With close to 6000 strikeouts and seven no-hitters, it’s easy to see why Nolan Ryan, a native Texan, is considered a hero to baseball fans in his home state. So in 1993, when Chicago White Sox third baseman Robin Ventura charged Ryan after being hit with a pitch, it was a safe assumption that he wasn’t making any friends with the local populous. Despite Ventura being twenty years his junior, the 46-year-old Ryan easily manhandled his attacker, pummeling him until other players pulled them apart. Texas fans never forgave Ventura for the incident, and he was booed whenever he played in the state for the remainder of his career.
Antonio López de Santa Anna, better known as Santa Anna, was a Mexican general, president, and sometimes dictator back in the early 1800’s. And if there’s one thing to be said for him, it’s that he had no problem messing with Texas. In fact, Santa Anna was screwing with Texas before it officially existed, making him perhaps the first person ever to mess with it.
In 1835, what we now know as Texas was still part of Mexico. When people in the area decided to declare their independence, Santa Anna decided he didn’t like that idea, and brutally squashed the rebellion, killing roughly 200 fighters at the Battle of the Alamo, and executing around 300 prisoners afterward. Although they eventually had their revenge with Santa Anna’s humiliating capture and defeat, Texans still bitch and moan about the Alamo to this day, which is a testament to how badly they were messed with.
4. Gregory Lee Johnson
In 1984, Gregory Lee Johnson was a member of the Revolutionary Communist Youth Brigade, which is a nice way of saying he was an all-around asshole. During a protest in Dallas, Johnson decided it would be a good idea to steal an American flag and light it on fire. Texas didn’t take too kindly to the act, and charged Johnson with a state law prohibiting desecration of a venerated object. However, Johnson appealed all the way to the Supreme Court, which ruled in his favor. The case became known as Texas v. Johnson, and is considered an important milestone in the interpretation of the First Amendment. It’s also the reason Fregie of The Black Eyed Peas contunes to defecate on American flags with total impunity (probably).
3. Jane Roe
Jane Roe (whose real name was Norma Leah McCorvey), messed with Texas in a very similar manner to Gregory Lee Johnson. But instead of burning flags with kerosene, Roe wanted to burn fetuses with saline solution. However, anti-abortion laws in Texas prevented her from doing so. Roe challenged the laws in court, and like Johnson, the Supreme Court ruled in her favor, paving the way for legal abortions nationwide. If she had not messed with Texas, you’d still be making child support payments to that fat girl you met in Fort Lauderdale during spring break, 2004.
2. Oprah
In 1996, Oprah messed with Texas in the worst way possible: she threatened to stop eating ground beef. While that alone would negatively affect the Texas cattle trade, comments she made on her show about her fear of Mad Cow Disease scared the living daylights out of Texas cattlemen. The fear of a bunch of dimwitted housewives following Oprah’s lead them to sue the TV host for "false defamation of perishable food" and "business disparagement." However, Oprah beat the charges in what had to be one of the most humiliating defeats in Texas history.
1. Charles Whitman
On August 1, 1966, University of Texas student Chales Whitman decided to mess with Texas…in a big way. An ex-Marine, Whitman put his shooting skills to use, climbing to the top of a tower on campus and launching one of the deadliest shooting sprees in American history. In all, 14 people were killed and 32 were wounded before authorities finally killed the nut bag. Hopefully, Texas hero Sam Houston is brutally sodomizing Whitman in hell as we speak.
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The eyes of texas are upon you,
from night, till early in the morn.
the eyes of texas are upon you,
till Gabriel blows his horn…
hahaha, Im from Chicago- I rock all around.
Sam Houston didn’t go to Hell.
Are you sure these people successfully messed with Texas in the long run?
7: Killed
6: Got his ass whipped
5: Lost a solid portion of his country’s territory, exiled
4: Eventually got off
3: Became pro-life post-SCOTUS decision
2: Fat bitch
1: Got capped by Texas cops on the top of the tower
Tony Romo is a pretty good quarterback. There are a number of other variables that keep the Cowboys from going farther in the playoffs.
“…Fregie of The Black Eyed Peas contunes to defecate on American flags…”
I think you mean that Fergie continues etc.
What about Ozzy?
yeah, like sucking ass big fucking time
Doesn’t the US government still have Santa Ana’s leg? That’s how bad Texas took him down. They stole his pegleg.
I messed with the Feds (ATF), not Texas.
David Koresh is missing from this list.
Your understanding of history is poor, but what’s new.
And Romo won’t win shit.
You wouldn’t say that to Texas’s face!
I’ll shake that!
Careful. By hand he means penis.
that romo honorable mention made this article all kinds of WIN!!!…. I would like to shake your hand sir
the stars at night
are big and bright
middle fingers in the
air to texas