Explore Holy Taco

25 People With Horrible Fake Tans

Is it any surprise that this list is almost entirely comprised of Guidos and Guidettes? No. The answer is no. A loud, resounding, fist pumping NO.



154 Responses to "25 People With Horrible Fake Tans"

  1. Flip Washington says:

    This is the most offensive collection of blackface photos I’ve ever seen.

  2. FunnyMonkey says:

    YUCK!! Ok,… first, why do all of the women in here look like trannys? Especially the 7th up fron the bottom, eeeeeeeeeek! I think it’s awesome that these “guys” decide to give themselves bright orange tans, bleach blonde hair, perfectly sculpted eye brows, and wear more make up than their women. It makes it WAAAAY easier to spot douche bags from afar!

  3. Pook says:

    All of these were taken in New Jersey.

  4. Obama sucks says:

    i dont know what you assholes are talking about these guys look awesome

  5. nick says:

    idk, i think some of these aren’t all that hideous. yeah, some are, but still.

  6. Mr Obvious says:

    Why don’t you name it what it really is… 25 People from Jersey

  7. NinJay says:

    Wow same 2 guys in 4 and 8. One of them isn’t tan in 4 though. Someone gave in to the almighty tan pier pressure

  8. The RZA says:

    Yo man that shit is fucked up. Mutha fucka come rollin up in tha club lookin like that then ya best believe that INS or Method would straight up murder a bitch.

  9. Look here: says:

    25 People With Horrible Fake Tans or
    25 People With Horrible Fake Tans because they’re assholes?

  10. s3xt0y says:

    Could of just done another 25 douche bags lol

  11. Chubby says:

    Im never going to New Jersey. Ever.

  12. ST says:

    orange perhaps….

  13. juss_watever says:

    the most realistic tan is the last one

  14. dangitbobby says:

    no man, those guys down on the docks can be fuckin’ persuasive. when they start egging you on to spray that shit on yourself, forget about it.

  15. queeftard's retarded vaginal fart says:

    I’d like to suggest a future list: 25 People With Sharpie Marker Eyebrows.

  16. clementino says:


  17. gay bear says:

    I got a nice sloppy BJ from a young Italian man with spiky hair and a fake tan the other day, at the truck stop near the Meadowlands.

    He didn’t smell that great though…

  18. The RZA says:

    First of all I would just like to say as one man to another, offering to dick slap another man is well. . . gay. Second yes my good man I do indeed realize that these people are from New Jersey but I believe that if you would kindly look on a map you would realize that New Jersey sits dangerously close to the Slums of Shaolin. This locale,it should be duly noted, is where I and the rest of the remaining members of the Wu-Tang Clan currently reside. Third, I distinctly said that if they rolled up in a club, not my club, as you see there is a rather large difference. As I have aforementioned we are rather obviously members of a Clan and not a club as the name Wu-Tang Clan clearly states. In the future I would appreciate your consideration to look into the information that is available before making any further erroneous assumptions. If you have anymore complaints I would lastly like to point out to you good sir that you should most assuredly heed this dire warning, “Tha Wu-Tang Clan ain’t nuttin ta fuck with.”


    The current Wu-Tang Shogun
    The RZA

  19. gross says:


  20. Weird News says:

    What do people call these guys?
    Besides douche bags….

  21. norm says:

    why does Jersey suck so bad?

  22. Jewish guy says:

    fucking guido fags

  23. RodimusPrime118 says:

    Well, 23. I dont know where kerry is from, but i dont thjink its jersey. And the Oompa Loompas were from Loompaland.

  24. RodimusPrime118 says:

    25 People With Horrible Fake Tans because they’re assholes, all day.

  25. non guido from nj says:

    ill bet all these people are from new jersey

  26. non guido from nj says:

    bet you all of them are from jersey

  27. SimplyPut says:

    Thus is Jersey. Don’t go there. Just look at that third picture from the top. Holy fuck.

  28. JasonSNZ says:

    Reminds me of the song…

    I’m a big douche at the scottsdale bars
    at the scottsdale bars
    at the scottsdale bars


  29. notfoyou12 says:

    #16 is japanese ganguro girl, right?

  30. god says:

    Lets see, They are all new york Guido douche bags. Hey grab your balls and say mafia. Fag fucks

  31. Jimmy Woods says:

    Wow, that is just way too cool dude!


  32. lost in a vagina says:

    u prolly look like these tranny fag douches

  33. OHYA says:

    rza myyy ass niggaa ill eat your face

  34. Info.mate.yon says:

    Itialian version of the D-Bag

  35. Stick says:

    I always have to defend my state because of these fucking Bennys.

