Getting behind the wheel of a car when you’re
wasted is one of the stupidest things you can do, but some people still do it. So when the
cops pull them over, we are given a reality show that’s better than all the
Real World‘s,
Tool Academy‘s and
Fear Factor‘s combined. Here are a few important things to remember if your
an idiot who drinks and drives, and then gets caught:
TIP #1: Don’t Fall Down
If you’re going down on the pavement, make sure you don’t use your hands, arms or shoulders to soften the blow. Your head is a great way to break that fall.
TIP #2: Don’t Drop Anything
Note to wasted idiots everywhere: If you drop your license, let the officer pick it up. But, if you do decide to pick it up, make sure your ass crack is showing and you make a nice sighing noise as your head goes through the nearby wall.
TIP #3: Always Know How To Scratch Your Nuts
Congress should add an amendment to the breathalyzer law that states that if your nuts do indeed itch, then you will be entitled to postpone your breathalyzer until both of your nuts can be sufficiently scratched, either by law enforcement or your own free will. Until this amendment passes, though, you should practice scratching your nuts in any situation (i.e.-while handcuffed, while being pinned down by angry police officers, etc.).
TIP #4: Driving Anything While Drunk is Probably Illegal
Even if this redneck didn’t think that driving a lawn mower while intoxicated was against the law, he probably would’ve been better off just taking a joy-walk instead of a joy-ride. Especially at what appears to be 2 o’clock in the afternoon.
TIP #5: Offer a Clear, Reasonable Explanation
As you can see, if you’re pulled over for something you clearly didn’t do, just calmly scream into the camera and at the faces of the nearby police officers. They’re bound to see their mistake and let you go on your way, especially if you’re a minority.
TIP #6: Have a Basic Understanding of Dance
This is from Reno 911, so while this technically isn’t "real," it’s still "really funny" in the traditional sense. Regardless, you should have some solid dance moves in your back pocket. They’re useful for many occasions.
Courtney Love & Muppet Sexual Assault
Playboy’s Big Dance March Madness Bracket Challenge
firsssssssst-AH
you’ve showed like half or more of these before, lazy fags.
Is it eellegal to cut grass?! Is it eellegal to cut grass?!
my wife’s gonna kick your ass!
Reno 911 is very hit and miss. Sometimes its hilarious, and other times it can get boringly stupid.
The movie was bad but the show cracks the crap out of me every time.
I mean, it probly goes without saying, but when these guys fight with the cops in these videos, they are having “STUPID” arguments, right?
None of these would actually be considered “DRUNKEN” arguments, would they? That couldn’t be….
There’s apparently a really big difference, right????
lolz, ya pusssssssssssssssyssss har har har
ah quite right “6 Tips for Stupid Drivers” web master please promptly correct this offensive error
easily one of the finest moments in all of Reno 911