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25 Sex Toy Names We Really Need

Fleshlight is a finely named product, as are Rub My Duckies and Butt plugs, because they are plugs for your butt and that seems an accurate moniker.  But if you have to name sex toys, you may as well have some fun with it.  The world doesn’t need another dong named “the Hammer” because that’s uninspired.  Here, however, are some inspired ones.

  1. The Wrath of McCrotchsky
  2. The Butt Propeller
  3. Dame Edna’s Vibro-Suck Nerf Love Doll
  4. The Ham-Scented Jiggle Wand
  5. Porkins’ Porker (endorsed by Star Wars’ Porkins)
  6. Judge Judy’s Juicy Jelly Roll
  7. Squirtle’s Rod of Madness
  8. Gape-o-Matic 5000
  9. The Salivating Salami
  10. Satan’s Forefinger
  11. Diablower
  12. The Cramp Ramp
  13. Grundle and the Dirty Lasso
  14. Gobble Hobby
  15. Adam’s Bomb
  16. The Amsterdam Plunger
  17. Blackbeard’s Special Peg Leg
  18. The Syrupy Waffle
  19. Engorged Steven Tyler
  20. 6 Revolutions of the French Nanny
  21. X: The Void
  22. The Obsidian Comptroller
  23. The Rideable Vertigoat
  24. Hans the Handsome Haberdasher with Deep Probing Action
  25. The Unholy Taco

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