This video has been out a couple of days now and nothing you say or do with it makes it any less disturbing, nor does it become any less obvious upon multiple viewings that this man has probably “accidentally” brushed against a dog’s ballsack more than is acceptable in our society. All that aside, here are 25 things even more offputting.
1. Making love to Danny DeVito 2. Tony Robbins asking you to taste his teeth. 3. Cheese-flavored lube 4. Finding your mom’s vibrator in your room 5. A vein in your chicken McNugget 6. Finding out the guy who gave you a prostate exam was actually an escaped mental patient 7. Jheri curls 8. Swimming in a leech-filled pond 9. Having a make out party with the ladies from The View. 10. Adult babies 11. The smell in the home of anyone who’s been a guest on Maury 12. Amish dirty talk 13. Having to sit next to a guy, who clearly hasn’t changed his sweat pants yet this week, on a Greyhound bus 14. Sitting in a quiet room with Joaquin Phoenix 15. Bikinis for men 16. People who suck on chicken bones 17. Shirtless Carrot Top 18. Carrot Top in a shirt 19. This shit
20. The eerie way the Disney Corporation whores out its underaged talent 21. Sex toys modeled after animal parts 22. Tranny hookers who don’t shave 23. That gross pee that forms on top of the mustard 24. Ryan Seacrest 25. Japan