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5 Actors Fired for Hilariously Sad Reasons

etting the boot

No one likes getting fired, it’s a bit of a kick in the teeth.  However, if someone else gets fired, well then that’s some juicy gossip stuff right there.  And if a celebrity gets fired, then it’s just funny.  Really.  Don’t feel bad, these people make a lot of money.  They’ll be just fine.

Megan Fox for Hitler Comments

fox

Michael Bay returns like a bout of the herpes this summer with yet another Transformers movie, despite the fact that the last one happened exactly the way you remember it.  Still, someone wanted to bank on a third movie so Shia and crew are all back.  Well, almost all back – the only reason you sat through part 2, Megan Fox, is notably absent.  The reason?  No, it’s not because of her terrible, terrible acting – no one needs to act in a Michael Bay movies.  It’s because she let loose on Mr. Bay himself during interviews.

Now the story seems simple enough – actress insults director, director fires actress, but it actually didn’t go down that way.  Fox, on a bit of a rant, compared Bay to Hitler.  Curiously, Bay didn’t seem to mind this at all.  However, if you watched the credits for the Transformers you may have recognized another name in there – Steven Spielberg.  And Spielberg doesn’t cotton to Hitler jokes.  It may have something to do with the Shoah Foundation that he founded that is solely dedicated to remembrance of the Holocaust.  Yeah, don’t make Hitler jokes around Steven Spielberg.

Eric Stoltz for Seriousness

gnger kid

Once upon along, long time ago, Eric Stoltz was cast as Marty McFly in Back to the Future.  Eric who?  Indeed. Probably not the first time someone’s said that.  In fact, Stoltz’s entire career has been based on mediocre, kind of forgettable performances in movies .  Sure, some people like him, but some people like Jersey Shore, doesn’t mean anything.

It’s possible Back to the Future could have changed Stoltz’s whole life, rocketing him to the fame that Michael J Fox achieved, but Robert Zemekis didn’t see it happening because Eric was too damn serious and the movie was supposed to be a comedy.  You have to assume that they at least spoke to Stoltz about this on set once or twice too and he just wasn’t able to get a grasp on the character.  To further bolster this point, watch Stoltz in anything he’s ever done and notice how he’s almost always the same guy.  Quentin Tarantino may have slipped him some crack to help enhance his role in Pulp Fiction, but other than that, he’s the same sad sack that made the Fly II such a turd.  Well, that and the script.  What a shitty movie.

Ryan Gosling for Being Fat

young hercules

In most fields of work, getting fired for being fat would lead to some kind of lawsuit, but film is a visual medium and you can’t expect to be cast in a role you don’t fit.  It’d be like a black man being cast as Ralph Kramden or something.  Wait, what?

Gosling was cast in the film The Lovely Bones.  His character, eventually played by Marky Mark minus his funky bunch, was the grieving father.  So Gosling figured he’d be a bit of a tub and took to drinking melted Haagen-Dazs when he was thirsty, which is at once a sign of supreme dedication to your craft and also disgusting.  However, when he showed up on set, director Peter Jackson was heard to remake “Fat fat fatty fat fatty fatty fat fat” while pointing Gosling out to the rest of the crew.  Then he fired him.  Take that.

Lindsay Lohan  for Sucking

Once upon a time, there was a super hot chick named Lindsay Lohan who was popular and well-liked. Then one day, the evil monster Drunken Shenanigans came to town and gobbled her up whole, leaving behind a semi-retarded clone of Lindsay that proceeded to utterly ruin her entire career and then her life.  It’s still lurking around corners and under shrubs and will occasionally come out to scare school kids who get to close to its property where its ankle bracelet keeps it securely rooted in place.

After a three year absence from film, the suitable length of time to beg forgiveness for making I Know Who Killed Me, Lindsay tired to make a comeback in the movie The Other Side.  Rumor has it, however, that the people funding the movie decided that it would be easier just to jam their money up each other’s asses if they wanted to get rid of it that badly and it wouldn’t cause the potential liability of Lindsay driving through any sets or stealing people’s jewelry, so they opted to let her go.

Gary Busey for Being Insane

Times are tough for one-time non-insane person but current very insane person Gary Busey.  Nowadays he’s a walking meme and a bit of a latter day sideshow, but he does  have an impressive movie career behind him – dude was in Predator 2.  With action star Danny Glover.  Action star!  Anyway, point is, Gary Busey used to be an actor.  And now?  Well, next paragraph.

Scrambling for crumbs like a deranged, large-toothed pigeon, Busey was recently cast in the sure-to-be-epic Mansion of Blood.  As you know, all “of Blood” movies have turned out to be quite awesome including Bordello of Blood, Streets of Blood and Ruby’s Bucket of Blood.  In this latest Blood of-ing, Busey was someone or other in a haunted house while people keep dying or whatever.  Honestly, you know you don’t care and neither does anyone else.  Point is, Busey is said to have engaged in more than his fair share of bizarre on set behavior which culminated in him making inappropriate comments to an actress, which got him fired.  What were the comments?  We can only guess, but a good guess probably includes something about fish scales and enemas.

5 Responses to "5 Actors Fired for Hilariously Sad Reasons"

  1. sloth says:

    Holy shit that was hard to read. Too many typos.

  2. DOLOMITE says:

    And Spielberg doesn’t cotton to Hitler jokes.

    doesn’t cotton to Hitler jokes.

    doesn’t cotton

    cotton

  3. DonkeyXote says:

    “Scrambling for crumbs like a deranged, large-toothed pigeon” hahahaha