Welcome to HolyTaco's 2009 Douchebag Tournament! It's the only tournament in the world that pits 64 douchebags in a winner-take-all tourney, voted on by you, to determine who is crowned the Biggest Douchebag of 2009.
We took 16 douchebags from the fields of Entertainment, Sports, Business, and Politics, ranked them accordingly and matched them up in a manner similar to a crazy tournament between February and April that we can't name due to legal issues. So, the #1 ranked douchebag in each division plays the #16 ranked douchebag, the #2 ranked douchebag plays the #15 ranked douchebag and so on.
Each day we'll show the results and update the brackets to let you know who's advancing towards becoming the 2009 Douchebag Of The Year. Here's an up-to-date breakdown of all four brackets:
By the way, next year you guys really need to do some video with analysts breaking down the matchups and shouting at each other. You need like five guys. Three professorial guys and two retired douchebags. All saying stuff like "Octo Mom has really come on strong out of nowhere in the past two months, but Heidi and Spencer have built such a strong and consistent program of douchiness over the past three years that you should never ever count them out."
I am really looking forward to this year's douchebag tournament. Business: #2 seed AIG over #1 Bernie Madoff in overtime, as AIG rips off more taxpayer money and can't be thrown in prison. I'm looking for a major upset in the 2nd round of the politics division, as Al Sharpton will upset George W. Bush, but will falter in the Elite Eight by Rush Limbaugh. A classic Sweet 16 matchup between Chris Brown and Kanye West will go to 6 overtimes, but 2003 champion P. Diddy will break up the game and declared Entertainment champion douche by default. However, it's hard to imagine anyone who has been training harder and anyone who deserves the National Douchebag championship more than Alex Rodriguez. The only minor trouble for A-Roid this year will be Terrell Owens, who could dominate any of the other divisions if Owens were placed in them.
How about "any Best Buy employee when you try to return your computer because it's broken"?
They bring out some little Asian dude living in one of the cabinets, he looks at it for a second and then says "I can no return this. See? It tampered."
Then the ditz cashier chicks who know nothing about computers nod their head in agreement.
People on this site are actually calling obama a douche? Really? what part of this website would make you think it is conservative/republican friendly?? you guys are on the wrong site. you guys should be in church or something.
Feeling that obama is a douche does not imply that a person is conservative just that they have common sense and can think for themselves unlike you apparently. Not everybody is strictly one party and frankly your comment about church is simply ignorant.
fuck this. just because people dislike the new president doesn't mean they're ignorant church loving bufoons! and just because the man is a black, articulate democrat, doesn't mean he should be protected from ridicule! CUNTS!
You give us at least ONE rational reason as to why you dislike Barack Obama and then maybe we won't think you're just some ignorant fucktard. You can't call out for understanding and objectivity to your own cause without proving yourself to be more than just an eleven year old racist waiting for his balls to drop.
maybe I don't feel like giving my hard earned money to worthless welfare cases who think they deserve shit they can't pay for. If you can't pay for a house, then fuck you, rent... If you can't pay for heathcare coverage, not my problem. But I guess Chairman Obama will come to the rescue of all dumbasses by stealing from the rich and giving to the retarded.
Der Fuhrer is exempt from this competition.
He'd win hands down so it only makes sense
he is conveniently absent. Leaves more room
to make fun of Republicans it seems.
What's the matter, is your white pointy hat and gown still at the cleaners? you redneck piece of shit. Go fuck your baby sister while your mother fucks you in the ass.
He's not on there cause the Taco knows that your bitter redneck selves would just vote for him because. Not even taking into consideration all of the douchery out there, such as yourself. Grand Master Douche! Or should I say Dungeon Master Douche.
Hey dumbshit losers who supported the dumbshit president Bush and his Republicunt enablers--Obama is just trying to clean up the giant mess that you douchebag losers created.
The only one responsible for so many unnecessary deaths and shitting on the constitution simultaneously, George W. Bush is King of all Douchebags. W 4 EVA!
(371 Comments)
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
March 18th, 2009 at 03:08 pm
By the way, next year you guys really need to do some video with analysts breaking down the matchups and shouting at each other. You need like five guys. Three professorial guys and two retired douchebags. All saying stuff like "Octo Mom has really come on strong out of nowhere in the past two months, but Heidi and Spencer have built such a strong and consistent program of douchiness over the past three years that you should never ever count them out."
