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The 2009 National Douchebag Tournament

Welcome to HolyTaco’s 2009 Douchebag Tournament! It’s the only tournament in the world that pits 64 douchebags in a winner-take-all tourney, voted on by you, to determine who is crowned the Biggest Douchebag of 2009.
We took 16 douchebags from the fields of Entertainment, Sports, Business, and Politics, ranked them accordingly and matched them up in a manner similar to a crazy tournament between February and April that we can’t name due to legal issues. So, the #1 ranked douchebag in each division plays the #16 ranked douchebag, the #2 ranked douchebag plays the #15 ranked douchebag and so on.

Each day we’ll show the results and update the brackets to let you know who’s advancing towards becoming the 2009 Douchebag Of The Year. Here’s an up-to-date breakdown of all four brackets:


379 Responses to "The 2009 National Douchebag Tournament"

  1. Tyler says:

    Final Four:

    Kanye West
    Barry Bonds
    Bill O’Reilly
    Donald Trump

  2. Anonymous says:

    Pretty sure Ann Coulter has this in the bag~

  3. Anonymous says:

    No Obama in politics douchebag bracket?

  4. 80 ounces says:

    this is genius

  5. JmfC says:

    you’re a fuckin tool john stewart is your fucking master fag.. he’s such your pimp you better ask him if you can stay out past 9 tonight.

  6. Ookla the Mok says:

    I’ll just tell you now: P. Diddy wins.

    Wish Bush was not on list cause of all the lovers/haters who will mega-vote for both sides. Too much emotion tied into him to give all those other very very douchey politics candidates a fair shot at the brass ring. Replace him with Sean Hannity or Barney Frank.

  7. justin says:
    If you pick this right, you’re getting like nine t-shirts.
  8. Christmas says:

    joe kerr from feasterville???

  9. Anonymous says:

    I vote AIG vs Dodd and the Government

  10. Big Dog says:

    A little odd that Obama is not on the list since considering in 50 days he has failed every campaign promise and sunk us further into a depression

  11. Anonymous says:

    Oh the old “here’s a statistic that sounds real” argument. Leaving aside the fact that half the spending is accountable to the corporate bailout and pet projects spending that BUSH began over a year ago, you still have to account for inflation and even then it’s still not even remotely true. Don’t try to claim something scholarly if you’re not going to back it up

  12. Vic Mackey says:

    Kanye West should win all 4 divisions. He is the true definition of a fucking D-bag.

  13. Pratik says:

    How about “any Best Buy employee when you try to return your computer because it’s broken”?

    They bring out some little Asian dude living in one of the cabinets, he looks at it for a second and then says “I can no return this. See? It tampered.”

    Then the ditz cashier chicks who know nothing about computers nod their head in agreement.

  14. cory says:
    Good call. He’s definitely in next year’s Tournament.
  15. Blip says:

    Tom Cruz vs. Paris Hilton
    No money on that. It’s too close to call.

  16. Circuit City Homeboy says:


  17. Circuit City Homeboy says:

    Stick those nine t-shirts up your liberal poop chute you potato eater.

  18. shamwow says:

    shamwow guy is gonna be like davidson all over again

  19. Bryan says:

    How is michael vick not in the Sports bracket?????

  20. Anonymous says:

    Kanye and Dane Cook should have had higher seeds, but other than that, this is gold and I can’t wait to see this play out

  21. church says:

    this may be the greatest competition of all time! i’ll also take dane cook FTW! (seriously have you ever seen his stand up specials? terrible!)

  22. Anonymous says:


  23. Anonymous says:

    nope, you’re a douche. but good luck you got some tough competition

  24. Blake says:

    No John Stewart?

  25. The Winker says:

    Seriously! How does everyone like their hope and change now?

  26. The Winker says:

    Does John Thain’s face creep anyone else out?

  27. Anonymous says:

    Your comment has “asinine partitionship” written all over it. Obama’s “change” has douche written all over it, true truth check.

    Search Obama abortion, he is an absolute lying fence walker.
    Wow, it’s amazing what five minutes of You Tube will find you…

    Nice try, lemming.

  28. Anonymous says:

    Joe the Plumber wins easy. Fuck that guy

  29. FrankyJ says:

    This is awesome, however one huge oversite. How douchebag 13 year old Jonathan Krohn is not in the Politics bracket is an atrocity.

  30. Anonymous says:

    You don’t even have Madoff in your final. Who could POSSIBLY be doucheier than him?????????????

  31. Anonymous says:

    Dude, how is out communist dictator president Obama not on that list. I smell taint all over that political showdown. How could he not be on it when he has spent more in his first two months as president that every damn president in history combined! (including funding 2 world wars!) I say replace Huffington with Obama.

  32. Joe Kerr says:


  33. Anonymous says:

    that last comment was with all due respect-ish

  34. Jimmy Fallon says:

    Am I really a douche? Wow.

  35. Anonymous says:

    Octomom and AIG should have a face off.

  36. Random Asshole says:

    I voted for Ryan Seacrest, if only because Katherine Heigl has a impressive rack. If it weren’t for the tits, she’d go down in flames.

  37. Anonymous says:

    Should it be AIG in the tourney, or Dodd and the Dems who LET THEM RIP US OFF?

  38. Anonymous says:

    Just because he is smarter than you?

  39. Anonymous says:

    No, Huffington is a blind douche too. Obama is a bracket picking douche, but she is worthy as well.

  40. Anonymous says:

    my thoughts exactly. That’s douchebag 09 hands down.

  41. Billius says:

    This comment has “asinine partitionship” written all over it. Here’s a little truth check on how Obama is doing so far on his promises from a neutral source:


    Wow, it’s amazing what five minutes on Google will find you…

  42. Milo1974 says:

    I am really looking forward to this year’s douchebag tournament. Business: #2 seed AIG over #1 Bernie Madoff in overtime, as AIG rips off more taxpayer money and can’t be thrown in prison. I’m looking for a major upset in the 2nd round of the politics division, as Al Sharpton will upset George W. Bush, but will falter in the Elite Eight by Rush Limbaugh. A classic Sweet 16 matchup between Chris Brown and Kanye West will go to 6 overtimes, but 2003 champion P. Diddy will break up the game and declared Entertainment champion douche by default. However, it’s hard to imagine anyone who has been training harder and anyone who deserves the National Douchebag championship more than Alex Rodriguez. The only minor trouble for A-Roid this year will be Terrell Owens, who could dominate any of the other divisions if Owens were placed in them.

  43. Anonymous says:

    Catching him banging your mom does not qualify him to enter the tournament.

  44. Anonymous says:


  45. sweetfly says:

    it is amazing how five minutes on google and you can pretty much find evidence for any hairbrained idea …. thank you google , for making sure the facts don`t get in the way of opinion .

  46. Anonymous says:

    LOL the Shamwow guy is here, aw! What about that annoying OxyClean guy?

    I also have to admit that I need to do some research on the Politics and Business nominees so that I can vote wisely.

    Great tourney!

  47. Hoosier Daddy says:

    By the way, next year you guys really need to do some video with analysts breaking down the matchups and shouting at each other. You need like five guys. Three professorial guys and two retired douchebags. All saying stuff like “Octo Mom has really come on strong out of nowhere in the past two months, but Heidi and Spencer have built such a strong and consistent program of douchiness over the past three years that you should never ever count them out.”

  48. Anonymous says:

    ya, what the fuck. i actually enjoy jimmys new show. it puts craig ferguson to shame.

  49. Anonymous says:

    i dont get why kobe is in this…

  50. Anonymous says:

    I disagree. At least P. Diddy doesn’t drain the taxpayers. She is a dumb bitch and is the biggest douche by far. That clown car vagina needs to move to another state so I don’t have to pay for her idiocy.

  51. Anonymous says:

    Where is the all mangled and killed button??

  52. Fuggo says:

    This shit was fixed. Madoff is by far the biggest douche ever.

  53. Anonymous says:

    “…instead of answering questions he goes on a night talk show…”
    What exactly do you think he’s doing on all these talk shows?

  54. Jerry says:


    based on your post what are you doing at askmen.com ? liberal wusses that scorn southern men should be at sensitiveponytailman.com or maybe girlyman.com

    This site is not about the feminization of men that you democrats espouse. You need a pair for this site.

