25 Things to do on Spring Break when you don’t get Spring Break

Spring Break is the domain of children and young adults whose chief responsibilities include beer and tits.  Man, that’s awesome.  But this will only work for a few years after which time you’re going to have to think up a new Spring Break plan of action.  Maybe you need to consider that this year as, realistically, even a 24 or 25 year old at Spring Break is getting a little pervy.  Here’s 25 things you may want to consider doing instead of heading down to Florida or Mexico.

1. Flash yourself your own boobs
2. Margarita bathtub for one
3. Watch Weekend at Bernie’s 1 and 2
4. Bring tapioca and ginger beer to work and have a Girls Gone Mild party
5. Shave a festive spring pattern into your pubes
6. Who’s the Boss marathon because who is the boss?  You’re the boss.
7. DIY body shots, aka pour vodka in your own belly button and watch TV
8. Light switch rave in the bathroom
9. Watch that beach volleyball scene from Top Gun to get your week’s worth of shirtless, sporting homoeroticism
10. Have a Hot Pocket in the yard.
11. Recreate rooming with buddies by pissing all over your own bathroom
12. Buy a Fleshlight, name it Sierra, saturate it with Smirnoff Ice and play a recording of someone crying when you’re done with it
13. Scream “woooooooooo!” after every menial task you accomplish
14. Jaegar Bombs in your lunch box
15. Thoroughly stain your own mattress
16. Post pics of yourself vomiting in the yard on Facebook
17. Wear short shorts on the bus
18. Disappoint your parents
19. Watch some internet porn, but the kind that costs you about 15 drinks and then never actually gets you off
20. Ensure the only solids you consume are pizza, tacos and Skittles
21. Buy a t-shirt bazooka to bombard the neighbors
22. Workplace panty raid
23. Try to not remember anything that happened come Sunday
24. Try to lose a friend at a brothel
25. Get into a fight with some asshole from a rival fraternity