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25 Passive Aggressive Office Kitchen Notes

No one place on Earth harbors more passive aggression than an office kitchen. This can lead to some pretty interesting and potentially relationship crushing passive aggressive notes. Here are the 25 most passive aggressive notes found in office kitchens. 


239 Responses to "25 Passive Aggressive Office Kitchen Notes"

  1. Vegan Soy Fucker says:

    I myself am a vegan,I do run marathons…but I also don’t give two big shits where you throw your fucking pizza.

  2. rob says:

    well said lol

  3. Jenni says:

    I don’t understand how people put so much energy into these responses… Oop! I’m contradicting myself by leaving a comment. Oh well, just joining a few of the hypocrites here :) -\”/

  4. FoodEater says:

    I work overnight and am the only person that works overnight at my job. If someone leaves their lunch in the fridge over night it is fair game. This was a rule set down by my company owner and CEO. If you bring food to work for lunch, make sure it is either disposed of or someone else will dispose of it for you. Last night I had some amazing french bread and some pasta all thanks to a forgetful co-worker. I get fed almost everynight because people leave their food in the fridge.

  5. Wow, that's some balls says:

    Every single one of these notes was stolen from http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com

  6. Stick says:

    Thanks for posthing this.
    I was counting on an ice cold soda, that I had put in the frige before school, when I got home only to find some fucker had taken it.

  7. D says:

    Only poor people eat lunch at work.
    Only democrats think poor people pay taxes.
    Only douche bags calculate Pi.
    There, it’s settled…

  8. office jerk says:

    i just think that food brought into the office fridge is public fucking property. If you leave it there, it’s up for grabs at lunch – unless you get first, i’ll fucking steal that shit.

  9. blueBalls says:


    Vegans can eat my meat.

    i bring my food to work, shit saves HELLA money. plus i work out, need my quality carbs [flexes glistening torso]. you like that? you like what you see, bitch? yeah, that’s right. Meat, baby. fucking meat.


  10. blueBalls says:

    Erin, god dammit. God DAMN it Erin. Can’t you see? This is important stuff, Erin! We gotta figure this shit out! Come on! Be a part of the solution, Erin! Not the problem.

    Food is NOT food, Erin. Food is so much more. Yet, also, at the same time, and by the same token, food IS food. it’s just food Erin. Also, Bacon is life. FACT.

  11. blueBalls says:

    Jenni – I’m gonna ask you to do something. But I don’t want you to freak out, ok? It’s not “weird”, it’s perfectly normal. Don’t listen to your girlfriends, they’re just jealous of our relationship. Its purity. Its rich, smoky flavor.

    Here’s what i want you to do, Jenni… [hands Jenni a ceremonial urn filled with room temperature bacon grease]… take this lard, Jenni – and annoint me. Annoint my torso with it. Give me life.


  12. KingRadical says:

    Well, yeah, Alex, if you eat too much meat, bad things happen.

    That’s a given. It’s unhealthy to overdo ANYTHING.

    But giving up meat altogether? Ludicrous, particularly from the “health” standpoint most vegetarians and vegans take. The simple fact of it all is that human beings are omnivores. Not herbivores, not carnivores, omnivores. There are certain essential amino acids and animal-based proteins that we REQUIRE to be healthy, that are extremely difficult or impossible to get from purely vegetarian sources.

    That said, most Americans eat way too much red meat, and have abominably high sodium intakes.

    P.S. Bacon is LIFE!

  13. Omnivore says:

    Hey, BaconIsFuckingLife, vegans DO run marathons and they’re champs at it! Good luck with that heart attack.

  14. YourTastyMom says:

    As long as the dookie is next to the pizza, I don’t see a problem with taking a slice or two.

  15. aPlateOfGrapes says:

    Hey D – succinct, kudos.

  16. Yum-Yum says:

    I’m hungry…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

  17. Cynthia says:

    I stopped this problem years ago…..it’s called bringing your own lunchbox and placing it under your desk. Nobody, I repeat nobody has ever taken my lunch from under my feet, literally!!!

  18. Cut The Cheese says:

    but would the smell of your feet transfer to your lunch? i’m feeling sick.

  19. Alex says:

    Mmmmm… anti-boner linch pills.

  20. Alex says:

    You sound like that lady i killd because she shouted thanks for listening at me when i didn’t listen atall. I thnk she was mostlikely stil in highschool!!

  21. lost in a vagina says:

    thats just nasty

  22. Superdup3r says:

    im gonna write some shit like that next time someone eats my crackers!!

  23. yvonne says:

    if it was a male id put some erectile disfunctional pills in a linch that they would steal

  24. have an open mind says:

    let me start with the fact that just because you bring your lunch to work does not mean youre poor, and bringing up that fact and the EBT fact just goes to show you may have an education in books but not in life and it obviously didnt get you very far since you are working in the same environments as those ‘poor people’. PS they also pay taxes so if they do recieve financial help through the goverment its not just your tax money supporting them they put into it aswell. as for people eating others lunches, its not funny and very rude cause there are reasons people bring their own food and you just ruined their lunch, thats real grown up!!! you must still be in highschool. as for the ones trapping the food, it doesnt work if you tell them its traped! it just makes them do it more.i agree with cynthia, bring a small cooler, or cold lunch box and keep at ur desk. as for the ones that can afford to go out everyday, dont assume that makes you better then others when realy it just makes you dumber cause you may blow that money in front of people everyday but mostlikely in privet you hafta figure out how to make up for it. you probly hafta ask your parents to help keep you afloat.Keep your minds open to other peoples situations!! THANKS FOR LISTENING!!

  25. AnonymousJ says:

    The same thing happened to me this Morning, I made some chicken johnny the day before, put it in the fridge, marked it, went to get it hours later, and guess what?

    just two pieces left out of eight, and one with a bite out of it. Yeah… and dont even got me started on boxes of donuts oh no!

  26. Alex says:

    Don’t suppose you proud carnivores/fast food addicts realize the best reason for cutting that shit out? Going down on a burger-eater is disgusting. Vegetarians just taste better. I don’t care how hot a girl is… if she eats starts sweating out the smell of the grease traps from fast food joints in the middle of a good time, that’s just fucking gross. Go ahead and be all self-righteous and whine that “the tofu nazis” can have your steak when they pry it out of your cold, dead hands… isn’t getting more head reason enough? Or did you think that loading yourself up with cholesterol, saturated fats, and food preservatives would give you more energy and make you a better lover?

    I don’t care what you reply back, I bet a lot of you have never thought about this aspect. Shit, this is privileged information… use it however you want.

  27. LatteWhore says:

    I can calculate pi to 47 places and and I can USE the equation E=mc squared and actually understand what it means and the heavy implications that it has.

    And your point?? You have totally failed to impress me.

  28. Alex says:

    ps –

    a) Yeah, I definitely have moments of missing bacon sandwiches.

    b) blueBalls: you are one funny motherfucker.

  29. jizz in my pants says:

    if i brough pizza id take a shit in the box with me, who would wana steal someones pizza that has shit beside it?

  30. Lacey says:

    Your name is LATTEWHORE…Hun, let me assure you that no one cares to impress you.

  31. tnk says:

    this whole page makes me crack up.