  55. Use your brain says:

    Wait, OK. Let’s just evaluate the basis of your logic. You’re defending Bush and crucifying Obama only “does what is popular” and Bush ignored the fact that going to war was unpopular but did it anyway. I’m sorry, I thought this was a Democracy? The president, and all politicians are elected as representatives of the people! So saying something “is popular” is trying to put a negative spin on “the will of the people”. It’s not popularity that counts, it’s what the majority of us want! That’s how Democracy works. A President that goes against the will of his people to do what he thinks is best (or in Bush’s case, what God told him to do) ceases to become a democratically elected President and becomes a Dictator, imposing his will on the people he is supposed to serve.

  56. Anonymous says:

    No you dumbass, this is not a democracy. It is a Constitutional Republic

  57. bino7 says:

    Come on. come on. Anybody with a grade school education knows the answer to this one. It’s Madoff. He stole from people not only their money, he also stole their well being, their retirement plans, their peace of mind, and if truth be known, he probably caused, or will cause, some of them to die earlier than they expected to. Worrying can lead one to their grave. The others? Their scumbags, screwups, and anything else, you might call them. But they don’t even come close to his miserable misdeeds.I just don’t understand how somebody could do this, for so long, without getting caught.

  58. Anonymous says:

    she had a few kids before that but the 8 kids she had on purpose as far as i can tell and im probly ignorent to all the facts but she did it as a media stunt cuz the first couple kids she had she paid for off of the state and the father of the 8 told her before hand (meaning before they commited the act)she was on her own plus she uses some of the money for surgery so she can look more like angelina jolie

  59. Anonymous says:

    Making fun of the Special Olympics, making excuses as to why he keeps nominating tax cheats, making excuses as to why bankrupting our country is a “good” thing, trying to phrase fascism into a happy thing using “emergencies” and to quote his own Chief of Staff Rahm Emmanuel “never let a crisis go to waste”, you know, the usual FDR/ Woodrow Wilson Progressive things.

  60. Ed says:

    You have never listened to Rush. If you have you would know he stands for the Individual, and the founding principles of America (the greatest, most giving and prosperous country in history). I dare you to listen for 6 weeks so you will get the WHOLE context, not what the media wants you to hear. You will have a different opinion.

  61. Anonymous says:

    The war was really popular in the beginning…. 70% of Americans supported it. Bush DID go with the polls.

  62. Anonymous says:

    Republic = elected representatives to carry out the will of the people. Pretty much what he said.

  63. Louie says:

    You are a great American.

  64. Rush's Dominican Boys says:

    No shit head, commenting on something that you believe is a waste of time, is a waste of time.

  65. Snark says:

    with all the douchebags in the entertainment bracket, I’m pretty upset that octomom won it.

    I mean, she’s a stupid bitch, but her douchebaggery barely rivals that of P. Diddy, Kanye West, Axel Rose, Perez Hilton, etc, etc

  66. Eponymous says:

    Idiot: They wrote up the reasons for each entrant and showed the write-up EVERY SINGLE ROUND. You display not only lazy stupidity, but a clearly unearned sense of entitlement. Please, please, de-ass your head.

  67. Erik says:

    You neo-con “Obama should be on that list” fucktards as well as those that reply talking about how bad Bush was are retarded. Politicians in general are douches, but it is unfair to put any president on the list. All presidents/front running presidential candidates should have equal standing on here because all of them are lobbyist and corporate puppets anyways (except Ron Paul). The people who should be up there on the politics side include the people who speak on politics, not the politicians themselves, many of which are up there. I’d add Glenn Beck, Hannity, and most relevant of all in my eyes, Pat Robertson. That guy has “douche” written all over him. He’s pretty much a new age version McCarthy but probably more radical.

  68. Erik says:

    Oops! I’m retarded now too for not seeing Glen Beck on the list :D

  69. Anonymous says:

    boy am I glad that no one is touting their opinions instead of focusing on who’s a douche! Not to say that Obama and the Dems are saints, but you’re blaming them for literally everything that is wrong in our country. Kinda ignorant and biased, don’t you think? Neither the democrats or republicans, liberals or conservatives, are devils or saints. How you managed to ignore Haliburton, the total dive in science funding, the poor quality of equipment and services our troops are given, etc. is just laughable. Not to mention blaming our current economic situation on the two years Dems have controlled is just sad, this is something that has taken decades.
    Sorry, I just hate it when people irrelevantly tout their views to everyone who doesn’t want to hear it.

    Annnyways, any other year I’d give it to Limbaugh, but this year Madoff took the cake. What an absolute douche.

  70. BBall5 says:

    WTF?? How does Cuban NOT take a run at this thing?? He is by far the douchiest owner in sports, which are full of rich, pampered, baby-faggots…this is bullshit Cuban gives Bonds a run for his money, although i don’t know how anyone expects to take down Chris Brown. That’s untouchable

  71. Kristen says:

    Someone should DBag all these people on dbagthis.com

  72. Anonymous says:

    Rush is not a douchebag if you want a douchebag look a obama who is driveing us into unbelivable debt that our grandkids won’t be able to pay off then instead of answering questions he goes on a night talk show he’s a douchebag.

  73. Anonymous says:

    Where is our Commander in Clicks and Bleeps?

  74. scholar365 says:

    Stop the disparaging comments and live a quality life rockin’ with this station or what ever music you like.What does it matter in regards to who supports who?Live life without concern about who is or who isn’t for who.This contest is rather uneccessary,people.It is a free country in that people can elect whoever they want and if you don’t like it get over it.

  75. Anonymous says:

    Octo mom, all the way!!! She is a selfish, calculating, b*** who uses her babies to get what SHE wants. She stated that she needed help b/c of her babies?? Well, there are millions of other mothers around this world who need help b/c they have children! Her difference?? She CHOSE this path to poverty! It was deliberate. Was was the Run to you help for those other millions of women around the world?? For starters, she could have NOT gotten the work done to her face in order to make her more ‘receptive’ to those weak-minded individuals who would fall for her scam. I bet that this money saved from the surgery would have bought a LOT of baby food,diapers, AND paid some rent…hence her next problem–solved by others. What is she going to do when the charm from her ‘I HAD TOO MANY BABIES ON PURPOSE’ scam wears off?? I guess she’ll just have another litter, get some more work done, and cry on tv for more help. There will always be fools in the waiting to help out, is her philosophy. OCTOMOM ALL THE WAY DOUCHEBAG OF THE YEAR 2009.

  76. barf says:

    Can I get a blowjob from octo-mom

  77. TJ says:

    Facts: the stock market has dropped 25% since inauguration day and the national debt has doubled since inauguration day. Do the math d1psh1t. Quit drinking the punch. Also, the last administration was throttled by a democratically controlled congress for almost 3 years, so quit whining about parties. They are all to blame.

  78. Anonymous says:

    The Businesses douche bag hands down is AIG, how do you run a government owned (80%) company into the ground and get away with paying the CEO’s for it??? For Politics is really should be the democratic part not obama cause he is only one guy the rest of the democrats in office are the a holes who all voted to approve the sure fired f in the a to america and all of its decedents. But to the real vote definitely AL SHARPTON he has ran his mouth for years and its finally time we give him the award he deserves! Sports as much as i dislike both barry bonds has been as annoying recently so i have to go with TERRELL OWENS for all of his bs’ing that he is the best and is better than everybody else, news flash suck it no one wants you and all the baggage you come with. And in entertainment i agree with the bloggers octo mom seriously??? Come on we can do much better than that but for this CHRIS BROWN he ruined his career in one fowl swoop of his fist seriously he bit a girl what a p***y your going to win it my friend oh nice touch with the whole i’m gonna kill you way to be a real gentlemen take some tips from Ne-Yo and his CD!!!

  79. REALITEE says:

    All of these idiot kids tryna compare Obama to the people in this tournament are laughable on a good day and sad on an average day. With that being said, I’m not even gonna entertain their idiotic arguments, but I do want to know what the Octomom did to make it so far in the tournament. All I know about her is that she had 8 kids at once and she’s been on tv for the past month or so…How does that make her a douchebag? Please fill me in because I turn from stories that I don’t consider to be news.

  80. Anonymous says:

    When are the results posted? This blows!~

  81. Pwned says:

    hahahaha! You are a serious douooooozschebayge!

  82. Anonymous says:

    LMAO! are you fucking serious? you should educate yourself before you attempt to sound intelligent about something. That debt has been there for years,and i will be lucky if there is social security for me when i attempt to retire, but maybe you ignorantly believe it is all Obama’s fault, cause we all know there was no deficiency and definitely not ignorant CEO’s losing peoples money and making stupid choices until January 09.

