Spring Break is filled with booze, and…well, it’s just filled with mostly booze. But there are certain things you can come to expect about Spring Break, that don’t happen generally during other vacation periods. Here are four of them.
1. Someone Yells "SPRING BREAK!"
No other holiday or gathering does this happen. Nobody screams out “LAAAABOR DAAAAAYYY!” Usually “Spring Break” is screamed as a direct result to someone being challenged to do something super retarded, like “dude, I dare you to snort a line of salt off that chick who looks like a fat Anthony Keadis’s titty.” Then once the challenge has been met; “SPPPRRRRIIIIING BREEEEEAAAAK!”
2. You Have A Heart To Heart With A Maintenance Person At The Hotel You’re Staying At
It’s 4 in the morning, and no one understands you but Javier, the 57 year old man who’s fixing the ice machine near your room. Even though when you asked him “Dude, what, dude, what the, dude why do you think there’s so many bitches in this world (look at his name tag) Javier?” and he answers with “I don’t know my friend.” You are convinced you and he are getting to the bottom of life’s problems.
3. You Purchase A Piece Of Local Merchandise Made Of Ceramic
Do you need a three foot tall ceramic tweety bird that’s smoking a joint? No, but when you’ve had eleven Coronas, when you see it you react like Indiana Jones uncovering something rumored to have belonged to Jesus. It’s not until you pack your suitcase back up that you realize, “where the f*&k is this going to fit. It’s either this Ceramic Bart Simpson riding his skateboard and giving the double middle finger, or it’s my underwear.”
4. You Find Yourself In A Shower With More Than Four People
When you’re drunk, you’re usually looking for the quickest way to see someone naked, and there’s no quicker way than going in the shower. But how do you get a girl to make that leap? You can’t just ask her to take a shower with you, so in your drunken logic, you somehow figure it will be less awkward if you ask several people to shower with you. Usually this suggestion is brought up by first announcing how intoxicated you are, then suggesting showering, that way if people are creeped out, you can blame your drunkenness. “I am so f*&king wasted right now. We should all just like, get in the fuggin shower right now! Spring breaaaaaaaak!”