    -first off the notes these people have put up in order to keep others away from their food, haha…
    as someone has already said “lunchbox it”

    -second off the comments you people have posted are equally just as funny. dont be a moron, dont insult your neighbor, bc they bring their lunch, a home cooked meal (even if it is a left over) is so much better than the big mac you pick up. and the uneduacated poor person” whose ebt card isnt excepted at a restruant probably just enjyed a better meal than your crap colored, greasy burger.

    it has always been a mystery to me
    how men can feel themselves honoured
    by the humiliation of their fellow beings.

  32. Pie-Hole says:

    Putting anything poisionous into food that someone will likely eat, even a thief, can result in some serious criminal charges. Not at all recommended! These days, non-intrusive methods like hidden video cams are of use in identifying shared-space food thieves. Personally, I feel sorry for people who have such low self-esteem that they would take a bite out of someone else’s pizza slice or bran muffin.

    I used to brown-bag almost daily when I had an office job, not only to save money for something more important than lunch, but because it was healthier. Fortunately, the others in my office were pretty respectful of other’s food, and meal-stealing was not a problem.

  33. Anonymous21 says:

    i second that, you guys crack me up! lol

  34. Damn says:

    …HT always has the Best Comments Section! Check out the comments on the photos.

  35. MrKillson says:

    Don’t care what anyone else says, that was pure pwnage.

  36. GG says:

    This is the best read in a while, got me crackin up. I guess cause I’ve seen it so many times at work myself. I thought my offie was the only one that has this horrible problem. , glad to know I do not suffer alone. LOL

  37. Fantastic Sam says:

    If you use the office refrigerator, you’re asking for some cat anus to fuck with your shit.

    Just eat Arby’s every day.

    Then die.

  38. Fantastic Sam says:

    Fine, girls and your boyfriend can go vegan than. I’m gonna eat-fuck the rest of your share.

  39. Frig McCrevasse says:

    That’s pretty awesome, FoodEater. Your CEO is very clever- keeping the workplace tidy by allowing the scavengers to scavenge. I wonder if that wisdom might be applied elsewhere?

    Hookers left overnight in hotel rooms? (It’s not like the pimp isn’t angry already.)
    Sperm left overnight in hookers? (Husband got a vasectomy? All juice, no seeds? Can’t find a gay dude with a turkey baster? Hot and cold running semen on tap, ladies!)
    Babies left overnight in maternity wards? (I’ve always wanted a tiny butler. If it doesn’t work out, I can leave it in the fridge overnight and FoodEater’ll take care of it.)

    There’s no ceiling on this one, folks.

  40. Erin says:

    People, why is this an issue? Get back to life. What you are complaining about has no real substance. Who cares who goes out to eat. Or who brings their own lunch? Food is food, and not a society standard. BREATH

  41. Dramallama says:


  42. dfsdfdfsfddfs says:

    hahaahah, why are you idiots so idiotic.. I know because youre idiots

  43. Cdoscope says:

    SO what say y’all? is is ok to chomp on someone else’s lunch? That the bottom line, no?

  44. p says:

    I only eat out. fuck you cock fiddlers. you poor motherfuckers

  45. BrutalDeluxe says:

    You fools make me miss philosopher.

  46. pi-eater says:

    um, you don’t “calculate” pi to 47 digits (unless you’re just trying to get close with 22/7).

  47. NotFat says:

    People who eat out all the time are generally Fat… Who cares if you have money if you are fat and gross.

  48. Mudbutt says:

    Try “Master Of None” or “Fringe.”

  49. Nakie says:


    Yes, just because someone brings a lunch it means they are poor. Get a life, you jackass.

  50. aPlateOfGrapes says:

    I didn’t say only poor people bring lunches to work. I stated I’m not poor so I don’t have to bring in lunch and eat at work like a sucker.

    PS – what’s it like being poor? I know they don’t take EBT cards at restaurants, so I know why you eat at work. I hope you are enjoying my tax money.

    PPS – there’s a reply button you can use. Just so you know…

    PPPS – notice I didn’t use any crude juvenile responses, like tardo, idiot, hyper-fag, butt-monger, etc… I have an education.

  51. cedric says:

    You’re an idiot.

  52. imtimmith says:

    Well for someone that is educated, you really don’t know how to shut up do you? You did emphasize that you have money and that the only reason that people do bring a lunch is because they are poor. Im sorry that not all of us can afford to go out to eat on a daily basis, but those that cannot usually have a nice family to go home to. Remember, you cleary state this poor issue more than once. Also, I like how you say you don’t say certain things, but yet you still have the nerve to say them like you never even thought of. You need to stop focusing on the fact that some people have it hard and they actually have to work to get somewhere in life. YOU sound like the kind of person that has always have had things handed to you, I mainly say this because it’s usually people like you that bitch the most about everything. Try doing this for once, focus on yourself and stop trying to run everyones lives.

  53. Caine says:

    Perhaps you aren’t poor but you are arrogant and pretentious. You did, in fact, stoop to vulgarity. By listing off the crude invectives that you “Chose not to use” you clearly demonstrated that you thought of them in response to the previous poster and in a passive aggressive manner implied all of said things. It’s one of those things that people who aren’t half as clever as they think they are, do. Me? I am poor. It sucks. I also have no formal education. I’m an autodidact. I can calculate pi to 47 places and and I can USE the equation E=mc squared and actually understand what it means and the heavy implications that it has. But then again the other guy jumped your case for no reason. How about a compromise: You are both tools!

  54. Britty says:

    Leftovers for the win. I’m poor and will eat gelatinous Chinese food for up to a week after it’s creation. And I’ll still enjoy it.

  55. NotPoorEither says:

    What the heck is an EBT card?

  56. J.A. RN sick of ignorance says:

    I am a registered nurse and definately not stupid or uneducated. But, I don’t go out to eat lunch every day. I was on EBT while I was in school and mommy and daddy didn’t pay for my education, and no, I’m not someone trying to “mooch” off of your money…I’m getting my OWN hard earned taxes back. As smart as you “think” you are, you are positively the most ignorant person I’ve ever heard. How dare you say that anyone who brings their lunch must be uneducated or make any assumptions about those on food stamps. If you feel that way, why don’t you ask what your family doctor did while he/she was in med school to make ends meet. People like you would do well walking a mile in other people’s shoes. By the way, I didn’t call you a name…i just speculated on one of your character traits.

  57. marv says:

    If you guys would have read his post carefully without volunteering your feelings to get hurt, you would have realized that he said can go out to lunch every day because he has money, and that if you are poor you cannot go out to lunch every day. He never said that bringing your lunch to work means you are necessarily poor. Is it a little obnoxious? Yes. But it is absolutely true. Don’t hate. Don’t get jealous.

  58. marv says:

    And now you get all in his grill and give an excuse to let the real obnoxiousness out.

  59. marv says:

    BTW, people who eat at work are suckers. I go out to lunch usually and still eat at my desk. I am a sucker.

  60. aPlateOfGrapes says:

    “Must have hit a little close to the mark to get her all riled up like that, huh kid?”

    …and all that because I said I’m not poor? Eeesh. I’d venture to say MOST of the people on this site have been, or are currently poor (ramen, anyone?). HT could probably confirm if they’ve done any market research on their target demo.

    BTW, EBT is electronic Food Stamps. J.A. – Good for you, for getting an education and getting off public assistance. Seriously. You’ve used the program the way it’s supposed to be used; a temporary bridge until you get on your feet. Over 90% are on EBT for over a year, more than 25% are on public assistance for LIFE. To say I had mommy and daddy pay for my education is quite a leap. I paid for my education (took me 8 years to pay off my loans), worked full time (40 hour work week) AND had a paying internship on top of being a full time student so I could make ends meet. Do I deserve a medal? Hell no, but I’m proud I could do it. I worked hard and have done well for myself.