    Maybe people should quit thinking that 1 side of politics is right? who knows, who cares really. its all a joke, especially this ignorant fuck i am replying to.

  83. Anonymous says:

    learn to spell idiot

  84. Anonymous says:

    The same idea — Boston Phoenix’s Unsexiest Men of the Year awards. http://unsexy.thephoenix.com/unsexy/

  85. Anonymous says:

    Sadly, that’s how he died.

  86. Louie says:

    I thought you liberals were supposed to be pro-human rights?? Didn’t the people of Iraq and Afghanistan have any rights? President Bush and our military liberated over 53 million people in those two countries combined. You believe this is a bad thing?? What cosmic bunny hole have I fallen into?? Holy shit, you are truly a world class douche.

  87. Louie says:

    I couldn’t have said it better myself, Jerry. These liberal metrosexual pussies give us real men a bad name. I’m pretty sure John Wayne would never have sipped a frappuccino while driving an electric car.

  88. The man behind the curtain says:

    Yeah there was a massive amount of debt left over created by none other than George W. Bush. However Obama is ready to spend more then bush in a couple of ‘stimulus’ bills. Within 100 days. He is going to out do the spending of GW’s 8 years. According to a CNN story he has spent 36 Billion dollars a day since he has been in office. That’s more than the war + hurrican katrina efforts in only 70 or so days!!!! If you think you can spend your way out of a problem like this god help us. Think of America like a family. If your family is spending more than they make already, what would you do to fix such a problem? Cut back on spending? or borrrow a bunch of money and spend that all too? I don’t know but it seems like common sense to me. Plus the so called stimulus hasn’t even been spent and the markets are already leveling out and turning around…but no Obama said we have to act fast to save America? It’s absurd. You know it, we know it and you know that we know it!

  89. tmanb says:

    WOW, why is Obama not on any of these brackets? he is destroying business, trying to be a celebrity and is president. He qualifies for every category. I would definitely place him in the top 4, or how about number 1 by a long shot in every category. There is not even a close second anywhere, and let me take a left wing stance here, if you disagree with me then you are probably a racist!!!

  90. Steve says:

    dont have grandkids then

  91. Anonymous says:

    What the fuck does “tryna” mean??? Are you trying to say “trying to”?? Speak English, you douche.

  92. jackie says:

    octo, oh… fucking crazy mumplastic injection molding

  93. Anonymous says:


  94. Anonymous says:

    A democracy, a TRUE democracy has never existed. The only thing that came close were the ancient Greeks (who coined the term BTW) and even then, not everyone could vote.
    A true democracy is where the people make all the decisions. A republic is people voting on representatives to make decisions for them, because the average person doesn’t know enough to make those kinds of decisions. Since when were they elected to do the will of the people? And since when was Bush a dictator? Lol, you can tell who is just an angry bitter person, because very few people here actually know what it means to be in a dictatorship, and even fewer have ever experienced it. The fact that you can criticize the leaders and live should speak for itself

  95. Anonymous says:

    Real men all look and think exactly alike. No differing opinions are ever allowed if you have a set of balls.

    thank you all for your idiotic statements

  96. Anonymous says:

    “I’m pretty sure John Wayne would never have sipped a frappuccino while driving an electric car.”

    yeah, instead he bitched out of fighting in WW2, then went on to over-compensate for his total cowardice by making a bunch of movies about fighting in it.

    no shit his real name was marion.

    because who needs real courage when you can pretend to have it on the silver screen? war is so much easier when the bullets are pretend.

    them’s real balls there, sweet heart.

  97. Anonymous says:

    This whole deal is a total waste of time.

  98. Anonymous says:

    Rush Limbaugh is a HUGE douche

  99. DavieBoy says:

    Sorry to be mean to those below the Mason-Dixon Line but blaming Obama for what’s wrong with the US is so incredibly retarded and pathetic it’s amazing the US doesn’t have another civil war. The Republicans ran this country into the ground and you think having another Republican in the White House would signal happy days ? How deluded is that ? The biggest douchebags are people who believe that but without a doubt the most gigantic douchebag in the history of the world is Rush Limbaugh whose mouth spews forth the most insidious bile since Hitler. Way to go, Rush, you hate-monger.

  100. TarHEELS!!! says:

    octo mom. popped 6 kids at one time. then went back to get inseminated for six more but got eight (embryos divided) so she now has 14 kids that from the looks of it she cant support (doesnt work, house is small for that many people, and what single mom without any loose screws has six kids and then goes back for more?)so in all likelyhood the gov’t will support her and kids. since the story broke shes been talking about reality show deals etc. she complains that the media wont leave her alone at the same time that she does those things. she even has a website set up where people can donate money to her.

  101. Ben Moore says:

    What percentage of the editing staff does Anonymous represent with this description of POTUS? My thoughts are: This representation and publication supports the underlying and ever present existance of racial hatred!
    Thank you for your continued support and bigotry askmen.com……….

    Ben Moore,
    New Jersey
    conservative member:
    Heritage Foundation
    Evesham Township GOP
    Veteran, U.S. Navy

  102. Octo-Mom says:

    No, but you can impregnate me with triplets if you want.

  103. davez says:

    The sports division is missing;

    1. NCAA basketball selection committee (men’s)

    2. NFL referees

  104. Tyler says:

    If you don’t win your conference tournament and you aren’t one of the best remaining 32 teams……you probably shouldn’t complain.

    It is like ugly chicks complaining that they aren’t married….no one cares…they should learn to suck cock and like it, do it daily….do it every morning as your man wakes up…..trust me, he’ll marry you

  105. Anonymous says:

    What’s the matter, is your white pointy hat and gown still at the cleaners? you redneck piece of shit. Go fuck your baby sister while your mother fucks you in the ass.

  106. Anonymous says:

    Hey Taco Turds, way to hide your political views. Did MSNBC help you select the candidates?

  107. Anonymous says:

    I have Tom Cruise down as my early favorite to win.

  108. Republicunt says:

    If only Sarah Palin was in charge now, at least we wouldn’t have a president who was distracted by reading and shit.

  109. Anonymous says:

    if by man you mean douchebag then yes..

  110. Anonymous says:

    Final 4- Jimmy Fallon, Barry Bonds, AIG and George W. Bush. Jimmy Fallon wins. He has absolutely no talent, never has had any, never will have any. Its only a matter of days before they mercifully pull the plug on his show…

  111. Anonymous says:

    if anything i think he should win the worlds best dad competition i mean he only raped because he cared

  112. Anonymous says:

    And no Nancy Grace? Are there people out there who enjoy her? Dane Cook should be higher, Vince “the germans always make good stuff” Offer could bang my sister and i’d be pumped.

  113. Anonymous says:

    Yeah, Steve Jobs!

    basically creating the personal computer industry, creating one of the best animation companies in history, revitalizing the company he started from it’s failing state into a highly profitable and stable business, leading said company to being one of the only large american companies experiencing growth during the recession, surviving pancreatic cancer, etc, etc

    What a douche!

  114. Republicunt says:

    WTF Mom!! Geez can’t I play internets with out you butting in.
    I’m so going to leak your and Dad’s sex tape….woot.

  115. Crackbob says:

    No he’s busy with private Stevie Wonder and MoTown concerts

  116. Anonymous says:

    how did Robert Mugabe not make the politics division?

  117. wow says:

    octo-mom FTW all day
    just google her, and get ready to be lovin’ the doucheness

  118. Anonymous says:

    wow. Toucher and Rich on WBCN did this about 3 months ago, way to go break

  119. Remy says:

    Are you retarded? Do you know how brackets work? How can three of your final four possibly work out when THEY’RE IN THE SAME FUCKING BRACKET!!!

  120. Anonymous says:

    Why is steve jobs not there?

  121. uglysexy says:

    I like katharine heigl …she was very nice to me on a bad hallmark film….when I was havin’ a hard time

  122. RobMga says:

    Final Four:

    4 Pac-Man Jones
    1 Chris Brown
    1 Rush Limbaugh
    2 AIG

    Brown will take it all.

  123. Anonymous says:

    In case you whining little Republican bitches didn’t notice, each political pairing is liberal vs. conservative. Morons.

  124. Birdman says:

    Hahahaha good stuff. Made me laugh my ass off.

  125. Anonymous says:

    Because they’re a respected politcal news media source. This is about the years biggest douchebag, and you’re complaining about political bias.

  126. Anonymous says:

    because it says national douchebag tourn, not who is the worlds biggest criminal

  127. Anonymous says:

    Because Olbermann is the biggest douche in the universe, douche.

