Welcome to HolyTaco's 2009 Douchebag Tournament! It's the only tournament in the world that pits 64 douchebags in a winner-take-all tourney, voted on by you, to determine who is crowned the Biggest Douchebag of 2009.
We took 16 douchebags from the fields of Entertainment, Sports, Business, and Politics, ranked them accordingly and matched them up in a manner similar to a crazy tournament between February and April that we can't name due to legal issues. So, the #1 ranked douchebag in each division plays the #16 ranked douchebag, the #2 ranked douchebag plays the #15 ranked douchebag and so on.
Each day we'll show the results and update the brackets to let you know who's advancing towards becoming the 2009 Douchebag Of The Year. Here's an up-to-date breakdown of all four brackets:
The term "douchebag" should have been defined at the beginning of this tournament. A lot of people who are uberdouches were eliminated and beaten by scumbags. Douchebags are people who think they are cool, and believe that their moronic opinions actually matter. Chris Brown is a scumbag for beating women, Kanye West is a douchebag for blogging his moronic thoughts and thinking people actually care about what he thinks. Dane Cook is the epitome of a douchebag. He is douche personified, and yet he lost to Octo-mom. Octo-mom is a moron, not a douchebag. The rankings are also piss poor. Heidi and Spencer should have gone a lot farther. It just goes to show you that people do not do any research before voting. Voting is our civic duty and it should be taken seriously.
I have to agree with toolbag, a complete and thorough definition of the term douchebag needed to be made. For example, while Bernie Madoff is no doubt an asshole, is he a douchebag? I mean look at Perez Hilton, a fag? admittedly so, but a douchebag? Im not so sure.
So true. There are a lot of people in this tournament who are not douchebags at all, and they are beating the true douchebags. You want to see what a real douchebag is? Check out hotchickswithdouchebags.com, featuring yours truly; the Millenium Bag. Then once you know what a douchebag is come back and vote.
sorry i haven't kept up...in regards to first seed 'entertainment division':how the hell did Perez move up past Speidi? fill me in. Spencer Pratt's is the "Lord of Douchebaggery",and hold's throne to 'I've done nothing and make bank for it'.I flick myself in the eye every time I see him to remind myself how stupid I was for taking acting classes.Dumb,dumb,dumb skin colored beard. Dumb.
You probably don't have to put up with him in America, but if you only KNEW how much of a douchebag Johnny Borrell is, you'd make him win automatically.
Seriously, look him up. You think you have it bad because of P Diddy and Kanye West? Imagine if the entertainment industry in America was completely taken over by Pitchfork reading hipsters. That's what we have to put up with in the UK.
Rush is not a douchebag if you want a douchebag look a obama who is driveing us into unbelivable debt that our grandkids won't be able to pay off then instead of answering questions he goes on a night talk show he's a douchebag.
LMAO! are you fucking serious? you should educate yourself before you attempt to sound intelligent about something. That debt has been there for years,and i will be lucky if there is social security for me when i attempt to retire, but maybe you ignorantly believe it is all Obama's fault, cause we all know there was no deficiency and definitely not ignorant CEO's losing peoples money and making stupid choices until January 09.
Maybe people should quit thinking that 1 side of politics is right? who knows, who cares really. its all a joke, especially this ignorant fuck i am replying to.
Yeah there was a massive amount of debt left over created by none other than George W. Bush. However Obama is ready to spend more then bush in a couple of 'stimulus' bills. Within 100 days. He is going to out do the spending of GW's 8 years. According to a CNN story he has spent 36 Billion dollars a day since he has been in office. That's more than the war + hurrican katrina efforts in only 70 or so days!!!! If you think you can spend your way out of a problem like this god help us. Think of America like a family. If your family is spending more than they make already, what would you do to fix such a problem? Cut back on spending? or borrrow a bunch of money and spend that all too? I don't know but it seems like common sense to me. Plus the so called stimulus hasn't even been spent and the markets are already leveling out and turning around...but no Obama said we have to act fast to save America? It's absurd. You know it, we know it and you know that we know it!
Facts: the stock market has dropped 25% since inauguration day and the national debt has doubled since inauguration day. Do the math d1psh1t. Quit drinking the punch. Also, the last administration was throttled by a democratically controlled congress for almost 3 years, so quit whining about parties. They are all to blame.
Making fun of the Special Olympics, making excuses as to why he keeps nominating tax cheats, making excuses as to why bankrupting our country is a "good" thing, trying to phrase fascism into a happy thing using "emergencies" and to quote his own Chief of Staff Rahm Emmanuel "never let a crisis go to waste", you know, the usual FDR/ Woodrow Wilson Progressive things.