    Finally, yes, I was stooping to “name calling’ as a way of making fun of the usual less than articulate comebacks like “jackass’, “fag”, etc… my humor is just a little too biting and dry for some, I suppose.

  61. Midget says:

    I want to know who keeps buying frozen t.v. trays. That shit is hard to reach.

  62. Iwrkfermiself says:

    The Office is a sad microcosm of the world. Glad I don’t have to be packed in with a bunch of muffin nibblin’ sardines fighting for a cracker. Back to your cube death cattle, we’ll let you out on the weekend to blow off the stress of co-workers stealing your honey buns by getting ham-faced on Jager watching sports and reality TV.

  63. answermebitches says:

    vegans are niggers in disguise

  64. CHILD says:

    DUDE!!!!. People this fuggin cool. i had to be a part of this super long post. but we forgot whats important

  65. God I hate all of you, especially Anonymous124 says:

    @Anonymous124 – For Christ sake, you’re mocking someone for not reading the post it properly when you didn’t read it properly yourself.

    While your statement of “Cheese is not a meat and bread sure as hell isn’t” is very true, you failed to mention the key ingredient on that pizza. It said Donair pizza. Donair’s are typically made of lamb meat cooked on a spit, then shaved an put in a pita or on a pizza, etc. Hence despite likely not containing any bacon, the pizza would’ve still had meat on it. Morons!!!

  66. snobby skank says:

    some of you people are real low-lifes. just because you bring your lunch to work doesn’t mean ANYTHING about you. it doesn’t mean you’re poor.

    - some people like to eat at work because they can go home earlier instead of wasting part of their lunch break in traffic

    - some like to bring their own lunch because they have a disease or strict diet which is hard to follow in a restaurant

    - a lot of people are just plain picky about what they eat and it’s just easier to bring whatever you want

    - some don’t like sitting around shooting the bull with people they hate in a loud restaurant for an hour

    - some people are educated enough to know that just about everything prepared in a restaurant is unhealthy and made with the cheapest ingredients

    - some people like to use their lunch break to run other errands, like grocery shop, go to the dry cleaners, go to the post office, or go to the bank. you know, all things extremely poor people do!

    i hope you feel awesome paying $25 for some bunk ass reuben in a crowded deli made with lunch meat that sat out all night or some punk kid peed on. you’re obviously the winner here.

    (but seriously, salad dressing? who cares if someone uses that. condiments are fair game.)

  67. El Barto says:

    This is the funniest! LOLz. Keep up the good work! Im not talking about the pix neither!

  68. carpenter's wife says:

    My husband works construction and one summer the imigrants (no English) kept going into his cooler and taking all his water so I taped labels on all the bottles of a drawing – a man peeing in a bottle, put yellow food coloring it all of them and that was that.

  69. Ryan Walker says:

    Hahahahaha Billie totally does this to Zack on ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE, the new CBS show on Monday night. Such a great show!

  70. Established_Anarchy says:

    I’ve sat here, on my bed, reading this shit for getting on an hour now, and I can’t help but pipe in now, even though I know by doing so I make myself a hypocrite of my own opinions.
    This has been the funniest fucking internet read ever. The actual notes sucked, but all the comments are hilarious.
    Everything from the guy who likes the taste of chupacabra, to everyone misunderstanding the guy who goes out to eat lunch and has enough money to do so, and railing him until his metaphorical ass is bleeding like a paraplegic prison inmate’s after shower time, its just too goddamn good.
    No disrespect, but fuck you all, and fuck myself for contributing. Everyone of you who said anything with a negative emotion behind it, so all of you, need to find a better place to vent your anger. Channel your anger into energy and find a way for us to live sustainably. And if you want to do something that actually gets rid of your anger, go start a fight, burn down the home office of some corporate syndicate like walmart, challenge the supposed leaders you have relinquished control too, defy the fucking system and tear it to the ground.
    However hard you push down the keys on the keyboard at the desk of your mediocre job, its not going to change how mediocre your job is, its not going to change that some asshole intern keeps stealing your gogurt, and its definitely not going to change the way your boss always tries to pick up on you at the office parties despite it being blatantly against company policy and his marital vows.

    Here are some of my individual responses:
    To the guy who called the other guy homophobic for calling yet another guy gay, he’s not homophobic, just an ass (when you assume you make an ass out of you and me, more literally u and me) and a conformist. He’s not hiding out in his mental house of straightness, avoiding the outside world of gayness (a reference to agoraphobia for those of you who are stupid or simply don’t share the same experiences as me), he’s just guessing, and probably incorrectly at that, gaydar doesn’t really work over ill-informed internet comments.

    To everyone who lashed at our caeser impressionist, mr plate of grapes or whatever his damn name was, it doesn’t really matter, did any of you actually read what he wrote? No, seriously, I’m actually asking, because it seems like you all took a number and got in line waiting for your chance to take a bite out and a large amount of people ignored or didn’t notice that he didn’t ever say “only poor people bring lunches to work,” or any variation. You acted like you assumed his mommy never packed him a sack lunch for his class field trip, so what if he’s an ass, and he probably is, you all are and I sure am, when did this become about his ethics and lack there of? Just because he’s some d-bag (douche bag for those of you not integrated into our truly poor educational system) who makes more money than you doesn’t mean you should pretend that’s a golden ticket to act like he’s your cheap scape cousin who wouldn’t give you four bucks if it meant you could save your failing small business, chances are he’s not the monetary power behind all the wrongdoing in your life. I think he’d have more than an hour lunch break if he was.

    And finally, to the guy I’m actually responding too, people is not a synonym for human, and we are not carnivorous. we are omnivorous, although I guarantee if you try to shove a t-bone in any of my orifices, I will sharpen that same t-bone and shove it slowly through your skull right between your eyes so you can feel it all the way until it hits a part of your brain that controls a vital organ. Don’t even offer to fuck with the clinically insane.

    And here’s my P.S., I’m a junior in highschool, so now go back and read that novel I just wrote with a grain of salt, read it with your assumptions that I don’t have a lot of life experience or whatever your assumptions may be, and you have some even if they are subconscious. If I’m literate enough to use correct punctuation, I expect the same from everyone here, its not like you can’t learn if you don’t know, you apparently have access to the internet and time to spare.

    Wow that was fun =D I wonder if anyone will read that whole thing . . .

  71. tits mcgee says:

    wanna ride bikes?

  72. wooWhat says:

    I’m gonna eat twice as must meat to make up fou sissy bean eaters

  73. C says:

    What complete and utter bullshit. You can compost any food or vegetation. I’ve been doing it for over thirty years and never had any problems you speak of. Did you believe something posted on the internet just because if supported your views? Hmmmmmm. Do you have any actual experience with composting? Hmmmmm? I’m pretty sure Vegans are awesome because they don’t eat all of the food I want anyway. Who the hell voluntarily eats soy? I’mma go eat meat, bacon, and bacon wrapped meat, in that order.

  74. WTF_DUDE says:

    You know I really love bacon too! But the doc says if I eat anymore I will die. Loving the veggies!