  128. Dom says:

    He’s not on there cause the Taco knows that your bitter redneck selves would just vote for him because. Not even taking into consideration all of the douchery out there, such as yourself. Grand Master Douche! Or should I say Dungeon Master Douche.

  129. yeah says:

    jimmy fallon is the man.

  130. Anonymous says:

    Dane Cook ftw

  131. Anonymous says:

    OBAMA is as retarded as a kid in the Special Olympics, he even says so!!!!!!!!

  132. Jack says:

    Al Sharpton has to make the final four.


  133. Anonymous says:

    No room for Dr.Phil?

  134. Anonymous says:

    Jim Fallon? What are you doing here?

  135. Anonymous says:


  136. Jam Jones says:

    Holy Taco dude, thats insane!


  137. Anonymous says:

    Where’s CheapyD from CheapAssGamer? :p

  138. Republicunt says:

    The only one responsible for so many unnecessary deaths and shitting on the constitution simultaneously, George W. Bush is King of all Douchebags. W 4 EVA!

  139. Anonymous says:

    the fact that Chris Dodd and Barney Frank are not on this bracket is disgraceful

  140. Poo factory says:

    Der Fuhrer is exempt from this competition.
    He’d win hands down so it only makes sense
    he is conveniently absent. Leaves more room
    to make fun of Republicans it seems.

  141. Anonymous says:

    criminality and douchebaggery are not mutually exclusive. he should be in the competition.

  142. notstephencolbert says:

    Why are Shamwow guy, Olbermann, and Fallon on there?

    Anyhoo, it’s Kanye West to the top of this one…

  143. Anonymous says:

    Vince Offer! I love his nuts!

  144. Anonymous says:

    Shamwow guy rules

  145. Republicunt says:

    Hey dumbshit losers who supported the dumbshit president Bush and his Republicunt enablers–Obama is just trying to clean up the giant mess that you douchebag losers created.

  146. WaffleCakecarl says:

    I hope Sean Avery goes all the way. Unfortunately, not enough Americans will be familiar with his douchebaggery and he won’t make it, probably. And where the hell is Joseph Fritzl? He’s also known as Austrian dungeon dad.

  147. Anonymous says:

    Final Four:
    Sean Avery
    Tom Cruise
    Kanye West
    Chris Brown

  148. Republicunt's Mom says:

    You don’t even vote you 17 year old meat banger. Go back to playing Halo. Waste of my egg you were, damn you.

  149. Anonymous says:

    how the fuck did cheney not make the list ?

  150. Anonymous says:

    Agreed. This voids the whole validy of this.

  151. Republicunt says:

    I eat black cock?

  152. Exile says:

    Where’s Fuhrer Obama? Or is he last year’s reigning champion?

    I bet that commie mother fucker wears his “Douche” sash and tiarra and crys like the pussy he is. When he’s not molesting children that is.

  153. Anonymous says:

    Where is Obama on this list??? I guess if he were listed, he’d win by a landslide…

  154. Anonymous says:

    I think we all know who will win this. Even though he is not one of the candidates, Barack Oboma is going to take us all down, making him the biggest douche of all time.

  155. Billius says:

    Boy, tell that to the great conservative Bush. He oversaw the largest expansion of the government in the history of the United States and more than doubled the national debt. Hmm… sounds like your definition of liberal to me…

  156. Anonymous says:

    Alright people heres the deal:Dane Cook needs to win. not only because he is overrated, joke stealing, spazz with to much gel in his hair, but is also a way to stick it to his double digit IQ fans who so arrdently defend him. that right people he is such a d-bag he makes people drip douch by proxy….PS also, fuck Berine Madoff

  157. Anonymous says:

    the fact that people still fight about who is wrong or right when it comes to politics makes you all a douchebag. haven’t you realized that it is a never ending fight?

    anyways…since we are on the subject of shit talk. Rush and Colter should just die. Im pretty sure the world would be a better place if they do.

  158. Anonymous says:

    Yeah where is that POS monkey?

  159. dildobaggins says:

    Hey guys, hey,

    Toucher and Rich did this on 104.1 WBCN in Boston, 6-10am. Excellent radio show….

  160. Circe says:

    Yeah, I think its pretty hilarious that the Conservatives don’t know enough to notice that one of their own is paired up with a notorious Lib. Do a little research, idiots. At least WE know who the players are on your side- you’re too stupid to know who’s on the opposing team?

  161. Circe says:

    I’m sorry Kyle- but in what way was MY statement erroneous?
    I was pointing out the ignorance of those who felt that this board was unbalanced in favor of conservative candidates when it is, in fact, equal.
    Isn’t Rush on the radio somewhere? Go get your daily dose.

  162. Anon says:

    You know something about tact?

  163. Paul_is_a_closet_homo says:

    Yeah. People should use their real names!

  164. balls says:


  165. TG says:

    It’s called tact…. Someting that other major political satirists seem to get.

    Rush, on the other hand, can stand up on his soap box, and just like your limp wrist, say he was misconstrued or misquoted. It always works as a convenient defense when your mouth keeps talking and your brain stops thinking.

  166. Richard says:

    I bet you were one of those blaming Bush for 9/11????

  167. Anonymous says:

    where the hell is Criss Angel! He’s the biggest douche of them all!

  168. Mr. Jizz says:

    You’re crazy. The only landslide would be if Bush or Cheyney got on here

  169. Richard says:

    Can we have a write in?

  170. Anonymous says:

    hey here’s an idea have some non-republicans on the political D-Bag section. Oh wait, the democrats are hypocritical D-bag’s themselves so they wouldn’t want to put themselves up there!

  171. ASSHOLE#1 says:

    america is screwed! we’re a breeding ground for douches! i guess still better than france… lol

  172. Anonymous says:

    YES, business division is more just generally fucking people over and being a greedy cocksucker. But, i guess both of those things make you a douche……

  173. Anonymous says:

    Where does all this fear of Obama “taking us down” come from? Where is your evidence??

  174. Anonymous says:

    Dude, half the politicians are Democrats. Read a newspaper or something.

  175. Plantin' Joe says:

    Where’s the little rodent Obama? Barry and Michelle should both be on here…Big Eared Barry Hussein is the biggest douche in the land.

  176. Anonymous says:

    Probably finger banging your fat, smelly mother.

  177. Ron says:

    I agree but seriously, that octomom bitch is by far the bigger douche. I’ll be pissed if she doesn’t make it to the final 2.

  178. Paul says:

    Why are all the freakin liberals posting with Anonymous? They all talk shit but hide behind the veil of the internet. I vote Obama for A#1 douchebag, my number 2 are all of the sheep of the American public that voted for him! Perhaps you should file a civic suit against all of us that do not believe the steaming pile of crap the democrats are feeding us. All you want to do is blame Bush. Without evening knowing the true story which is this entire problem started with the housing crisis. the housing crisis started when Bill Clinton forced Fannie & Freddie to loosen the lending standards, so more bleeding heart, tax sucking liberal a-holes could buy a house! When Bush pushed to have the standards changed, it was voted down by – you guess it the same bleeding heart liberals that now want to blame it on Bush & the republicans. Why cry about Limbaugh or Coulter – they make no policies, they speak their minds. Only the liberal idiots in power set the policies, so they get my # 3 vote!

  179. Anonymous says:

    Sorry. Religious nut jobs our side. Fags your side.

  180. Bigjonny says:

    LOL this is some funny stuff.


  181. Anonymous says:

    I think the politics one could have far more douchier people on it. However, it is pretty balanced as conservative vs liberal goes.

  182. Anonymous says:

    Congratulations! Your response just qualified you for the anonymous reply D-Bag bracket….

  183. Anonymous says:

    If we get Coulter, you can have Michael Moore.

  184. Anonymous says:

    I think the largest expansion was FDR. MM Strike that gona go to the Bammer.

  185. Anonymous says:

    I will give you Colter if we could take Poloski.

  186. Kyle W says:

    Every conservative is paired up with a liberal. It’s funny that you would be making a comment calling others stupid when you appear to be half a tard yourself. Congrats dip shit

  187. Anonymous says:

    Where the hell is obama?? he should top that list!

  188. Anonymous says:


  189. Anonymous says:

    Banging your fat ass mom, homo!