The Businesses douche bag hands down is AIG, how do you run a government owned (80%) company into the ground and get away with paying the CEO's for it??? For Politics is really should be the democratic part not obama cause he is only one guy the rest of the democrats in office are the a holes who all voted to approve the sure fired f in the a to america and all of its decedents. But to the real vote definitely AL SHARPTON he has ran his mouth for years and its finally time we give him the award he deserves! Sports as much as i dislike both barry bonds has been as annoying recently so i have to go with TERRELL OWENS for all of his bs'ing that he is the best and is better than everybody else, news flash suck it no one wants you and all the baggage you come with. And in entertainment i agree with the bloggers octo mom seriously??? Come on we can do much better than that but for this CHRIS BROWN he ruined his career in one fowl swoop of his fist seriously he bit a girl what a p***y your going to win it my friend oh nice touch with the whole i'm gonna kill you way to be a real gentlemen take some tips from Ne-Yo and his CD!!!
Sorry to be mean to those below the Mason-Dixon Line but blaming Obama for what's wrong with the US is so incredibly retarded and pathetic it's amazing the US doesn't have another civil war. The Republicans ran this country into the ground and you think having another Republican in the White House would signal happy days ? How deluded is that ? The biggest douchebags are people who believe that but without a doubt the most gigantic douchebag in the history of the world is Rush Limbaugh whose mouth spews forth the most insidious bile since Hitler. Way to go, Rush, you hate-monger.
based on your post what are you doing at askmen.com ? liberal wusses that scorn southern men should be at sensitiveponytailman.com or maybe girlyman.com
This site is not about the feminization of men that you democrats espouse. You need a pair for this site.
I couldn't have said it better myself, Jerry. These liberal metrosexual pussies give us real men a bad name. I'm pretty sure John Wayne would never have sipped a frappuccino while driving an electric car.
"I'm pretty sure John Wayne would never have sipped a frappuccino while driving an electric car."
yeah, instead he bitched out of fighting in WW2, then went on to over-compensate for his total cowardice by making a bunch of movies about fighting in it.
no shit his real name was marion.
because who needs real courage when you can pretend to have it on the silver screen? war is so much easier when the bullets are pretend.
You have never listened to Rush. If you have you would know he stands for the Individual, and the founding principles of America (the greatest, most giving and prosperous country in history). I dare you to listen for 6 weeks so you will get the WHOLE context, not what the media wants you to hear. You will have a different opinion.
I disagree. At least P. Diddy doesn't drain the taxpayers. She is a dumb bitch and is the biggest douche by far. That clown car vagina needs to move to another state so I don't have to pay for her idiocy.
What percentage of the editing staff does Anonymous represent with this description of POTUS? My thoughts are: This representation and publication supports the underlying and ever present existance of racial hatred!
Thank you for your continued support and bigotry askmen.com..........
Ben Moore,
New Jersey
conservative member:
Heritage Foundation
Evesham Township GOP
NRA
Veteran, U.S. Navy
Octo mom, all the way!!! She is a selfish, calculating, b*** who uses her babies to get what SHE wants. She stated that she needed help b/c of her babies?? Well, there are millions of other mothers around this world who need help b/c they have children! Her difference?? She CHOSE this path to poverty! It was deliberate. Was was the Run to you help for those other millions of women around the world?? For starters, she could have NOT gotten the work done to her face in order to make her more 'receptive' to those weak-minded individuals who would fall for her scam. I bet that this money saved from the surgery would have bought a LOT of baby food,diapers, AND paid some rent...hence her next problem--solved by others. What is she going to do when the charm from her 'I HAD TOO MANY BABIES ON PURPOSE' scam wears off?? I guess she'll just have another litter, get some more work done, and cry on tv for more help. There will always be fools in the waiting to help out, is her philosophy. OCTOMOM ALL THE WAY DOUCHEBAG OF THE YEAR 2009.
Wait, OK. Let's just evaluate the basis of your logic. You're defending Bush and crucifying Obama only "does what is popular" and Bush ignored the fact that going to war was unpopular but did it anyway. I'm sorry, I thought this was a Democracy? The president, and all politicians are elected as representatives of the people! So saying something "is popular" is trying to put a negative spin on "the will of the people". It's not popularity that counts, it's what the majority of us want! That's how Democracy works. A President that goes against the will of his people to do what he thinks is best (or in Bush's case, what God told him to do) ceases to become a democratically elected President and becomes a Dictator, imposing his will on the people he is supposed to serve.
