25 Sexy New Names for Kepler 22b

So Science has given us Jack Lalanne Juicers and now a second Earth.  Indeed, somewhere in the great beyond lies Kepler 22-b, an earth-like planet with delightful 22 degree Celsius weather and, you know, nothing else earth-like about it.  It’s more than twice the size of Earth and no one knows if it even has a surface or if it’s just a ball of gas, but shut up, because it’s room temperature there, and what more do you want?  We want a better name.

Kepler is probably a great guy, but naming a planet after him or her is arrogant.  This new Earth, which is only 600 light years away, needs a flashy new name if people are going to want their ancestors to visit, many, many, many generations from now.  Would you rather go to Awesometown or the Kepler Dump?  It’s a no brainier.  And in that spirit, here’s 25 sexy new names for Kepler 22-b.

1. Ninja Planet XXX
2. Tattooine
3. Studio 54
4. Earthier
5. World of Wonder
6. World of Warcraft
7. Dat Ass
8. Starbucks Presents Earth 2
9. Flo Rida
10. Planet Hollywood
11. Florence’s Machine
12. Cool World
13. Scotland
14. Astro-Detroit
15. Buttf*ck Nowhere
16. Oregon
17. Flavor Country
18. Steven Seagal’s Dark Territory
19. Narnia
20. The Octagon
21. Bruce
22. Disney World But For Real This Time
23. Outback Steak Planet
24. Jersey Shore
25. Kepler 22-a