  190. Anonymous says:

    hey retard, bush is on the list. learn to read

  191. Stephen A. Douche says:

    The Sports Division is seriously undermanned this year compared to the others… 2008/09 hasn’t been that major for sports in douche-action…

    The Business division is not technically that douchey as it is more focused on massive dicking of he people… I think we need to get clear definition on ‘Douche’.. a bit like the ‘MVP’ debate… But don’t count them out… they have some strong potential there

    Politics brackets brings its usual perennial douches… I don’t think they’ve really elevated their game in the past months to be a real contender… But as always, they could be the sleepers of this tournament…

    The Entertainment division is by far the favorite to take all honors… Most entries could potentialy go all the way winner. We’re talking never before seen doucheism here. A couple of half-douches squeezed in but some of those guys are behemoth douches… I’m expecting major blowing wins early on and epic battles in the finals rounds…

  192. Kyle W says:

    Barney Frank should be #1 right now… I would also replace Harry Reid with Nancy Pelosi or skeletor as I like to call her…she is a much bigger douche bag than Reid…both literally and metaphorically.

  193. Penis says:

    Absolutely Stephen. Chris Brown and Octo-mom are simply powerhouses coming out of such a strong division.

    I have a sleeper pick in Shamwow guy going to the Elite Eight

  194. Donatom3 says:

    I have to agree Octomom is my pick in the entertainment division.

  195. Anonymous says:

    They do have Dems …. Olberman and Huffington are Dems

  196. Chubby Rain says:

    since Jump the shark became a douchebag website- go to http://www.bonethefish.com

    feel free to rip on all of the shitty tv shows you love to hate!

  197. David says:

    Yay lets blame someone who’s been in office for two minutes Yay! more guns and more National debt instead ! Yay lets ship more heavy equipment to Iraq and then bury it in the sand after its been used once so we can order more at the taxpayers expense Yay ! Lets give the impression to the whole world that we can’t abide anyone who doesn’t watch baseball and eats grits Yay !

  198. Anonymous says:

    In all the porky shit he has spent, he is wrecking the dollar and will inevitably bankrupt the country.

  199. Anonymous says:

    All these years of listening to Rush and I have never heard anything racist.

    I guess oversensitivity can make you see things that aren’t there.

    His co host/producer/whateverheis is black for fucks sake!!!

  200. Paul = Toilet Homo says:

    Yeah…I hate bleeding vagina liberals and their “facts”. Tax and spendicrats that’s what I call them … am I right??!?!? Massive government spending is never the answer, that’s why we need to start more wars, that’s the type of government spending that we need! Chuck Norris/Anne Coulter ’12!

  201. Anonymous says:

    If I posted quotes from your post, I too could say that you were racist. You see, Rush makes fun of people and often mocks them by telling the listeners what so-n-so would say and how they would say it. Easiest thing in the world to take what a satirist says out of context. Your last two quotes are him fake-quoting a liberal or the liberal institution to illustrate how they think. I notice that how fat he is is always added to his list of sins, lol. Such brilliant accusations! But you are correct about one thing: He is a mysogonist

    Part of his art is that he makes people like you freak out a certain way. I may not agree with the man’s politics, but he is funny and knows what hes doing.

    I wish there was someone on the Left as good as he is at accurately pointing out the Left’s flaws. John Stewart? No. Funny guy but not that astute. Phil Hendrie is pretty much the closest the left has in quality. He just isn’t as rabid as the Left would like. Too fair minded. A rare commodity in political commentary.

  202. Anonymous says:

    eat a dick you republican fag

  203. Anonymous says:

    I present to you just a few terribly racist Rush Limbaugh quotes:

    “I mean, let’s face it, we didn’t have slavery in this country for over 100 years because it was a bad thing. Quite the opposite: slavery built the South. I’m not saying we should bring it back; I’m just saying it had its merits. For one thing, the streets were safer after dark.”

    “Look, let me put it to you this way: the NFL all too often looks like a game between the Bloods and the Crips without any weapons. There, I said it.”

    ” You know who deserves a posthumous Medal of Honor? James Earl Ray [the confessed assassin of Martin Luther King]. We miss you, James. Godspeed.”

    “They’re 12 percent of the population. Who the hell cares? ”

    No man is more ignorant and close-minded with some many ignorant close-minded listeners (and apparently one listener who doesn’t even listen to him enough to realize the above). Not only is he racist but he’s a fat, disgusting fuck of a person who hates women and just about everyone who’s not a fat disgusting fuck like him.

  204. Anonymous says:

    Sean Avery is a riot, don’t be a bunch of pussies.

    Skip Bayless better win, you can’t tell me there is a bigger d-bag in sports…well maybe Barry Bonds.

  205. Anonymous says:

    no shit ass wipe, bush is on here and fat boy moore is totally dominating that round

  206. TG says:

    Rush “The Racist” Limbaugh should be one of the frontrunners. Where’s Bill O’Reilly?

    Octomom should just get a bye to the final four.

    Since steroids are as American as apple pie, as is committing perjury, Barry Bonds is a shoe-in.

    You can’t touch anyone that knows how to swindle $65 billion. Bernie Madoff is a legend in his own time.

  207. Tommy says:

    Actually, that would make the American voters the biggest douche of all time.

  208. Anonymous says:

    that a democrat for ya keep it up your making us look ohhh sooo good. wheres obama i think he deserve to be up there but then again ishouldnt have said that. huh.. gotta love the lefties bring on the replies. suckers

  209. Anonymous says:

    You put the ShamWOW guy up against Jaoquin Pheonix? Those are the top 2 contenders for D-Bag of the Year. That battle should be saved for later.

  210. Greg says:

    How the hell did Michael Moore beat George Bush. The guy is a fucking retarded person. America is in a sad state of affairs.

  211. Anonymous says:

    It was Bush 63% Moore 37% at 2 am last night. At 5 am it was Moore 67% Bush 33%. looks like Diebold is helping Bush again.

  212. Anonymous says:

    Yeah exactly, this guy didn’t make the cut. http://www.allhatnocattle.net/cover_dallas_bush.jpg

  213. Anonymous says:

    I think Coulter will dispatch O’Reilly. It’s going to be tough to knock off Sharpton. That guy is ground schmucks.

  214. Penis says:

    Some guy voted like 15,000 times for Michael Moore and Shamwow guy at the last second… some kind of super-hacker!

    For the record, I voted for Michael Moore and Shamwow guy. Bush is dumb but not necessarily a douchebag IMO.

  215. Penis says:

    Thats a Legit 4 son.

  216. Anonymous says:

    this is like choosing between piles of shit

  217. Anonymous says:

    On the one hand, how in the hell did Bush not make it through the first round! However, on the other hand, finally, America is learning from their mistakes and aren’t voting for him…a little to late!!!!

  218. Anonymous says:

    you republicans are the only dumbasses

  219. Frank says:

    worst comment I’ve ever read. You question the same people who will soon be running your country and are better trained and educated then you will ever be. As a member of the USMC I resent your comments on youth, since afterall, we are the very ones protecting your freedoms..Maybe you should abstain from voting in the interim elections since you obviously have a problem with ignorant votes.

  220. Pierre says:

    this isn’t fair. You should have a win,loss,tie point system in a round robin tournament..

    Shit the epic battle between al sharpton and jesse jackson is finished in the semis? total bullshit

  221. Anonymous says:

    Bush is white dumbass.

  222. Anonymous says:

    I pray for plague when I read shit like this.

  223. Anonymous says:

    But Obongo is a chimp in EVERY picture. No need to photoshop ;)

  224. Anonymous says:

    admitted Nazi collaborator George Soros? You fucking retard, during the Nazi rise to power, Soros was like fucking 8 years old. You my friend , are a fucktard.

  225. JMey says:

    Really? Really, racism? Which thread were you reading when you typed that?

  226. Anonymous says:

    vote bush

  227. Anonymous says:

    wow people make a movie and you gt voted on someone get tons of young americans killed, use are tax dollars for war, and he does’t get past 1st round seems like some cheating going on right duke lol wow

  228. Steven says:

    Will the voting results be posted today?

  229. Anonymous says:

    I’m drinking your milkshake, Poindexter.

  230. Anonymous says:

    I guess they left the monkey in chief off because he would win by a landslide.

    Hell his sheboon mating partner would win 1st as well.

  231. Anonymous says:

    This contest is obviously racist. I can’t believe “the MAN” is not letting Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson run as 1 and 2 seeds so that they can meet in the championship. Instead, letting them knock each other off in Round 2, since none of the white douchebags have even a spitting chance against their incredible douchebagginess combined with race, religious and gender baiting.