I thought you liberals were supposed to be pro-human rights?? Didn't the people of Iraq and Afghanistan have any rights? President Bush and our military liberated over 53 million people in those two countries combined. You believe this is a bad thing?? What cosmic bunny hole have I fallen into?? Holy shit, you are truly a world class douche.
(371 Comments)
Twitter
Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
April 1st, 2009 at 04:29 pm
I'm assuming you mean Bush...
March 28th, 2009 at 06:10 am
oo so you like men butthole?
March 31st, 2009 at 08:56 am
It's too bad you weren't in the contest. I think everyone who hasn't had sex with a relative would vote for you.
March 28th, 2009 at 07:38 am
How could you leave Russel Crowe off the bracket? He's my number one for sure.
March 28th, 2009 at 09:18 am
The term "douchebag" should have been defined at the beginning of this tournament. A lot of people who are uberdouches were eliminated and beaten by scumbags. Douchebags are people who think they are cool, and believe that their moronic opinions actually matter. Chris Brown is a scumbag for beating women, Kanye West is a douchebag for blogging his moronic thoughts and thinking people actually care about what he thinks. Dane Cook is the epitome of a douchebag. He is douche personified, and yet he lost to Octo-mom. Octo-mom is a moron, not a douchebag. The rankings are also piss poor. Heidi and Spencer should have gone a lot farther. It just goes to show you that people do not do any research before voting. Voting is our civic duty and it should be taken seriously.
March 28th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
Chris Brown was an enormous douchebag even before beating women.
Have you ever heard that guy's music?
Fuck man, pull yourself together
March 28th, 2009 at 09:26 am
I have to agree with toolbag, a complete and thorough definition of the term douchebag needed to be made. For example, while Bernie Madoff is no doubt an asshole, is he a douchebag? I mean look at Perez Hilton, a fag? admittedly so, but a douchebag? Im not so sure.
March 28th, 2009 at 09:40 am
So true. There are a lot of people in this tournament who are not douchebags at all, and they are beating the true douchebags. You want to see what a real douchebag is? Check out hotchickswithdouchebags.com, featuring yours truly; the Millenium Bag. Then once you know what a douchebag is come back and vote.
March 28th, 2009 at 09:42 am
Good god ur orange
March 28th, 2009 at 01:26 pm
God damn, you should be in the tournament.
March 28th, 2009 at 09:35 am
How are Spencer and Heidi not lapping the field right now? Mr Balls, and Toolbag, dead on right
March 28th, 2009 at 11:25 am
sorry i haven't kept up...in regards to first seed 'entertainment division':how the hell did Perez move up past Speidi? fill me in. Spencer Pratt's is the "Lord of Douchebaggery",and hold's throne to 'I've done nothing and make bank for it'.I flick myself in the eye every time I see him to remind myself how stupid I was for taking acting classes.Dumb,dumb,dumb skin colored beard. Dumb.
March 28th, 2009 at 02:02 pm
Dumb skin colored beard, dumb. That is how I am going to refer to all douches from now on.
March 28th, 2009 at 06:34 pm
You probably don't have to put up with him in America, but if you only KNEW how much of a douchebag Johnny Borrell is, you'd make him win automatically.
Seriously, look him up. You think you have it bad because of P Diddy and Kanye West? Imagine if the entertainment industry in America was completely taken over by Pitchfork reading hipsters. That's what we have to put up with in the UK.
March 28th, 2009 at 07:01 pm
HOW THE FUCK IS OCTOMOM IN THE TOP 2??? AND SHES IN THE LEAD????? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS ABOUT I NEVER EVEN HEARD OF HER UNTIL THIS!!!
March 29th, 2009 at 08:12 pm
yea! who really heard of here before this contest?
March 30th, 2009 at 12:55 am
you havent watched or heard the news?
March 28th, 2009 at 08:05 pm
wtf is octomom in the top two for? this is bullshit
March 28th, 2009 at 11:06 pm
octo mom is a douchebag because she expects to be able to raise 14 (0r 12?) kids by herself without a job.
March 29th, 2009 at 09:12 am
You cannot consider octo-mom a douchebag, she's just an attention whore. I'm pissed she made it this far.
March 29th, 2009 at 03:04 pm
Rush is not a douchebag if you want a douchebag look a obama who is driveing us into unbelivable debt that our grandkids won't be able to pay off then instead of answering questions he goes on a night talk show he's a douchebag.