March 18th, 2009 at 03:11 pm
LOL the Shamwow guy is here, aw! What about that annoying OxyClean guy?
I also have to admit that I need to do some research on the Politics and Business nominees so that I can vote wisely.
Great tourney!
March 18th, 2009 at 03:16 pm
I am really looking forward to this year's douchebag tournament. Business: #2 seed AIG over #1 Bernie Madoff in overtime, as AIG rips off more taxpayer money and can't be thrown in prison. I'm looking for a major upset in the 2nd round of the politics division, as Al Sharpton will upset George W. Bush, but will falter in the Elite Eight by Rush Limbaugh. A classic Sweet 16 matchup between Chris Brown and Kanye West will go to 6 overtimes, but 2003 champion P. Diddy will break up the game and declared Entertainment champion douche by default. However, it's hard to imagine anyone who has been training harder and anyone who deserves the National Douchebag championship more than Alex Rodriguez. The only minor trouble for A-Roid this year will be Terrell Owens, who could dominate any of the other divisions if Owens were placed in them.
March 19th, 2009 at 01:18 am
Should it be AIG in the tourney, or Dodd and the Dems who LET THEM RIP US OFF?
March 18th, 2009 at 03:20 pm
Am I really a douche? Wow.
March 18th, 2009 at 03:24 pm
ya, what the fuck. i actually enjoy jimmys new show. it puts craig ferguson to shame.
March 18th, 2009 at 04:00 pm
nope, you're a douche. but good luck you got some tough competition
March 18th, 2009 at 03:26 pm
i dont get why kobe is in this...
March 18th, 2009 at 03:34 pm
Final Four:
Kanye West
Barry Bonds
Bill O'Reilly
Donald Trump
March 18th, 2009 at 04:01 pm
If you pick this right, you're getting like nine t-shirts.
March 18th, 2009 at 08:22 pm
Stick those nine t-shirts up your liberal poop chute you potato eater.
March 18th, 2009 at 05:53 pm
You don't even have Madoff in your final. Who could POSSIBLY be doucheier than him?????????????
March 18th, 2009 at 03:35 pm
Pretty sure Ann Coulter has this in the bag~
March 18th, 2009 at 03:38 pm
No Obama in politics douchebag bracket?
March 18th, 2009 at 04:09 pm
my thoughts exactly. That's douchebag 09 hands down.
March 18th, 2009 at 03:50 pm
How is michael vick not in the Sports bracket?????
March 18th, 2009 at 03:52 pm
How about "any Best Buy employee when you try to return your computer because it's broken"?
They bring out some little Asian dude living in one of the cabinets, he looks at it for a second and then says "I can no return this. See? It tampered."
Then the ditz cashier chicks who know nothing about computers nod their head in agreement.
March 18th, 2009 at 08:20 pm
You have to start a commotion and yell "WHAT?...I'M NOT LEAVING HERE TIL YOU APOLOGIZE FOR CALLING ME A SPARKLING WIGGLE!!"
March 18th, 2009 at 04:16 pm
Did something like this in High school called "Tourney of Fags" each bracket was represented by a different grade.....
Pissed off quite a few people.
March 18th, 2009 at 04:30 pm
No Brit Spears? Or Spencer Pratt from "The Hills" Spencer definetly wins. He and Heidi definetly make it to the elite eight.
Duke University takes the sports Region for sure. How about the strippers that sued the Duke Lacrosse team? They gotta be on there.
MOTOWN
March 18th, 2009 at 04:36 pm
Seriously, no Plaxico? After the idiot shot himself? He should be a 2 or 3 seed.
March 18th, 2009 at 04:48 pm
This is gonna be awesome. Can't wait to see the results.
March 18th, 2009 at 08:16 pm
You sound hot Jennie.
Are you wearing any panties right now?
March 18th, 2009 at 05:06 pm
There needs to be a Blog Division. And anyone who posts a dumbass comment is in the bracket. And before you say so, yes I should be in the bracket.
March 18th, 2009 at 05:14 pm
People on this site are actually calling obama a douche? Really? what part of this website would make you think it is conservative/republican friendly?? you guys are on the wrong site. you guys should be in church or something.
