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25 Acceptable Reasons to not Watch Game of Thrones

Game of Thrones returned last night and it was awesome because it could be nothing but.  Some people apparently don’t watch Thrones, however and that’s OK, we all have our reasons for insane, unjustifiable behavior.  Here are the only acceptable reasons for not watching Game of Thrones.  Not having HBO is not a reason, incidentally because you obviously can get HBO.  No one’s stopping you.

  1. You are incarcerated in a Super Max prison
  2. You are not alive.  Thank you, however, for reading Holy Taco
  3. Your eyes were eaten by weasels
  4. You are currently falling from an airplane
  5. You  are on fire
  6. You are in the midst of a kick ass orgy and not one of those gross, 70s orgies
  7. You are on Game of Thrones and remember what happened when you filmed the episode
  8. You are George RR Martin
  9. You are Kim Jong Un and have a busy night of being comically insane ahead of you
  10. Your TV is a portal to Hell so instead of Game of Thrones you’re just going to be stabbed in the ass with fiery pitchforks
  11. You live in a dimension where Game of Thrones is actually just 60 minutes of Barbara Walters in the shower
  12. Every time you put on HBO an evil doppelganger of yourself shits in your hair
  13. Peter Dinklage has vowed to destroy your entire world and everything you care for if he catches you watching anything he does
  14. You are a ninja and have to go fight other sinister ninja types
  15. Your head is stuck in a banister and you can’t make it to a TV
  16. Your country is at war and your TV was shot
  17. You have a mental illness that causes you to black out and engage in nefarious sexual acts with inanimate objects any time the TV comes on
  18. You smoke crack
  19. You’re a terrible person and plan to watch TLC tonight as an outward manifestation of your terribleness
  20. You are on the moon.  Hello up there!
  21. You’re in a ham-induced coma
  22. You’re in the midst of spontaneously combusting
  23. When you turned on the TV it inexplicably transported you to Cameroon
  24. A gypsy curse causes your penis to explode and keep exploding whenever good TV shows on are
  25. You suck.  No wait, that’s not a good reason.  Watch Game of Thrones

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