March 29th, 2009 at 03:24 pm
dont have grandkids then
March 29th, 2009 at 08:10 pm
LMAO! are you fucking serious? you should educate yourself before you attempt to sound intelligent about something. That debt has been there for years,and i will be lucky if there is social security for me when i attempt to retire, but maybe you ignorantly believe it is all Obama's fault, cause we all know there was no deficiency and definitely not ignorant CEO's losing peoples money and making stupid choices until January 09.
Maybe people should quit thinking that 1 side of politics is right? who knows, who cares really. its all a joke, especially this ignorant fuck i am replying to.
March 30th, 2009 at 07:38 am
Yeah there was a massive amount of debt left over created by none other than George W. Bush. However Obama is ready to spend more then bush in a couple of 'stimulus' bills. Within 100 days. He is going to out do the spending of GW's 8 years. According to a CNN story he has spent 36 Billion dollars a day since he has been in office. That's more than the war + hurrican katrina efforts in only 70 or so days!!!! If you think you can spend your way out of a problem like this god help us. Think of America like a family. If your family is spending more than they make already, what would you do to fix such a problem? Cut back on spending? or borrrow a bunch of money and spend that all too? I don't know but it seems like common sense to me. Plus the so called stimulus hasn't even been spent and the markets are already leveling out and turning around...but no Obama said we have to act fast to save America? It's absurd. You know it, we know it and you know that we know it!
March 30th, 2009 at 11:12 am
Facts: the stock market has dropped 25% since inauguration day and the national debt has doubled since inauguration day. Do the math d1psh1t. Quit drinking the punch. Also, the last administration was throttled by a democratically controlled congress for almost 3 years, so quit whining about parties. They are all to blame.
April 1st, 2009 at 04:27 pm
hahahaha! You are a serious douooooozschebayge!
March 30th, 2009 at 12:54 am
learn to spell idiot
March 30th, 2009 at 11:12 pm
"...instead of answering questions he goes on a night talk show..."
What exactly do you think he's doing on all these talk shows?
April 5th, 2009 at 01:48 am
Making fun of the Special Olympics, making excuses as to why he keeps nominating tax cheats, making excuses as to why bankrupting our country is a "good" thing, trying to phrase fascism into a happy thing using "emergencies" and to quote his own Chief of Staff Rahm Emmanuel "never let a crisis go to waste", you know, the usual FDR/ Woodrow Wilson Progressive things.
March 29th, 2009 at 10:02 pm
The Businesses douche bag hands down is AIG, how do you run a government owned (80%) company into the ground and get away with paying the CEO's for it??? For Politics is really should be the democratic part not obama cause he is only one guy the rest of the democrats in office are the a holes who all voted to approve the sure fired f in the a to america and all of its decedents. But to the real vote definitely AL SHARPTON he has ran his mouth for years and its finally time we give him the award he deserves! Sports as much as i dislike both barry bonds has been as annoying recently so i have to go with TERRELL OWENS for all of his bs'ing that he is the best and is better than everybody else, news flash suck it no one wants you and all the baggage you come with. And in entertainment i agree with the bloggers octo mom seriously??? Come on we can do much better than that but for this CHRIS BROWN he ruined his career in one fowl swoop of his fist seriously he bit a girl what a p***y your going to win it my friend oh nice touch with the whole i'm gonna kill you way to be a real gentlemen take some tips from Ne-Yo and his CD!!!
March 30th, 2009 at 07:32 pm
Where is our Commander in Clicks and Bleeps?
March 31st, 2009 at 07:14 am
Sorry to be mean to those below the Mason-Dixon Line but blaming Obama for what's wrong with the US is so incredibly retarded and pathetic it's amazing the US doesn't have another civil war. The Republicans ran this country into the ground and you think having another Republican in the White House would signal happy days ? How deluded is that ? The biggest douchebags are people who believe that but without a doubt the most gigantic douchebag in the history of the world is Rush Limbaugh whose mouth spews forth the most insidious bile since Hitler. Way to go, Rush, you hate-monger.
March 31st, 2009 at 12:12 pm
DavieBOY,
based on your post what are you doing at askmen.com ? liberal wusses that scorn southern men should be at sensitiveponytailman.com or maybe girlyman.com
This site is not about the feminization of men that you democrats espouse. You need a pair for this site.
March 31st, 2009 at 12:53 pm
I couldn't have said it better myself, Jerry. These liberal metrosexual pussies give us real men a bad name. I'm pretty sure John Wayne would never have sipped a frappuccino while driving an electric car.
