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6 Signs that Indicated Bill Murray was Not on Twitter

It came to light recently that the Bill_Murray Twitter account was not real.  I was not in the loop on this as I recall seeing it some months ago and just assuming it was a fake account, having not been verified and sounding literally nothing like Bill Murray at all.  As a connoisseur of Murray’s work, I have owned Stripes on not just DVD and VHS but even, for a short time, on Laserdisc.  90% of humans alive, right now, when confronted with that will sincerely say “what the hell is Laserdisc?”  It was a big disc, man!  And I had Stripes on it!  It was like a CD and a dinner plate porked and had an unholy baby that included special features,  but before DVDs existed.  It was tight.  Point is, I feel I know me some Murray, and that Bill Murray account seemed a little shady.  But what did I care?

Well, it’s all over for fake Murray now and, in retrospect, we can look back on just where it seemed like things were a little strange.  Incidentally, prior to this article going live, Mr. Fake Murray packed up shop and changed his name to Dotbizzle in an effort to retain his followers despite gaining them under false pretenses.  So the reason none of these tweets say Bill Murray is because this guy is a tool.  Sorry.

Ass Kissing

Look at these shenanigans;

Picture Bill Murray saying this.  Bill Murray, eccentric comedian extraordinaire, famed for repeatedly opting in and out of Ghostbusters 3, for doing indie, art house projects and for apparently constantly trolling people in real life and then simply saying “no one will ever believe you” afterwards.  Picture him bargaining with you, a stranger, on Twitter, to follow Randy Goddamn Quaid.  Even Dennis Quaid doesn’t follow Randy Quaid.  Last time anyone heard of Randy Quaid was when he literally went insane and fled to Canada to escape some Hollywood conspiracy that was out to murder him.  Do you think he’s on Twitter?  And is in need of followers recruited by Bill Murray?

Bullshit

I need you to read the following tweet very carefully and see if you can spot the mistake;

 

See it?  Read the whole thing.  I’ll give you a hint;

 

 

Indeed.  Bill Murray is not engaging in any similar vernacular styles with any of the people on Twitter who currently feel the need to tweet the statement “good morning Twitter nation.”  I bet if you tried to get him to say that sentence in an interview he’d walk out on you.  It’s not the way a 61 year old accomplished comedian speaks.  Not ever.

Research, Bitch

Murray has never really done hacky shtick.  He’s not a one liner comedian so the entire format of Twitter would be weird for him.  But even if he were on twitter, would he make hack baseball jokes?

 

Murray is a big sports fan, and is part owner of a baseball team.  Of course it could be just a joke.  Just not a joke a comedian who actually likes baseball would make.  Kind of like all the jokes he makes about his wife, despite Murray having been divorced in 2008.

How Old is Bill Again?

The real Bill Murray is 61.  He’s an iconic comedian, he’s best known for chasing ghosts and trying to kill a gopher puppet.  His Twitter account gave us this;

 

 That’s 5 tweets from between June 7th and June 16th alone, making fairly lame jokes about Justin Bieber. Do people still make fun of him?  Does Bill Murray?

Repetitiveness is My Job!

Spot the differences here;

 

 Now try these;

 Or these;

 

 Indeed, it seems like Bill Murray is so bloody boring and uncreative he just has a list of jokes he continues to tweet over and over again.  Really?

Bill Who?

Here’s a trio, amongst many, of tweets that Billy retweeted at some point in time;

 

All big fans of Mr. Bill Murray.  Er, wait.  Bill Murry.  Who the hell is Bill Murry?  That’s Bill Murray when you’re too stupid to know how to spell his name, which is the name the fake Bill Murray used for several months until someone clued him to his typo.  It’s possible Bill Murray would misspell his own name, though.  Maybe.

So who is DotBizzle who spent so much time not only pretending to be Bill Murray but also, under the guise of Murray, soliciting money to a paypal account for his own benefit, which is fraud?  He’s an asshole.  But his hack jokes, tired slang and turns of phrase paint him as a man, probably white, probably very convinced he’s funny, probably somewhere between 25 and 35 and probably scouring the internet fairly regular for jokes he can steal and pretend are his own since he’s obviously not particularly creative.

Atta boy, scumbag.

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