  232. Anonymous says:

    ::pisses pants::

  233. Anonymous says:

    I’m sorry “are” guy, but, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

  234. The man behind the curtain says:

    Go blow yourself. How in the hell did Blagojevich lose to Beck. Beck – a good moral man with sincere loyalty for this country Vs. Blago – a disgustingly poor excuse for a man who took the trust of his voters and shat all over it? I don’t understand the youth of today and I’m included in that demographic…

  235. Anonymous says:

    How the fuck can A-roid lose to T.O? Did anyone see the homo erotic photo shoot A-Fag just did where he is making out with himself. Unreal.

  236. Buddy Ice says:

    Well played my good friend.

  237. Anonymous says:

    wow, you made fun of a typo… good for you.

  238. Anonymous says:

    Actually, some douche nozzle used a cheesy hack to bump up Moore over Bush. To punish said douche nozzle, Moore should have been eliminated from contention. Between 2 and 5 am Monday, there was a 30 point swing. It should be Bush VS Glenn Beck.

  239. BSD says:

    It’s too bad you weren’t in the contest. I think everyone who hasn’t had sex with a relative would vote for you.

  240. Anonymous says:

    If the democrats have their way you will be paying taxes for birdfarts…so you better care “politically.” Im guessing they will “value” a bird fart at $.25 with global warming and all. Oh I mean global climate change since evidence proves that it actually seems to be cooling now.

  241. Anonymous says:

    I’m already sweating the potential of a Beck vs. Sharpton as well as a Coulter vs. Limbaugh matchup. Also, Pelosi should have been at least an 8 seed.

  242. liberalsmaketheworldfail says:

    This site wanted to make themselves think they were even ended. Let’s think for a second..does anyone really think Sara Palin is more of a douche than keith olbermann?? this guy thrives off being a complete idiot, next, Ann Coulter over Harry Reid, i agree Ann Coulter is a dumb bitch and should shut her mouth..but if they compared her to Barney Franks it would have been a fair competition. Glen Beck vs. Blago. are you kidding me? I think both these guys are douchebags but really? Blago might be the biggest joke in the entire world. I watch msnbc sometimes also, but goddamn i don’t base everything off them.

  243. Anonymous says:

    And they also forgot Barack “The Magic Commie” Obama.

  244. Anonymous says:

    Chris Brown vs. Octo-Mom should be pretty close as will Rush vs. Sharpton and T.O.vs Bonds. One has to give the edge to Madoff in the business Bracket and overall win. i am so sad to see Dane Cook took and early exit but he got a ruff seed faceing octo mom and such but … FUCK DANE COOK

  245. Anonymous says:

    You’re as dumb as a boxes of rocks and I hate to insult rocks like that by comparing them to you.

  246. Jack Bauer says:

    I hope that’s a joke. Michael Moore might be the biggest douche bag on the list.

  247. this bracket is bullshit says:

    Stephen A Smith a 13 seed?! Tom Cruise a FIVE!?? a fucking 5? and most importantly how in the world does Bush get a 7 seed when he pretty much single-handedly destroyed the country. are you kidding me? those three should have been in tight competition for the overall number one.

    actually on second thought, Bush should have won that in a landslide.

    the Micheal Moore upset pretty much killed what hope i had left of living long enough to see another country be regarded as more retarded than the good ol’ USA.

  248. Anonymous says:

    fuck ME? what?

    you said this: “Bush is dumb as fuck Frat boy who wouldn’t be anywhere if it wasn’t for his rich father.”

    LOL! Try saying this out loud in different accents. Its fun! When simple people get all riled up, they can be a hoot. A toast to the outrage of the dumb and poor! ::raises glass::

  249. Anonymous says:

    Monkey in chief? You mean Bush?

  250. Anonymous says:

    You should ask Hank Asher what he was doing during the 2000 election. The guy who helped in 2004 died in a plane crash, I think.

  251. Anonymous says:

    This is true.

  252. Anonymous says:

    Agreed, but he definitely is a gigantic blowhard who either believes his own bullshit and thinks you should too, which makes him a giant d-bag, or he is just going for ratings and being outrageous is how he gets them. That’s pretty deuchey too considering there are most likely legions of lemmings believing his sensationalist horseshit.

  253. Anonymous says:

    Every party needs a pooper, that’s why we invited you.

  254. Anonymous says:

    When it comes to sports, you have to think of who is telling you what is happening. Unfortunately for us that person is typically El Douchero Uno: Joe Buck. Yet he is nowhere on here! Please revise you list to include Joe Buck, who should by all means walk to the final four without opposition.

  255. Anonymous says:

    ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! moore’s a bigger douche than bush?
    i’ve lost faith in every single person who posts on this blog. Moore is an opinionated fat slob with a camera. Bush is dumb as fuck Frat boy who wouldn’t be anywhere if it wasn’t for his rich father. He ran this country into the ground and destroyed it’s reputation by committing war crimes and being a dumbass overall.

    fuck you all.

  256. Manbearpig says:

    Too bad Stephan A Smith wasn’t seeded higher. That self righteous ass kisser had the goods to go all the way I think.

  257. Edwordrules says:

    With or without nuts?

  258. Super Hacker says:

    some kind of super hacker indeed. In fact I heard the person that did that was the same person who hacked the election machines in 04′ and got bush re-elected. haha jk

  259. Gary J says:

    There’s no need to put quotes around illegal. Almost every country in the UN voted against invading Iraq, and only intelligence agencies in the US said they had weapons, the rest of the world wanted prof. That’s why we are alone over there and globally hated for it. What about the overwhelming amount of intelligence that said we were going to be attacked before September 11th, he sure didn’t keep us safe then. And let’s not forget the entire generation of terrorists these awesome wars are creating right now. I think a cockpunch would be much more appropriate.

  260. billyboy123123 says:

    You left wing douche bag the final two for the 2009 american douche bag awards would be Octomom and B. Hussein Obama

  261. Anonymous says:

    I didn’t know FDR was on the list.

  262. Anonymous says:

    oo so you like men butthole?

  263. Jimbo says:

    No, he made fun of a dumbass.

  264. Anonymous says:

    Even though you hate my comment, I thank you for your service to our country. I am totally pro-military. I’m anti-idiot though.
    … BUT …. You advise me not to vote because I don’t like dumb people? Are all young people dumb? No, of course not. But lots more of them lack the wisdom than older folks.
    You and I probably voted the same but you are a little bit of a twat. Probably too young to have proper reading comprehension (ie.: dumb, you see?).

  265. Anonymous says:

    I lost all faith in this shit when I saw that Michael Moore beat George Bush.

  266. Anony says:

    Fools clumping together.

  267. Anonymous says:

    Oh c’mon – Tony Kornheiser is WAY douchier than Joe Buck.

  268. Anonymous says:

    you think all the democrats are smart? Pelosi? Robert Bird? McKinney??? smart?????

  269. Anonymous says:

    Correctomundo, Joe Buck is a douchebag of epic proportion. The entire world series, he wouldn’t shut the fuck up about how great the Tampa Rays were while the Phillies were kicking their asses.

  270. Gary J says:

    There should only be one vote per person allowed.
    51% of this country already knows Bush is the biggest douche of the decade, possibly the century. And everybody who is hating on Obama can give Bush a big thanks for getting him overwhelmingly elected, in a legal election.

  271. Edwordrules says:

    No, but i’m sure you have.

  272. Anonymous says:

    How on Earth is Al Sharpton a 14 seed? He has to be the overall #1.

    As for Madoff, he is a criminal. All the morons that bought into his BS are the douchebags.

  273. JMey says:

    Still, that doesn’t make him a bad or immoral man.

  274. Anonymous says:

    Are tax dollars? Are? Should have used are tax dollars on education.

  275. Anonymous says:

    Right on, you forgot Barney Frank, Hugo Chavez, James Carville, and admitte Nazi collaborator George Soros.

  276. Anonymous says:

    True?? Well then why didn’t this powerful vote stealing republican machine steal this one too? (rhetorical question)

    If it wasn’t for how infested with christians the republican party is, I doubt it would be so “hip” for the new wave of young dumb voters to be democrat. But then, who cares. There will always be dumb people voting be they young, christian, senile, hayseed whatever.

  277. Anonymous says:

    Just shows you how big a douche Moore is.

  278. SkiBum51 says:

    Final Four: T.O. (over my personal favorite, Pacman), Chris Brown, Bill O’Reilly (big upset), and AIG.

  279. Anonymous says:

    Damn Bush for doing something about 9/11 right?
    Damn Bush for actually being bipartisan and listening to Nancy Pelosi, Al Gore, and Bill Clinton when they all said something had to be done in Iraq.

