The 2009 National Douchebag Tournament Championship Game

April 6th, 2009 | 09:15 am
douchebag, douchebags, banner, tournament
 
We started with 65 douchebags. And now we're down to the final two. We've had upsets, blowouts and even some vote tampering by hackers (would you expect anything less from a douchebag tourney?) but here we are. After analyzing the results and discounting the fake votes, we have our final, championship match-up: Octo-Mom vs Rush Limbaugh.
 
 
You know what to do. Vote on the bigger douchebag and we will announce the champion tomorrow at about 1pm EST (along with a very special "One Shining Moment" video retrospective of the tournament.) Let the final game begin.
 
 
(3) Octo-Mom
Previous Results: Round 1: Defeated Dane Cook; Round 2: Defeated Perez Hilton; Sweet 16: Defeated P Diddy; Elite 8: Defeated Chris Brown; Final Four: Defeated Barry Bonds
 
vs
 
(1) Rush Limbaugh
Previous Results: Round 1: Defeated Arianna Huffington; Round 2: Sarah Palin; Sweet 16: Defeated Ann Coulter; Elite 8: Defeated Al Sharpton; Final Four: Defeated Bernie Madoff
 
 
(Note: Poll results are slightly delayed.)
Comments

61 Responses to "The 2009 National Douchebag Tournament Championship Game"

  1. Bastage Says:

    Rush is the biggest douchebag. While Octo Mom will suck some money out of our tax dollars, Rush can do far more damage. But she has nothing to be ashamed of. She came out of nowhere, and just look at the douches she's dispatched of. A year ago if you told me Dane Cook wouldn't make it past the first round, I'd have said you're crazy. She can hold her head up high, and maybe pop out another eight next year to mount a serious championship run.

  2. durr Says:

    as noted earlier, no doubt a lot of this is due to media coverage. Add to that your normal quota of witless dopes, white supremacists who think she might be a little ethnic-lookin, Rush-fellating, oxycontin-popping clowns, and the general cretin population, and you've got a winning margin for octo-mom.

  3. Anonymous Says:

    Reading these comments over this tournament have made realize how much I hate Liberals as much as Conservatives. Congratulations, Liberals! You somehow caught up to right-wing fanatics in the annoying asshole/idiot category. Reading your standard drivel makes me grit my teeth as much as someone trying to share Jesus with me.

  4. Anonydouche Says:

    Shut up douche.

    Go back to your "Conservative" sphincter stuffing club. Stop trying to act as if your 'middle of the road'.

    Point blank: Middle of the roaders don't give a fuck about this website...only extremists.

    Its in the f'ing website name:

    HOLY TACO.

    Now, beat it punk...

  5. Paul Says:

    I'm pretty much in the middle.. I prob lean more towards consverativism myself but that doesnt matter, I'm no extremist and I'm here.. nor do I see how the name "Holy Taco" has anything to do with extremist.. Could be Holy Bagels for all I care.. Anywho, Octo-mom is a douche, she is a jobless, already on welfare with i think it was 9 kids, and brought 6 more in.. Shes a leech of society. I def don't agree with everything Rush says either, but at least he stands up for his beliefs, and has a damn job.

  6. TG Says:

    I love George Bush and I put ham up inside my shiter.

  7. Italy Says:

    Anonydouche, you really are dumb. I'm not trying to be mean. Maybe even what they call "slow". Slow and angry ... like the person you replied to.

  8. Pierre Says:

    I agree. But to be fair I always hated all people who cream their pants over politics.

  9. Anonymous Says:

    /signed

  10. Anonymous Says:

    Rushbo Rushbo Rushbo.

  11. Anonymous Anon Says:

    I have to agree with Bastage. It is a little ridiculous that Octomom is carrying this. Sure, she's a douche, but no where near the level of Rush. This vote just goes to show you how much more attention is paid towards entertainment shows as opposed to researching political matters. I find it pathetic that some dumb cunt that can pump a few children out of her pussy is rapid succession is somehow more of a douche than the asshole who made fun of Parkinson's, called soldiers who disagree with the situation in Iraq "phony" and tried to single-handily undermine the Democratic party's candidate elections.

