political but why is nacy peloci not on this list ... i mean for saying america will lose 500 million jobs this year . owning jets that she uses tax payer money to fuel but then bitches the auto makers out for haveing jats ...umm for haveing a iq score lower then a funtionally retarded person
(78 Comments)
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
March 25th, 2009 at 10:06 pm
old america - discrimination = perfect country, end of story.
March 26th, 2009 at 12:07 am
sounds good to me fucker
March 26th, 2009 at 12:09 am
"back to the times when blacks counted for less than a whole person"
Whaa? Are you implying they count as anything more right now?
March 25th, 2009 at 02:50 pm
Amen Louie!
March 26th, 2009 at 07:07 am
Amen Louie!!! The people saying "You don't like Obama cause he is black" should be on the list to vote for being douchebags.
March 25th, 2009 at 04:40 pm
Holy shit, THAT just HAPPENED.
March 25th, 2009 at 09:28 pm
Louie hates black people. FYI.
March 25th, 2009 at 01:32 pm
Why is Glenn Beck not in the tournament?
March 25th, 2009 at 01:36 pm
He is. He's going up against Michael Moore soon.
March 25th, 2009 at 01:45 pm
Awesome. That should be a good match.
March 25th, 2009 at 04:33 pm
Only if the dildo with the bot or whatever doesn't show up again.
March 25th, 2009 at 03:11 pm
hey chris why arent you in the tournament? you seem to me to be a pretty big douchebag
March 25th, 2009 at 03:50 pm
How about, whoever wins, the writers of HolyTaco have to make a legitimate attempt to assassinate.
March 25th, 2009 at 03:54 pm
A-rod likes hookers! he should bone them in october so he can finally get that "Home run" he needs. as for rush....everyone knows he's really fred savage right?
March 25th, 2009 at 04:38 pm
Rumor is Fred Savage is also Michael Moore.
March 25th, 2009 at 04:34 pm
How did Bobby Jindal not make the tournament? http://slumdoggovernor.com/Home_files/jinlim.jpg
March 25th, 2009 at 06:38 pm
By pwning Prop 8 supporters, Sean Penn should be disqualified from the douche tournament solely for that
March 25th, 2009 at 07:50 pm
Obama's not on the list cuz he'd win too fast... that wouldn't be any fun
March 25th, 2009 at 09:44 pm
You're just saying that because he's black.
www.bonethefish.com
March 25th, 2009 at 10:41 pm
No, he's saying it because he's a fackin' moron.
March 25th, 2009 at 09:48 pm
Come on people! A-Rod is going to lose to TO? A-Rod is the super-douche of the moment. He should easily win the sports bracket outright.
www.bonethefish.com
March 25th, 2009 at 11:42 pm
yeah, but that's just it. a-rod is the super-douche of the moment, but t.o. has been a douche his ENTIRE CAREER.
March 25th, 2009 at 11:53 pm
I had to change my vote from TO to arod. TO was given an award today from the Alzheimer association for contributing time and money towards finding a cure. What does arod do with his time besides banging hookers and being a total douchebag?
March 26th, 2009 at 05:48 am
seriosuly i am not saying this to be political but why is nacy peloci not on this list ... i mean for saying america will lose 500 million jobs this year . owning jets that she uses tax payer money to fuel but then bitches the auto makers out for haveing jats ...umm for haveing a iq score lower then a funtionally retarded person
March 26th, 2009 at 08:05 am
No, that doesn't sound political at all...
March 26th, 2009 at 08:15 am
Is this the rumor that started your tantrum?
http://www.snopes.com/politics/pelosi/jet.asp
March 26th, 2009 at 08:25 am
"umm for haveing a iq score lower then a funtionally retarded person"
I can find at least three errors in this sentence...and you're saying she has a low I.Q.?
March 26th, 2009 at 08:35 am
The real question is: why aren't YOU on this list? People who type like they're retarded (you) probably shouldn't toss around that word too much.
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