    You are certainly a fucking idiot if you believe that Bush is singlehandedly responsible for this mess.He wasn’t a great president but you cannot honestly believe he is the worst ever. If you say he is, then prove it

  280. Anonymous says:

    Francis totally should have gone on. Do people not recognize a magnificent douche when they see one? he is a fine douche!

  281. TG says:

    i has gay

  282. Louie says:

    Any Douchebag Tournament that no longer includes Keith Olbermann & Michael Moore, and never included Bill Maher, Chris Matthews, Nancy Pelosi, Barack Obama, or Al Franken was never going to be complete.

  283. Anonymous says:

    I can’t believe how upset some of you douche bags are getting…It’s a made up bracket that really means nothing in the end…go shove a pencil in your neck.

  284. Pwned says:

    I’m assuming you mean Bush…

  285. Anonymous says:

    A good moral man? The guy’s show is staight comedy. He is such a f-ing sensationalist…I don’t even know what to say. The guy is just making a living and I can’t hate on him for that, but I don’t put birdfart’s value on what he has to say politically. Sheesh.

  286. Crackbob says:

    A-Hole has the sports division wrapped up.


  287. Anonymous says:

    You’ve got to love irony.

  288. Louie says:

    Let’s not forget that this “illegal” war has liberated almost 50 million people in Afghanistan and Iraq. Let’s not forget that the Democrats in Congress looked at the same intelligence as President Bush, and voted for the war. Let’s not forget that every intelligence agency in the world said that Saddam had weapons of mass destruction. Let’s not forget that he had used these weapons on the Kurds. Let’s not forget that the national debt when Bush left office was 500 billion dollars, and after 2 months in office, Obama has upped it to 3 trillion dollars. Lastly, you douchebag, let’s not forget that President Bush amazingly kept us safe for 7 years after September 11th……you big fucking ungrateful douche. You should get down on your knees every night and thank George Bush for keeping you and your family safe. And while you’re down there, you should at least offer to lick his nutsack.

  289. Anonymous says:

    Kanye West is an absolute muppet.

  290. Anonymous says:

    that is the the truest statement on here. good one mate, he is complete rubish- cwr

  291. Anonymous says:

    Dude what the fuck how is Glenn Beck rated so low. His fake crying is priceless. None of these mother fuckers is even close to how insanely douchey this guy is with his 9 and 12 dumbass ideas. They include “America is a good place, not perfect but good”. That is supposed to be profound or some shit come on guys he is freaking priceless.

  292. Anonymous says:

    Yes, Glenn Beck is easily the biggest douche on the list.

  293. Anonymous says:

    retarted tough guy act? You must be a little pussy.

  294. Anonymous says:

    Where is Obama, Pelosi, Maher, or Dodd?

  295. Anonymous says:

    Pelosi is the only douche on that list.
    Where are Steele, Boehner, Harris, Bachman?

  296. comedyicon.com says:

    sorry i haven’t kept up…in regards to first seed ‘entertainment division’:how the hell did Perez move up past Speidi? fill me in. Spencer Pratt’s is the “Lord of Douchebaggery”,and hold’s throne to ‘I’ve done nothing and make bank for it’.I flick myself in the eye every time I see him to remind myself how stupid I was for taking acting classes.Dumb,dumb,dumb skin colored beard. Dumb.

  297. Anonymous says:

    Dumb skin colored beard, dumb. That is how I am going to refer to all douches from now on.

  298. WTF says:


  299. Anonymous says:

    you havent watched or heard the news?

  300. Anonymous says:

    yea! who really heard of here before this contest?

  301. Anonymous says:

    Explanation of why Shamwow guy and Fallon are up there is needed

  302. Anonymous says:

    Lol Fallon is a huge no talent douche that only other little douchebags would find at all funny.

  303. Your tiny penis talking says:

    ^ i want you dead

  304. The Most Dangerous Game of Grab Ass says:

    Wow. I never realized just how many people I want dead. Heidi and Spencer FTW.

  305. brian says:

    Business sections is going to go down to AIG vs. Bernie Madoff, where Bernie will take the cake. Entertainment will come down to Perez Hilton and Tom Cruise, where it will come down to a coin toss. Politics will go to Michael Moore no questions asked.

  306. Dom says:

    Agreed with both statements.

    The only reason any guy knows her name is because of Knocked Up. A movie she slammed for being sexist. Once again. Take the check and run. You dirty wench.

  307. Anonymous says:

    Hugh Hefner should be in the business one.

    And why is everyone voting for Seacrest? He is at least nice to people. Heigl is known to be the biggest bitch in Hwood right now. EVERYONE that works with her can’t stand her.

  308. Anonymous says:

    She has boobs….just sayin.

  309. Anonymous says:

    Couldn’t agree more. She’s way more of a douche, than seacrest. He’s more corny than douche. You think he picks what the producers of his shows want the topics to be. Atleast he does his jobs and doesn’t badmouth the people who help him.

    I figured she’s losing cuz she has boobs, but come on men. Have some dignity stop letting boobs make your decisions for you.

  310. JWalsh says:

    I’m from England and I still know for a fact Paris Hilton is your worse export to England ever! God knows what a douch is but she definately is an annoying whore! She is over here doing some shit reality show where she searches for a best mate. What the **** is that all about? My toes are curling with embarassment thinking about it!

  311. Toolbag says:

    The term “douchebag” should have been defined at the beginning of this tournament. A lot of people who are uberdouches were eliminated and beaten by scumbags. Douchebags are people who think they are cool, and believe that their moronic opinions actually matter. Chris Brown is a scumbag for beating women, Kanye West is a douchebag for blogging his moronic thoughts and thinking people actually care about what he thinks. Dane Cook is the epitome of a douchebag. He is douche personified, and yet he lost to Octo-mom. Octo-mom is a moron, not a douchebag. The rankings are also piss poor. Heidi and Spencer should have gone a lot farther. It just goes to show you that people do not do any research before voting. Voting is our civic duty and it should be taken seriously.

  312. Penis says:

    Chris Brown was an enormous douchebag even before beating women.

    Have you ever heard that guy’s music?

    Fuck man, pull yourself together

  313. Ryan says:

    No Shawn Hannity or am I just blind? Search your souls, everyone. You all know Hannity leaves all those others in the dust on douchiness. Fake outrage? Check. Typcial GOP chickenhawk? Check again. A-hole that cuts people off the moment they start to make sense? Check. That unholy smirk that says “I’m better than you, but I’ll sit here condenscendingly responding to what you have to say”? Check, check, check. Hannity for the win.

  314. sweetfly says:

    Mark Levin is a bigger douche than even hannity and limbaugh . Levin wins on the timbre of his voice alone . He sounds like Mickey Mouse after way too much tequila .

  315. Anonymous says:

    anyone else notice how easily conservadouches get their feelings hurt these days?
    Wow, I new you were all closet cases but don’t lose your retarded tough guy act just yet!

  316. Anonymous says:

    I didnt know we were voting on biggest conservative douche… I thought this tournament would include all the douches….

  317. Anonymous says:

    They aren’t ALL conservative. Michael Moore is on the list. haha

  318. Johhny Rockets says:

    Good god ur orange

  319. Anonymous says:

    God damn, you should be in the tournament.

  320. Jack says:

    You probably don’t have to put up with him in America, but if you only KNEW how much of a douchebag Johnny Borrell is, you’d make him win automatically.

    Seriously, look him up. You think you have it bad because of P Diddy and Kanye West? Imagine if the entertainment industry in America was completely taken over by Pitchfork reading hipsters. That’s what we have to put up with in the UK.

  321. Anonymous says:

    The entire lineup at MSNBC.

  322. Obama=King Douche says:

    Obama is a douche, What kind of idiot thinks that all people who don’t like Obama are some sort of evangelical christian? Retard.

  323. Anonymous says:

    Before or after he’s done banging your mom’s brains out on your bed?

  324. Bob says:

    amen brother.

  325. Anonymous says:

    You give us at least ONE rational reason as to why you dislike Barack Obama and then maybe we won’t think you’re just some ignorant fucktard. You can’t call out for understanding and objectivity to your own cause without proving yourself to be more than just an eleven year old racist waiting for his balls to drop.

  326. barry hussein says:

    fuck this. just because people dislike the new president doesn’t mean they’re ignorant church loving bufoons! and just because the man is a black, articulate democrat, doesn’t mean he should be protected from ridicule! CUNTS!