March 18th, 2009 at 05:33 pm
Feeling that obama is a douche does not imply that a person is conservative just that they have common sense and can think for themselves unlike you apparently. Not everybody is strictly one party and frankly your comment about church is simply ignorant.
March 18th, 2009 at 07:09 pm
Obama is a douche, What kind of idiot thinks that all people who don't like Obama are some sort of evangelical christian? Retard.
March 18th, 2009 at 08:26 pm
The entire lineup at MSNBC.
March 19th, 2009 at 03:31 am
Welcome to the internet asshole
March 18th, 2009 at 05:34 pm
fuck this. just because people dislike the new president doesn't mean they're ignorant church loving bufoons! and just because the man is a black, articulate democrat, doesn't mean he should be protected from ridicule! CUNTS!
March 18th, 2009 at 06:11 pm
amen brother.
March 22nd, 2009 at 09:45 pm
You give us at least ONE rational reason as to why you dislike Barack Obama and then maybe we won't think you're just some ignorant fucktard. You can't call out for understanding and objectivity to your own cause without proving yourself to be more than just an eleven year old racist waiting for his balls to drop.
March 23rd, 2009 at 02:34 pm
maybe I don't feel like giving my hard earned money to worthless welfare cases who think they deserve shit they can't pay for. If you can't pay for a house, then fuck you, rent... If you can't pay for heathcare coverage, not my problem. But I guess Chairman Obama will come to the rescue of all dumbasses by stealing from the rich and giving to the retarded.
March 18th, 2009 at 05:38 pm
I feel like Billy Zane should really have been put on this list. Just sayin
March 18th, 2009 at 05:40 pm
round 1: octo-mom vs. dane cook? Roger clemens vs. Stephon Marbury??
this is injustice... those are pretty much the top 4 in douchebags for those two divisions.
March 18th, 2009 at 05:49 pm
Explanation of why Shamwow guy and Fallon are up there is needed
March 18th, 2009 at 10:41 pm
Lol Fallon is a huge no talent douche that only other little douchebags would find at all funny.
March 18th, 2009 at 05:59 pm
octo-mom FTW all day
just google her, and get ready to be lovin' the doucheness
March 18th, 2009 at 06:05 pm
No room for Dr.Phil?
March 18th, 2009 at 06:46 pm
Where's Fuhrer Obama? Or is he last year's reigning champion?
I bet that commie mother fucker wears his "Douche" sash and tiarra and crys like the pussy he is. When he's not molesting children that is.
March 18th, 2009 at 08:13 pm
Der Fuhrer is exempt from this competition.
He'd win hands down so it only makes sense
he is conveniently absent. Leaves more room
to make fun of Republicans it seems.
March 19th, 2009 at 05:36 am
What's the matter, is your white pointy hat and gown still at the cleaners? you redneck piece of shit. Go fuck your baby sister while your mother fucks you in the ass.
March 19th, 2009 at 05:51 am
He's not on there cause the Taco knows that your bitter redneck selves would just vote for him because. Not even taking into consideration all of the douchery out there, such as yourself. Grand Master Douche! Or should I say Dungeon Master Douche.
March 18th, 2009 at 06:58 pm
Hey dumbshit losers who supported the dumbshit president Bush and his Republicunt enablers--Obama is just trying to clean up the giant mess that you douchebag losers created.
March 18th, 2009 at 08:10 pm
You don't even vote you 17 year old meat banger. Go back to playing Halo. Waste of my egg you were, damn you.
March 18th, 2009 at 08:25 pm
WTF Mom!! Geez can't I play internets with out you butting in.
I'm so going to leak your and Dad's sex tape....woot.
March 20th, 2009 at 01:22 pm
OBAMA is as retarded as a kid in the Special Olympics, he even says so!!!!!!!!
March 18th, 2009 at 07:08 pm
The only one responsible for so many unnecessary deaths and shitting on the constitution simultaneously, George W. Bush is King of all Douchebags. W 4 EVA!
March 18th, 2009 at 07:12 pm
If only Sarah Palin was in charge now, at least we wouldn't have a president who was distracted by reading and shit.
March 18th, 2009 at 09:22 pm
No he's busy with private Stevie Wonder and MoTown concerts
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