  75. The Elf says:

    yo, im a vegitarian, but not on principal, kill whatever you want i dont care, i eat dairy and animal products, so im not a vegan. Vegans are taking things a little too far, its creepy. i dont like meat cuz it tastes like crap…nasty. just hate the taste of garbage i dont know what to say. i dont trip out on plants eather, i eat starch lol im a pasta-terian i eat potatoes. im young enough and active enough to where i can eat what i want, and im healthy because i dont eat meat. and those cows are tortured btw…just throwing that out there. its effed up what they do to those cows dood…seriously just freaking shoot it…why you got to chop its head off all slow like. brutal. and btw one more thing, there is alot of crap in your meat..as in cow feces…nasty…i wont eat without washing my hands for fear of my own germs let alone cow dung.

  76. Anonymous personage says:

    I read the whole thing – well said!

  77. Green says:

    I think the real point is to keep meat out of the compost. To successfully compost you should not put eggs or meat in it!! They don’t compost and hence ruin the whole lot.

    There may well have been underlying meat hate to the initial post, but in general, it is a practically thing more than comment on lifestyle choice.

  78. Jack says:

    This one definitely deserves to be added to the list:


  79. robot chicken says:

    Having lunch/frig issues @ wk????? Mad/Pissed off???? Try the “chicken choker method”!! Caution,”Do not try this AT HOME!!”(U will READ soon!) Ingredients-1 FRESH small box of KFC,in bag,walk by suspects desk on wa 2 FRIG! Load medium size MOUSE TRAP,(HE,HE,ie-RAT!) cover w/the box’s paper,wait 4 the overwhelming smell of KF******C!!! Hold laughter till SNAP!!!! (U GET THE IDEA!!)

  80. CDarwin says:

    What’s wrong with you people eating bacon is not a healthy choice, you should really consider excluding bacon from your diet. You should consider eating the vegans or you could try a baby seal burger instead.

  81. Turner says:

    I actually know a vegan triathlete, so… uhm… maybe vegans can run marathons.

    Just sayin’.

  82. bacon wrapped bull fucker says:

    If we’re not carnivorous, why do we have pointy K-9 teeth to cut through meat in our mouths. Elephants do not have such teeth, and are indeed, not carnivorous. I personally don’t give a shit who eats what, but don’t think for a second that if I catch you saying people weren’t meant to eat meat that I won’t shove a T-bone up your ass. P.S. I like elephants.

  83. REDNECK7 says:

    oh man i loooove meat. i also used to work in an office so i know the pain of losing food. that’s why i now carry a glock…then again i also work in the field but that’s not the point. the point is if you carry around a glock…wait nevermind…i know some dumbass will interpret that wrong and shoot up the office. dun carry a glock to work. unless you’re gettin paid to be armed. back to original topic, meat is AMAZING! it has so many protiens that you can’t get from soy-anything. plus vegans scare me. i wonder if they are any different in bed than a meat eater. i’d imagine not only cuz i like my women to tear the hell outa their dead rotting rare-cooked bloody steak. has anyone slept with a vegan? if so, are they any different?

  84. Anonymusmussen says:

    Put some liquid laundry detergent on the can, then walk around later with a portable blacklight.

  85. Allycat says:

    HahahahaA!!! Bacon Is life. Last pic is the best.

  86. ALan says:

    Reminds me of the old joke about the farmer that kept getting his watermelons stolen. He put a sign in the patch saying “One of these watermelons is poisoned. Guess which one.” The next morning he want out to check and found another sign: “Now there’s two. You guess”.

  87. amused by absurdity says:

    keyboard super heroes are weak. half of you don’t have what it takes to say two words to a woman.

  88. Anonymous1 says:

    your all idiots
    meat does not go in a composter!

  89. paybacksareabitch says:

    I just love reading all your posts (especially while I’m at work eating your lunch).

    Thanks for the laughs and all the free food. I must say though, the spicy brown mustard you brought in makes me a little gassy so when you get a chance, some non-spicy would be greatly appreciated.
    Thanks so much.

  90. rzbz says:

    Can i point out to everyone talking about the compost one: *you cannot compost meat*. Composting meat leads to bad compost, which will not help your plants. Not only this, but by handling said compost you put yourself at grave risk of contracting a disease. DO NOT COMPOST MEAT.

  91. Nano Ralph says:

    composter can’t have cheese and meat? theyre filled with nutrients for a growing garden, retard vegan.


  92. ReUnder says:

    Wykop ! I MURZYÃ…Æ’SKI CHUJ wam w DUPE!

  93. Lloyd says:

    A vegan won the Hawaiian Iron Man Triathlon five years in a row. He left the meat eaters in the dust. There’s a reason the Roman Empire didn’t feed its armies meat. The reason was so the troops could march fifty miles in a day and go right into battle. Meat eaters don’t have the stamina to do that. Vegans do. Vegans also don’t have as much fat to carry on that march. The Roman Empire lasted for a thousand years with those tactics. Also, vegans that eat a healthy diet tend to live longer with less disease while meat eaters have a lingering death (the average is ten to fifteen years) as the quality of life fades along with a dozen or more drugs to deal with all the diseases that come with eating too much animal protein and animal fats. Fats from nuts like almonds are better for you. Seventy percent of your brain is fat. The brain needs fat to survive and if you feed it milk and meat, the brain actually turns rancid but if the brain fat comes from vegetable sources, it doesn’t turn rancid and ages. So, meat eaters could be called, “Old, Aging Rancid Brains.” More than half of meat eating men cannot get erections after the age of fifty. Those numbers go up. Their cardiovascular system is so full of junk from the milk, cheese and meat, that they can’t generate the blood pressure for an erection without taking a pill that can kill them. Vegans don’t have that problem,they can have sex even when they are a hundred without the little blue pill.

  94. Grekrs says:

    I don’t know what you all are going on about, but I like OCD-guy.

  95. baconChick says:

    @ meat-o-nator
    I totally want to do dirty things to your meat.
    ou be funny!

  96. doesn't matter says:


    R U serious?

  97. jmg says:

    Soyfucker alone made that totally worth it :)

  98. Rick says:

    “Go to the mirror, open your mouth, notice the incisors, then notice the canines. Strange that you, an herbivore, would have so much in common with all of earths carnivores. Weird.”

    Yeah, it’s weird that you’re such a fucking moron. Herbivores such as horses, hippos and gorillas have incisors and canines – and theirs are much bigger than ours. I repeat, you are fucking stupid if you think your teeth indicate canivorism. If, on the other hand, you had some carnassial teeth, you’d be able to make a good argument, but of course you don’t, because only carnivores have carnassial teeth. Fuck you for being so stupid.

  99. 4CHAN RULZ says:

    S0 1 H3RdZ y0z 1iK3z MuDk1Pz?

    For the Non – Leet

    So I herdz you likez mudkips?

  100. Omnivore says:

    We will all be eating Solient Green before its all said and done. There is no sustainable food source for this planet. We are omnivores, and by design or evolution we need a balanced diet of many things including plants and animal flesh. Face it. You can force yourself to live on a diet of boogers and green beans, but that doesn’t change things. Now, if say you and your offspring will continue to eat only vegetables, perhaps in many years your eyes will migrate to the sides of your head and you will scurry at the slightest of sounds, but who cares. I will eat meat as long as I can. Then I will eat vegans. :o )

  101. Hoodie G says:

    Im glad im on top of the food chain.

    Ill eat a tiger if I want.

