Some celebrities and sports figures are so full of themselves that they turn their kid's names into a carnival of ego and arrogance. Here are the six worst.
Roger ClemensKids: Koby Aaron, Kory Allen, Kacy Austin, and Kody Alec
You must really love yourself, and hate your children, when feel the need to start all of your kid's names with K (for "strikeout"). If the Rocket has any more offspring he may want to consider using P (for "perjury") or O (for "Oh my God, I am going to jail.")
Sylvester StalloneKids: Sage, Seargeoh, Sophia, Sisten and Scarlet Seargeoh and Sisten? You know you can't get enough of yourself when you give all your kids names that start with the first letter of your name, and don¹t even give a shit that two of them spell out the sound you make when you accidentally sit on your nutsack.
Kevin Ferguson, a.k.a. Kimbo SliceKids: Kevin, Kevin, Kevina, Kassandra, Kiara and Kevlar
At the risk of getting beaten senseless, I had to throw Kimbo on this list. First of all, the letter K isn't the easiest letter to start a name with. That's why it's worth 5 points in scrabble. So, to not only give all six of your kids names that start with K, but four of which start with Kev, well, on the narcissism scale that's up there with "I masturbate to a picture of myself masturbating." I will now go into hiding.
Robert RodriguezKids: Rocket Valentin, Racer Maximilliano, and Rebel Antonio
You know you're a self-absorbed douchewad when you try to use your children's names to impress Quentin Tarantino. I know Rodriguez thinks he's edgy, but he made three installments of the spy kids movie, the last of which was just two hours of him sitting in a gold room, counting money. He did the patented "start the name with the first letter of my name" but then upped it a notch when he decided to give them a second name that may be cool for him to talk about at the sundance film festival.
Deion SandersKids: Deiondra and Deion Jr.
Wanting to name your son Deion Jr. is completely understandable. But don't squeeze your name into your daughter's name just to feed your insatiable ego and carry on your larger-than-life persona. It's almost as if he expects the newborn to come high-stepping out of his wife's vagina while wearing a do-rag and yelling "Primetime!" It's a child, not an interception.
George ForemanHis sons are named: George Jr., George III, George IV, George V and George VI George Travis Walls
Naming every son after yourself isn't egotism, it's obsessive compulsion. (If you notice, his first name appears three (three!) times ont he cover of his autobiography.) Here's what goes on inside George's mind every time he has another son: "Raarrr! George good! George name George again! And again! One more George! How many George that make now? George lose count. George no like math! Raaar! Please buy my grill."
Naming your kids the same name over and over isn't lazy or self absorbed. It's proper planning. Every single time I go to call one of my boys, I call the wrong name first. It's not intentional, it just happens. George Foreman doesn't have that problem. He yells, "George, get the fuck over here!" and his kids have two options:
1. Risk getting punched in the stomach by thinking he's talking to one of the other seven Georges in the house and be mistaken.
2. Not gamble and Get the fuck over there.
He's not even pretending to be their dad. He's just growing them for the purpose of harvesting their organs when his give out from over-consumption of grilled meat. George Jr. is for the kidneys, George III is for the liver, George IV is for testicles. You see, while being named 1, 2, and 3 is somewhat of a slap in the face, being named "liver replacement" and "someday my balls will need fixing" is a touch worse.
This can get better though... what about dual parenting self absorbtion? I know a woman named Elverna. When I was a kid I sold firewood to her parents and noticed from the nameplate on their home that her parents' names were Elmer and Vern.
On a related topic, I also know a man named Richard (Dick) Head. Not surprisingly, I think he has had his lunch money stolen every single day of his life.
You want funny? I want to see the Holy Taco bio of every woman who makes it to the 'house' for Flavor Flav's new show. The auditions were the most poignant and laughable Americana that I have ever seen,
What if a celebrity had named their kids with all the letters of their own name?
Like if Clint Eastwood named his kids Carl, Laura, Ivan, Nancy, and Tom. I can only imagine how they would always be lined up in that order for family photos and things, on top of forcing his wife to go through five separate childbirths.
I found him on a celebrity and millionaire dating site called
"M ixed mate....c-o-m " or something. I forget the screename. I will check it out for you guys and come out with the truth soon.
