3. Rod Blagojevich
The Rodster went from being a no-name nobody governor to the poster boy for corruption and blow drying when he allegedly attempted to sell Obama’s senate seat to the highest bidder.
Likely Cause of Death:
There’s a good chance that a lot of high-powered people in Chicago are worried that Rod’s going to say some things that could bring others down with him. High powered people know people who can make “accidents” happen. And since his hair is clearly a weakness, I wouldn’t be surprised if Blago “accidentally” used this shampoo.
2. Axl Rose
Paler, fatter and braid-ier, W. Axl Rose finally released “Chinese Democracy” this year to a resounding chorus of, “Hey, remember when we all used to love hair metal? Yeah, that was kind of a mistake.”
Likely Cause of Death:
The failure of “Chinese Democracy” will be too much for him to take. The strain and mental exhaustion of realizing no one cares about Guns N’ Roses anymore will cause Axl to slip into coma, taking him out of the media spotlight where he will die 15 years later.
1. Karl Malden
The man has been in tons of classic movies like “On the Waterfront,” “A Streetcar named Desire,” and “Patton.”
Likely Cause of Death:
The man is also 96 years old. We’re pretty much just playing the odds on this one.
Honorable Mentions (Or, People We Couldn’t Put On The List Because They Were Too Obvious, Not In Good Taste, Or Because The Secret Service Might Pay Us A Visit)
Amy Winehouse
Patrick Swayze
Barack Obama
Pete Dougherty
Courtney Love
Owen Wilson
OJ Simpson
Stephen Hawking
Farrah Fawcett
That guy in the wheelchair on "Celebrity Rehab"
Come to think of it, everyone on "Celebrity Rehab"
Courtney Love & Muppet Sexual Assault
Playboy’s Big Dance March Madness Bracket Challenge
GeeZ…. we would have NEVER gotten through this without a brilliant,and remarkable mind like yours,explaining everything in here to us.Did you call your Mom to show her your reply?Go ahead! I’ll bet you’ll get a cookie.
Your FACE is stupid Brenda.
Ozzy Osbourne anybody?
Artie Lange…He will overdose sometime this year I am sure of it!!!!
Uh…if Rose falls into a coma and dies in 15 years, he won’t actually die in 2009. Pick another celebrity or make a prediction that actually fits the title of your post.
I know a stripper named Lard Butter.
more:
~Steve-O: poisonous snake bite on the testes
~Porn Star Mary Carey: Jump off a building
~Spencer Pratt: bar-fight (i got this on my death pool)
~Miley Cyrus: creepy stalker.
Good god, what the fuck is wrong with you? Wishing or predicting someone else’s death? People you don’t even know?
You should be ashamed of yourselves.
Genius for: Come to think of it, everyone on “Celebrity Rehab”
Wishful thinking on that last one, eh?
i want the jacksons to live forevvvvvvver.especially tito.he’s uber classy,killing his ex-wife dee-dee..he’s the most stable of them all. and by stable-i mean serial killer.
Here’s to going 0-5 again this year!
I’m hoping Mr Maldin lives many more years….if he’s got good health.
I like the way you think…..
Jesus, he’s that old school magician, right?
What about Artie Lange?
right on.
what about steve-o?
No-one forces you to read it you arsetard!
Don’t be a smartass.
Alrite. We can all just write an E-mail and tell them to put YOU up there.
Jesus? Who dat?
Your an Idiot….this site is not wishing for anyone to die, just saying based on behavior, circumstance, position in life or a combination, the likelihood of them dying…if you cannot read or at least read the meaning of an article then don’t comment…
no,i just hope somebody smudges bam margera out.he stinks like meat and cheese,and not good meat and cheese.he jumped the shark a loooong time ago.what a fuck-bag.okay,thanks for letting me vent,send me a bill.
It can’t be THAT bad Brenda,you’re in here just like the rest of us.You’re not just going to sit there and condemn the folks who add a little light hearted humour are you? Maybe you’re just hoping I type something that will reveal my true identity in hopes of making love with me? I can see through your little games.:o)
Joe Paterno, his deal with the devil has to be up soon.
