Welcome to HolyTaco's 2009 Douchebag Tournament! It's the only tournament in the world that pits 64 douchebags in a winner-take-all tourney, voted on by you, to determine who is crowned the Biggest Douchebag of 2009.
We took 16 douchebags from the fields of Entertainment, Sports, Business, and Politics, ranked them accordingly and matched them up in a manner similar to a crazy tournament between February and April that we can't name due to legal issues. So, the #1 ranked douchebag in each division plays the #16 ranked douchebag, the #2 ranked douchebag plays the #15 ranked douchebag and so on.
Each day we'll show the results and update the brackets to let you know who's advancing towards becoming the 2009 Douchebag Of The Year. Here's an up-to-date breakdown of all four brackets:
I can't believe Belichick is such a low seed! But even if he were to get past A-Rod, Duke would be waiting in the second round, and that's a whole team of douchiness. Bad, bad break for Bill...his douchebag disses of Eric Mangina should have at least earned him a couple spots higher in seeding.
why is the shamwow guy on there? what has he ever done to anyone but entertain with his roboticaly sharp eyebrows. Also Dane Cook should be at least a 4 seed if not higher, he is currently my cinderella pick he just has to get past a very very tough second round match with heidi and spencer(another person too low on the bracket)
I always laugh at how the loony far left of the US categorizes Barry as some kind of neocon lite in a Democretin's clothes. I guess something closer to the civil liberties abuse of Hugo Chavez, the goosestepping of Kim Jung Il, and the ethnic cleansing of Slobodan Milosevic would be more to their liking. Oh, I almost forgot how "Blame Israel and the Jews for everything" has become the rally cry for the unbathed, ignorant neo-left.
A lefty or neo-lefty is someone who doesn't give 10 seconds of analytical thought to an idea that is not 100% in line his/her own knee-jerk ideas (insolent, pompous asses to the end), and that's why they're dumb and will stay that way.
I can't believe seacrest is in the play-in-game for a 16 seed. While there is a whole lot of douche in the entertainment division, that guy takes the cake. Or dick in the butt, which ever works for you.
spencer has enough douche running through his veins to run away with this no problem, but when you add his captain douche girlfriend heidi there's really no question. . . . .spencer and heidi by far are the biggest balls of douche on any of these lists
And why is everyone voting for Seacrest? He is at least nice to people. Heigl is known to be the biggest bitch in Hwood right now. EVERYONE that works with her can't stand her.
Couldn't agree more. She's way more of a douche, than seacrest. He's more corny than douche. You think he picks what the producers of his shows want the topics to be. Atleast he does his jobs and doesn't badmouth the people who help him.
I figured she's losing cuz she has boobs, but come on men. Have some dignity stop letting boobs make your decisions for you.
The only reason any guy knows her name is because of Knocked Up. A movie she slammed for being sexist. Once again. Take the check and run. You dirty wench.
Wish Bush was not on list cause of all the lovers/haters who will mega-vote for both sides. Too much emotion tied into him to give all those other very very douchey politics candidates a fair shot at the brass ring. Replace him with Sean Hannity or Barney Frank.
This comment has "asinine partitionship" written all over it. Here's a little truth check on how Obama is doing so far on his promises from a neutral source:
http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/promises/
Wow, it's amazing what five minutes on Google will find you...
it is amazing how five minutes on google and you can pretty much find evidence for any hairbrained idea .... thank you google , for making sure the facts don`t get in the way of opinion .
Dude, how is out communist dictator president Obama not on that list. I smell taint all over that political showdown. How could he not be on it when he has spent more in his first two months as president that every damn president in history combined! (including funding 2 world wars!) I say replace Huffington with Obama.
Oh the old "here's a statistic that sounds real" argument. Leaving aside the fact that half the spending is accountable to the corporate bailout and pet projects spending that BUSH began over a year ago, you still have to account for inflation and even then it's still not even remotely true. Don't try to claim something scholarly if you're not going to back it up
(369 Comments)
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
March 18th, 2009 at 10:34 am
Wow. I never realized just how many people I want dead. Heidi and Spencer FTW.