  36. Get a grip says:

    Dont make me d!ck slab you, or any one in your club. You sound as dumb as the people in those pictures look.

    And the dudes are all from jersey.

  37. Troll says:

    peer* pressure

  38. Idiot says:

    Search Guido Fake Tan in Google and you can rewrite this article

  39. Fludderby says:

    WTF…looks like they fell into a bucket of “I think I’m cool” Orange paint! Oh & and what’s with the”Don’t piss me off or I’ll spike you to death” hair? Not to mention that I can’t figure out which gender half of the D-Bags. are!?!

  40. BeArRuStLeR says:

    Picture 4, middle, rapist.

  41. HolyBurrito says:

    Plenty here in NYC (from Long Island/ Staten Island), would any other city, state or COUNTRY like to adopt some?

  42. cheezeman says:

    Reminds me of how I love not being a brobag douche… and lose a little faith in the women of the world as well.

  43. La Porte says:

    Picture number 19, the faces are switched.

    Very obvi.

  44. Serena says:

    Haha not but really wtf

  45. DarkAntiHero says:

    Never posted on a message board…before today. But just had to say… Sweet Jesus! Do these people not know what they look like??!

  46. Stot3 says:

    Wow these tans are so bad, they look like they’re dressed in blackface.

  47. lol says:

    haha I just founds out where guidoes get there looks and styles from. ZOOLANDER! It was in front of me of the whole time.

  48. Hey New Jersey says:

    New Jersey Douche Bags

  49. niftyclits says:


  50. Shrimp&WhiteWine says:

    B B Beaver Boys!

  51. KingKongWentToHongKongToPlayPingPongWithHisDingDong says:

    FIRRRRRST to post on page 3 … no matter what they can NEVER TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME!!! HAHAHAAAAA, there’s only a page 3 because of MEEEEEEEEEHH

  52. Pumpin fists says:

    I dressed like one of those douche-bags for halloween. The reception was fantastic.

  53. Be Funnier says:

    nothing says you’re cool like being tanned up with your dragon ball z hair cut and posing in front of a Christmas tree with with your friends while mom takes the pic

  54. personatwork says:


    This is why I am proud to be a hispanic. I don’t need no damn tan plus i live in place where it’s almost 100% suuny

  55. amore says:

    these people r def. from NY not NJ

  56. -gary- says:

    where do these fag ass dudes live? i dont know how any1 think that shitty “tan” and retarded spiked hair looks good.

  57. meatsweats says:

    only the ganguro & the oompa loompa are excused. John K is borderline….
    how do these people get laid? can anyone look at them with a straight face?? i don’t understand. are they imitating those tragic douche nozzles from the Gotti show that was on a few years ago?? are they from new jersey too? haha.

  58. Stick says:

    Benny bastards!

  59. Aimee says:

    Don’t they know they look stupid!!! And what’s up with the shopping cart in the second to last one, looks like they went to Walmart but forgot to leave the cart. Not just Quido’s and Quidette’s but Trailer Trash!

  60. ebaum says:

    one of them died in a tragic car accident. I think he hates everyone of you though,.

  61. Claynoidial says:

    seriously people lets start a KLAN to kill all guidos.

  62. Caleb says:

    Who are these people?

  63. NiceTry says:

    A lot of these are not even fake tans. Also a good chunk is of the same prom photos.

    Title should been something more like. “10 People with painted on tans”

  64. Yeano says:

    Apparently anyone with the ability to search google images can post a “Top ___ Pictures” article on this website

  65. mick2323 says:

    These people have their own race – the carrot people. They should only be allowed to reproduce with each other. They definitely should be on http://www.flopculture.com!

  66. haah says:

    number 20 looks like the girl and guy should switch faces

  67. steve says:

    90% of these are from that same hungarian website. partyphoto.hu

    its some club in budapest.

  68. guido4life says:

    yo yo yo don’t hate on us because we are the hawtest, ya hurrrd.

  69. lisa marie says:

    i was not aware that looking like a carrot was in style..why do people think that being orange and having hair that looks like an onion blossem is attractive..gah.

  70. Major Lolz says:

    Dude, if you look prettier than the chick you’re next to… well, figure it out, stupid ho. Sixth one up from the bottom.

  71. Shawn says:

    hahahahahahah. i’m from new jersey 19 years and i thought these were yearbook photos from my high school. thats right ass-holes.

  72. astrid says:

    My guess is that most of these winners are from the UK. Home of the Tan in a Can.

  73. CHART_ID_TK421 says:

    Kill them all before they pollute the gene pool… wait a second, is that a nazi in the middle of pic 4

  74. jgyi says:

    fake tans give me eye cancer. see you in court
    ha but the last one really got me too

  75. JEN says:

    the best part is that in every picture they think they look super hot.

  76. Kira says:

    All of those pics were most likely taken within 15 miles of my house… north jerz… what can i say

  77. helpnxt says:

    what the hell is the deal with all the guys hair as well???

  78. Anon Y. Mous says:

    Actually, two of the females with the horrible tans have an excuse for it. It’s a style in Japan(?). Ganguro.

  79. superfred says:

    shidt idk what gender that thing with the yellow tie is but I wanna fuck it’s brain out. I think I rather never find out what gender it is, oh fuck I just invented a scenario about it shit I think I might have just aquired an androgyny fetish if there is a thing like that anyway I wana fuck this thing with the yellow tie that what i wanted to say

  80. liquidsun says:

    They don’t look good with their Tan look.

  81. wtf is the world coming to?!?! says:

    What’s up with people thinking that they can fake tan? I’m hope (and I’m sure), they notice that it DOESN’T look natural. I mean, c’mon. Spray tans make them look orangey and the tanning bed is a quicker way to get skin cancer. Your welcome for giving you information, douchebags.

  82. wtf is the world coming to?!?! says:

    Oh, and the 6th picture from the bottom looks like they swapped faces. The dude has a chicks face, and the chick has a dude’s face.

  83. liquidsun says:

    Helping you to achieve a Perfect Tan

  84. Kimberly says:

    What grosses me more is the guys with waxed eyebrows, and lips that look like they are wearing pink lips gloss. Plus the people in that one picture look like they have crap smeered all our their face. Hopefully they know about the rules or ATM!

  85. Anonymousy says:

    the last one is the only one that looks natural

  86. whitegirl italian says:

    I’m sorry but these guys just look terrible. The look fake and just plain nasty with the fake tans. I would never date any guys like these men. Sick.

  87. Lance says:

    Wtf? I swear i want to punch all of these fuckers in the throat ):/

  88. Jahka says:

    Welcome to New Jersey…


  89. clo says:

    Im British and my boyfriends brother said about this guido’s thing…
    WHAT THE FUCK MAN you guys are fucked hahahaha,
    in Britian we have chav’s goths, you guys have capri-sun squirted at your face, haha i love seeing this post some more,
    You look like N.W.A haha not the group. hahaa.

  90. dfdfdfdfdf says:


  91. Andrew Reese says:

    ya got me with that last photo

  92. bobaloo says:

    omg, an oompaloompa…

    that is funny

  93. sTinky says:

    Tan overboard! = http://bit.ly/5WWtt

  94. Clyde says:


  95. Philosopher Part 2: Bigger and Blacker says:

    do these people own mirrors?

  96. gross says:

    Here here

  97. lunchboy says:

    or is it “hear, hear!”

  98. big black says:

    yall some dumb looking fools keep shit 100 that shit aint playa workout still get knocked out

  99. Alfred says:

    Hear here!

  100. Takashi Akashi Takahashi says:

    What the f@#$ is with the kissing faces?

  101. Melanie says:

    I have no idea what’s going on.

  102. office jerk says:

    zoolander – “blue steel” (or “magnum”)

  103. yourmybitchnow says:

    because u suck u fugly ho

  104. KnuckleDraggingCromag says:

    No, they were doing “La Tigra”…

  105. gnarbuckets says:

    you idiots, that’s Ferrari.

  106. Summer's Eve says:

    Too many carrots will do that to you. Although that still doesn’t explain the enema face.

  107. akore says:

    the guy in the 5th pic looks like a glazed turkey/chicken

  108. dp says:

    god bless america, i hate tools

  109. Anonymous1 says:

    hahahah all bs comes from america.

  110. Psuedonym says:

    Sadly enough, that picture is legitimately Japanese. It’s called ganguro. Just as sickly and disgusting as the rest of this crap.

  111. yourmybitchnow says:

    what if i told you i could get you rich quick?

  112. NotFromTheUS says:

    yes, because everything comes from the US.

  113. Anonymousppppppppppppp says:

    i dunno if you guys noticed the ganguro girl in with the guido slop but if memory serves me correctly, she’s fapanese.

  114. hate tools says:

    this is obviously from america. i dont think guidos exist overseas. im american fyi

  115. A-non-e-mouse says:

    well the one photo is branded with a domain name that ends in .hu, which is hungary’s ccTLD. so it’s entirely likely some of them are from europe

  116. nutbuster says:

    i don’t get it. Do they think that looks good??

  117. Random guy says:

    Yes… (sigh)… yes they do.