My vote goes to Bam Margera, im thinkin one of his friends goes ape shit and chop chop
yo chill out kid this site is amazing a gud laugh never hurt any1… and thats the price you pay for being a celebrity so HA! lolz
why dont you shut up!!!!!!!!!!1 whoever likes this site is a big piece of ……..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
baba booey
Ditto on Artie Lange. Should be #1!
I agree, wishing or predicting the deaths of strangers is shameful, you should only wish or predict the death of people that you know personally. However, I also feel that using the “F” word and taking the lords name in vain are shameful too.
Who’s Pete Dougherty?
Also: Pete Doherty should probably be on that list.
LOL i love how obama is on the bottom list.
I think we all know why he is going to die.
What about Ozzy or Phyllis Diller either one of them could kick off at any moment. I also think it’s great that Obama is on there because we have plenty of tweeked out gun toting redneck fucks out there that will try like they did in Tenn.
Great list, even the honorable mentions. Paul Deen will be responsible for plenty more than her own death, and we’ll love every bacon egg and cheese donut burger along the way.
He’s in Celeb Big Brother in the UK this year – if he died in there…
He seems the most sane of the lot, but tbh, they’ve dredged up some obscure Jackson sibling again. Also, did they all have the same nose surgery to try n make Michael’s less noticeable if they move in a crowd?
News flash. Pete “Dougherty” is actually spelled Doherty. Dougherty…I mean…lol…I suppose you have to blame the English way of pronouncing it. It’s an Irish name and it’s pronounced “Doh-her-tey”, not “Dockerty” as they say it.
Indeed. Why, I only read these gossip sites so I can have something about which to complain. Never to have some sort of vicarious thrill. And the grammar? Horrible. Like starting a sentence with a conjunction. I pray for your souls to my Lord Jesus every night.
Abe Vigoda obvious omission?
That’ll be a breach birth FOR SURE! Hasselhoff’s head is already UP HIS OWN ASS.
I hear Uncle Fidel isn’t feeling so hot these days.
Is that what Axel Rose looks like now?
You know when people start to resemble Mick Hucknall they don’t have long to go
Although saying that “Dougherty” was actually a good attempt!
what, no Artie Lange?
yeah,i’d like to stuff vern troyer up my ass and run a mile and turn him into david hasselhoff.because that’s what happens when you stuff dwarves up your butt and run-around for awhile,their careers BLOW UP!!! fuck. i hate hollywood.
This site is stupid. Write some real shit and stop being haters and wishing the worst for people unless they are truly deserving. I’d like to see some more interesting positive articles and not ones that predict failure or death.
Can’t overlook Vern Troyer. Midgets never last long, especially the alchoholic ones.
A few of you mentioned Amy Winehouse, I believe she is near the top of the list.
My personal Deadpool has already had 4 hits and it’s only April.
Gut!
This whole article cracked me up….and all the posts afterwards…
How about the “B”-Listers chained to the wall in Phil Spectors basement?
It is a terrible thing to contemplate anybodies demise.Everyone mentioned in here is a living breathing human being,and hopefully will remain that way for a very long time.If I were to take an uneducated stab at something this vile.I would have to incorporate what has happened(or not)in the past.Without making mention of anybody in particular,it has been a very long time since a political figure was the victim of an “accident”,or even the (parish the thought)an assassination attempt.I will leave it at that.I pray to God that everyone mentioned here,and everyone that reads this S–T.Will live long enough to see Karl Malden see his next ten birthdays.
I want to be on this list! But there is a catch.I get to die on December 31st/09 at 11:59pm.Cause of death? Humped to death by Christy Canyon,with obvious head trauma from the brutal bludgeoning received from her enormous breasts.I’M READY LORD!I AM READDDDDY!!
nobody says Obama, ‘Because The Secret Service Might Pay Us A Visit’ (for the person who didn’t read that part)…I heard a long time ago that people bet on who’s going to die next (cash)…I hope Michael Jackson kicks the bucket and leaves the rights to the Beatles songs to Paul McCartney in his will…read that he wanted to…but, I doubt it…if he did, Paul should give half to Yoko, Sean and Julian Lennon
p.s.~give Ringo and George’s son their share, too
So you sacrifice any bit of good taste and human dignity to place Obama’s name on your “un”list (what’s the diff anyway; you STILL SAID IT?) just so you can see if you will be right? What a f**king vulture! That is just unspeakably VILE of you! How disgusting!