    Well, whatever. You'll always be the number 1 douche to me Rush. You fucking faggot.

  12. Anonymous Says:

    Those were all "jokes" and "taken out of context." Didn't you get the memo?

  13. More Anonymous Says:

    It always make me sad to see someone totally undermine the credibility they've build with a well thought out reply by adding something stupid like "You fucking faggot" on the end of it.

    Takes me directly from "disagree but respecting other's position" to "dismissing ravings of misguided fool"...

  14. Even more Anonymous Says:

    well well well. it appears you too are a fucking faggot my friend.

  15. Anonymous Says:

    It was one soldier and he was a phony. He claimed to have been in Iraq and seen all these terrible things when he hadn't been.

    Though the endless false accusation leveled against Rush make me want to vote republican just to be against idiots like you, I still voted for Rush on this. He is clearly the bigger douche.

  16. Anonymous Says:

    Well, the false allegations ARE troubling. However, Rush more than makes up for them with the things that he actually does say.

  17. durr Says:

    GMTA

  18. durr Says:

    No need to worry about false accusations. The factual ones are bad enough. Michael J Fox, for instance? Listening to that turd speak is like having spikes drilled into your ears.

  19. Anonymous Says:

    Fuck Michael j Fox. He purposely skipped his meds to film that. Rush was commenting on how fox behaved on camera a mere week earlier vs how twitchy and crippled he was hamming it up for his public service video. Rush did one of those "he acted like this at first and then he went and started acting like this: ..." He was illustrating the bad tactics of fox and broke the golden rule of political correctness: Handicapped people may not be disagreed with and their political views cannot be wrong. Fuck that, fuck him.

    Now for Rush.... Fuck him! He does this shit where he speaks from a position that makes him technically immune to being right or wrong because he is just an observer. Then he will say something so rude that he knows its going to get a bunch of people fucking outraged. But its like some trick to make you feel dumb. OMFG Rush knows he was really making fun of fox no matter what his bullshit technicalities were. It is this kind of behavior that makes Rush a douchebag, not that he was mean to someone with parkinsons. He also has that snide self righteousness that is an important ingredient in doucheness. Fuck Rush, and fuck people with parkinsons.

    Octomom is nothing more than an annoying drama queen. She deserves no award of any kind. Let her fade into obscurity. Give Rush this award. He has been earning it for years.

  20. Anon-isn't-Rush-Limburger-the-real-douche? Says:

    Its obvious that since the Repugnicon machine doesn't have anything better to do(like put numbers in its 'budget'), they've trained all their lulz on 'fixing' Rush's reputation.

    I don't care what you say, there is NO excuse for taking Rush's word on a description of Michael J. Fox. No its not cuz he's cool, M.J. is 'aight', but its douche to make fun of his problems. Especially if your a pill-popping sausage stuffing fag who tries to give off the impression that he's all for redneck folk, meanwhile, he has a studio in NYC!

    Now, you'd have more of my respect if you actually said, "We all know Rush is a douche; but knowing that, Rush used his douche-famousness to draw attention to Parkinson's, and others as well."

    But you didn't. What you did do was the ol' Repugnicon I'll make up some old Michael Steele-Uncle-Tom bullshit and wind it up to agree with everyone again. Please, give it a rest before we ask you to send in your pic for reader's douche of the year.

    At least I can FUCK Octomom. Mmmm, I can feel it now....silicon lips on my shaft...watching those big beautiful....stretch-marks shimmy and shake.

    Twat's not to love?

  21. Anonymous Says:

    I speak English. Is there an English version of this site?

  22. Anonymous Says:

    I lawled real hard, and then I cried, and then lawled summore. It's all true. Well fucking said. Anon wins again.