  102. Samantha says:

    It’s your personal choice to be vegan if its for health reasons, religious reasons or whatever I respect that. Just don’t label it with a stupid excuse. Eating meat is completely normal, why doesn’t anyone tell the bears out there that they shouldn’t be eating other animals and give them only vegetables? Likewise, what you do with -your- eating habits is -your- business. I dont’ care if you digest strictly shit everyday, but by all means don’t try to force it on other people or label with an “it’s because of animal cruelty”. With all these people being vegans over animal rights, what about VEGETABLE RIGHTS EH? Shouldn’t they be protected as well, they weren’t even given a voice. So for vegans who are all up tight over not eating meat over animal cruelty, honestly don’t even eat the plants either. Just eat your damn fingers for the sake of vegetable cruelty.

    and Anonymous112316632 ?
    With what you said? LOL i’m not surprised the people who agree with you ARE HITLER and the people who don’t agree with you are also hitler. Thanks for sharing your negative two cents. That’s right, it wasn’t even worth money – you owe money.

  103. Tek says:

    “Ahhhh… watch as the poor defenseless Vegan grazes near the river; unknown that the carnivore stalks his prey.

    Unfortunately for the Vegan he is a natural omnivore and his life choice limits his nutrition, which means he will not be able to defend himself against the stronger and more healthy meat eater. Please, if you have small children tell them to look away, this will not be pretty.”

  104. Tek says:

    lloyd, you are totally and completely full of BS. Whomever told you that was either and idiot trying to justify you joining their awful lifestyle, or you simply made a bunch of garbage up to try and validate your own pitiful choice. The Roman Armies most definitely DID eat meat, and did so whenever possible.

    “but clearly the Roman soldier of at least the Imperial period did eat meat and probably with regularity.”

    “Much of Davies’ work in “The Roman Military Diet” is interpretation, but some of it is scientific analysis of bones excavated. From the analysis, we know the Romans ate ox, sheep, goat, pig, deer, bore, and hare, in most places and in some areas, elk, wolf, fox, badger, beaver, bear, vole, ibex, and otter. Broken beef bones suggest the extraction of marrow for soup. Alongside the animal bones, archaeologists found equipment for roasting and boiling the meat as well as for making cheese from the milk of domesticated animals. Fish and poultry were also popular, the latter especially for the sick.”


    And who cares if Dave Scott; a Vegan, won a triathlon 5 years in a row. Guess who won it every other time? A meat eater. It’s only publicized because a Vegan winning a triathlon is similar to a one legged man winning a marathon. They succeeded with a handicap, that doesn’t make them superior; just newsworthy.

  105. gofuckyourpenis says:

    oh my fucking god you all fail at the internet. BAD LOSERS! BAD!!!

  106. Yummy says:

    Whats wrong with Vegans? I love deep fried Vegan…

  107. Jasonnnn says:

    hahah the vegetable rights thing always makes me laugh.

    Samantha, you’re an idiot. I’m not a vegetarian or vegan, but all of the non-meat eaters I know don’t fucking care about what bears eat because bears haven’t yet developed a system that keeps their prey in factory farms. THAT’S the main concern. Welcome to the party. I’m pretty sure everyone understands that we have sharp teeth for a reason, but some people just don’t want to give money over to the meat/milk industry because it’s a fucking barbaric way to raise living things. So, some people just decide not to live their life in a way that contributes to that, and of course, there’s a chorus of ten million morons who have to say something about it. Oooohh, being different is GAY isn’t it?

    I feel the same way as most of my veg friends but feel fine about eating meat I catch or I know is free-range farm-raised.

    You all need to stop worrying about something so fucking mind numbing as other people’s eating habits because you sound like a bunch of 9-year-olds.

  108. Michael B says:

    Back in the day, we had the Y2K compliance group move onto our floor. They got all new appliances – fridge, coffee makers, microwaves, etc. which were labeled for their use only.
    Apparently that applied to our food in our fridge as well.

    I wish I had the note I wrote about the special lunch I made. Dog food stew and Exlax brownies. After that, they stopped stealing our lunches.

    The really fun part, was that they were always calling the building maintenance line to complain about the noisy group next to them – which was the building maintenance call center, aka us.

  109. Bruce Lee says:

    Well from all the anger being displayed here, it seems obvious that most of you are feeling the pain of someone stealing your lunch at work

  110. Washboard says:

    The spelling and grammar is atrocious

  111. Charli says:

    Can’t we all just get along? <3 xx

  112. Cristal says:

    I was seriously having a bad day until someone sent me this email! I have laughed my ass off! Thank you so much!!!

  113. WYKOP says:

    WYKOP I CHUJ!!! Murzyński chuj w dupe temu kto kradnie jedzenie!

  114. chicken bone choker says:

    Please leave us chicken bone chokers out of this!
    we lay low and do not bother anyone. So please let
    us enjoys our last gasping breaths in pease.

    P.S. Learning how to do a trakdromentry is a wonderful thing.

  115. Vegan Supporter says:

    To the true VEGANS…


    Rip out your canine teeth and show us your buck tooth smile. Canines are only used for meat you know… you are supporting the eating of meat by even having canines in your mouth.

  116. Anonymousemk11 says:

    Cantstandpretentious, do you really how pretntious you sound, self rightous idiot.

  117. I says:

    Pssst. You’re both queer. Thought you should know.

  118. Evil Taco says:

    I bring in my own food because I cook better than restaurants do. I’d rather blow that hour playing a video game, or reading. Thieves suck.

  119. Evil Nor Cal Amy says:

    video games at lunch = cool

  120. kissmybutthole says:

    Cantstandpretentious, thank you for making the world a better place and while you’re at it you can shove those carrots and grapes up your ass.

  121. aPlateOfGrapes says:

    Food Nazi’s and thieves are some of the most annoying dickheads in the workplace. I never bring lunch with me to work preferring to leave the office for an hour or so (and because I’m not poor), but I’ve been in the cafeteria enough times to have seen a few people get nabbed eating someone else’s lunch. Pretty funny to watch. You’d think if you’re going to steal someone’s lunch, you’d better eat it on the sly, but these people aren’t very smart.

  122. cantstandpretentiousidiots says:

    Wow, I have an education, I work, and bust my bum to keep myself from being completely poor, but I still take my lunch most of the time just because I chose not to be wasteful. If I bring in a bag of grapes and some carrots, not only is it better for me, but it’s also more cost effective. No gas wasting, no extra energy used…so when you think about it, it’s really better for everyone…

    PS-your attitude is crap.

    PSS-your view on life (and society) is even worse than that…

  123. Anonymous124 says:

    Ok with the “rational” argument. If you read the post-it, it would say PIZZA. Last time I checked my pizza was made of bread cheese, and tomato sauce. Cheese is not a meat and bread sure as hell isn’t. The bacon is life is just poking fun at the vegan…it wasn’t necessarily on the pizza.

  124. Internet Police says:

    To Uhhuh, there is no place for rationality on the Internets. You loses 500 points for your comments and must now find your porn in magazines. May God (Tom Cruies) have mercy on your soul.

  125. answermebitches says:

    if i eat only infants and small toddlers… what does that make me?

  126. Jonathan says:

    I am a meat eater. I refuse to fight a half million years of evolution by denying myself meat. If you don’t like it go fuck a rice cake.

  127. Antonymous says:

    As a vegan, fuck off. While I find these all humorous, and I have no issues with any of them (yes, including the funny “bacon is life” one. But just like I am unlike other Vegans in that I don’t push my views on others, you should respect my choices in food.
    Go choke on a chicken bone buddy…

  128. judoal says:

    regarding vegans or vegetarians–my daughter is a vegetarian and she runs marathons and Iron-Man triathelons! The latter is covers something over 140 miles of swimming, biking and running (which includes a marathon distance run). She does it in 12 hours. How many of you folks who think non-meat eaters are wimpy can do this?

  129. king says:

    Sure, right after you fuck a bull.

  130. Nonymouse says:

    evolution which allows us to eat plants as well. we’re not carnivorous, man up and move on. kill a buffalo, hell kill them all, you will probably die of high blood pressure.

    Jonathan, you sound like you might secretly be emasculated and using meat as a manliness crutch. have fun trying to rip me but you’re clearly just a massive fan of meat and you can’t fight it!

  131. don't get fooled again says:

    Evolution? Up until this past century meat was much more scarce than it is now. It was completely unaffordable on the daily volume we consume it now. You may like meat, and that’s your choice, but the evolution argument makes you look a little foolish and naive.

  132. Evolietion says:

    Evolution killed the world trade center

  133. Unfather says:

    Buffalo is like soggy beef farts. Sometimes it’s alright though…

  134. evil says:

    well i had sex with your vegan marathon running daughter, and let me tell you, it was average.

  135. Annoying twat who posts on holly taco says:

    blah blah blah blah blah. the picture done a funny

  136. Jonathan says:

    Did I say meat eater? I meant to say, cock muncher

  137. Flowerpower says:

    and whats wrong with liking beef you homophobic fuck.

  138. Vegan hater says:

    I hate vegans, if you do like bacon your going to hell :P

  139. Klepto says:

    If God didn’t want us to eat animals, why did he make them so tasty?

  140. Eat more panthers says:

    Vegetarians are frail. I only eat meat that eats other meat–I don’t eat herbivores. For example: wolf, tiger, mountain lion, chupacabra… all of these are delicious. Chupacabras are hard to come by, but damn good grilling.

  141. Anonymous112316632 says:

    these posts remind me of a phrase i heard a few months back. “there are two types of people in this world… people who agree with me, and people who are just like Hitler”

  142. Veg says:

    RE: Anonymous124

    You obviously don’t understand what is involved in food composting. If you took 2 minutes to google it, you would realize that you’re talking out of your ass with zero knowledge of what you’re saying.

    Food that DOES NOT belong in a composter: Meat, fish, meat/fish waste, ANY DAIRY PRODUCTS (butter, milk, CHEESE, yogurt, etc.), oil/grease

    Why can’t you compost these food wastes?

    * They inbalance the otherwise nutrient-rich structure of other food and vegetation waste and breakdown slowly.
    * They attract rodents and other scavenging animals.
    * Meat attracts maggots.
    * Your compost bin will smell like complete shit.

    The vegan who wrote that post-it note was pissed because the pizza person threw it in the compost without any regard to what belongs in there. And, anyone who has worked in an office knows that there is a 99% chance there was a sign above the compost detailing acceptable food waste.

  143. Anonymously fatt says:

    These are some of the funniest posts I’ve ever read. For the tard that said that humans are not carnivorous…you’re an idiot. Go to the mirror, open your mouth, notice the incisors, then notice the canines. Strange that you, an herbivore, would have so much in common with all of earths carnivores. Weird.

    Oh and I too had sex with your daughter. Average is being generous. She didn’t want anything to do with my meat.

  144. alskighty says:

    There’s a place for all of God’s creatures. Right next to the garlic mashed potatoes.

  145. Voxlogue says:

    It’s a friggin miricle that these postings always turn in to a dork fist fight over the internet.

    It is as painful as watching reality television.


  146. LL says:

    I’m a “vegan once removed” … I eat only vegetarian animals.

  147. FictiveDream says:

    You guys suck at the internet. I can personally attest to the fact that meat is indeed bad for you. The last cat I had had rabies.

  148. hoy pocket says:

    the conversation about this is more entertaining than the notes themselves. Here’s an idea get over yourselves. Yes people have different views on what food they enjoy. Using those fun little for letter words or “conversation spice” sure does make people sound smart. Especially on the internet where you’re the toughest person you know. On second thought keep it up, we all need a way to feel better about ourselves while we wait for the end of the work day

  149. AL-B says:

    they said keep the bacon out the COMPOST!!! COMPOST is FOOD TRASH!!! who cares what goes in there, the plants that it’s gonna feed sure as hell dont!

  150. MEAT FTW!!! says:

    Hey, I have no problem with veganism, eat all the styrofoam you want. I’ma go kill me a buffalo.

  151. Ricky T. Bridge says:

    Meat is murder.
    Tasty tasty murder

  152. elite vegan says:

    vegans are better then you animal violators/torturers/killers/eaters but vegans still kill poor defenseless plants which is worse then killing an animal because they have no way of defending themselves. it is akin to killing babies.

    i do not kill any thing and eat only inanimate objects.

  153. Euphoria says:

    You guys are such losers, what do you care is someone is a vegan or not. Get over it.

  154. past vegan says:

    God put animals on the earth for science experiments not for eating!!!

  155. Akkula says:

    “For every animal you don’t eat, I will eat three.”

    And some promotion for my site since html is allowed
    Marussia Russian Supercar

    PS: This post was the shit ;D

  156. Akkula says:

    html is not allowed??!!

    YOU LIE!!!

    visit englishrussia.org anyway.

    Thank you, come again ^^

  157. McGeezacks says:

    Everyone in this stupid thread sucks, including myself because I wasted my time posting this stupid shit.

  158. Uhhuh says:

    The point is that you’re not supposed to compost meat because it takes to long to decompose naturally, and if the compost is outside (obviously not in this situation), attracts unwanted scavengers.

    Oh sorry, was that too rational for you morons?

  159. All Food Trash is Not Equal says:

    AL-B, most compost systems break down plant matter. Greasy meats attract vermin, hence, I’m guessing, the warning-like CARTOON OF A RAT.

    Maybe you just see that as another snack opportunity, but I’d rather not have critters in my office that leave disease-poop and chew wires, causing fires.

  160. Laughing says:

    “chew wires, causing fires”


  161. Poop trooper says:


  162. Me!!! says:

    I go hunting yearly and kill many more animals than I could possibly eat. I leave the rest out to be eaten by insects or scavenged. I do this to make up for all of the pussies who don’t eat meat because they want to save the animals. So who’s hands is the blood really on?… The answer is yours, the blood is on your hands.

  163. Neolith in the mist says:

    I shot a nice fat doe today and introduced my roomates son to the finer points of squirrel gravy yesterday. Meat composts just fine by the way flies and maggots are as good at composting as red worms it just offends the little girlie men to smell it. My heroes are the vultures and coyotes… though I do like to shoot at the coyotes with my AR from time to time. Grow some nuts boys, embrace the hunter gather lifestyle…. agrarians ruin this planet and fence everything in… it is a perversion of the natural order..haven’t you all read Ishmael?

  164. Jo says:

    Wow. All this anger at each other. Where is it coming from? You all don’t even know each other and you so full of venom on the stupidest issue. Reminds me of road rage… Everyone is so full of courage to spew at others when they are in their cars; and now here behind a computer. I would love to see all of you discuss these topics face to face. I bet the dialogue would be much different.

  165. bailey nugs says:

    anonymous.. u have way too much time ur an idiot get a life… worry about something that matters and not petty stuff, if ur a vegan ur probably a fag FYI

  166. Yogurt says:

    My ex girlfriend used to be vegan, she would let me do anything and everything except put my meat in her mouth. She said she doesn’t like the taste of meat… What the hell! So I dump her after a few months.

  167. Yummy says:

    Hi Honey, how was your day? Great, mine too. You know what? After all these years, I’m still madly in love with you. How about we go on vacation… To Vegas!!!!! What do you mean, “nah”. What’s wrong with Vegas??? What do you mean “it’s for sinners”???? Who the fuck are you??? How did you get into my fucking life? AHHHHHHHH!!!!

  168. Shane says:

    SRSLY WTF????

  169. BaconFuckingIsLife says:

    Fuck yeah it is. Vegans should all be required to run marathons, or starve. Either way they’d die.

  170. Meat-o-nator says:

    Yeah…about that vegetarian marathon running daughter…I also had sex with her and frankly I would rate her a tad below average.

    ps- She gave me gonorrhea…she said it was from not eating meat.

  171. FBGM says:

    buncha noobs ITT. Fuck bitches. Get money.

  172. chicken bone choker says:

    Me think Hilda may need to get layed.

  173. ROTFLMAO says:

    Good one!

  174. Ice Lover says:

    I used to bring a sandwich bag of ice and leave it on the counter. Some jackass thought it was funny to steal my ice and put water in the bag.

  175. MJ says:

    There was no ice maker where I worked and I like my soda on ice. So I would take ice out of my freezer, put it in a resealable sandwich bag and take it to work. I always put the sandwich bag in a grocery bag. Well, someone kept stealing my ice. Sometimes they’d take half and sometimes they’d take it all. I’d had enough. I got pickled okra and froze the juice from it in an ice cube tray. I took it to work in a separate sandwich bag, making sure I put the bag of good ice under the bag of okra ice. The stealing stopped!

  176. noahaction says:


  177. Gallice says:

    Congrats MJ! Thats better than only bitching around in postits!

  178. crazysquid says:

    I really never minded if someone stole my food out of the fridge. I guess that if someone is hungry enough to steal, then in a ways I am donating to the “Food Bank” and claim it on my taxes. Thanks for eating my $300.00 Ham and Cheese sandwich.

  179. crazysquid says:

    I can not trust a vegan, although if I were on a deserted island that had no food source, at least I wouldn’t worry about getting eaten.

  180. Binny says:

    nuttin’ for nuttin’, but vegans are pussies.

  181. Notta says:

    It’s funny how people get upset over an eating disorder.

  182. kitchen island shapes says:

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  184. crazysquid says:

    There is also the vitamin factor that “True Vegans” can not get that ONLY eating meat provides, and the human body must have. That is a certain B Vitamin (I am not sure which, It has skipped my mind because i do not worry about it because I am not a Wussy Vegan) that is essential to the human body. You CAN NOT get this in ANY vegetable. Any Animal (Humans are animals) that have “K-9″ incisors eat meat. That’s why God put them in their mouths. Unfortunately, he put them in Vegans mouths also, but skimped a little on the brains.

  185. Voice of Reason says:

    I find the vegans who claim that composting meat/dairy is not accepted to be truly idiotic. Following is a list of acceptable compostable items in the city of San Francisco:
    Food Scraps (anything that used to be alive)
    ,¢ï€  Bread, grains and pasta
    ,¢ï€  Coffee grounds
    ,¢ï€  Dairy
    ,¢ï€  Eggshells
    ,¢ï€  Fruit (pits and nuts too)
    ,¢ï€  Leftovers and spoiled food
    ,¢ï€  Meat (including bones)
    ,¢ï€  Seafood (including shellfish)
    ,¢ï€  Vegetables
    Here is the link for proof… I know you ignoramuses will want it:

    And by the way you lil Pussy Ass Vegan Bitches… Humans are Omnivores not Carnivores and certainly not Herbivores I think I learned that in the 3rd grade

    It seems your lack of protein I affecting your brain beans only go so far

  186. Charley Steen says:

    ROTFL that is priceless dude!


  187. RubyPanties says:

    Jodoal…when was the last time your vegetarian, over-exercising daughter had a menstrual cycle? Yeah, I thought so!

  188. Agent037 says:

    You guys are idiots …lmao

  189. underwhere says:


    Quit shteppin ohn me ballss

  190. Gourry says:

    Lame. Half of these are fake.

  191. Fo_Realz says:

    Your Mom is fake.

  192. Anonymoose says:

    her orgasm was fake…fuck your mom is hard to please

  193. Gourry mom says:

    Yes I’m Fake

  194. supermanlymangunowner says:


  195. Ducatis4 says:

    awsome name guy above me

  196. 50 cent says:

    fuck the guy above me.

  197. PITBULL says:

    Slip some rat poison in a decoy lunch, never know which one it is in will ya, you thieves! All it takes is one taker, doubtful anyone will be brave enough to try it again1

  198. A. Nell Fisher says:

    Gourry’s penis is fake.

  199. mr man says:

    Hey 50 cent. The guy is ABOVE you…that means he is fucking you! Oh shit who is above me? Kiss me you fool.

  200. Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum says:

    Where do you people work!? I can’t understand what kind of co-worker would grab someone elses lunch. I’ve worked in engineering firms for years now and have never had a problem with anyone touching my food or even heard of that happening.
    If you have a problem with someone taking your food a post-it note will not solve it, just get a lunchbox or a cooler and keep it at you desk.

  201. MNE says:

    hahaha…this was hella funny!….

  202. HEEHEE-TOO FUN! says:

    aPlateOfGrapes. Will you marry me…. and stop all the toying with the mice! Me luv-um some grapes topped with smart ass!

  203. aPlateOfGrapes says:

    Alas, I am married and have a kid.

  204. 0.Anon says:

    It’s almost humorous how the entire first page of comments is a reply to each others’ vegan vs. meat argument.
    My opinion? You eat what you eat. I eat what I eat.
    And we keep our offensive remarks of dietary habits to ourselves. Then maybe we could possible live our normal lives in ignorance of each others’ personal views on cows and carrots.
    It doesn’t matter whether meat eaters or vegans will die first. There are plenty other factors in the world that will kill us all before we even settle such a dainty issue.
    That’s right, keep watch for massive flaming comets.

  205. Unfather says:

    Probably the only other person in your city without taste buds.

  206. Anonymoose says:

    id like to know who keeps drinking my fucking amp…that shit costs 3 dollars…

  207. Flavors taste good! says:

    elite vegan, I love you!

    I personally I only eat animate objects. Got to get someone to tug on my veggies, make it look like its moving before I’ll eat it.

  208. Hypothetically Speaking (of course) says:

    Dear Vegan (why does that word look so much like vagina to me?),

    I am happy for your eating choice, but you just pushed your views on us. If we were intended to be vegan, why do we possess incisors? Why does our body crave animal protein? Why does meat taste so damn good.

    Since you apparently have all molars in your mouth, and don’t chew meat, would you mind sucking my fat cock?

    What a bitch….

  209. thx4lulz says:

    Thanks for the lulz

  210. Spock says:

    LOL, yes somtimes its fun to mess with the minds of the bigots or loonies. ;-) )))

  211. Spock says:

    What would happen if I asked a vegan to eat some chicken? And when he/she refuses I would promise to kill two chickens instead. What should he /she do? :-)

  212. gaping hole says:

    you blew my mind, dude. totally.

    i now have a brand new blunt object to swing at people i don’t like. next time i run into one of those pro-lifers, i’m gonna be like “HEY! if you don’t get an abortion, i’m gonna get TWO!!!”

    yeah, that’ll show’em.

