The western world is torn between two extremes right now – extreme good health and not giving a shit. Those of us who don’t give a shit celebrate this with the love of bacon, with Epic Meal Time and with Scotch. Those concerned with health avoid gluten, run a pre-determined number of miles each day and may actually know what their blood pressure is. This is all fine and good but the problem arises when, quite without warning, these healthy, wonderful people go from looking vital and attractive and nice and normal to looking like vein-riddled beef jerky nailed to a wooden skeleton.
Far be it from us to set any standards for beauty, or what a person should do to make themselves feel good, but there comes a time when you go from striving for physical perfection to becoming a Batman villain. And so here’s our list of one time models who have taken their quest for physical perfection off the track and onto a country back road.
Not so long ago, Denise Milani was one of the most downloaded women on the internet. She even got featured on Holy Taco in the past, which is super high praise because we’re very discerning. Once, we found some chicken nuggets in the break room that were sitting out, and chose not to eat them. Oh yeah.
From the late 2000’s up through early 2011, Milani was the gorgeous brunette who looked like she probably never needed a life jacket that you saw on every single men’s site. And then she decided to give body building a spin because why not? This is why.
Sure the bronzer is artificial to accent muscle definition so saying she looks like Peking Duck would be pointless, but from just below the breasts to just above the hips she looks like Carl Weathers. Action Jackson is awesome and all, but he’s about as feminine as Carl Weathers.
Jodie Marsh is one of those people categorized as a glamour model. Or she used to be. Back in the day she was in magazines like FHM, Zoo and Playboy and she also trainwrecked her way through various reality TV shows in the UK. She was kind of like the UK version of Lindsay Lohan, only with bigger boobs.
Sometime in the late 2000’s, Marsh decided being kind of a vacuous boob rack wasn’t a fulfilling occupation and got into bodybuilding. Then she became something akin to a Wraith from Stargate Atlantis.
Not so long ago, Kitten was a porn star who specialized in humping people on camera, as porn stars are wont to do. This was not meant to be for long as Kitten ventured into the world of competitively becoming huge and ungainly, and also cut her hair, to become a ripped up Grace Jones looking lady who could probably punch my face off just for writing this.
If you were on the internet a few years ago, and mildly perverted, you probably heard about Vida Guerra and her butt. She achieved internet fame for being a girl with a respectable heiny and, overall, being pretty hot. You know what happened, so let’s look at the pics.
We’re going to be honest here, Vida doesn’t look all that bad – you can’t grate cheese on her stomach and it looks like most of her veins are still inside her body, which is as it should be. The only real point of concern here is that it looks like a family of sub dermal parasites are currently travelling up between her breasts in that after pic.
You can say he’s not a model, but I say look at that face. He could have modeled. He could have done anything.