  23. Buddy Ice Says:

    Octo-mom in the lead??? This tournament jumped the shark after round 2.

  24. rgar Says:

    My only qualm with this entire contest is that Octo-Mom is probably going win this . . . whereas most of the other contestants have proven to be time-tested douches, this woman is really more of a "in-the-moment" phenomena. . .

    But I'm a filthy hypocrite because I voted for her every time. Damn.

  25. Wilford Brimley Says:

    Octo-mom jumps out to an early lead by pissing everyone off solely by testing the limits of her reproductive abilities. She has a few other attributes that are really nothing special on their own, but their culmination results in a perfect storm of douchiness. Irresponsibility, immaturity, and narcissism alone would typically result in a first round defeat. However, combine those traits with the mind-blowing decision to be artificially inseminated with octuplets when you already have 6 kids that you can't take care of and you have a real contender.

    This young upstart certainly has a potent recipe for douchiness, but Rush has that gritty staying power that can't be denied. Rush has the experience in these face-offs for douche superiority. Look for him to settle into a groove and figure out Octo-moms weaknesses, then he'll pick her apart and wear her down. The quintessential douchebag will grind out the victory because he isn't just the douche flavor of the month. No, Rush is the go-to douche of our generation.

    Prediction: Rush 56, Octomom 44.

  26. a.m. Says:

    Well done, sir! Hats off to you.

  27. spanky Says:

    I have to give kudos to Mr. Wilford Brimley. That was quite the analysis on douchiness. Let me know what you think of the next triple crown contestant. My money is on your pick.

  28. Anonymous Says:

    Where is Louie? He needs to get in here and defend his hero.

  29. Mike J Says:

    Rush pisses a lot of ppl off. But what I hear is that in person hes a regular cool dude. Bunch of Democrats that have met him say he is likeable and cool. Same thing happened with Bill Clinton. The Republicans that hated him so much had to admit that he was cool in person. Cool in person aint douchebaggey.

    Rush gets ppl who disagree with him all butthurt. All I know about him is what ppl say. Mostly what his enemies say.

    Maybe he is worse but I'm not so sure. I voted for octamom cuz I know no one is arguing about her cuz of politics.

  30. http://www.partyjackpot.org/ Says:

    So nice, I was missing this.

  31. Dr. Says:

    I find it satisfying that Rush can't even win at being a piece of turd. Runner-up douchebag of the year is almost worst.

  32. Rush's Dominican Boys Says:

    Good point, Rush represents his political party much better by coming in second.

  33. Pierre Says:

    fucking hell. Neither of these tards deserve the top douche. it should be Madoff.

  34. Dom Says:

    What's everybody's problem with Rush? Geddy Lee fucking rules!

  35. Anonymous is code for queer Says:

    who says jump the shark anymore?

  36. dane Says:

    jump the shark... isn't it nuke the refrigerator now due to that shitfest Kingdom of Crystal Skull?
    http://tsanda.wordpress.com/

  37. rforest3 Says:

    Obviously people don't know too much about Rush. If you actually listened to a quarter of the garbage spewed forth from his fat face on his radio show or during interviews you'd understand why he should be leaps and bounds ahead of that chick. He's a blatant fear and hate monger. Plus he should get massive douche points for talking shit about drug addicts and people in rehab when he himself was secretly addicted to OC.

  38. John Says:

    A fear mongerer!?!?!!? have you listened to his show????? Look at Obama using fear to get his legislation passed (if you dont pass this the economy will fail!)!! Obama was a drug dealer when he was in college!!!!! The guy has a the secreatary of Homeland security call a terrorist attack a "man caused disaster" for fuck's sake! thanks to his inept ass, the US has more debt than the previous 43 presidents combined!!!!