March 31st, 2009 at 01:21 pm
Sadly, that's how he died.
April 3rd, 2009 at 12:58 pm
"I'm pretty sure John Wayne would never have sipped a frappuccino while driving an electric car."
yeah, instead he bitched out of fighting in WW2, then went on to over-compensate for his total cowardice by making a bunch of movies about fighting in it.
no shit his real name was marion.
because who needs real courage when you can pretend to have it on the silver screen? war is so much easier when the bullets are pretend.
them's real balls there, sweet heart.
March 31st, 2009 at 02:34 pm
Real men all look and think exactly alike. No differing opinions are ever allowed if you have a set of balls.
thank you all for your idiotic statements
April 3rd, 2009 at 12:43 pm
BURN!
March 31st, 2009 at 12:50 pm
You have never listened to Rush. If you have you would know he stands for the Individual, and the founding principles of America (the greatest, most giving and prosperous country in history). I dare you to listen for 6 weeks so you will get the WHOLE context, not what the media wants you to hear. You will have a different opinion.
March 31st, 2009 at 05:57 pm
with all the douchebags in the entertainment bracket, I'm pretty upset that octomom won it.
I mean, she's a stupid bitch, but her douchebaggery barely rivals that of P. Diddy, Kanye West, Axel Rose, Perez Hilton, etc, etc
April 3rd, 2009 at 01:31 pm
I disagree. At least P. Diddy doesn't drain the taxpayers. She is a dumb bitch and is the biggest douche by far. That clown car vagina needs to move to another state so I don't have to pay for her idiocy.
April 1st, 2009 at 11:20 am
What percentage of the editing staff does Anonymous represent with this description of POTUS? My thoughts are: This representation and publication supports the underlying and ever present existance of racial hatred!
Thank you for your continued support and bigotry askmen.com..........
Ben Moore,
New Jersey
conservative member:
Heritage Foundation
Evesham Township GOP
NRA
Veteran, U.S. Navy
April 3rd, 2009 at 03:09 pm
Octo mom, all the way!!! She is a selfish, calculating, b*** who uses her babies to get what SHE wants. She stated that she needed help b/c of her babies?? Well, there are millions of other mothers around this world who need help b/c they have children! Her difference?? She CHOSE this path to poverty! It was deliberate. Was was the Run to you help for those other millions of women around the world?? For starters, she could have NOT gotten the work done to her face in order to make her more 'receptive' to those weak-minded individuals who would fall for her scam. I bet that this money saved from the surgery would have bought a LOT of baby food,diapers, AND paid some rent...hence her next problem--solved by others. What is she going to do when the charm from her 'I HAD TOO MANY BABIES ON PURPOSE' scam wears off?? I guess she'll just have another litter, get some more work done, and cry on tv for more help. There will always be fools in the waiting to help out, is her philosophy. OCTOMOM ALL THE WAY DOUCHEBAG OF THE YEAR 2009.
April 3rd, 2009 at 04:59 pm
Can I get a blowjob from octo-mom
April 6th, 2009 at 10:58 am
No, but you can impregnate me with triplets if you want.
April 5th, 2009 at 09:03 am
You are a great American.
April 5th, 2009 at 02:43 pm
The war was really popular in the beginning.... 70% of Americans supported it. Bush DID go with the polls.
April 6th, 2009 at 12:37 am
Wait, OK. Let's just evaluate the basis of your logic. You're defending Bush and crucifying Obama only "does what is popular" and Bush ignored the fact that going to war was unpopular but did it anyway. I'm sorry, I thought this was a Democracy? The president, and all politicians are elected as representatives of the people! So saying something "is popular" is trying to put a negative spin on "the will of the people". It's not popularity that counts, it's what the majority of us want! That's how Democracy works. A President that goes against the will of his people to do what he thinks is best (or in Bush's case, what God told him to do) ceases to become a democratically elected President and becomes a Dictator, imposing his will on the people he is supposed to serve.
April 6th, 2009 at 11:25 am
I thought you liberals were supposed to be pro-human rights?? Didn't the people of Iraq and Afghanistan have any rights? President Bush and our military liberated over 53 million people in those two countries combined. You believe this is a bad thing?? What cosmic bunny hole have I fallen into?? Holy shit, you are truly a world class douche.
April 6th, 2009 at 11:35 am
No you dumbass, this is not a democracy. It is a Constitutional Republic
Post new comment