  118. uliaulia says:

    no, it’s a joke. just like juggalo culture.

  119. a wooden stake through lady gaga's heart says:

    that is just creepy

  120. cubs muehlenberg says:

    fuck you, philosopher.

  121. a wooden stake through lady gaga's heart says:

    mellow out bitch

  122. philosoraptor says:

    people, people … let’s not lose sight of the true lesson here, which is FUCK YOU, PHILOSOPHER.

  123. yourmybitchnow says:

    f&*ck you philosoraptor fergert. go get owned by a little faggot dino

  124. RodimusPrime118 says:

    hahaha, mellow out bitch had me dying, i dont even know why. Maybe its the use of a funny word, bitch. hahaha

  125. Apfelbaum says:

    are you 12?

  126. mr. roboto says:

    is that boygroup photo in front of a christmas tree?
    or just a gay “menage a trois” celebrating christmas…

  127. Angus says:

    It’s fuckin’ Christmas, yo. Straight up.

  128. Anonymous 872co says:

    What does gay have to do with it?

  129. Name The Garels says:

    Is that the same guy in photo #4 and #8?!?

    These people have to be joking right? No one actually looks like these guys do they? What’s with the huge spiked-hair look coming out of Jersey these days? Not that anything good has ever come out of Jersey, but the Jonas Brothers are ruining this country. There it is, I’ve said it.

    Also, holytaco.com team, you guys are great. Great work here. Check out our site some time and let us know what you think. Publicly stating that it sucks is cool by us – all press is good press, right? RIGHT?!?!?


  130. kingdingaling says:

    WOW! just checked out namethegarels.com, that shit is stupid what grade are you guys in?
    you guys hang out in porta pottys and copy all the dumb shit written on the walls.
    you guys suck rotten philosopher fag douche ass!
    don’t waste precious masturbatory time looking at this site.
    good press, right? assholes.

  131. Stick says:

    That just fucking north Jersey. That shit doesn’t fly down here.

  132. Eatme says:

    Yeah That was a waste of 2 mins!!! Gayest website ever!!!

  133. Joyce says:

    tacky tacky tacky,,,,cheap,cheap,cheap

  134. Feri says:

    LAst photo is from the classic movie ‘Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory” from Henry Selick. Cool!

  135. holex says:

    the orange man on the last picture is from the movie: charlie and the chocolate factory (original with gene wilder).

  136. Rizwan says:

    Welcome to the Garden State! Aka– Douche bag state..

  137. Shorti says:

    Wow 4&8 and 3&10. These guys must be pretty proud to be on the top 25 list TWICE!

    A good spray tan wont turn u orange…these ppl need to find better tanning salons with workers who will say hey, YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT! STOP TANNING

  138. DT says:

    The first picture is of twins that live in Aarhus, Denmark. They are called the Lion twins because of the hair. In the neighbouring country, Sweden, every second male looks like this. It’s a nation of sissies!

  139. Perfect Tan says:

    You can try this Self Tanning products inorder to achieve a Perfect Tan not like this it’s horrible fake tans.

  140. Anonymouso says:

    not 25, it’s the same idiot on at least 6-7 psc. creepy….

  141. sd says:

    amazingly, all these people, sans john jerry, are from new jersey.

  142. House jerk says:

    Nah, that orange one with white around his eyes is Scotland’s male barbie doll, I remember laughing at him long ago. MEN please, please have eyebrows, getting them plucked makes you look fruity as hell!

  143. Kristin Nicole says:

    This has to be fake right? This is another reason I don’t try these types of tans. LOL

  144. The Dirty Dirty says:

    It seems like 23 of these pictures come from one state: New Jersey.

  145. Zach Lonstein says:

    What’s wrong with that? I like my tan.

  146. Anonotan says:

    That shit is $o Ca$h.

  147. Trigly says:

    Haaaaaaaaa I think that 20 is my favourite. The dude looks more like a chick than his chick.

  148. The Righthand of Justice says:

    I seriously wanna fight ever last one of these fucking douchebags.

  149. wrap up says:

    you better wear gloves or you’ll get that orange crap all over your hands!!!

  150. MissB says:

    why are these people SO tan?? ahaha! don’t they know they look ridiculous?

  151. Stick says:

    BENNYS, FUCK OFF AND DIE. You’re polluting the state.

  152. Sick says:

    What the fuck is that shit.
    90% of this is fake, come on.

  153. Stick says:

    Fine, I’ll just have to stop. It seems none of you have actually been to NJ.

  154. Tom Oatmeal says:

    Hahaha – the oompa loompa at the end was perfect.