  327. Anonymous says:

    maybe I don’t feel like giving my hard earned money to worthless welfare cases who think they deserve shit they can’t pay for. If you can’t pay for a house, then fuck you, rent… If you can’t pay for heathcare coverage, not my problem. But I guess Chairman Obama will come to the rescue of all dumbasses by stealing from the rich and giving to the retarded.

  328. MilleniumBag says:

    So true. There are a lot of people in this tournament who are not douchebags at all, and they are beating the true douchebags. You want to see what a real douchebag is? Check out hotchickswithdouchebags.com, featuring yours truly; the Millenium Bag. Then once you know what a douchebag is come back and vote.

  329. Mr Balls says:

    I have to agree with toolbag, a complete and thorough definition of the term douchebag needed to be made. For example, while Bernie Madoff is no doubt an asshole, is he a douchebag? I mean look at Perez Hilton, a fag? admittedly so, but a douchebag? Im not so sure.

  330. Anonymous says:

    HAHAHA Replace Ted Stevens with Barack Obongo and you have the three most racist black people in America fighting for a spot in the top 8!

    Ill go get my popcorn!

  331. dusty says:

    why is the shamwow guy on there? what has he ever done to anyone but entertain with his roboticaly sharp eyebrows. Also Dane Cook should be at least a 4 seed if not higher, he is currently my cinderella pick he just has to get past a very very tough second round match with heidi and spencer(another person too low on the bracket)

  332. Anonymous says:

    I can’t believe Barry Obama isn’t on there…that d-bag is trying socialize our country.

  333. sweetfly says:

    Obama has been way more right than anyone could have expected . Guantanimo is still open . We still have troops in Iraq . He ESCALATED in Afghanistan . He signed a bill that allows guns in national parks . He has not done anything for gay rights / marriage . He has been decidedly centrist if not slightly right leaning .

    I understand that righties think health care reform is the second coming of Stalin but they are wrong . It is simply good business sense and good policy to take the teeth out of insurance and pharmaceutical companies . These companies have been ass raping the American people for decades . Inflation in the past ten years has gone up approximately 50% . A college education costs 45% more than ten years ago , general cost of living has gone up 45% … prescription drugs and insurance premiums ? … well , they have gone up 144% . Obviously way out of wack with the increases in other industries . Something needs to be done and Obama is at least trying .

  334. Mr. Pointing Out The Obvious says:

    I always laugh at how the loony far left of the US categorizes Barry as some kind of neocon lite in a Democretin’s clothes. I guess something closer to the civil liberties abuse of Hugo Chavez, the goosestepping of Kim Jung Il, and the ethnic cleansing of Slobodan Milosevic would be more to their liking. Oh, I almost forgot how “Blame Israel and the Jews for everything” has become the rally cry for the unbathed, ignorant neo-left.

    A lefty or neo-lefty is someone who doesn’t give 10 seconds of analytical thought to an idea that is not 100% in line his/her own knee-jerk ideas (insolent, pompous asses to the end), and that’s why they’re dumb and will stay that way.

  335. Divals says:

    Socialize our country? Pff, I wish. He’s just a bit left of Bush, which, while it’s definitely not a bad thing, isn’t nearly left enough.

  336. Johhny Rockets says:

    How are Spencer and Heidi not lapping the field right now? Mr Balls, and Toolbag, dead on right

  337. Anonymous says:

    Banging your mom on your own bed, jackass

  338. dick chaney sucks cock says:

    this is clever.. but bush should atleast make it to the final 4, and where is dick in his ass chaney?

  339. Donatom3 says:

    You make a good point maybe these two need to each have their own slot, together they are too powerful for everyone else.

  340. Anonymous says:

    spencer has enough douche running through his veins to run away with this no problem, but when you add his captain douche girlfriend heidi there’s really no question. . . . .spencer and heidi by far are the biggest balls of douche on any of these lists

  341. Hoosier Daddy says:

    @Blake – instant comment of the week winner

  342. Mr. Pointing Out The Obvious says:

    Fat girl sex eyes never look like sex eyes to me. Too much fat in the way. They look more like “If you have a twinkie, I want it NOW!” eyes.

  343. Blake says:

    tell that to my dick when a fat girl gives me the sex eyes after I’ve had 12 beers.

  344. Anonymous says:

    You cannot consider octo-mom a douchebag, she’s just an attention whore. I’m pissed she made it this far.

  345. Anonymous says:

    People on this site are actually calling obama a douche? Really? what part of this website would make you think it is conservative/republican friendly?? you guys are on the wrong site. you guys should be in church or something.

  346. Bob says:

    Feeling that obama is a douche does not imply that a person is conservative just that they have common sense and can think for themselves unlike you apparently. Not everybody is strictly one party and frankly your comment about church is simply ignorant.

  347. Anonymous says:

    Welcome to the internet asshole

  348. Wiskey_Pete says:

    How could you leave Russel Crowe off the bracket? He’s my number one for sure.

  349. gerryair says:

    just in case,,get it right…a douche bag is a mix of asshole and cocksucker with a side order of fag with a sperm swap dip…..can anybody add to this?,i may need input from my fellow mankind…please help..please,I cant find my ducky

  350. this bracket is bullshit says:


  351. Manbearpig says:

    The ass kissing, self righteous dick licker Stephen A. Smith should win going away.

  352. Anonymous says:

    Final Four:
    Stephen A Smith-Racist Douche
    Sean Penn-Ignorant Douche
    Michael Moore (close with Olberman)-Lying, Propaganda using, Douche
    Tim Geithner-Don’t blame AIG, blame this douche, Dodd, Obama, and the Stimulus Bill douches.

  353. Anonymous says:

    Liberal fucktards.

  354. pube farmer says:

    seacrest is a huge douche and a kiss ass and i also thing hes also a queerbag

  355. Anony mous says:

    Santelli should be ass fucked with a cactus.

  356. Anonymous says:

    Fuck you! lay off Santelli the guy just works hard and wants everyone to pull their own weight

  357. Anonymous says:

    Seriously, no Plaxico? After the idiot shot himself? He should be a 2 or 3 seed.

  358. Anonymous says:

    Runnin’ a train on your mom

  359. bob says:

    octo mom is a douchebag because she expects to be able to raise 14 (0r 12?) kids by herself without a job.

  360. Hoosier Daddy says:

    I can’t believe Belichick is such a low seed! But even if he were to get past A-Rod, Duke would be waiting in the second round, and that’s a whole team of douchiness. Bad, bad break for Bill…his douchebag disses of Eric Mangina should have at least earned him a couple spots higher in seeding.

  361. M Easy says:

    Did something like this in High school called “Tourney of Fags” each bracket was represented by a different grade…..

    Pissed off quite a few people.

  362. jkc says:

    no Fred Durst? i guess he’s been out of the loop for awhile now.

  363. aaron says:

    You can’t win them all

  364. Fratrick Bateman says:

    I feel like Billy Zane should really have been put on this list. Just sayin

  365. Dom says:

    The Political division must have been a bitch to rank properly. They are all of equal doucheness.

  366. gstar says:

    round 1: octo-mom vs. dane cook? Roger clemens vs. Stephon Marbury??

    this is injustice… those are pretty much the top 4 in douchebags for those two divisions.

  367. Anonymous says:

    I can’t believe seacrest is in the play-in-game for a 16 seed. While there is a whole lot of douche in the entertainment division, that guy takes the cake. Or dick in the butt, which ever works for you.

  368. ASSNIFER says:

    You sound hot Jennie.
    Are you wearing any panties right now?

  369. Jennie says:

    This is gonna be awesome. Can’t wait to see the results.

  370. Milo1974 says:

    I’m really pulling for Al Sharpton in the short term. I say, Al Sharpton will make dramatic upsets in the next two games after disposing of Joe the Plumber. This will put Al Sharpton in the Elite Eight, with a strong challenge vs. Rush Limbaugh. Also, enjoy the monumental match-up between A-Roid and T.O. Know what to do in case of Official Douchebag Emergency alerts during this contest!

  371. MOTOWN says:

    No Brit Spears? Or Spencer Pratt from “The Hills” Spencer definetly wins. He and Heidi definetly make it to the elite eight.

    Duke University takes the sports Region for sure. How about the strippers that sued the Duke Lacrosse team? They gotta be on there.


  372. Anonymous says:

    wtf is octomom in the top two for? this is bullshit

  373. Anonymous says:

    There needs to be a Blog Division. And anyone who posts a dumbass comment is in the bracket. And before you say so, yes I should be in the bracket.