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5 Amazingly Embarrassing Corporate Songs

5. WE BUILT THIS STARBUCKS – JEFFERSON STARBUCKS

We Built This Starbucks – Watch more free videos

If you’re going to write a song to get your employees psyched up to sell some coffee, don’t make it a parody of the worst song ever written.

Best lyric: It’s another Funday/With the deals we land/Licensees have got the venue/(Ohhhhhoahhwwhoaow)/And we bring the braaaand!

4. WE WORK HARD FOR YOUR MONEY – MINDSHARE

We work Hard for your money – Watch more free videos

Imagine getting the memo that your company’s executives thought it would be a good idea to write a team-building song and that it was mandatory that all employees had to be in the video. Then imagine the memo saying that you had to sing a version of Donna Summer’s “She Works Hard For The Money” except with lyrics about how great you treat your clients. Then imagine that you’re not imagining this.

Best lyric: A people’s business that’s what it is/Research creative and digital/Creating value/So meet our wonderful team

(Please note that it doesn’t even rhyme)

3. ERNST & YOUNG – OH HAPPY DAY

Ernst and Young make it a happy day – Watch more free videos

This one definitely wins the award for having the corporate world’s longest song with the fewest lyrics. Somehow they make this song go on for well over four minutes, while only using about six words throughout the whole thing.

Best lyric: Break it down/Happy/Happy day/Ernst & Young/Better way/Happy/Happy day/Ernst & Young/Better way/Happy/Happy day/Ernst & Young’s a better way

2. JIM DUBOIS & ETHAN CHANDLER – ONE BANK

Bank of America U2 Cover – Watch more free videos
The guy I really feel bad for is the guitarist in this video. No one knows if he just got stuck in this video because he was the only one who knew how to play guitar in his department. Now he’s known as the “douche playing guitar in that video with the douchebag singing about his bank.”

Best Lyric: Have you come to meet Lea McGee/Have you heard about Michelle Shepherd?/She’s leading the team in the Northweast.

1. BRUCE SERVICEPACK & THE VISTA STREET BAND – ROCKIN’ OUR SALES

Bruce ServicePack and the Vista Street Band – Watch more free videos

Who the fuck are these people?

Best lyric: If they’re CEO’s laptop gets ripped off by some thief/There’s no worries with BitLocker/The data’s secure and that’s a big relief

Honorary mention: The part where the two guys show up (at the 2:38 mark) and say “Microsoft sales team rocks! And we’re gonna keep rockin’ with SP1″ would’ve won best lyric, but I wasn’t sure if it was technically a lyric since they weren’t singing.

BONUS SONG
NICK DEAN, KRISTIAN VANDEMARK AND MIKE ST. PIERRE – EXPECT MORE WITH QUEST

Sent in by Shawn.

5 Responses to "5 Amazingly Embarrassing Corporate Songs"

  1. Run N. Gun says:

    I like how the guy playing the CEO is completely sold on windows vista by just looking at the pretty pictures on the box. “Whaaaaat!? Vista’s boxes are shinier than XP’s? Upgrade to faster and shinier boxes now!”

  2. Pratik says:

    You need the video of Steve Ballmer shitting himself out of sheer joy on stage at that Microsoft conference. There’s something about a fat bald man freaking out in front of a crowd that makes me realize how much worse my life could be.

  3. bigwinner says:

    I wish every Fortune 500 corporation had a theme song, just like wrestlers do.

  4. Shawn says:

    Here’s a funny one for your collection: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uJLtvxEtv0

  5. Tintagel says:

    THIS is the worst marketing music video evah… WARNING – some things you can’t Un-See.

    MS-DOS 5 Rap: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmEvPZUdAVI