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25 Ideas For The Next Fad To Replace Twerking

The internet is full of flash in the pan fads that no one remembers a month later such as Gangnam Style, the Harlem Shake, caring about Kony, planking, and twerking.  How much longer will we endure twerking?  Thanks to Miley Cyrus and some popular videos its life span has been extended, but it’s flame is flickering out and will soon die.  So what can we hope to replace it with?  These!

  1. Crotch-Juggling:  Juggling your goodies while making eye contact with strangers
  2. Nicholsoning: Talking like Jack Nicholson, bonus points if you’re Christian Slater
  3. Electric Spelunking:  Using joy buzzers for sexual exploration
  4. Shamanning: Using totems to divine the future, maybe with a hip soundtrack
  5. Wretching: Dressing like a miserable hobo
  6. Old Farting: Sucking on butterscotch candies while yelling at kids
  7. Chering: Singing with a robot
  8. Duplexing: Doing everything with someone on top of you
  9. The Canadian Motorcade: Going through a drive-thru on a moose
  10. Cheddar Hauling: Not washing your crotch for a week then initiating a sexual event on hidden cam
  11. Ratcheting: Using your orifices to engage in home repairs
  12. Hot Potting: Snorting cayenne pepper and then trying to remain perfectly calm
  13. Falcon Dumping:  Pooping in a bag, giving it to a falcon, having the falcon dump it in a heavily trafficked area
  14. Cat Washing:  You shower but use a cat as a cloth
  15. Hog Twaddling: Exactly what it sounds like
  16. Sanitary Fairy:  Put a pad with wings on your back, pretend to be a fairy
  17. Just the Tipping: Counting out your tip with your penis
  18. Gerbiling: Not the Richard Gere thing, this is where you put a gerbil in your butt.  Oh wait, that is the Richard Gere thing.
  19. Zombie Dogging:  Strap a bunch of rotten meat to your dog, make it walk real slow.
  20. Slut Priding:  The opposite of slut shaming.  Y’know, say nice and supportive things to them
  21. Blue Balling: Almost get off, but then don’t. Repeatedly.
  22. Alton Browning: Talk non-stop about food whilst looking like a malnourished cancer patient
  23. Abominable Snowmanning:  Wait for winter, then knock out pedestrians, take them to a cave and eat them
  24. After Burning: Eat sriracha-coated ghost peppers chased with hot Jamaican ginger soda and Tobasco-infused bean burritos then try to survive the gassy fallout.
  25. Ben Afflecking: Be a joke for a long time, then do something noteworthy, then do something that makes everyone hate you for no reason

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