Robert Mugabe, Hugh Hefner or Joe the Plumber
people most likely to die and how they will die in 09: Jonas Brothers, hopefully plane crash
Biggest odds on favourite to die in ’09…..THIS WEBSITE.
Ringo & George had a son? How did this happen?
Joan Rivers must be approaching her centenary by now.
David Letterman, Steve Jobs, Kurt Russell?
Well guys, you got Farrah Fawcett right … that’s 1 out of 17. Congrats. Looks like Anon’s kicking your ass so far, though – 2 for 2.
I think Ed McMahon is going to be seeing Johnny sometime this year.
Unfortunately, I think this is the last year for Teddy Kennedy. Sad by true. Hope they at least put a big bottle of scotch in the box with him.
ironic ironic shit. patrick really did die in 09. score!
Karl Malden is also gone.
Why would you have Barack Obama listed there? Is it because you think there are enough bigots in the US for someone to try to take a shot at him?
what a dumb ass question!! Fucking liberal!
The death of a President or potential President is never a good thing but, the SS better be on it’s game with this one and Obama better be smart enough to listen to the SS. Hey, it may not just be some racist slime ball who trys to take him out. He comes from a very corrupt state.
You, sir, are retarded.
No shit Sherlock.
no twat ure a retard !!
“Kraft Macaroni and Cheese and Diabetes”
I LOL’d
Haha, me too.
Interesting list lol
I plead the Fifth Ammendment
If you don’t like the site, then don’t come back. Freedom of Speech, baby.
Any death list that doesn’t have Amy Winehouse is shyte!
she was left in the “too obvious” category.
if you didn’t notice.
Nice Deadpool, Ironic that Axl is there cause G’N'R’s first hit “Welcome to the Jungle” actually debuted on the soundtrack for The Dead Pool” the Dirty Harry movie, and Jim Carey played the singer of the fictional band in the movie, and it seemed to me he was channeling Axl. Ramble Ramble Ramble……
HAIR METAL IS AAAAAAAWESOME
dude hair metal is awesome
ALL metal is awesome
dont be hating on metal cause its not as popular as at used to be
METAL WILL NEVER DIE
It may never die, but it will always suck!
METAL \M/
John Goodman is a whale. He gotta go at least 350.
EVER HEAR OF GREENPEACE? This Dude is “heavily” protected.I’ll bet that guy can pump coaltar through his arteries.
What about Bernie Madoff? That guy pissed off sooooo many people. I picture some rich guy putting him on an island, and hunting him, for sport. like that Ice-T movie in the early 90s.
Or… you could just say the most dangerous game?
No, stick with the Ice-T movie. I’m sure more people will recognize that on here.
i hadn’t thought about being hunted on a deserted isle, rather simply assassinated.
NEWSFLASH:
Joan Rivers has already gone to her heavenly reward.She’s just too ugly and stupid to lay down and get buried.She’ll likely be around forever,for that husband (R.I.P.) of hers is nailing the door to eternity shut.HE DON’T WANT THE BITCH EITHER.
Joan Rivers. Oh please. And her daughter will figure a way to make money off it.
You missed Artie Lange
wat did lit wayne do to gain a spot on the list lolz???? i mean his music would live on trus lolz
no lil wayne?
I’m sure the writer was indicating his album
“The failure of “Chinese Democracy will be too much for him to take.”
I’m confused on this part… were you talking about the album or the Chinese government? Because they both pretty much suck.
I’m waiting of the day Paula Deen whips up a recipe for Deep Fried Butter. The woman is out of control — my arteries cringe whenever I catch even a minute or her show!
The very concept of this article is deliciously awful
They got rid of Emeril so they had to bring in another fatty feeder. It shouldn’t be called the Food Network anyway, it should be called “If you’re fat and you know it clap your hands… except your arms can’t make it all the way around your tubby gunt and man boobs and 30-odd folds of flesh so… just watch Paula and order a pizza.”
WOW, you TOTALLY missed Amy Winehouse!
Was Amy Winehouse too obvious? She’s definitely going to die sometime soon.
Wow…Amazing. Horrible, but still amazing.