October 28th, 2009 at 03:52 pm
^ i want you dead
March 18th, 2009 at 10:49 am
I can't believe Belichick is such a low seed! But even if he were to get past A-Rod, Duke would be waiting in the second round, and that's a whole team of douchiness. Bad, bad break for Bill...his douchebag disses of Eric Mangina should have at least earned him a couple spots higher in seeding.
March 18th, 2009 at 11:16 am
why is the shamwow guy on there? what has he ever done to anyone but entertain with his roboticaly sharp eyebrows. Also Dane Cook should be at least a 4 seed if not higher, he is currently my cinderella pick he just has to get past a very very tough second round match with heidi and spencer(another person too low on the bracket)
March 18th, 2009 at 11:16 am
I can't believe Barry Obama isn't on there...that d-bag is trying socialize our country.
March 18th, 2009 at 01:33 pm
Socialize our country? Pff, I wish. He's just a bit left of Bush, which, while it's definitely not a bad thing, isn't nearly left enough.
October 29th, 2009 at 03:36 am
I always laugh at how the loony far left of the US categorizes Barry as some kind of neocon lite in a Democretin's clothes. I guess something closer to the civil liberties abuse of Hugo Chavez, the goosestepping of Kim Jung Il, and the ethnic cleansing of Slobodan Milosevic would be more to their liking. Oh, I almost forgot how "Blame Israel and the Jews for everything" has become the rally cry for the unbathed, ignorant neo-left.
A lefty or neo-lefty is someone who doesn't give 10 seconds of analytical thought to an idea that is not 100% in line his/her own knee-jerk ideas (insolent, pompous asses to the end), and that's why they're dumb and will stay that way.
March 18th, 2009 at 11:34 am
no Fred Durst? i guess he's been out of the loop for awhile now.
March 18th, 2009 at 11:37 am
The Political division must have been a bitch to rank properly. They are all of equal doucheness.
March 18th, 2009 at 11:37 am
I can't believe seacrest is in the play-in-game for a 16 seed. While there is a whole lot of douche in the entertainment division, that guy takes the cake. Or dick in the butt, which ever works for you.
March 18th, 2009 at 11:37 am
spencer has enough douche running through his veins to run away with this no problem, but when you add his captain douche girlfriend heidi there's really no question. . . . .spencer and heidi by far are the biggest balls of douche on any of these lists
March 18th, 2009 at 02:00 pm
You make a good point maybe these two need to each have their own slot, together they are too powerful for everyone else.
March 18th, 2009 at 11:47 am
Hugh Hefner should be in the business one.
And why is everyone voting for Seacrest? He is at least nice to people. Heigl is known to be the biggest bitch in Hwood right now. EVERYONE that works with her can't stand her.
March 18th, 2009 at 11:57 am
She has boobs....just sayin.
March 18th, 2009 at 01:18 pm
Couldn't agree more. She's way more of a douche, than seacrest. He's more corny than douche. You think he picks what the producers of his shows want the topics to be. Atleast he does his jobs and doesn't badmouth the people who help him.
I figured she's losing cuz she has boobs, but come on men. Have some dignity stop letting boobs make your decisions for you.
March 18th, 2009 at 02:12 pm
tell that to my dick when a fat girl gives me the sex eyes after I've had 12 beers.
March 18th, 2009 at 02:50 pm
@Blake - instant comment of the week winner
October 29th, 2009 at 03:45 am
Fat girl sex eyes never look like sex eyes to me. Too much fat in the way. They look more like "If you have a twinkie, I want it NOW!" eyes.
March 18th, 2009 at 01:41 pm
Agreed with both statements.
The only reason any guy knows her name is because of Knocked Up. A movie she slammed for being sexist. Once again. Take the check and run. You dirty wench.
March 18th, 2009 at 11:55 am
this may be the greatest competition of all time! i'll also take dane cook FTW! (seriously have you ever seen his stand up specials? terrible!)
March 18th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
I'll just tell you now: P. Diddy wins.
Wish Bush was not on list cause of all the lovers/haters who will mega-vote for both sides. Too much emotion tied into him to give all those other very very douchey politics candidates a fair shot at the brass ring. Replace him with Sean Hannity or Barney Frank.
March 18th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
Octomom and AIG should have a face off.
March 18th, 2009 at 02:09 pm
THIS.
March 18th, 2009 at 03:01 pm
joe kerr from feasterville???
March 19th, 2009 at 01:31 am
I vote AIG vs Dodd and the Government
March 18th, 2009 at 01:16 pm
A little odd that Obama is not on the list since considering in 50 days he has failed every campaign promise and sunk us further into a depression
March 18th, 2009 at 01:47 pm
brilliant
March 18th, 2009 at 01:53 pm
lolrepublicans
March 18th, 2009 at 03:18 pm
This comment has "asinine partitionship" written all over it. Here's a little truth check on how Obama is doing so far on his promises from a neutral source:
http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/promises/
Wow, it's amazing what five minutes on Google will find you...
March 19th, 2009 at 01:30 am
Your comment has "asinine partitionship" written all over it. Obama's "change" has douche written all over it, true truth check.
Search Obama abortion, he is an absolute lying fence walker.
Wow, it's amazing what five minutes of You Tube will find you...
Nice try, lemming.
March 19th, 2009 at 08:10 am
it is amazing how five minutes on google and you can pretty much find evidence for any hairbrained idea .... thank you google , for making sure the facts don`t get in the way of opinion .
March 18th, 2009 at 01:40 pm
this is genius
March 18th, 2009 at 02:03 pm
I voted for Ryan Seacrest, if only because Katherine Heigl has a impressive rack. If it weren't for the tits, she'd go down in flames.
March 18th, 2009 at 02:08 pm
Dude, how is out communist dictator president Obama not on that list. I smell taint all over that political showdown. How could he not be on it when he has spent more in his first two months as president that every damn president in history combined! (including funding 2 world wars!) I say replace Huffington with Obama.
March 18th, 2009 at 02:15 pm
Seriously! How does everyone like their hope and change now?
March 19th, 2009 at 01:21 am
No, Huffington is a blind douche too. Obama is a bracket picking douche, but she is worthy as well.
March 22nd, 2009 at 09:47 pm
Oh the old "here's a statistic that sounds real" argument. Leaving aside the fact that half the spending is accountable to the corporate bailout and pet projects spending that BUSH began over a year ago, you still have to account for inflation and even then it's still not even remotely true. Don't try to claim something scholarly if you're not going to back it up
March 18th, 2009 at 02:09 pm
that last comment was with all due respect-ish
March 18th, 2009 at 02:10 pm
Joe the Plumber wins easy. Fuck that guy
March 18th, 2009 at 02:11 pm
This is awesome, however one huge oversite. How douchebag 13 year old Jonathan Krohn is not in the Politics bracket is an atrocity.
March 18th, 2009 at 02:29 pm
Good call. He's definitely in next year's Tournament.
March 19th, 2009 at 01:20 am
Just because he is smarter than you?
March 27th, 2009 at 11:51 pm
Catching him banging your mom does not qualify him to enter the tournament.
March 18th, 2009 at 02:14 pm
No John Stewart?
August 16th, 2009 at 05:00 pm
you're a fuckin tool john stewart is your fucking master fag.. he's such your pimp you better ask him if you can stay out past 9 tonight.
March 18th, 2009 at 02:18 pm
Does John Thain's face creep anyone else out?
March 18th, 2009 at 02:22 pm
Tom Cruz vs. Paris Hilton
No money on that. It's too close to call.
March 18th, 2009 at 02:29 pm
Kanye West should win all 4 divisions. He is the true definition of a fucking D-bag.
March 18th, 2009 at 02:46 pm
shamwow guy is gonna be like davidson all over again
March 18th, 2009 at 02:48 pm
Kanye and Dane Cook should have had higher seeds, but other than that, this is gold and I can't wait to see this play out
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