  39. rforest3 Says:

    First off the economic situation didnt come about under Obama it started years ago with stupid banking practices and people living outside of their means. Obama a drug dealer in college versus our most recent former president who was an alcoholic coke head, whats your point? Are you perfect? So many Americans expect their president to be a fucking saint when the reality is they are people, they make mistakes, they do things that more often than not are the same things anyone might or has done. The American debt will never go away and it doesn't matter who is in office or which party is running things. The Federal Reserve wouldn't make a profit if there was no debt, they are the ones calling the shots on money. The Patriot Act came about out of the government scaring the shit out of everyone with the threat of new terrorist attacks! So now its perfectly legal for you to be held without trial if its deemed necessary to national security. That was done by the previous administration. I have listened to Rush many many times and each time i'm stunned at the idiots calling in and the filth he says. I was sitting in my car traveling when I heard that fucktard say "i hope Obama gets elected and there are more terrorist attacks. We will never be safe" Who the fuck says that?! I don't give a shit who was in office, I would never wish that or say something so ignorant. He just laughs it off then gets the nut job militia people calling in going "right on Rush".

  40. Anonymous Says:

    yes yes i am perfect thanks. As long as you recognize Obama is racking up HUGE deficits. can you at least admit that?

  41. rforest3 Says:

    I never said he wasn't racking up debt, but I also don't believe it would matter who was elected. The debt would have increased substantially. It's not like McCain would have came in and everything is instantly fixed and there was no debt.

  42. Anonymous Says:

    Somehow I doubt McCain would have found the authority under the Const. to fire the head of GM and absorb an 80% ownership share in AIG. He also didn't start his political career on the backs of a bigot preacher, a tax cheat, and a bunch of terrorists.

    Funny...I keep hearing this charge of "hypocrisy" directed at the Right when we complain about Obama's debt. When we ourselves were the biggest critics of Bush's overspending...not to mention how all this begs the question: If it was bad when Bush did it, why is Obama doing it 3x harder, a good thing?

  43. Anon.......ymous Says:

    Listen, I've been voting Rep for the last 17 years and I have to say: I wouldn't let Rush lick the sweat off my jock.

  44. www.bonethefish.com Says:

    OctoMom wins hands down. The bizatch has 14 kids; no job; is getting "public assistance", not Welfare; is buying a big house, again no job; gets plastic surgery, but needs gov assistance...douche-bag loser.

    www.bonethefish.com

  45. dane Says:

    rush... whether you like him or not has a fan base... and can formulate sentences....Octomom can only formulate babies out of her vagina which has to look like a black hole at this point. though it must be a reverse black hole... cause shit certainly isn't going in there...only out of it.
    http://tsanda.wordpress.com/

  46. shwa Says:

    You motherfuckers started adding ads into the articles you write? Fucking ridiculous.

  47. tards all Says:

    That some mmedia whore has won this contest says everything about this country. AIG not in the final? No Madoff? No W.? And now this is the final two??? You people have no fucking clue as to what really runs (and ruins) everything. Rush is a dick but so is my neighbor. The only difference is that my neighbor doesnt have an army behind him following his every douchebag word like a bunch of special olympics dilbots. This whole contest is a farce. You people should be ashamed at the way you have forcibly shoved your heads up your own asses, then have the balls to come on here and make fun of some welfare slut's stretched vag. No wonder we're all fucked in this situation. The country's on melt-down and your choice of #1 douchebag is presence #1 in every supermarket checkout tabloid. NOT a coincidence. Read a fucking book dumbasses. The real douchbag winners here are everyone who voted these two retards into the top 2.

  48. Your Mother Says:

    Why so serious? It is just a column on a webpage, it isn't like we are voting for your new god... Settle down and maybe laugh a little.

  49. This you're an idiot! Says:

    Calm the hell down before you have a heart attack! It's a fucking internet blog, not like this is some kind of binding legislation. People are here to have fun and ESCAPE reality, not to take part in it. Re-fucking-lax and get over yourself!

  50. Anonymous Says:

    wrong

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