  213. Foodfapper says:

    Mr. Rich Guy Eats in Restaurants Because He Has Teh PhD:

    If you were really smart, you’d eat food you had made, because then you would know what was actually in it.

    Secret sauce, my man. Enjoy!

  214. Klepto says:

    I remember in high school, some jackass with a master key to all the lockers kept stealing my lunch, along with several other people’s. I knew who it was. (Next parts kinda gross, I know…) So I got a tampon from my mom, made a nice big sandwich, put the tampon in it, and then smothered it all with plenty of ketchup. That idiot started to eat the sandwich without even looking to see what it was, got a bite of the ketchup covered tampon, and in his disgust, jumped up and back from the table cursing as the tampon fell out of his mouth. Everyone in the cafeteria saw it, and the laughter was uncontainable. Suffice to say, he didn’t steal anyone’s lunch again after that.

  215. MY Name here says:

    That is so much better than ex-lax brownies or anything else we thought of
    totally gross and totally perfect

  216. hankmurphy says:

    i work in a factory and store my lunch in the refrigerators. i have had plenty of food stolen and once, found someone using my dirty tupperware after i had eaten out of it. we have a supervisor who will sit next to your lunch and eat it when your not there.
    also im vegetarian and every day someone asks if im eating tofu (i usually am).

  217. Henry Hoffman says:

    If a group of beings from another planet were to land on Earth — beings who considered themselves as superior to you as you feel yourself to be to other animals — would you concede them the rights over you that you assume over other animals?

  218. DaveLovesBacon says:

    Don’t be retarded Henry, I do not eat any animals that are self aware.
    I do not feel I am superior to the animals I eat; I am superior to the animals I eat. Well…I am also superior to you, so perhaps I should eat you!! Being superior to an animal is not what makes it ok to eat it, the animal has to taste good also. How do you taste?
    I have no issue with Vegans right up till they start preaching to me about why I should not eat animals. Most of their reasons for not eating meat are so frickin stupid I want to scream. After reading several hundred of these hilarious posts, Henry’s retarded justification for not eating yummy animals finally got me to post.

    PS. If you eat lunch at work you are probably homeless and sponging off society!! Just kidding grape-boyMost of these morons apparently cannot read. Perhaps they are so malnourished from eating soy that they cannot properly interpret complicated sentences. Next time you vegans steal a lunch, take something with meat in it

    PPS. Ohand NEVER put meat or grease in a compost, though eggs are ok, especially the shells.

    PPPS. God said, “Quod Deus said permissum illic exsisto Volutabrum pro Bacon est vita

    Dave the Bacon Lover, lifetime member of PETA , People Eating Tasty Animals!!

  219. man o man says:

    I personally don’t have to deal with this kinda crap. I work from home drawing comic books.

    But I don’t care how underprivileged or desperate you are. How much of your soul do you have to forfeit to leave half-eaten pizza slices in a public fridge? Just seems to me that picking at the top of a co-worker’s muffin should be considered amongst the lowest and most despicable kind of behavior.

    Should these bottom feeders even be considered human? I think they should be placed in cages and studied like the vermin they are.

  220. MY Name here says:

    We almost talked the DARE officer to letting us use the purple explding dye packs
    that banks use to help us catch the (what we were sure of but could not
    prove) the one person that was eating our lunches.
    i guess it was not policy. We also thought of mouse traps, exlax brownies, and a lot of ohter fun things that helped us let off steam.

  221. Live@theAppollo says:

    i would just like to say thank you to everyone that posted on here making fun of vegans…the jokes made me laugh to the point of tears…i think there is enough on here to do a comedy central bit…look for it soon.

  222. A.Nonymous says:

    If God wanted humans to be Vegans S/He would not have given us variagated dentition. (You know. Molars. Incisors. etc.)

  223. KingRadical says:

    Or a requirement for animal-based proteins and essential amino acids.

  224. aPlateOfGrapes says:

    To quote an unknown source (because I’m too lazy to look it up): “If god didn’t want us to eat animals, He wouldn’t have made them out of meat.”

    Delicious meat…

  225. Marvin says:

    This is a nit but it bugs me: Do you understand the definition of “passive-aggressive”? There is nothing passive about these notes. Pure aggressive. Passive-aggressive behavior is defined as NOT doing something that causes someone else some pain.

  226. KingRadical says:

    They’re passive-aggressive because they’re post-it notes. There’s nothing more passive than leaving someone a note when you could just as easily confront the person.

  227. pwn yo face says:

    yea, it costs like… nine dollars to much!!! wait a sec…

    and yes BACON IS LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  228. HEHEHEHE says:

    This is some of the funniest stuff I have read in a LONG time!!! However, we should not kill animals for fun but for food… GAME ON!!!

  229. Fringe says:

    a great thing to do at work is bring in food that is booby trapped with laxatives and other nasty surprises, and leave it in the fridge. since you won’t be able to eat it, you will have to go out to eat, but anyone who takes the food will suffer

  230. mommakate says:

    This is fantastic! Best laughs of my day.

  231. WHARBLGARBL says:

    Jesus rebuttal FTW

  232. Hilda says:

    notes didnt work- so i had to post a LETTER to the troll who stole my food after i left the office in the evenings..


    Unless you are a member of F****L N*****- or have ASKED ME FIRST- you are not to touch MY belongings, in fact, you are not to step foot in my cubicle period. I underlined MY so that maybe you could grasp a concept you obviously hadn’t learned as a child- respecting other peoples property. It is just plain RUDE to touch what is NOT yours, which also makes you a THIEF- remind me to thank your parents for that one later.
    I am not the Goodwill, nor is there a “Poverello’ sign posted in my area. Take this note as a warning and keep your GREASY, SLIMBALL hands out of my stuff.
    So next time you feel entitled to anything contained within these premises’, why don’t you leave a few bucks so that I can provide you with the adequate nutrition that you fail to take responsibility in providing for yourself.
    I hope this note finds you well, and hopefully gives you an important life lesson that should have been instilled in your puny little mind as you were growing up.
    Do not mistake my kindness for ignorance, you know very well what my capabilities are if anyone dares cross me. You better hope I NEVER catch you with a trace of orange cheesy puff residue on your face.

  233. TrolLoL says:

    I’m a level 7 Vegan/Free-gan, i don’t eat anything that casts a shadow, or costs money.

  234. thanatos says:

    Veg-head or not, meat doesn’t go in the compost – not if you’re actually going to try and use it for compost. Leaving meat in the compost introduces a whole different batch of bacteria that are detrimental to the process.

    Off to eat a Bacon Double Cheeseburger Pizza now…

  235. Jasmith says:

    Vegas, shut up
    Meat eaters: same

    Just look at this shit and move on. Geez, what a waste of time.

  236. oswald says:

    Every time you choose not to eat meat and go for tofu, I’m going to stamp on a kitten.

  237. Tommy says:

    Well, I am a vegan and I ran a marathon this past summer and didn’t die :P Was quite exhausted and sore for a while after, though…

    I personally don’t care what people eat, it’s their body and their choice. I think the major issue is when people don’t respect other people, and both vegans and carnivores are guilty of this at times.

    Really, why get into an argument about what other people eat?