I think Quinton "Rampage" Jackson did more torture to his kids than Kimbo. He actually named his kids D'angelo Rampage Jackson, Raja Rampage Jackson, Elijah Rampage Jackson, and Naname Page Jackson. Naname is a girl and the only reason her middle name isn't Rampage is because his ex wife wouldn't let him.
What about dual parenting self absorbtion? I know a woman named Elverna. When I was a kid I sold firewood to her parents and noticed from the nameplate on their home that her parents' names were Elmer and Vern.
club penguin
(18 Comments)
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
December 16th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
I'm comin after your ass
December 16th, 2008 at 01:02 pm
Naming your kids the same name over and over isn't lazy or self absorbed. It's proper planning. Every single time I go to call one of my boys, I call the wrong name first. It's not intentional, it just happens. George Foreman doesn't have that problem. He yells, "George, get the fuck over here!" and his kids have two options:
1. Risk getting punched in the stomach by thinking he's talking to one of the other seven Georges in the house and be mistaken.
2. Not gamble and Get the fuck over there.
He's not even pretending to be their dad. He's just growing them for the purpose of harvesting their organs when his give out from over-consumption of grilled meat. George Jr. is for the kidneys, George III is for the liver, George IV is for testicles. You see, while being named 1, 2, and 3 is somewhat of a slap in the face, being named "liver replacement" and "someday my balls will need fixing" is a touch worse.
December 16th, 2008 at 01:05 pm
You're a total fraud, Kibo.
December 16th, 2008 at 01:16 pm
This can get better though... what about dual parenting self absorbtion? I know a woman named Elverna. When I was a kid I sold firewood to her parents and noticed from the nameplate on their home that her parents' names were Elmer and Vern.
On a related topic, I also know a man named Richard (Dick) Head. Not surprisingly, I think he has had his lunch money stolen every single day of his life.
You want funny? I want to see the Holy Taco bio of every woman who makes it to the 'house' for Flavor Flav's new show. The auditions were the most poignant and laughable Americana that I have ever seen,
December 16th, 2008 at 01:19 pm
my face wasnt always so flat.
December 16th, 2008 at 01:23 pm
Don't worry about Kimbo "Glass-jaw" Slice... Just get a guy who actually can fight a little, and he will beat him....
December 16th, 2008 at 02:08 pm
I was listening to the radio one day and heard someone had named their kids Integra, Vigor, and Legend after their fleet of cars.
Well, I want to name my kids Colt, Celebrity, and Voyager, after my mom's.
December 16th, 2008 at 02:27 pm
What if a celebrity had named their kids with all the letters of their own name?
Like if Clint Eastwood named his kids Carl, Laura, Ivan, Nancy, and Tom. I can only imagine how they would always be lined up in that order for family photos and things, on top of forcing his wife to go through five separate childbirths.
December 16th, 2008 at 03:17 pm
What's up with Kimbo's belly button?
December 16th, 2008 at 04:52 pm
When's the "Top Dumb Celebucunts who torture their Children with Horrible Names" coming
December 16th, 2008 at 06:26 pm
Robert loggia
December 16th, 2008 at 09:15 pm
I was like 'this post seems familiar'
Then I saw George Foreman and went 'yep, this is a repost'
December 17th, 2008 at 12:48 am
I found him on a celebrity and millionaire dating site called
"M ixed mate....c-o-m " or something. I forget the screename. I will check it out for you guys and come out with the truth soon.
December 17th, 2008 at 07:38 am
I think Quinton "Rampage" Jackson did more torture to his kids than Kimbo. He actually named his kids D'angelo Rampage Jackson, Raja Rampage Jackson, Elijah Rampage Jackson, and Naname Page Jackson. Naname is a girl and the only reason her middle name isn't Rampage is because his ex wife wouldn't let him.
December 17th, 2008 at 01:08 pm
"It's a child, not an interception."
LOL...
December 17th, 2008 at 01:38 pm
REPOST REPOST REPOST REPOST REPOST REPOST REPOST REPOST REPOST REPOST REPOST REPOST REPOST REPOST REPOST REPOST REPOST REPOST
There... That should teach you a lesson.
June 16th, 2009 at 02:32 am
What about dual parenting self absorbtion? I know a woman named Elverna. When I was a kid I sold firewood to her parents and noticed from the nameplate on their home that her parents' names were Elmer and Vern.
club penguin
July 22nd, 2009 at 01:12 pm
Lol it'll be George and his 6 others for the 6 George Foreman outdoor grill lol!
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